I can't ever seem to get these scenes over in just one chapter.

Warning: References to spankings.

Dedicated to my loyal reader who is writing his/her term papers - been there, done that - good luck:)

Around the time Norman was thinking of Edgar as a baby, Sig was standing outside of his littlest brother's bedroom, imagining what kind of man Edgar would grow up to be. Sig hoped that his brother would make a fine man who worked hard and still retained his heart of gold. A man that was compassionate, strong and honest to a fault.

That honesty is gonna drive me crazy someday but it'll be worth it. I only hope that I can set some kind of good example for him. And part of that example is being a man of your word. Don't promise something and never follow thru on it, because then no one will trust you and you'll lose respect in the eyes of your friends and enemies alike.

Sig knew in his heart as much as he didn't want to punish his brother, especially considering the encounter with Norman in the kitchen, he had no choice. Just yesterday, the warning had been clearly laid out but Edgar had elected to ignore it. Sig purpose ignored the why question that was bouncing around in his head but it was difficult. Something didn't seem right about this whole situation but damned if Sig could figure it out. Nothing seemed to make much sense so Sig went with the best explanation he could come up with.

Maybe this is some kind of test. Edgar has to know that I meant what I say because I always have, right? When I tell you I love you, I mean it. When I tell you to never be afraid to tell or ask me anything, I mean it. When I tell you I will always protect you, I mean it. When I tell you I'm gonna spank you with the paddle if you smoke again, I mean it. They are all the same things that boiled down to one very, very important thing – T.R.U.S.T.

I'm not losing your trust, kid. No way, no how.

With that thought, Sig slipped his high school class ring into his left jeans pocket, tucked the paddle behind his back and knocked softly on the bedroom door. No answer. The knock could not be heard over the muffled choking sounds coming from the room so Sig gently opened the door and peeked in.

Edgar was lying face down on his bed, a pillow over his head and hands and was shaking and making gasping noises that made Sig fearful the kid was going to hyperventilate and pass out.

Sig moved quickly into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. With soft footsteps, he walked over to the bed and slipped the paddle under the folded blanket at the edge of the bed. It was going to be a while before it was needed and Sig felt like having it just sitting there out in the open would be torture for the both of them.

Despite his current state, Edgar sensed the motion. He wasn't the least bit surprised or upset that the paddle was back in his room. He had expected it but he appreciated Sig's kind gesture all the same. It sort of meant that there were still things to talk about and Sig was still willing to take the time to talk about them. Edgar just hoped he wouldn't have to lie anymore because the knot in his stomach was already growing and no spanking or paddling in the world was going to get rid of it. He disobeyed and lied to his brother's face about so many things and he broke a promise he made just six days ago.

But more important than those things, Edgar had deeply hurt Norman, and the pain was unbearable. He didn't think he could live with it and this thought brought a round of painful choking sounds that were heartbreaking just to hear.

Sig noticed Edgar's book had fallen onto the floor so he picked it up and put it on his desk. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and, as gently as he could, he touched his youngest brother's back with his right hand.

Edgar didn't flinch away and Sig took this as a good sign. Sig could feel the raking sobs his brother was making so he just left his hand still for a few minutes. It was his way of letting his brother know that someone that loved him very much was right next to him and wasn't about to let him suffer alone. Should have done this a hundred fucking times, Sig thought to himself. Why did I stop myself? Doesn't matter, I'm here now…and always will be. No matter what.

Edgar was having trouble breathing, trying to contain the intense pain he was feeling inside and he started shivering. Strangely enough, he did notice that the gentle, warm right hand on his back was not wearing a certain high school class ring. Sig must have left it in his room. He never takes it off but he took it off for me, again and I don't deserve it. This brought more intense dry sobbing and heaving.

Sig finally had enough. He tossed the pillow off his brother's head and leaned in, whispering, "Stop, please, before you make yourself sick. Just talk to me, kid, please. It will help, I promise." Sig stroked his brother's messy hair with his left hand, his right moved up to Edgar's shoulder, squeezing gently and trying to encourage the kid to talk about it.

Now that he could see his face, Sig tell that Edgar was not letting himself actually cry but fighting to keep the tears in, hence the gasping sobs.

