Sorry it took so long, guys! Here's chapter twenty-one! Hope you like it! Pretty sad, but I've already started chapter twenty-two, so…it probably won't be as long for the next chapter. Thanks again for all of the reviews and PMs, they're all greatly, greatly, greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy,

Oh, yes, Time has passed by quite swiftly, hasn't it, our dear Raito Yagami? That victory over Near was yet another lovely, golden trophy on your shelf of achievements. That foolish investigation team, filled with meaningless, stupid men. Their deaths were pitiful to Raito. Disgraceful; but their mere existence had irked him, so their pathetic slaughtering had not bothered him, truly.

Raito was walking through his home, followed by the ever present shinigami, Ryuk. The god of death was eating an apple as he followed the boy; Raito's entire family was gone. He had been forced to kill his parents for Kira's protection; the only living relative was his sister. She secretly knew, and nowadays, how she's older and all…she figured she had always known.

She had moved out in fear, thus leaving Raito to his lonesome. He was grateful that he didn't need to kill her, though. He didn't want to. He was walking through the kitchen when he stopped by the radio near his toaster and turned it on.

Kiss me, out by the bearded barley

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

You wear those shoes, and I will wear that dress

Oh, kiss me

Beneath the milky twilight

Lead me…

Raito looked to the radio and remembered a moment his father had shared, one night over dinner, remembering L. Revealing that L had played this song for them. It had been so long since he had purposely thought of L. Raito looked to the ceiling and thought of him. He remembered how L died in his arms, how his head fell back and left him an invisible, silent message between his parted lips. He remembered how he had cried all of those nights, how he had endured the pain…

He couldn't lose now…he wouldn't have ever fallen for Near's stupid trap. Not after killing L…he had destroyed everything that meant love to him. He would not kill off L to lose everything he had worked towards. He would avenge L by taking Justice into his control. That was the gift that L provided with his death. That thought triggered a rusty, old conversation and Raito asked absently,

"Hey…Ryuk…"

The shinigami had seated himself on the counter and replied, "Yeah?"

"…L…he is in Heaven, right?"

Ryuk snorted, "I told you, I shouldn't tell you those types of things."

Raito snapped around and snarled viciously, "Why not?! The only reason you wouldn't tell me something is if it would help me or if you were hiding something from me! So what the hell?! Is he okay?! I know he's okay…I-I just need to hear for certain…"

Ryuk looked away slyly, "If you know, I don't understand why you have to ask me."

Raito's face brightened as he chirped, "He is then!"

Ryuk laughed and replied, "I never said anything about that. I simply asked why you need 'me' to reassure you of what you believe is true."

Raito glared and simply turned his back to Ryuk, pouring himself a glass of water as the memorable chorus played on the radio. Raito then turned back to the god of death and asked absently, "Where was L brought up?"

"An orphanage." Ryuk responded softly

"Which one?"

"I dunno…Wommoh's for the smart or something." Ryuk muttered as he looked away; bored

Raito snorted from his throat in aggravation as he turned on his heal and went back to his room. He buzzed the computer back on and watched as the lights and colors formed ahead of him. He searched for "Wommoh's Orphanage" and Google provided a link asking, "Did you mean Wammy's Orphanage for the Gifted?"

He quickly clicked it and it lead him to a page telling him the old phone numbers, address and anything else anyone could possibly want to know. The orphanage, apparently, though had been shut down a long time ago. He decided he would take a look anyway. He couldn't decipher what made him so interested in seeing where L grew up, but the idea of being where L used to…it gave his heart a jump.

He rose from his seat once he had jotted down the address on a stray piece of paper and ran down stairs. He heard "Kiss Me" still playing from the kitchen and saw Ryuk coming towards him with a questioning look on his face. He finally flew over to Raito, floating by his shoulder and asked, "Where are we going?"

Raito smirked and replied, "I'm going to Wammy's Orphanage for the Gifted. It's where L grew up."

Ryuk cocked a purple eyebrow and ventured, "Why would you want to go there? You've already killed L…it's not as if you need any clues to his name."

Raito looked to the door knob and recalled feeling L through the wall. He remembered how he had been standing by the window, drinking his tea and how he felt as if L was with him. As if L was right there, standing by him…although he knew he was completely alone. He had been staring at the strange, unpredictable weather fogging his thick window. He had been so cold, feeling chills run down his spine every few moments, leaving tingles down his chest and legs; his eyes had been heavy, his sight felt mundane and bored.

All he had been able to think about was L. All he could do was imagine L's lips, his eyes, his dark messy hair, his silk, snow white skin…

"I…don't know…I just…"

Raito looked away from Ryuk as he finished, "I feel like…I thought I knew him…"

Raito didn't tell Ryuk truly what he felt in that moment. He thought he knew L. He thought he was the only one to ever know him. That L's heart belonged to him alone; to Raito and Light…for Kira had no use of it. Raito wanted so desperately to believe that L had loved him more than anyone, loved him and only him. He wanted to believe so perilously that L had never even considered such a thing as falling in love with anyone but him; that L was unaffected by other women or men, that L wanted to be Raito's only one and that he had wanted Raito to be his only one.

