"All because of you, I haven't slept in so long. When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean; longing for the shore where I can lay my head down.
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you I believe in angels. Not the kind with wings, no, not the kind with halos; the kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place.
I'll follow your voice…"

Rise Against—The Good Left Undone

Xxx

The sound of the machine's whirling; the sound of a patient going into cardiac arrest was a familiar noise to Kanda. After all, he was a doctor. Every day someone would die in the same building he worked in, and fatally, it would be by his own hands. There was no point in mourning over a patient's death—they had never talked to the person beforehand or ever smiled at them while walking to their destinations. They had never met the person in their lives until the day they came to them hurt or dying. So when Kanda would be standing over a person with their heart meter flat, he went cold. No feeling would rush through him. And if they died, they died. Life goes on. That's what they taught him. That's what life taught him. He would walk down the same corridor where he walked every day to get to his office and see the victim's family looking hopeful. He would shake his head. The mother would break into mournful screams and he would walk away.

Kanda had never understood why. Why would anyone become so sad over somebody else's life? Death was inevitable. Why fight it…? Everything after the bar had been a blur to him.

He had been storming off after seeing Tyki kissing Lavi when he had heard a siren. Every part of his mind screamed: Something's wrong. Lavi. Go to Lavi. He ran as fast as he could back to the bar. He remembered the looks of pity he was receiving as he pushed his way to the center of the crowd. He remembered Lulubell holding Lavi's head on her lap and screaming something at Tyki.

There was no one there to Kanda but Lavi.

No sound came out as he bent down and pulled Lavi into his arms. Lulubell flinched and for the first time, he noticed the tears pooling in her eyes. Tyki reached to say something to her but she slapped his hand away. But Kanda wasn't paying attention anymore. He pressed his cheek against Lavi's chest, checking for a pulse and screamed orders at the ambulance men. He didn't remember what it was. Not that he cared. Only Lavi. The red head was puking to no end and Kanda had to turn him over so he wouldn't choke on his own vile. The color had left his face and he was still out cold. Praying to no God in particular, Kanda grimaced as he saw Lavi try to throw up most of the drug back up.

Guilt seared through him and the unmistakable panic as he gently cradled him in his arms. "I'm sorry I left you…I know you didn't kiss him intentionally…I'm sorry…." He whispered soothingly, although his voice was shaking and he kissed Lavi's forehead repeatedly.

Allen placed his hand on his shoulder but Kanda spoke in such a low voice that he retracted his hand reluctantly. "Go home Moyashi…call Lenalee to come pick you up."

The men from the ambulance didn't waste a second to get Lavi into the vehicle and Kanda swore colorfully. He hated riding in ambulances. But the fear of losing Lavi was much worse then getting in a car. The trip to the hospital felt like an eternity and Kanda was the first out of the car. Storming down the hallways, he didn't bother grabbing his coat.

"Someone call Miranda!" He barked furiously, fumbling through the drawers and grabbed a syringe. There was no way he was going to work on Lavi while being drunk. Jamming the syringe into his arm as he continued walking down the halls, he followed the EMT's, half jogging. The syringe dropped from his hand and clattered to the floor but he could feel his himself sobering up. Maybe he was overreacting but his lover was on the table.

His heart clenched tightly and he shook his head and he felt a smile tug at his lips.

That's what if felt like when he met Lavi…

When they kissed…

When Lavi had told him over and over again how much he loved him…

Having his lover become part of him…

The smiles…

The laughs…

The jokes…

The memories…

Kanda pressed his lips softly against Lavi's forehead; he murmured something and then everything finally fell into place.

Xxx

Lenalee sighed lightly as she placed her hand over Allen's. "Isn't it funny? I turned Kanda gay."

Allen raised an eyebrow as they stood out the hospital's door. He knew Lenalee was worried and wasn't one to crack jokes under certain circumstances. Pausing for a moment to recover words he cleared he throat and nodded slowly. "I suppose…Why do you bring it up?"

"Well you remember when you first introduced me to Kanda—He was a total ass. I mean, when we started going out he was still an ass and didn't even try to stop. There was something about him that I wanted to find out. I wanted to be the one that made him open his eyes and see that he had to learn to be a little nicer. I love him Allen. No, not like that but he acts like an idiotic brother. And when he thought I had cheated on him with you…" She ignored the smirk that spread on her fiancées lips. "…I was worried. Because he wasn't hurt like any other man would. He was happy. About getting cheated on! Of all the things! Then it hit me. He wanted to have an excuse to not fall in love. He wanted me to mess up. He knew that I didn't love him and only wanted to open up his chances."

Allen frowned, biting his lip lightly. "I noticed that too now that I think back. That's why I hated him so much for awhile."

"And then came along Lavi." She said with an amused chide.

"And then came along Lavi…" He repeated with a sigh. "And all hell broke loose."

"You know what? I'm happy that Kanda went to the bar that night."

Allen wrapped Lenalee into his arms and gazed up at her lovingly. "So am I." He kissed her softly. "And the night I met you." He grinned and inclined his head towards the door where they could see Kanda sitting down in relief. "Looks like everything turned out ok, neh?"

"Ya…I guess it did." She laughed and waved at Kanda who scowled in reply.

Allen raised an eyebrow. "Bet you ten bucks he's going to go rape Lavi in bed."

"Ten bucks? Deal."

The sounds of their voices was fading to Kanda who began retracting back to Lavi's room and he placed his hand on the doorknob. He opened it and leaned against the doorway struggling to keep a glare on his face. Lavi turned to look at him wearily and chuckled weakly.

"Would it be corny if I said I love you right now Yu?"

Kanda inhaled sharply. "I'd hate you if you did."

"Good. I love you." Lavi said firmly, suddenly serious. "And you know that."

"I know." The breath escaped his pale lips and his blue eyes met with his lover's green eyes. "I love you too Lavi. And you know that."

Lavi swallowed. "I know."

Xxx

A/n: Sorry I have not updated as quick! Thank you Kuro for reviewing my first draft or I'd be screwed. Well guess what? Zero Tolerance has only one to two chapters to go! We still have to go through Lulu and Tyki! Hahaha comment please? PLEASE? Sorry for typos! Please don't flame me as bad as one chick did. Dude I practically curled up in the shame. Oh well, I'd message her/him back but she's/he's anonymous.