It's Puck's daughter's third birthday and they're all invited (obligated apparently) to attend her superhero costumed themed party (yes, his daughter is as much of a badass as he is).
She's never been thrilled with the notion of dressing up- her attitude is that unless it's for sex it's pretty lame- but she knows how much this means to Puck, and Finn's ridiculously excited so she guesses she can suck it up for one day. After much, much, way too much deliberation on which superhero to go as, Finn finally decides to go with Spiderman only when they get to the rental place they discover the only costumes they have for a guy his size are Chewbacca and Big Bird. His heart literally breaks into a thousand pieces and if he were any other guy she'd think it was fucking pathetic. But it's her guy. So again, she sucks it up and feigns understanding and support.
She actually likes Star Wars; underneath the lasers and the insane looking freaks called characters, she thinks there's actually a pretty epic story in there about forbidden love, greed, grief, anger and redemption, but she doesn't blame him for not wanting to dress up as a big hairy wookie beast. Puck would tease him mercilessly and although there's a glimmer of hope when she suggests she could dress as his counterpart, Princess Leia, they both agree her costume would be incredibly inappropriate for a 3-year old's party, so Chewbacca goes out the window. And while big bird is hilarious, and she manages to get a great picture out of him trying it on, the giant feet matched with Finn's lack of grace is just too high of a safety risk. He goes home empty handed and she actual feels really bad when he starts murmuring how much he hates his stupid height and spends the rest of the afternoon depressed. On her way home from work the next day she stops by Walmart and grabs a ton of green body paint and some purple fabric dye before sneaking her way into his place to grab an old pair of jeans to cut up. And when the day of the party comes she thinks he's the happiest, sexiest Incredible Hulk she's ever seen.
When they get to the party Puck's actually a little jealous that his ripped tank top and bloodied armed GI Joes effort has been out-sexified by a half-naked bed-head Finn-Hulk. Santana's dressed up as Super Woman (because it was the only outfit that wouldn't scar the kids and cause a sex riot amongst the parents but still managed to make her boobs look magnificent), while Brittney's dressed as Cat Woman, although its not as much 'Cat Woman' as a 'cat' woman. Anyway, it's one group picture the 4 of them will all cherish.
The party's great and the kids have a blast and she actually enjoys herself mingling amongst the parents. Puck and Finn are busy having some epic battle in the yard with the kids while Brittney's talking to one of the dads who came dressed up as Garfield and she's just watching it all happen by the side of the buffet table when one of the moms comes up to talk to her.
"Which one's yours?"
"Oh, the giant incredible hulk…" she jokes dryly. "We're friends of Noah's."
She always refers to him as Noah instead of Puck in front of strangers. Looking out to where he's running animatedly with his daughter laughing hysterically while thrown over his shoulder, she thinks he definitely seems more like a Noah right now than a Puck. He's a great dad and both women smile in that agreement.
"Oh, my son – the transformer – hasn't stopped talking about the incredible hulk guy."
"-Oh did he step on your son too. I'm really sorry he didn't mean to he's just really tall and uncoordinated."
"No, he hasn't stopped talking about how 'cool' the incredible hulk guy is. I'm telling you, guys like that, who aren't afraid to actually engage and put effort into entertaining the kids… those are the ones you want to hold on to."
The woman then squeezes Santana's shoulder gently for some kind of dramatic emphasis before leaving to talk to one of the other moms. At first she's completely creeped out. This woman just appeared out of nowhere, offered a dramatic pearl of wisdom like a Morgan Freeman character in a movie and then left. She's looking around for some invisible audience to agree with her about how weird that was, but then she's drawn back into watching Puck and Finn with the kids and the woman's words start to sink in.
Finn's amazing with kids. He's never even met any of them and half of them are already wishing they had him for a dad instead of their own. She thinks it's probably easy for him because he's still a kid himself, but there's just something great about seeing him like this.
She'd never given much thought to kids. She's never really been around them and her parents have always tainted the prospect of a life as a parent. But looking around she decides kids are cute. And the way she puts up with Finn's childish antics makes her think she must have a maternal instinct in her somewhere. But the responsibility and the drama of it all is kind of too overwhelming for her to contemplate the whole thing seriously. There's a pride in knowing her boyfriend can handle it though, and she thinks the Morgan Freeman mom had good advice when she said she should hold on to him. Plus, it's weird, but his body looks even hotter with green body paint and sweat mixed around it.
She's looking around the buffet room to find Brittney when all of a sudden there's a loud yelp from the yard and all of the parents simultaneously whip their heads around in unison to see the commotion. Chorused murmurs of "who's is it?" break out but as Santana darts her eyes around the yard she rolls her eyes at the scene before yelling "it's mine!" and pushing her way through the crowds to reach the Incredible Hulk who's nursing a bumped head, presumably from tripping over a kid again.
The rest of the afternoon goes smoothly. There's cake, presents and a mini concert from Finn and Puck's band who play a medley of the best superhero theme tunes. It's a total success. And she lets Puck know how proud she is of him for putting the whole thing together before heading home with Brittney and Finn. Britt heads to the airport straight after changing because she's due in L.A to dance in some music video so they say their goodbyes too and then it's just her and Finn. He's sat on the couch, totally worn out and still slightly concussed, but when she comes out her room in a surprise change from her modest Super Woman costume to the slutty Princess Leia costume she went back to rent from the store and starts giving him a strip-tease, he suddenly has all the energy in the world.