Edgar didn't move. He kept his eyes shut and buried his head in the comforter of his bed, his hands already at his face, rubbing woefully. It took over ten minutes for him to calm down. He tried speaking several times, finally choking out simply, "It hurts, Sig. It hurts…I didn't know." It was hard to understand from under the muffling of the blanket but Sig got it.

Sig smiled to himself. He knew exactly what Edgar was talking about because Sig was feeling the exact same way inside. "You didn't know how much you smoking hurt Norman." Sig said knowingly, more of a statement than a question.

Edgar just nodded pitifully. He turned his head to the side but kept his eyes closed. He just couldn't look at his brother right now but he figured Sig would want some kind of verbal response. "Yes, sir" he answered in a whisper.

"Easy on the 'sirs' Edgar, this is just a conversation between you and me, as brothers, the way I prefer it, ok?" Sig said gently.

Edgar nodded again, keeping his eyes screwed shut and still fighting the tears. "I didn't know, honest I didn't. I would have never smoked if I did" Edgar mumbled over his hand, which was rubbing hard at his lips now.

With his right hand, Sig lightly grabbed Edgar's and took it away from his face. He could see his little brother was getting raw around his lips from rubbing them so hard. No more hurting yourself. While holding on to the smaller hand, Sig sighed and said, "I didn't know either until tonight. I mean, I knew it bothered him but I never realized how much." Sig let go of Edgar's hand and placed it firmly on the bed. The motion was a clear message for Edgar that he was not to go after his face again tonight. Sig then returned to rubbing his brother's back gently over one of his old ACDC concert t-shirts. The kid has other shirts, why does he continue to wear my old things.

"I really hurt him." Edgar whispered to his oldest brother, "I never meant to hurt him like that."

"Me neither, Edgar" Sig whispered back. He took a very deep breath and thought, once you say it, Sigurd, you have to follow thru on it. Then he said quietly, "That's why I'm quitting. Tonight, as a matter of fact."

For the first time since Sig came in the room, Edgar opened his eyes and look up at his oldest brother out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head towards Sig with an expression of shock on his face.

Sig saw the look and gave a terribly fake expression of shock back. Edgar actually smiled and slowly rolled over onto his back. He pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of his bed. This information stopped the choking sobs in a heartbeat because it sounded too good to be true.

"For real?" Edgar asked incredulously, his eyes wide with hope.

Sig smiled and nodded. "Yes, for real. Cold turkey, God help me" Sig said with meaning and put his hand on his little brother's knee. He got serious and said, "That's one of the things we have to talk about."

Edgar just nodded to let his oldest brother know he was listening.

Sig looked at his brother hard. "Edgar, I'm likely to be real, real grumpy for the next few days and probably pretty sick so I won't be hanging around you very much. So I need you to understand that it has nothing to do with you or anything you did. I'm not mad at you at all. It's just going to be very hard for me to quit. I smoked a long time, as you well know, but I need to stop because it's killing my younger brother and setting a terrible example for my youngest brother. So…can you support me on this…no matter how tough I am to live with for a little while?" Sig asked hopefully.

The only answer Sig got was his little brother throwing his arms around his neck and giving him a hug so hard, it almost sent Sig hurling off the bed. Sig caught them both by bracing them with his left arm, his right holding his brother close to his chest.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.'" Sig whispered into his littlest brother's shaggy hair.

Edgar nodded enthusiastically against his brother's chest. He couldn't have been happier or prouder of his brother and the tough decision he was making. Edgar was genuinely willing to put up with a grumpy Sig for as long as it took if it meant that he'd quit smoking for good.

Sig hugged his little brother back, grateful for the show of support and he was now very sure he was doing the right thing. Apparently, his smoking bothered this little brother as well. Otherwise, the arms around his neck wouldn't be squeezing so hard. Sorry, kid, I didn't know that either. I just hope I don't take my grumpiness out on you and the tough guy. Sig started planning to hiding in his room for most of the weekend so his brothers wouldn't be exposed to his evil side.

Finally, Sig pulled his brother away from him, setting Edgar down on the bed next to him. "From the look on your face downstairs, you're done with smoking too, at least I very much hope you are?" Sig asked, looking at Edgar out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes" Edgar said quietly, "I'm done for sure…guess I came to that decision a little too late, huh?" Edgar bowed head and started studying his brother's shoes.

