Chapter 21

They arrived at the hotel in record time and quickly rushed inside before Jaxine began searching every room. She then closed the blinds and locked the windows and the door, tears stinging her eyes, not believing what had happened. The Undertaker was going to marry Stephanie McMahon, Vince's nineteen year old daughter? She felt sick to her stomach and immediately went to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her, and proceeded to release her stomach of the acid that had built up. She was trembling from head to toe as she gripped the toilet, her nails digging into the porcelain, knowing the truth. "That could've been me. That could've been me. That could've been me." She kept whispering to herself, the tears spilling down her cheeks before she vomited again.

Steve was tempted to follow her, but was fairly certain Jaxine wouldn't appreciate him seeing her hurling the contents of her stomach. When he heard a pause followed by more retching, he sighed, running a hand down his face, not believing what the Undertaker had done, was planning on doing. The man was completely and totally insane. Finally he knocked on the bathroom door. "Honey?" He called hesitantly.

Jaxine was staring in the mirror at her reflection, her hands gripping the counter, the ring reflecting off the lighting. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying, shaking her head slowly. This wasn't how it's supposed to be. This was her time to be happy with the man she loved. Still, the Undertaker was lingering in her mind and heart, she couldn't stop it either. She couldn't stop herself from wishing that it was her on that symbol, that it was her marrying him, that it was her surrendering herself completely. Was she insane? She was sick in the head that was for damn sure. Jaxine cried harder as she wiped her tears away before rinsing her mouth out, needing to stop this. She had a man who loved her, who wanted to protect her, who wanted to marry her. She had to stop loving the Undertaker because if she didn't he would ultimately destroy her.

"I'm okay, give me a minute." She softly called out through the door, needing a moment alone.

He walked away, shaking his head from side to side slowly and sat down on the edge of the bed, cupping his head in his hands. All he could think was: that could have been Jaxine. It could have been her on that damn symbol screaming for help, being forced into a marriage she didn't want. His entire body convulsed at the thought, refusing to ever allow that to happen.

A few minutes later, Jaxine walked out of the bathroom, looking completely drained in every way possible. "I'm going down to the vending machine for something to drink, do you want anything?" She asked quietly, seeing him shake his head and she nodded before walking out the door and down the hallway. He probably didn't even realize she'd left as she wrapped her arms around herself, her tears not stopping. How could a man be so evil and cruel, so heartless, and how could she love someone like that? "I need help." She muttered and raked a hand through her hair, arriving at the vending machines and put her change in, not even wiping away the tears that fell down her face. She was tired of doing it.

He was already there, having arrived at the hotel mere moments ago and had stopped at the vending machine for a bottle of either Coke or Pepsi for his Jack Daniels. He'd changed into street clothes, black jeans that clung to his legs and a white beater, his hair hanging loose over his shoulders and down his back. He turned, looking tired and just stared at her.

Jaxine didn't even realize who was there as her soda got stuck and started kicking it, the tears never stopping before pounding her fists against it, shoulders shaking as she pressed her forehead against the machine. She heard her soda fall and didn't care as she slowly hit the machine with her fists, the sobs racking through her body. Why couldn't she forget him? Why couldn't she be happy with Steve? Why did she feel like strangling Undertaker with her hands for wanting to marry another woman? Why was she feeling this way, knowing how sadistic and heartless he was? It didn't make any sense as she finally dropped her arms at her sides, feeling completely weak.

He seen the broken way she held herself and couldn't stop himself from pulling her into his arms, tilting her head up so he could look into those butterscotch orbs that haunted his dreams. Or nightmares, depending on how he felt at the time. He could see several emotions swirling in her haunted eyes, each one disappearing as a new one raised to take it's place. "Why do you cry?" He asked softly, reaching up with a large finger to wipe away her tears.

"Let me go." She whispered softly, her voice cracking as she shuddered against him, gripping his white beater in her hands, her forehead pressing against his chest. "Please, let me go." She couldn't fight him off at the moment, his smell intoxicating her, driving her senses. Those three words she was asking of him was something she both desired and found revolting at the same time as her tears soaked his beater. She didn't care and didn't release him, the sobs tearing through her body forcefully, ripping her apart, just like her heart.

He caught her hands in his, raising them to his chest. "No." He murmured green eyes intense as he stared down at her. Groaning he contradicted himself and gently pushed her away. "Go...your fiancée is waiting on you." He said flatly, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets head lowering, his black hair swinging forward to make a curtain that hid his face.

Jaxine knew she should've ran for her life at that moment, seeing he was battling with himself to both let her go and to keep her with him. She seen his hair in his face and reached her hand out brushing his hair away to stare into his tormented green eyes. It was the same torment that shined in her amber orbs, the same torment she was experiencing, feeling like she was being torn in two completely different directions. She gasped when he wrapped his huge hand around her wrist, yanking her against him, but she never broke eye contact, her tears slowly subsiding.

