Second-last chapter, guys. After this, I'm starting a new story called 'Enigma' for Wanted, in the Movies section Please, check that out as well. So, onwards.
Ch. 21- Time- BPOV
"Does she know what's going on here?" Edward asked in a whisper, gesturing to the pretty, red-head human at the desk in the lobby of the castle. It was the first time he had spoken directly to me after we left the circular room, though he refused to unwind his arms from my waist, but he still wouldn't look me in the eye. I wondered if, in my absence, he had gotten unused to the idea of vampires. Or maybe the experience with Laurent, Victoria and all the vampires we had seen just now, had finally knocked some sense into him: that we were dangerous to be around. "She knows everything," I answered just as quietly and wondered when it would be the right time to talk to him about the elephant in the room. "Isn't she afraid that they'll kill her someday?" He asked, leaning down. His sweet breath swirled around me, keeping me at peace. "She knows it's a possibility," I whispered into his ear. "But, she's hoping they'll change her instead." At my answer, all the blood drained from Edward's face. "She wants to be one of them?" His voice was filled with disgust.
I didn't answer, just looked at him silently. 'Seven months ago, you wanted the same thing,' I wanted to remind him. But, I kept quiet. Instead, unable to resist myself, I leaned up and brushed my glass lips against his cheeks. "You look tired," I breathed out. Edward's reaction was pleasing; though it made me feel guiltier than ever about leaving him in the first place. He closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a shiver, swallowing loudly. "And, you look thirsty," he countered, tracing the purple bruises under my eyes. I smiled ruefully. "It's nothing," I told him. "I've never been in better control of that side of my nature than now."
He finally looked at me properly and I fought the urge to cringe as I took in his face, drinking in the sight greedily. His face was leaner than it used to be, like he hadn't been eating. There were dark circles under his eyes that rivalled my own, indicating many sleepless nights. His eyes were the worst; they were no longer bright green, but dark and weary. What had I done to him?
"Alice has gone to steal a car, hasn't she?" He guessed and I forced a smile. "Not here," I warned with a wink. Right on cue, I heard Alice's loud thoughts. 'I'm outside, Bella. Get Edward over here, already, come on. I want to see Jaz.' Lucky Alice. She could trust her future. I stood up, causing Edward to look up at me with a panic-stricken expression. "Alice has the car," I quickly told him, offering my hand. With a short hesitation, he took it and followed me out to a dark car, standing silently in the shadows. "There wasn't much choice," Alice said apologetically, gesturing to the dashboard. "It's alright, Alice," I smiled, as Edward and I got into the backseat. "They can't all be 911 Turbos." Alice smiled too. "It was fabulous," she mumbled. "I might have to acquire one legally someday." "I'll get you one for Christmas," I promised. She turned to grin at me. "Yellow," she reminded me.
I turned to Edward. "You should get some sleep," I told him softly. He shook his head in refusal. "If I sleep now, I'll have nightmares." And I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that, like everything else, his nightmares, too, were my fault.
I watched with a nervous smile as Jaz, after greeting Alice with a silent hug, turned to me. "Isabella," he greeted in a cold voice. I gulped. "I'm sorry, Jaz," I cried in a whisper. Abruptly, his façade melted away and he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up slightly, a relieved smile breaking out on his face. "Isa, don't you ever do that again, you get me?" He ordered. I choked out a laugh and nodded. "I'm sorry, Major," I repeated, trying to joke through my tears. Over his shoulder, I watched as Esme and Carlisle thanked Edward profusely for risking his own life to save mine, before coming over to envelop me in their embrace. "Rosalie and Emmett have got the cars waiting outside," Carlisle told me, still holding me tight. "I think we need to give an explanation to Edward's mother and uncle."