"Yeah, about a day too late, to be exact." Sig said, nudging him in the shoulder with his own gently. Then he said, "I have to tell you, I still have some questions for you."

"I figured you might." Edgar said with a sigh of resignation. I don't want to lie to you anymore, Sig. I hate this. But I can't take the risk of telling you the honest truth of what I did and where I went or why I smoked because I'm afraid if I tell you or Norman, you'll both confront those guys and get yourselves killed. Stubborn, tough Norwegians that we all are. You won't listen to me when I tell you how evil those guys really are. You don't know the half of what they can do.

"Let avoid the smoking topic for a minute, ok. I want to talk about other stuff first" Sig said.

Edgar replied with a short nod.

Sig took a deep breath. Ok, just be honest about what it bothering you the most and try not to bring the kid down too much. He's very fragile right now. Have to be careful about scolding him and making him feel worse than he already does. Thanks, Norman, by the way, for making this more of an emotion rollercoaster then it has to be.

Then Sig went to dealing with the easiest thing first.

"Ok, I understand why you left the house. You saw me offer my own cigarette to Nick and you felt it would be right to do the same. You wanted to follow my example. I get that, totally, and am actually very proud of you. That you wanted to try and do the right thing." Sig started this important conversation with praise, which came from his heart. He wasn't about to let this kid get completely down on himself because Sig thought too highly of him. You are a great kid, don't forget it.

The praise from his oldest and most admired brother did NOT have the intended effect for Edgar. In essence, it had quite the opposite effect.

That was complete bullshit, Sig. Complete and utter bullshit and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. Jesus, I hope you change your mind about never taking the strap to me because at this point, I deserve nothing less. Edgar wanted to go back to hiding under his pillow but he kept his head down so his brother wouldn't see the shame and humiliation in his eyes.

"But," Sig began slowly, "you were grounded and you were not supposed to leave the house, under any circumstances." He then added quietly, regretting having to say it, "You disobeyed me."

Yep, a whole hell of a lot. Edgar just nodded silently, still studying his brother's big shoes.

"And then you stayed out…for a girl, no less…by the way, sounds like she likes you, too (Sig nudged his brother gently, trying to get a smile. It didn't work. That's strange)…and you lost track of the time." Sig recalled the events of the night.

She does like me, I think. She told me so when she kissed me at the movies. But I didn't ever lose track of the time tonight. I knew exactly what time it was. Again, Edgar just nodded. I wonder if my feet will get that big someday.

Sig sighed and couldn't believe the words he had heard so often himself growing up were about to come out of his own mouth. "I realize I am going to sound exactly like mom right now, and maybe that's because she was so damn smart.. and right 99% of the time…ok, maybe 100% of the time, but I…well, Norman and I…we were worried sick about you. I drove around for an hour looking for you, praying you weren't in some ditch off the side of the road somewhere. Lots of bad thoughts were going through my mind and I was scared, Edgar. Really, really scared." Sig whispered, turning away from his brother and towards the bedroom window, "I'd never get over it if something bad happened to you."

Edgar actually physically felt his brother's words pierce his heart like a knife. It fucking hurt and Edgar didn't realize he unconsciously moved his left hand up to his chest, rubbing his heart over his t-shirt. I had good reason, Sig. I really did. Sorry I scared you but I'd never get over it if something bad happened to you, bro. You and Norman are everything to me now.

Edgar started crying on the inside but just nodded.

"So, you didn't tell me where you were going and you didn't think to call home to let me know where you were. Clear house rules that were broken." Sig said, still looking out the window. He added quietly, "You disobeyed again."

I had too. I couldn't call you. I couldn't tell you where I was. Yes, I disobeyed the rules and knew exactly what I was doing when I broke them. Edgar only nodded, not realizing his brother wasn't even looking at him.

Sig sighed. He added quickly, "I'm not addressing the curfew issue tonight but we'll talk about that tomorrow."

Edgar let out the tiniest gasp, thinking he'd be getting two punishments, one tonight and one tomorrow and that everything just wouldn't be totally settled tonight. Please don't make me go to sleep without settling all my debts. I hate waiting, no matter how bad the punishment would be increased to settle them all now.

Sig heard the noise and interpreted it correctly. He turned to his brother, quick to explain and set his mind at ease. "No, I don't mean THAT kind of talk. I just think…maybe 9:00 for a thirteen year old is a little…harsh. I want to talk to you at about extending it but right now is not the time, ok? Because you again disobeyed the rules by breaking your old curfew time tonight and I don't want you to think the extension is some kind of reward."

