Bella's Journey

Chapter 21

Bella awoke slowly, the crackle of a fire stirring her senses to awaken. Opening her eyes, she gazed at a fire through blurry eyes. As she lay there, she thought about Thorin and their journey to Erebor. Slowly she had a new realization and felt a smile spread across her face. A slight creaking of a chair caused her look up and she saw Gandalf watching her as he smoked his pipe in a chair by the fire.

"How do you feel my dear?" He asked gently.

"Tired but fine, I think? Did we win?" she answered as the smile slipped away.

"After seeing their king fall the Dwarves seemed to fight with renewed strength. What really brought an end to the fighting was the arrival of the eagles. When the orc's saw them circling above they were greatly distracted and the dwarves were able to cut them down very quickly. What was left of the orc army was carried away by the eagles to be drop into some dark hole I am sure."

Gandalf seemed to be silently judging her response to hearing about the arrival of the gold eagles. Bella made sure to keep her face from showing nothing more than mild surprise to keep him guessing. While glad to hear that her idea to ask the eagles for aid had worked well she did not want the others to know she had helped them but then she realized she had not heard about her brothers or of Thorin yet.

"What of Thorin and the others did any of my brothers fall? Is Thorin still doing well?"

"No, none in our company fell and Thorin was crowned King of Erebor yesterday by his cousin Lord Dain of the Iron Hills." He replied while continuing to blow smoke rings into the air, while studying her intently.

"Yesterday Thorin was crowned? How long have I been asleep?" She looked about the room with new eyes and realized that the bed in which she slept had fresh clean linen. The room itself was Thorin's but it looked clean and free of any dust or neglect. Beside the fire on a small golden table was a tray with fresh bread and a gold goblet of red wine. Even Gandalf himself looked like he had gained a little weight and his robes looked cleaner.

"You have been asleep for four days and you will find much has changed. Dwarfs are hurrying back to their lost home. I fear Lord Dain will find most of his men may wish to remain here as well. Now that the dragon is dead and Thorin is on the throne, Erebor will once more be the richest kingdom in middle earth."

"I care not to hear about riches as long as everyone is alive and safe." Bella replied and fell back onto her soft pillow with a sigh, closing her eyes in relief. Finally, it was over, she thought to herself. No longer would she worry about Kili, Fili and Thorin dead from some battle against Orc.

"What now Bella?" asked Gandalf.

"Now life will go on." She replied while snuggling into a big soft pillow with another sigh. She wanted him to go away and to sleep some more before he asked her questions she was not ready to answer yet.

"I am planning to leave to travel to Orthanc and give a report to Saruman. The White Council needs to be told all that has happened here. I want you to come with me. I would also like you to be taught more in the ways of the Maiar. "

Bella pushed herself upright with a groan and looked at the seemingly unflappable wizard. "Why would I want to learn more about the Maiar? I have no desire to travel anywhere. In fact I am thinking about how I would be happy to never place a travelling cloak upon my shoulders again."

"You must learn the ways of Maiar; it is part of who you are."

She could feel the stirrings of anger within herself and sought to keep a firm grip on them.

"You know now that you are my daughter, you cannot bury a part of yourself. You have great power within you and you must learn how to control it."

"I am not your daughter. My father was Bungo Baggins, the hobbit that raised and loved me. As for learning more control over these gifts, Lady Galadriel has taught me enough. If I chose to learn more I will go to her."

Rising stiffly from the bed, she pulled a soft blue woolen blanket from the foot of the bed, and wrapped it around her shoulders. Intent of leaving the room and finding Thorin but his words stopped her retreat and caused her to sit back down on the edge of the bed.

"I think it is time I told you a little of what happened between me and your mother. I knew your mother for a very brief time. When I discovered that she was pregnant, we agreed that she could leave with you and her family and go to a safe place, if she agreed that you would learn more about the Maiar if you showed any promise of magic as you came of age. As time passed, I would visit but each time your mother would keep you from me and tell me how you showed no promise of being blessed with any gifts. Then one day you parents where gone and I found you sitting alone on a bench outside your home. I knew then that I had been deceived about your gifts. If one who knows the ways of magic and should only touch you, they would know that you hold great power within you. I believe that is why she hid you from me." She watched as he took another puff at his pipe before continuing. "My people are known as the Maiar and whether you choose to accept that side of yourself or not, you are half Maiar. The Maiar are more than conjuror's of cheap tricks. They are an ancient people who are well versed in knowledge and guiding others in the ways of knowledge and peace, without ruling them. I saw great possibilities in you when you guided Bard the Bowman to killing Smaug and there have been many more instances as the journey here progressed. Agree to come with me now and I will ensure you learn far more than you could learn from elves."