Raito then turned himself around and walked out the door, allowing the harmonies of "Kiss Me" to linger within the house, even as he was gone with Ryuk. He felt that if he turned it off…even while he was gone…that it was like locking L out. That it was pushing him away.

Raito walked down the streets, ignoring the giant, lurking shinigami as always. He passed the nameless people without second glances, feeling as cool and collected as he always did. He knew, though, that everyone around him panicked. They were all suffering, always questioning their unnatural paranoia and insomnia. He smiled, though, for he knew that power was in fear. He knew that Kira controlled each and every one of them with an iron fist.

Filling every innocent person with only more purity, and cleansing those who dare to oppose him. He took no pleasure or thrill in killing criminals as he used to. He used to be so entertained with the fact that L could not defeat him, but was such an honorable adversary, that on several occasions he had questioned himself. That was something Raito Yagami had never done before L came into his life.

Raito was never confused or ever second guessed himself before L. He had always been so sure; so sure of himself, of everyone and everything around him. He had never been apart from the certain reality that surrounded him until L. L created a world that was made of sweets, intellect, deduction and misleading impressions. He never prejudged incorrectly, he always spoke his mind when he thought it appropriate and he wasn't shameful…or so Raito thought.

L had no reason to shame himself.

Well…I can't know that for certain. He never told me anything of his past…

Raito looked down to his leather brown shoes striding across the grey, pebbled sidewalk. Kids were exiting schools and walking about, riding their bikes, catching buses. Raito did not observe them out of interest, but rather out of the mere desire to think of anything but the dead boy that still wove his heart in and out of his ambitions beyond the grave. He took a deep breath through his nose as he walked onto the bus by the corner and dropped some coins in their rightful slot.

He stepped into the isle and took the window seat of an empty bench. Ryuk was floating around the bus reading a newspaper along with a stranger that was unknowing of the god's presence. Raito rested his cheek in his palm as he leaned on his elbow, tiredly looking down to the meshed lines on the street. He closed his eyes as he remembered L…

"You're going to do it again?"

"If you won't break, I won't."

"Forgive me, then, Light-kun…"

"I'm nothing, I am not youthful at heart anymore, I don't think I ever was; I am not popular or well-liked and I am certainly not handsome. There are no endearing qualities of which belong to me that you would be attracted to, Light-kun. That is why it is improbable and most likely, impossible. I am not interested in romance; I never lied to you."

"If you so wish, Light-kun."

"Kira…wants me dead…very badly…"

"You don't think I'm human?"

"I am? I'm a good friend, Light-kun?"

"You have no right to call me L."

"I want you to call me L again."

…Raito opened his eyes. He glared at the miniscule particles of air before him, blaming them with his eyes. Setting them ablaze with his anger and despair, with the itch in his soul. The itch to hold him again, to touch him again, to hear him or see him one more time. If he could make one wish, he knew he wouldn't hesitate a moment to ask for L. To just see his eyes look to him again, sending him into a labyrinth of never-ending pools of black, or perhaps to just feel his hand run down his face, leaving in place of his finger's trails, indescribable laces of velvet sensation. To just hear his voice once more, whether it take on its graceless, awkward tone or spill percentages of accusation; if he could just taste his lips one more time, collect his delectable flavor and fall into his lanky but surprisingly warm arms.

"Don't touch me like that…you scared me."

"No…I'm sorry, Light-kun…I'm not good at being a friend. I know…I know I disappoint you when I do things like that."

"It is what I believe, Light-kun, and nothing can change what I am."

There was too much to remember. Too many glances across rooms, too many winds blowing through L's feathery hair, too many shocks of electricity within him at L's unexpected touch. There was too much to think of; all the syllables in the percentages, aliases, deductions, conclusions and hidden messages in L's dialogues, all of the ridiculous ambitions, expectations and unspoken evidence. There's too much that made his heart bleed and ache when he thought of L. He felt like his eyes should fill with tears, but they were so tired.

They were tired from collecting the momentum of the children on their bikes, and of the lines colliding on the streets. The image of the lines connecting on the ground made him wish he were dead. Dead, so that he could be with L. So that he could sense him, somewhere near by, if he existed at all. If he continued on to exist beyond this…

To keep him from torturing himself with more thoughts of how he ruined the rest of his empty days by killing L, he looked up to the small bulletin sign on the arch of the bus. It read,

"Next Stop: Fujisaka"

Raito sighed; one more stop to go. He looked to Ryuk, wanting to start a conversation, hoping that the immature demon would keep him busy from his painful thoughts of L, but recalled that if he talked to Ryuk he would look like he was talking to himself. He sighed heavily, and looked out the window again…

L…if you're going to leave, just leave…