Edgar pondered this information for a minute. He's trying to treat me like a big kid instead of a baby. Why did you have to pick now? It only adds to the ever-growing guilt. Edgar mumbled a simple, "Ok" and left it at that.

Sig tried to return the conversation back to the list of offenses and needed to explain some things. He touched his little brother on the back of the head lightly and said, "If that had been the end of the disobeying tonight, I really want you to know I would have handled things a little different."

Edgar looked quizzically at his brother out of the corner of his eye, curious to know how Sig would have handled the breaking of these long established rules.

Sig saw the look and clarified, despite how difficult it was to do so, "We'd still be in your room, having this…chat…"

Edgar knew what that insinuated.

"…But I would have never gone to mom's closet first." Sig said, sadly cocking his head to the side.

Edgar knew what that insinuated too. His brother would have spanked him, using only his hand and nothing else.

"What I'm trying to tell you, Edgar, is I'm not breaking out the paddle every time you do something wrong. As a matter of fact, I am firmly committed to never touching it again after tonight…with one very important exception. That exception is if you ever knowingly put yourself in danger or at risk. Do NOT take that as some kind of challenge or warning. Just look at it as plain fact and obey me on this. Do you understand me?' Sig asked, rubbing his brother's hair gently.

Edgar nodded.

"Answer, please." Sig whispered in the tone that now switched the conversation over to another kind of level.

"Yes, I understand." Edgar said clearly.

Sig leaned in to his brother's side and whispered softly, "I'm only using the paddle tonight because I said I would if you smoked. I just don't want you to think I'm mean on purpose."

Edgar turned his full attention to his brother and saw the sad look in his eyes. "No" Edgar said passionately, "I never, ever would think you were mean like that, Sig. You are so good to me and…" I've been so horrible to you, doesn't matter what the reasons are now.

Edgar dropped his gaze and returned to staring at his feet but the real tears were coming fast. What have I done? How could I have done this to my brother? Why did I have to smoke? Stupidity was the only answer he could come up with.

Sig took another deep breath and rubbed his brother's hair. He could see the kid was starting to get upset and there was still something else he needed to discuss with him. How can I make him feel better about himself? Sig thought about it and came up with the same solution he did the last time they were both in this situation. Why does this seem to lead to me telling him an embarrassing story about myself? Well, let's get there then.

"Umm…I'm not trying to be a smart ass when I asked this but, honestly, did you think I was kidding…about the warning, I mean?" Sig asked the question in all seriousness. No surprise, Sig already knew the answer to the question.

Edgar pulled back his tears and ran his hands over his face, just once. Then remembered his brother's gesture about not going after his face and stopped. So he started rubbed his hands against the fabric of his jeans and told himself he was going to find a way to be as honest as possible.

"No, I knew you were serious when you said it." Edgar replied quietly, still looking at the floor.

"But you smoked anyway. Edgar, I'm scared to ask but I got to know. Why?" Sig asked, taking his brother's hand and holding it with his own left hand to stopping the furious rubbing of his jeans.

Sig held on to the hand where it was and gave it a little squeeze, encouraging the kid to tell him the truth.

"I don't know…I was nervous…they were in my pocket…it was too convenient…and I just wasn't thinking, I guess," was the only truthful explanation Edgar could come up with. He added, looking at Sig's hand holding his own, "You real mad about that?"

"No, Edgar. At first I was confused, like you thought I was laying out some kind of challenge, which I wasn't. I really believed the thought of the paddle would frighten you enough to stop. But that was stupid of me and I'll tell you why." Sig squeezed his brother's hand, looking for his own courage now. "Do you remember the mailbox incident?"

Edgar looked lost. "No."

"Oh, come on…you don't remember when I got my driver's permit the first time?" Sig asked in shock. The kid had to remember. It was a classic screw-up in the Hansen household.

Edgar searched his memory for something that would ring a bell. Nothing came. "When did this happen?"

"Oh, Gosh, I was fifteen. You were ten. It was the end of summer, I think. How can you not remember this?" Sig asked as lots of memories were coming back to him.