Bella wanted to say that learning more about magic did not appeal to her but it did; however, to live a life similar to Gandalf's held no appeal. She was more like her mother than he realized. Studying his face and she thought about her parents. She wished her mother was here to answer questions but all she had was Gandalf to provide her with answers from the past.

"You may have helped give me life but I refuse to call you father. As for your offer to leave here and go learn more in the ways of the Maiar, I am saying no. I may be half Maiar but I am also half Hobbit. I long for a warm kitchen to call my own and a fire in the hearth to warm my feet next to while I read or knit. I have no longing for another adventure."

Gandalf looked saddened at her refusal and added, "Thorin will make you his queen, and you might find the protection of Erebor chafing at times. What I offer will give you more freedom then most women will ever know."

"Bella made her decision a long time ago." Thorin stepped into the room quietly.

Bella turned and seeing Thorin standing in the doorway looking so alive and well caused her to run into his open arms.

"Thorin, how are you feeling?"

"I was going to ask you the same."

"I feel very well rested."

Bella enjoyed the feel of his strong arms holding her tight. Pulling back a little, she ran her hands over his face and arms. When she came to where the arrow had pierced his chest, she stopped and looked up into his eyes. He remained still, while she touched him.

"It doesn't hurt?"

"No. If anything when I awoke beside you on the bed, I felt like my youth had been restored a little."

"I almost lost you. I had to pour myself into you to bring you back." She replied. He was right she realized, he did look a little younger, the small grey steak he had in his hair was gone as was the small wrinkles around this eyes. He looked closer in age to Kili and Fili now.

"She not only healed you she extended your life by giving you a large piece of herself. Maiar live long in years." Gandalf told them with a deep frown on his face.

Bella turned to Gandalf, "I believe Lady Galadriel did something similar to me."

"No Lady Galadriel healed you and gave you only a small part of what she is blessed with. You did something rash and dangerous. It is a miracle that you did not die."

Bella tried to pull away from Thorin but felt the arms around her tighten briefly before allowing her to slip away. Looking up at Gandalf, she wished she could look him more in the eye, before replying. "You make it sound like I should have let him die."

"I am relieved to see that Thorin survived and has reclaimed his grandfather's throne but I never wanted you to be his queen or for you to risk your own life in saving his."

Bella could feel the tension and anger coming from Thorin even though they were not touching and knew that it would be best for everyone if Gandalf simply left.

"You have my answer. I will not be leaving with you. My place is here now with my new brothers and Thorin. I hope you will return one day and continue to be a friend to Thorin and myself but for now I think it would be best if you continued on your journey alone."

Gandalf studied both of them before nodding and leaving them.

After he had gone, Bella felt some of the tension in her leave. Seeing Thorin watching her silently, she smiled. "What?"

"You speak very well."

"I knew that if he did not leave soon that one of us would say something that would end any chance of a future friendship. After everything we have been through to get here, it would grieve me to think of us as enemies instead of friends. I just wish it wasn't so awkward between us."

"If Gandalf had persuaded you to leave with him I know I would never have been able to forgive him. I also would have followed and fought to keep you with me."

Seeing her blinding large smile spread across her face he stopped talking and asked again, "What?"

"You love me." She answered simply.

He growled back, "Dwarves do not love. I have a duty to you and my people. Do not ask me to become..."

Bella silenced him by placing her finger softly against his lips. "When I awakened I thought about you and me and came to realize something. You love me but do not call it love." When it looked like he was about to protest more, she continued. "You listen to me when I talk. You care about my opinions, ask for them. You miss me when I am not there and think about my needs before your own. You worry about me hurting myself and try to protect me from harm even if it means I might get angry with you because of it. You want to build a future with me that would include a family. Lastly, you like making me laugh and sharing time with me alone."

"Bella you will not turn me into some poetry spouting elf asking you to dance under the trees together." Thorin growled at her.

She laughed in response to his reply. "I am not asking you to and simply the idea of you spouting poetry and prancing about turns my stomach. I never asked you to change who you are. I simply need for you to be yourself and to tell me you love me."

"I will not allow you to make me soft and I will not be led around like some weak willed elf."

"I don't think anyone could ever mistake you for being soft or in any way elf like," She grinned up at his fierce frown.

"Well if caring about what you think and feel and wanting to share a future with you means I love you then yes I love you. Now will you agree to marry me freely?" He growled the question at her.

"Are you sure you still want to marry a Hobbit that is half Maiar."

"I care not who birthed or sired you. I will always want you beside me."

"Then yes, Thorin Oakenshield I will marry you freely. Were you going to marry me against my will if I said no?"

"Yes, but having you agree will speed things along nicely." He answered with a smug smile spreading across his face.

"I will warn you though. I am a Hobbit in my heart so sometimes I am going to want to do things differently than a dwarf would. I will not pretend to be something I am not."

She would have said more but he kissed her then and everything that she had been about to say seemed less important.