Kahlei collapsed onto her blankets, feeling the sharp ache in every muscle as she fell. Scourge had warned her the training would be intense, but she hadn't imagined it'd be this bad. Actually, she was surprised he was even letting her have a moment's rest. He seemed to forget that she didn't have the immortality that gave him superhuman endurance. Wait. Superhuman? More like super-sith.
As soon as her breathing was steady again, Scourge spoke. Obviously he thought that as long as she could breathe, she could continue training.
"Your forms are still," Scourge furrowed his eye ridges, apparently searching for the best word to describe them, "Sloppy."
Sitting up, Kahlei leaned against the wall that she'd built her makeshift bed next to. "My Ataru is perfect."
"Yes, your Ataru may almost rival my own." Kahlei beamed at his half-compliment, choosing to ignore the arrogance that dripped from his words. "But your Soresu is off balance. In Shien, you put too much focus on defence rather than offence. Your Juyo is worse than a fresh acolyte's-"
"That's hardly my fault. The Jedi frown upon Juyo and no instructors teach it. If you want to learn it, you've only got holocrons. Then the Masters would confiscate them if they found out."
Scourge wrinkled his nose in disgust, now also sat down. "The Jedi limit themselves. Juyo is an extremely useful form."
He did have a point. Juyo was not commonly used by Jedi as it was deemed far too aggressive for their teachings of peace and no emotion. Scourge had said that she was far too predictable in her movements and suggested that she practiced Juyo, which was more chaotic than Ataru. She preferred the graceful acrobatics of Ataru, but she did admit that a mix of the two would give her more versatility.
Although Scourge still insisted she was "sloppy", she already felt like she'd massively improved. Then again, Scourge would call anything less than perfect sloppy. And his idea of perfect was having equal to his own abilities. Kahlei smirked. He may have been unable to feel emotions, but his arrogance was certainly intact.
Aside from rectifying her "terrible" combat habits and beginning to explore the nature of the dark side, she hadn't really learnt anything new. Not that the past few days hadn't been incredibly useful, of course.
"You know, it'd be great to learn some dark side tricks."
The scowl on Scourge's made her laugh, although she imagined it'd give any force blind - and probably most force users - recurring nightmares. "The dark side is no trick, Jedi." Scourge paused for a moment, running his fingers over the metal bead on his face tendril as he thought. "Although force lightning would qualify for your idea of a 'trick'."
"Learning to use lightning sounds useful - unlike perfecting my already perfect forms."
Rolling his eyes at her snarky comment, Scourge lifted a huge slab of the crumbled statue - the one he'd broken days earlier when fighting (trying to kill) her - and placed it on top of a raised platform at the side. He gestured towards it. "That is to be your target."
Kahlei eyed her target. Maybe if she lifted her hands and cackled like she'd seen some Sith do, lightning would pop out. Although cackling madly at a rock would just be weird. She squeezed her hands open and close, hoping something would happen.
Scourge watched her for a moment and then sent a quick blast of lightning at it. Kahlei frowned. He'd done it so casually and made it look so easy.
"You're just showing off," she said. "You haven't even told me how to do it."
"It's easy, Jedi. Allow all of your anger flow through you and then into the target."
Kahlei narrowed her eyes, following Scourge's instructions. There was a small spark and Kahlei grinned in glee. But then it was gone. Frustrated, she tried again - the same thing happened.
"You're not using your emotions," Scourge said.
"Wanting to be angry doesn't just make me angry."
"No, you're repressing it. You have anger; your Jedi teachings are just preventing you from freeing it."
He was right about the angry part. She was still furious at the Council for lying to her and forcing her into a situation that ultimately ended with Kira's death. And if it hadn't ended with Kira's, it would have most likely ended with Scourge's. Although, she wasn't entirely sure if he was immortal to the point where he was invincible. Well, if he couldn't die, he'd have been condemned to eternal torture at the hands of Wrath. Which was even worse than death.