"Sig" Edgar explained in a quiet voice, "I was still going to summer camp when I was ten. Don't YOU remember?" Edgar couldn't believe Sig had forgotten the camp issue. Edgar hated camp because he felt like a baby, being sent away from home while his brothers got to stay and have fun with their friends.

"Oh, yeah…camp (Sig said the word slowly). You loved it there." Sig added sarcastically.

Edgar rolled his eyes and muttered, "You know I didn't -all those rich kids with parents that had desk jobs and who had no idea how to fix a damn thing or fish if their life depended on it. I hated it!"

"Well, then I guess you get to hear this story for the first time." Sig said with a wry smile, steeling his courage for yet another painful trip down memory lane.

"Can't wait!" Edgar said enthusiastically.

Sig rolled his eyes and pushed Edgar over with a shoulder bump. Edgar fell over onto the soft comforter. Sig just laughed and helped him back up, still holding on to his hand. Then he took a deep breath and started.

"I was fifteen and dad came home from Salmon fishing and took me to the DMV. I had studied all summer and passed the written test with one arm tied behind my back" Sig said proudly, raising his chin a little.

Then he dropped it into his chest. "On the way home, dad warned me that I was never allowed to take the car out by myself. That he or mom had to be with me at all times if I wanted to practice driving. And he finished his warning with 'If I find that you took that car out by yourself, I'll lick you something good.' Sig finished the last part with his best dad's voice impression. It was pretty spot on because Edgar shuttered a little just hearing it.

"Yeah," Sig said, returning to his normal voice, "he warned me, loud and clear. The very next day, I took the car out by myself."

Edgar gasped slightly.

Sig slapped his hand to his forehead and rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, classic stupid moment. But I thought I knew what I was doing. The keys were just hanging there for dad's car. Mom and dad had gone down the street to visit grand mom, because she was so sick…" Sig and Edgar grew quiet for a minute. Their mother's mother had passed away that very winter and they both still missed her a lot. She was like an older version of mom.

Sig took a breath and continued "… and since it was nice out, they walked. So I was home alone with car keys that were just calling to me, saying my name softly like some kind of religious chant. Who knows were Norman was…some girl's house, no doubt. Anyway, I figured I passed the written test so easily, I had it covered, right? Plus, I thought dad would never find out. Turns out, he kept track of the mileage on the car." Sig leaned in and whispered to his youngest brother, 'Remember that information for when you get your permit, ok? Learn from my mistakes."

Edgar nodded and thought I would have never been stupid enough to take the car in the first place…well…maybe just once…around the block…just to see what it felt like behind the wheel.

"I just wanted to go around the block, you know? Just to see what it felt like to be behind the wheel of the car." Sig explained and Edgar laughed on the inside. I am sooo like my oldest brother.

"Anyway, on the third time around the block, I knocked over the mailbox in front of our house. I almost shit my pants, Edgar. Truly." Sig nodded to his brother, confirming the truth. "It didn't damage the car at all and I just put it back in the garage as quickly as I could, hanging up the keys like nothing happened. By the time mom and dad came home, I managed to fix the mailbox as best I could."

Sig held onto his brother's hand and shared the following information for the first time with another living soul. "I wish I would have just told dad when he got home and not tried to cover it up because I would have saved myself from a sleepless night." Sig said sadly. He explained further, "I felt so freaking stupid. All I could think about was what if that had been a little kid standing there instead of our mailbox."

Sig detached his left hand from his brother's and started wringing his hands in front of him. He was speaking in a whisper now, "What if it had been you, Edgar, standing there? I couldn't live with myself if… God, I was totally not ready to drive and dad knew it. That's why he warned me not too. But, I didn't listen. I don't know why I didn't. The keys were there...it was too convenient and I just wasn't thinking. (Sig smiled at his brother - yeah, same reasons) Maybe there is some kind of defect in the teenage brain that makes us do this kind of stupid stuff. Either way, I felt so guilty about it, I was sick to my stomach all that night. It didn't help that I tried to cover it up, too. That only made it worse."

"But dad found out anyway?" Edgar said, guessing correctly where this story was going. Edgar ignored the thoughts of his own cover-up, telling himself it was ok because he wasn't covering up the truth to protect himself but to protect his brothers.