There's another routine 'I love you' from Finn as they drift off to sleep. And she can feel the words vibrating through her mind and body but they don't escape her lips. So he receives another routine silence, before giving her his routine squeeze of assurance.
It's her lunch break but she's sat up at the bar Finn works at because his day shifts are usually insanely boring at she's an awesome girlfriend like that. Finn's educating her on the elderly drunken regulars and the nicknames he's grown accustomed to calling them, while she sits sipping on a fancy alcohol-free cocktail he made up for her and attempting to throw peanuts in his mouth at regular intervals. It's a fun game made even funner by the fact that for every time she misses Finn, she hits the drunk affectionately known as 'Bird-Man' (because he has some kind of parrot sound Tourette's syndrome) and the effect of that is just hilarious. When they run out of peanuts she makes him nip round the back to get some more and although he made her promise to stop throwing them at Bird-Man on purpose, they both know she had her fingers crossed under her lap.
Some drunk douche takes the seat next to her and despite being fairly good looking and of a similar age, it doesn't take a second for her to wish Bird-Man was suddenly sitting there instead.
"Sup. You're like really hot did you know that?"
She can see Finn in the doorway to the back of the bar, and he immediately straightens up from bending over the box of packaged peanuts. He looks at her with his jaw-clenched, like he's ready to tackle the dude across the bar on her signal, but she thinks this could be fun, so she gives him a wink and a sly hand gesture to let him know she's got this.
She turns to the guy and turns on the act.
"Yeah I'm so hot I think I need a drink."
"What will it be?"
"Triple-whiskey… neat." She responds with a flutter of the eyelashes.
"Haha sweet, coming right up baby, yo bar keep. How bout some service yo?" Finn slowly obliges with his jaw still clenched shut. "Triple-whiskey neat and a beer."
The guy slams his money down on the table and turns back to face her while Finn starts getting the drinks. It's lucky his back's turned because the guy starts to lean in a little closer.
"You know, I got a jag parked outside. It's an XKR convertible model. What do you say we finish these drinks and I take you for a spin. Reckon I could show you the ride of your life."
Capital douche. But she smiles and closes her act.
"That sounds ah-mazing… but I don't think my boyfriend would like it much. He'd probably kick your ass..."
"Well where is this boyfriend of yours? Cos I wont tell if you won't."
With impeccable timing, Finn returns with their drinks.
"Here's your drink yo." Finn gestures mockingly. "And for the lady…" he adds placing her drink in front of her.
She smiles and adds a sweet "thanks baby." before grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him over the bar for a hot, heavy and highly inappropriate kiss. They break away with her hand still clinging to the front of his shirt. They guy takes his drink and leaves, and she smooths down the front of Finn's now crumpled shirt before sitting back in her seat with a typical Santana-smirk on her face.
Finn stays leaning over the bar with a sly smile.
"That was kind of mean."
"He's a total douche who shouldn't have been hitting on me."
"Anyone with eyes wants to hit on you. I actually commend him for having the balls to try. Although, yes, he was a douche… You're not gonna drink that are you?" he adds nodding at her free triple-whiskey.
"No. Give it to old Bird-Man douche over there... Do you realize how many douches are in your line of work?"
He laughs as he takes the drink over to 'Bird-Man'. And as he returns to stand with her while drying up some glasses, he starts to think about something.
"Hey, um, I don't know if I ever actually thanked you for, you know, helping me out the gutter and getting me off the drink-"
"-Finn you've thanked me like a thousand times. You're welcome, no big deal." She says nonchalantly, while crunching on the ice from her juice-cocktail.
"No it is, because I used to be one of these douches. I was completely lost before you and you totally saved me. And you're still saving me. Helping me out when I make stupid decisions and kicking my butt in gear when I'm being too much of a dork or too pathetic-"
"-Wrap it up Finn, what are you auditioning for 90210?"
"Case in point. What I'm trying to say is, you're not just my ridiculously hot, beautiful, sexy, scary, bad-ass lawyer girlfriend. You're my hero. And in the words of Rascal Flatts: God bless the broken, foot caused by a fast moving Chevrolet, that led me straight to you."
She smiles. "Dork. I mean, thanks baby." And pulls him back over the bar for another inappropriate kiss which causes Bird-Man to erupt.
She breaks away this time leaving her hands around the back of his neck.
"Oh hush-up Bird-Man I got you a drink."
"Actually, I kind of think that was a squawk of approval." Finn suggests before leaning back in for more.
Eventually they break away for good but as she sits back down he leans further across the bar towards her.
He lifts her chin with his finger so that he can lock his eyes with hers before softly saying, "Hey, I love you."
Now she has no excuse and no escape. And despite feeling the words in her chest desperately trying to make their escape, there's something blocking them from reaching his ears. She loves him. She knows she loves him. But she just can't tell him she loves him.
Luckily it seems to be a day for impeccable timing as Puck suddenly storms into the bar, slightly out of breath, brandishing his biggest smile.
"Oh cool, you're both here -hey Bird-Man- have you heard? Rachel made it!"
"Made what?" Finn asks, his eyes still fixed on Santana who's know looking at the bar top.
"It. She made it. Broadway! And not just the supporting background roles she's been working. She got the leading role in the anniversary edition of Wicked. And she's given us all tickets to her opening performance. She did it!
Suddenly the dark clouds that made no sense this morning given the run of sunny weather they'd had recently, start to make perfect sense...