Thinking this, she felt her rage bubble. But it didn't boil. The previous times that she'd allowed it to take over, she'd been caught up in a fight - fearing for her life. Simply willing to be angry wasn't enough. Even when she could feel true rising, it wasn't wild. It wasn't raw emotion.
Kahlei sighed. "Isn't there another way? How do you do it? You can't even feel."She immediately regretted her bluntness. But fortunately, Scourge seemed unaffected by her words.
"I have had centuries of experience, but you have never cast lightning before. The only way for you to learn is through an emotional outburst. Once you know how to do it, then it will become much easier to use it whenever it is required."
So, somehow she was going to have to unleash her anger. Maybe it'd help if she reached out for Korriban's power whilst reflecting on her thoughts.
Like Scourge had shown her, she simply opened her mind to the darkness. As usual, it was brilliant, beautiful and bewildering. She felt it electrify every part of her body, increasing awareness as she ran through various scenarios.
If she'd agreed to the Council's demands, Scourge would have died. She had disobeyed them, and Kira had died. The only other alternative would have been if the Council had not had been so cowardly and had assisted her in stopping Wrath. Nobody would have got hurt. Sure, they'd have risked Coruscant. But countless civilians weren't as important.
Her breathing stopped for a moment, surprised and utterly horrified by what she'd just thought. She was turning into something ghastly. Kahlei shook her head. No, this wasn't her fault. The Council refused to protect her friends. This was their fault. Even if they had, they wouldn't have even been helpful. They were weak. They were supposedly powerful, but nearly all members were old and withered. The weight of a lightsaber in their hands would have likely caused them to crumble - much like the magnificent looking statue that had crumbled so easily under Scourge's power. And their teachings were just as weak. Maybe one day she'd reform the Order, creating teachings that were actually logical and a Council who weren't blind or stupid. Their ridiculous rules simply served to create frustration. Maybe the Council simply enjoyed asserting their power over others. It wouldn't have surprised her. They were hypocrites.
Kahlei glared at that rock again, with what felt like actual electricity surging through her body. When she lifted her hands, she hardly needed to think for this electricity to pulse out of her and into the rock. After the lightning had faded from its surface, half of it fell off where the crack had been formed. She did this again and again and again, until the rock was nothing but smouldering sand.
When she gazed down at her hands, she saw charred holes in her palms. Then the pain kicked in. Was that meant to happen? But Scourge mentioned nothing of it, so she decided that it was a first time thing.
She couldn't deny how exhilarating it had been to vent out her hatred on the rock. It had been power unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.
Scourge, too, was staring at the remains of the rock. "Had that been a person, then they would have been vaporised."
The thought of easily vaporising enemies was exciting. From being struck by force lightning in the past, she knew the excruciating pain it inflicted. And now, she would be able to deliver the same torment.
A large part of her consciousness was thrilled at the prospect, but an almost equal part was disgusted. In fear, Kahlei shut off the energy she'd been channelling from Korriban, leaving only what resided in her. She felt the darker side of her mind recede. The external power had freed and amplified it, to the point where it had almost had total control over her. She would have been lost in the wave of dark energy, her own consciousness having no power against it. She would have become a mindless servant of the dark side, only desiring for more and more power. Sure, it'd have made her even more powerful. But it would have rendered her from directing that power towards important causes - like protecting the people she cared about.
And it was at that moment that Kahlei realised the risk in her chosen path. The dark side tempted her to completely give up her own mind each time she used it. And each time, the whispers of power in her head were growing louder and louder. If she were to wield the dark side without becoming a hungering puppet, she would have to have an even greater strength of will. She would have to be able to switch the dark side on and off like a switch.
As it stood, she could use the light when not channelling the dark energy, preparing her mind to resist the temptation. That was how she'd blocked Korriban's energy out. She would use the light to switch the darkness off and her emotions to switch it on.