Sig exhaled deeply, "Of course he did. He knew when he got in the car the next day and the mileage was not where he left it. It didn't help that the mailbox was leaning over like a drunken fisherman on his first day back home from the fishing season. Seems just pushing it back in the hole was not an adequate job of fixing it."

I could have told you that, Sig. You have no idea how many times I've knocked the damn thing over with my bike. You might want to learn how to use a tool or two someday, big brother, Edgar thought to himself.

"Well, at breakfast, dad asked me point blank if I took the car. I was actually glad he did so I could tell him what happened. I couldn't go through another night like that. Mom hightailed it out of the house after breakfast, taking Norman along with her to the grocery store. Dad then asked me for my permit, which I handed over and he ripped it up right in front of me, saying I obviously wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility." Sig sighed quietly.

Edgar's shoulders slumped. His father had humiliated his oldest brother and it hurt Edgar just to hear about it. It must have been awful for Sig to watch that. But that was dad's way. He could be pretty effective but harsh at times. Edgar just whispered, "I'm sorry, Sig."

"Don't be. He was right, I wasn't ready." Sig explained with regret and then paused, remembering the memory of the shredded permit sitting on the kitchen table. A lot like the shredded paper sitting in mom's good mixing bowl on the kitchen table right now. Oh, the similarities were downright painful and Sig needed to stop thinking about it before he crawled under the bed and hid for the rest of his life.

Sig quickly brushed off that mental image and went on, "So, after that, he told me we were going to fix the mailbox together. He got the post hole digger and a shovel and we headed outside. He showed me how to fix it properly without saying hardly a word, other than 'hand me that' or 'are you watching?' The whole time we were out there, I was expecting him to lay into me about the warning he gave me and why I didn't listen but he never said a word about it. Dad just kept working and stayed quiet the whole time. There was a lot I wanted to say to him but it's hard with dad…you know how he is."

Edgar nodded silently. He knew exactly what Sig wanted to say to his father because the same words were hanging in his own throat at this very moment.

"So, we just finished fixing the mailbox and, when we were done, he told me to go clean up and wait for him in the kitchen. You can figure out the rest from there." Sig said with a slight flair of his hand.

"Was it very bad?" Edgar asked, his hand over his mouth.

"One of the worst. I'm sure dad had the same thoughts I did about it being a person instead of the mailbox." Sig turned to his brother and lifted his hand to Edgar's cheek, turning his face so that they were finally looking at each other. Sig began softly, "Dad has always been a man of his word. That's why he is so well-respected in this community. People around here look up to him, the old guys and even his competition. He may not say much but he always does what he says. Takes a lot to be that kind of man and I'm not even worthy to stand in his shadow but I'm trying my best."

Sig then put both hands on either side of his brother's face and pulled him close, touching his forehead with his own. They both closed their eyes and Sig said quietly, "So when I tell you I'm gonna spank with the paddle if you smoke again, I mean it. And when I tell you I'll protect you from anything and everything, I mean it. And when I tell you to never be afraid to tell or ask me anything, I mean it." Sig opened his eyes and pulled his head back, leaving his hands on his brother's face. Edgar opened his eyes as well so they were directly looking at each other, blue eyes to dark green. "And when I tell you that I love you, very much, I mean every word of it!" Sig finished, his voice starting to shake. He ran his thumb over Edgar's cheek and managed to smile a little.

Edgar swallowed hard, fighting back the tears because he wasn't going to let himself cry when he said, "Sig, I never meant to disrespect you. It was never my intention to disobey you. I wanted to listen but I honestly don't know how it all happened. I can only say that I'll try my best to never let it happen again. I disappointed you but I disappointed myself too…I'm sorry and I hope that you can forgive me." Edgar was actually apologizing for a lot more than his brother knew about.

Sig sat there, absolutely stunned. Those were the exact same words he longed to say to his father when they were fixing the mailbox. How did you know?

Edgar put his own hands up to his brother's stubbly face, touching both cheeks. He whispered, "I can tell you that. I can ask you that. And I'll tell YOU why. Because you may not think so, but, with all due respect to our father, you are twice the man he'll ever be."

Sig heard the words and initially wanted to argue, come to his father's defense but there wasn't time. He watched as his brother took his hands back and move Sig's hands from his face gently. Edgar got up from the bed and started taking his sneakers off. He removed his shoes and placed them neatly by his dresser. He turned and headed to the chair at his desk.