When we reached Edward's house, Edward went upstairs silently, not offering any explanation to Elizabeth and brushing off her hug. When he had disappeared with an "I'm going to bed," over his shoulder, Lizzie- no, Elizabeth- turned to me with a frantic look. "Bella, are you okay?" She asked. "Jasper told me you had tried to… to… to jump off a building," she whispered the last part. I knew the cover story my family had cooked up to explain Edward's three-day disappearance and nodded hesitantly. Immediately, Elizabeth burst into tears and hugged me. "Why did you leave, Bella?" She asked, crying profusely. "Didn't you guess that you wouldn't be hurting only Edward, but also yourself?" I hugged her back, shocked. She was worried about me? Even after I had put her son into a clinical depression?
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth," I sobbed out, as Phil patted my back consolingly. Elizabeth drew back and glared at me through her red eyes. "It's Lizzie," she scolded me and I laughed inspite of myself. "Now, go up to Edward. Go," she urged me and with a reassuring glance from my family, I went in the direction of my sanctuary: Edward's bedroom.
Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. "Come in," was the answer in a a barely audible voice, even to a vampire. I pushed the door open slowly. Edward was sitting on his bed, his back resting against the headboard, his arms crossed and his eyes looking straight ahead. Without saying a word, I sat across from him, drawing my knees up to my chest. "I'm sorry," I finally whispered. Edward turned his head slightly to look at me. "So it was true?" He asked in a hard voice, making me flinch. He had sat with Alice on the plane, who had, without my consent, told Edward everything; starting with why I had ignored him those few days after the birthday. "It was the only way to keep you safe," I said brokenly.
"No, it wasn't," he exclaimed, making me jump. His green eyes were dark and stormy with anger. Anger and sadness. "I wasn't safe all these months, Bella. I was half-dead all the time and came pretty close to going all the way a couple times." I winced horribly at his words, knowing they were true. Alice had told me in her head about Victoria, Laurent and the werewolves. Specifically, Rebecca Black. How could I have been so stupid?
A strangled sob escaped me and I quickly clamped my lips shut. Too late. Edward caught it. His shoulders slumped and all the anger left his body. "You know what hurt the most?" He asked in a hushed tone. "Not that you left me, or took the photos and the CD, or that you expected me to forget about you and move on. It was that you told me you didn't love me; that I didn't mean anything to you." We stayed quiet again. But I couldn't forget the questions I had.
"How could you believe me so easily?" I questioned. "After all the times I told you how much I loved you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" A bitter, twisted smile made its way onto Edward's lips. "You're not the centre of the universe, Bella," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. "But, my universe is a completely different matter. That's why I believed you." He paused. "But maybe, a part of me always knew that you had lied, that you still loved me," he mused. "Maybe that's why I had all those hallucinations." To that, I had no answer.
For a long while, we sat in silence. "Edward," I finally started in a quiet voice. He looked up at me, meeting my eyes. "What do we do now?" I asked. He lowered his eyes again. "I don't know, Bella. I need time." I felt my breath escape me in a gust and began shaking. "What do you mean?" I tried to ask, but it came out as a squeak. He shook his head in deep thought and eyed me carefully. "I need time, Bella," he repeated. I fought the urge to scream. "Time away from me, or time with me?" I choked out. He shut his eyes again. "Away from you," he whispered and I froze. "No, no Edward. Please don't," I begged weakly. "Please. I love you," I said, desperation evident in my voice. He re-opened his eyes. "I forgive you, Bella," he said, almost forcefully, leaning forward on his knees to grab my upper arms. "And I love you, too. I never stopped. But, I need some time to figure out if I can let you back into my life."
A heaving sob wracked my body and I gulped. "Don't take too long," I whispered and, clambering off the bed, left the room, running down the stairs and out the front door, ignoring Lizzie and Phil's questions. I knew Alice would come up with something to explain. All I knew at the moment was that I had to escape. Escape the house. My family's concern. Elizabeth's loving gestures. And, Edward's tortured face.
Different from canon? Yes. I was beyond furious when Bella forgave Edward so damn easily in New Moon. So, my story's realistic.