Scourge must have sensed the abrupt change in her, for his glowing eyes flickered to scrutinise her. "Why do you block it? The power here will strengthen your own."
"I don't want to lose control."
"You're limiting yourself," Scourge objected.
"But you always say that controlling it instead of letting it control you is important."
"But you're not controlling it. You're simply shutting it off, so that there's nothing to control. And my point is that if you allow it to control you in combat, then it can blind you and hasten your death. But you are not in combat, nor are your emotions particularly strong."
Kahlei just shrugged and returned to perching on her blankets, rubbing some healing salve into her burnt hands. Scourge sighed and let the matter drop, probably realising that she wasn't going to give in on this. They sat in silence for a few moments until Kahlei finished and screwed the lid of the pot back on. "Do you think what Wrath said was true?" she asked, rather randomly.
"Regarding what?"
"My parents. The Order always told me they were Jedi - and so did my parents when they discovered my force sensitivity. Why would they lie about it? Surely what Wrath said was wrong."
"Your Order are known for their lies and manipulation. They turn their warriors into mere puppets - and their warriors let them."
He still insisted that they were 'her' Order and it did irritate her. But Wrath's words bothered her more. "Why would my parents lie?"
"Perhaps they feared you'd become Sith. You said that the Council permanently blocked their connection to the force. Perhaps they refused to walk the path of the light and so the Council removed the threat."
"The Council only do that as a punishment for the worst crimes. If my parents turned on the Empire and worked with the Jedi, then yeah, I can see the Jedi offering redemption. But if they refused, they'd let them go and keep an eye on them."
"Unless they deemed them too dangerous because of their previous crimes," Scourge said. He paused. "I do recall a rather high-ranking Sith Lord requesting to complete my assignment herself. When I asked, she said she sought vengeance on those who'd killed her husband."
"I thought you got your orders straight from the Emperor? How did she know what you were doing?"
"I built myself a fearsome reputation in the time I served the Emperor." Kahlei could hear the pride in his voice. "I was well-known and avoided - even by those on the Dark Council. Many Sith knew I acted as the Emperor's Executioner - that's why they feared me. It is likely that she simply assumed that I would be the one to deal with the two Sith that had hindered the Emperor's plans."
"Two Sith?" Kahlei frowned. It was seeming more and more probable that Wrath had been honest. "What were their names?"
"Lord Sicaron and Lord Malyssa."
Kahlei shook her head. Her parents' names had been far plainer than those. But if they had been hiding their new lives from the Empire, then it wouldn't be absurd for them to have changed their names.
There was no way to know if those Sith had been her parents. Whilst it was starting to seem likely, there was nobody to confirm it. Well, the Council would have known. But they wouldn't tell her now. And if those Sith were her parents, they'd kept it from her on purpose.
"All they told me was that a Sith had killed them. They were defenceless; it was slaughter," Kahlei said. "I hated you Sith. I swore to my Masters that I would exterminate you all. Not that they were pleased."
She could see the muscles round Scourge's eyes twitch, but he didn't display any form of hostility at her words. "What changed?"
"I grew up, realised that vengeance was wrong and that it wouldn't bring them back. Although, I still thought you were all monsters until I met Praven. It was then that I realised you're still people - for the most part - and still have light inside-"
"You will find no light inside me, Jedi."
"Oh, but I've already sensed it."
Scourge gave her a dark look, as if proving just how much of a 'big bad' Sith he was. Kahlei just laughed. Her words had been a lie, but an opportunity to tease the Sith was too much fun to pass on. She suspected the ritual the Emperor had performed on him had turned his aura into a dark void. If the curse was lifted, Kahlei was fairly certain there'd be a faint sliver of light there.
Not that the light was strong. From her recent experiences, it was nothing compared to the dark side. But it gave control, focus and good intentions. And she believed that if she tempered the dark side with some typical light side qualities, she'd be even stronger.