Sig stopped him on the way by, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him over to his right side. Edgar gave him a surprised look and then started to unbutton the button of his jeans before his brother. Sig stayed his hands with his own. Edgar looked at his brother with a confused expression.

Sig looked at him with his blue eyes and explained, "You think I'm twice the man as dad. Well, you, little brother, are becoming twice the man I am. I tried to cover up my mistakes. You told me truth from the start. That goes a long way in my book so there's no need to take those off." Sig said, referring to Edgar's jeans.

BUT I DID LIE! I LIED ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING! Edgar screamed in his head. Please don't show me this mercy when I don't deserve it. But there was nothing Edgar could do but stand there, staring at his brother's eyes, which held a certain amount of pride, pride he felt he didn't deserve. He couldn't look those eyes and the only source of recourse was to bend over his brother's lap and rest his head, chest and arms on the bed. Again, he folded his arms and buried his face in the nook of his left arm. Edgar was trying to hide the shame he felt from his brother and himself.

Sig wanted to talk some more, like maybe till the end of the summer, because he wasn't ready for this. He didn't expect Edgar to get into this position so quickly. I need more time. I'll never be ready for this. I hate this, I hate it, I hate it. I'm not going to cry. I'm gonna be tough enough for the both of us.

Edgar tried to get comfortable but there was something digging into his right rib so he slid away from his brother a little to get away from it.

Sig felt to motion, thinking his brother was afraid and he started rubbing his back gently. "You ok?" he whispered. Sig tried to pull Edgar closer to him but the kid wouldn't budge.

"Your car keys are in your pocket." Edgar tried to explain as he turned his face to the side facing the bed, not willing to look at his brother. I also don't feel like I deserve any comfort for this so please stop rubbing my back like that.

Sig thought for a second, No, my car keys are hanging on the hook in the kitchen. What is this kid talking about? Then he remembered what was in his pocket. Putting his right arm around his brother's back and side so he wouldn't slide down, Sig leaned back and dug his class ring out of his pocket. Edgar just lay still, assuming that Sig was taking his keys out so they wouldn't bother him.

Instead of hearing the jingling of keys hitting the floor, Edgar felt a cool, metal ring getting slipped onto his right index finger. "No biting," was the only explanation he got.

Edgar turned his head to look at the ring on his finger and then tucked his right hand under his neck slightly so he wouldn't be tempted. The ring's blue stone sat smoothly against his skin and he could feel the engraving with his thumb. He moved his left hand to grab ahold of the edge of the bed, hiding his face next to his left forearm and waited.

Sig returned to rubbing his back very gently. Edgar just wanted to get it over with but that wasn't Sig's way. I don't deserve the comfort but I need it. I'm so scared you'll stop loving me. So I'm gonna get it while I still can. "Sig?" Edgar asked quietly

"Yeah?"

Edgar whispered, "Can you put your arm around me?"

Sig promised himself he'd try to get through this without crying, at least until he was back in his own room. That promise lasted about two minutes because he felt the tears start to burn his eyes at that question. "Sure, kid" he coughed slightly, "Anything."

Sig put his arm around his brother and pulled him closer. Edgar snuggled against him the best he could, just gaining strength from the physical contact.

Edgar heard his brother's words - Never be afraid to ask me anything. He whispered in a shaky voice, "Will you stay with me, even after it's over?"

Sig leaned in and whispered in his brother's ear, "Always."

Edgar felt the tears start to burn his own eyes. "I'm sorry, so sorry, Sig." Edgar whispered tearfully and with such regret it hurt to hear. Sig could tell Edgar was getting upset again and he knew that he was no longer comforting his brother by hesitating. Still, Sig promised Edgar he'd always tell him what was going to happen before it happened.

"I know, kid." Sig sighed. "I'm gonna address the other stuff first, just my hand, ok? Not too bad, ok? I'll get you through it. Then we'll address the smoking. And then it's over." I promise, you'll be able to sleep tonight without worry about the guilt, kid. I won't let you make yourself sick over it.

"Yes, sir" Edgar choked out in a whisper, grasping harder around the edge of the bed.

The first swat fell hard and, despite the protection of the jeans, it took Edgar's breath away for just a second. Then he became firm in his resolve to take this punishment much better than the last time. He was planning on being stoic, quiet and respectful during the entire process.

~tbc