When she didn't do the smart thing and run for it, he had ignored his own advice to walk away and pulled her back. He would always pull her back because he knew she would never run. Deftly, he lowered his mouth to hers, capturing her lips in his in a passionate, demanding kiss, drawing her even tighter against him so they were pressed together completely.

The instant his lips touched hers, Jaxine's world spun on it's axel as she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her hands in his black tresses, getting lost in the moment. Steve was completely off her mind as she felt his warm body, his strength, everything about him was forcing Jaxine into submission and she couldn't stop it from happening. She couldn't stop loving him and it both killed and elated her at the same time. She melted against him, her breath completely stolen away and moaned softly when his tongue swiped across her lips, instantly parting them enough for him to taste her.

It was hard not being able to drag her back to his room and claim her in every way. Actually...he could do it and he knew she would let him. He could feel it in her kiss, the way her body clung to his, he simply knew. But… 'Taker broke the kiss, unwinding her hands from his neck and held her away from him. "You forget yourself." He said evenly, breathing through his parted lips, refusing to inhale her scent, knowing that would be more icing on a cake he couldn't eat.

Jaxine blinked as the passion haze lifted from her mind, her eyes going wide and touched her swollen lips with her fingertips, trembling. "What's wrong with me?" She whispered, finally tearing her eyes away from him, covering her mouth with her hand as the tears stung her eyes. "Steve..." She closed her eyes painfully and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling him release her, and knew if she looked back at him she would break completely down. "I hate you." She stated, her voice a little stronger, but her eyes opened and looked back at him. "But I also love you. How is that possible?" She sounded almost in disbelief, her heart pounding from that intense kiss they just shared. Was it possible to love and hate a person at the same time? How did she know how to balance it out?

"You hate me simply because you know that loving me is slowly killing you. Bittersweet, isn't it?" He taunted, folding his muscular, sleeved arms over his broad chest, dripping in both sexuality and danger. "Even after you marry him you'll always wonder if it wouldn't have been better with me. I will always be first in your mind even as you cling to him in hopes of forgetting me." He took a slow step towards her, his green eyes shining with indefinable emotions.

She knew he was right, no matter how much she wanted to deny it as she stood there. He could destroy her now; he could destroy her relationship with Steve because of that kiss, that moment of weakness. She just let the tears fall and looked down at her left hand, the ring sparkling back at her, and knew she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve Steve's love. She was trash and felt lower than dirt right now. "You said it yourself that you are heartless, cold and manipulative. How do you expect a marriage, or love for that matter, to be based on those principles?" She quietly asked, looking up into his green eyes. "You're getting your wish; I'm not going to marry Steve. I don't deserve him and I'm not good enough for him."

"I merely said you would wonder, not that I was offering." He corrected, an amused smirk flitting across his face. "So now you'll run from Austin...would you run from me if I were to ask for you?" 'Taker murmured, watching her closely. "If I were to tell you I loved you, wanted you with me always and forever, would you stay or would you run?"

"You're not capable of loving another human being, Undertaker." Her voice was like warm honey as she wiped her tears away, sniffling softly. "And I'm not running away from anything. I'm saving him from treacherous heartbreak." She believed that as the words came out of her mouth, her eyes never leaving his, wondering if he actually loved her or if it was just a possession.

Her words stung him, her first words. He hid it quickly. "Maybe you're right." He said softly. "Maybe I'm not capable of loving another. But you could teach me, Jaxine. You could teach me how to love." He reached out to place his hand against the side of her face, his green eyes unreadable.

"No." She slowly stepped back, shaking her head back and forth. "I tried; Undertaker and you just did everything in your power to make me believe that you really are cold, vindictive, manipulative and a downright monster. Congratulations on that. You would use my methods and my words against me, just like you did at the arena earlier tonight. I'm not falling into another one of your traps. You need to stay away from me and leave me alone." Her voice had grown a little stronger; though she was still very exhausted and knew she wouldn't be able to fight him off. "I meant what I said, let me go."

He contemplated both her and her words, wondering if she really believed he had enough will power to do that. True, he was a master of controlling himself. Everything he did, he did with perfect control. However, even a man such as he had his limitations. She was apparently ready to test them. "And if I don't?" He challenged evenly.

"Then I will fight you." She said it simply, so simple that it even shocked her momentarily. "I will fight you and if I go down, I'm not going alone." Jaxine raked a hand through her hair, the fatigue setting in and took a step back as she placed her hand against the snack vending machine to steady herself. "I don't care what my feelings for you are, I won't give into them. I won't surrender to you...ever. I won't give you what I hold most precious and that's my heart. You don't have it because I'm not relinquishing it."

"Fair enough." He said, turning his back on her and getting himself a Coke, stooping to retrieve it before glancing at her. "Have a good night, Jaxine." 'Taker walked away without looking back at her. If she could see his face, she would have seen a wicked smirk at odds with his sad green eyes.

Jaxine watched him walk away and knew she'd been gone way too long. She quickly headed back down the hallway, going her separate way and forced the pain in her heart to cease.