We reached the next town, a middling sized place called Dorster, three days after setting out with Coulter's unresponsive body. That he was continuously locked within himself for all that time concerned me to no end, and were it not for Blaide urging me to eat, drink and keep moving, I likely would still have been sitting underneath the trees, engaged in a fruitless quest to use my magic to aid him. As it was, I spent every spare moment we'd had on the road trying to unlock his mind but all to no avail.
When we had reached Dorster, Blaide had immediately caused more of a ruckus than I had ever thought him capable of doing. We had barely crossed the borders of the town before he was calling for young boys in the street to show him to the nearest inn and to send for whatever passed for a doctor straightaway. A few flashes of copper and silver were enough to see these things obtained swiftly.
But all the gold in the world didn't seem to be enough to find a cure for Coult. Doctor Dahl, when he came, was a surprisingly competent young man. He examined Coult, asked questions about what had happened, and betrayed not a flash of surprise when we admitted that magic had been involved somehow. In the end, though, the doctor's prodding was fruitless and he gave up regretfully, refusing to charge a fee and assuring us that he would be looking into a few other avenues he could think of. In the meantime, we were to exercise Coult's limbs and move him so that he did not get bed sores. With these things added to the already long list of other things we did to care for him, it became apparent that we would have to switch shifts of caring for him.
Of course, there were several things that Blaide handled on his own in order to spare both Coult and myself potential embarrassment around each other when he was aware again.
We had been holed up in the inn for about a week before Blaide ordered me to take a break from sitting in the room with Coult at all hours. "You look worse than he does, Aeri. You need to relax and give yourself a break from trying to help him."
"But-" I had started to argue.
Blaide preempted me with a swift but gentle hand over my mouth. "But, nothing. If you get sick I'll be on my own trying to care for both of you at once."
So I found myself aimlessly wandering the tidy streets of Dorster, with errands in mind but also with Blaide's final injunction against me to not come back until evening. With several hours to waste and no real clear idea of how to do so, I let my feet carry me where they would and tried to muster more than a passing interest in the various shops and people around me.
Nothing could catch my eye for more than a minute however, and I had nearly canvassed the entire small town before I happened upon a small stone building with a wooden sign hung from over the doorway that proclaimed it to be a library. Impressed that a place as small as Dorster could even boast a library, I went inside.
It was cool and somewhat dim inside the building and very quiet. I made my way in cautiously, not wishing to attract any attention. There were two other people within sight, a man and a woman, each with their heads bent over separate books which were laid out upon a sort of table. It was really more of a wide shelf set into the wall and there were no chairs. The whole contrivance was of a good height for the average person to be able to lean against it and read something.
Stepping lightly through the rows of shelves, I smiled sadly as I recalled the last time I had been in the Cathedral's small library. I had been in my shadow form, as was my wont, trying to avoid afternoon lessons as we had been working on a particularly onerous set of tasks. Coult had come looking for me and I had tried not to appear to be too guilty. He had laughed and offered me a break from lessons on the conditions that I try extra hard tomorrow and spend this afternoon in some profitable way, such as helping in the kitchens. What he had meant was that he wanted me to make my stew, which had become a favorite dish of all the inhabitants of the Cathedral after I had made it the first time.
I was so lost in the memory that I didn't even hear the footsteps of someone approaching until they had rounded the corner and gasped at the sight of me. Startled, I looked down and realized that I had inadvertently slipped into my shadow form. Dropping it like a well-used cloak, I attempted to smile engagingly at the young girl who was regarding me with even wider eyes now that I looked more normal.
I opened to my mouth to apologize for startling her, but she chose that moment to whip around and disappear to the other side of the shelf, where I could soon hear her whispering urgently to someone about the "dark lady over there."
Hoping that the inhabitants of Dorster were all willing to be as casual about magic as the young doctor had been, I summoned up my most non-threatening smile and poked my head around the corner. A woman a few years older than I was crouched next to the little girl, listening to her words about how I had been so dark.
I cleared my throat quietly and she looked up. I had an impression of intelligent brown eyes and a look of amusement before she surged upward to stand and regard me frankly.
"I'm sorry if I scared your daughter," I said immediately, keeping my voice soft as the confines of the library demanded. The little girl clung to her mother's skirt, eyeing me suspiciously. I guessed she was about five or six. "I was lost in thought just now and I must have looked very strange."
The woman tilted her head in a vaguely puzzled way and looked me over carefully. "I suspect she was just seeing things," the woman started.
"No," I interrupted gently. "I was darkened, like a shadow."
The woman's eyes narrowed, but not in a hostile way. She was merely considering the information. After a brief moment, she gave a decisive nod. "You would be the ones who have a man injured by magic with you. Staying at the inn."
I knew enough of small towns to not be too surprised that we were generally known, although I did feel a surge of irritation towards the doctor for disclosing details about Coult that weren't his to share. I tried to keep it off my face as I nodded in confirmation that we did meet that description.
The other woman's eyes softened and she put a hand on my arm in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry. That was so rude. And I wouldn't want you thinking that Dahl is loose-lipped. I'm his wife, Marin, and this is our daughter, Lily."
So. The doctor's wife. I smiled apologetically for having assumed the worst and she wore a similar expression. "I see," I said, and then stopped, unsure what else to add to it.
Marin also seemed to hesitate and into the silence between us, Lily's small voice came wafting plaintively up to my ears. "Will she do it again, Mommy?"
Marin smiled, glancing down at her daughter who had found some boldness during our exchange and was now eyeing me with frank curiosity. "I don't think so, darling," she said.
Wanting to amuse the child, I flickered back into my Shadow form and grinned down at the look of wonder on the girl's face. Her eyes, brown like her mother's, shone in delight and she very nearly squealed aloud.
Marin, however, looked strained at the display so I shifted back and sought to end the conversation. "I should go," I said. "I have errands to run and then I should get back to the inn."
"I hope your friend recovers soon," she replied, and any hint of distress was not now evident in her voice or face.
Smiling cheerfully at Lily, I gave her a little wave and said my farewells. The little girl looked almost as though she might object to my going, but obviously was holding herself back. She had clearly been trained quite rigorously in manners and behavior. I was certain I was never so good as a child.
As I left the library and took back to wandering the streets, it suddenly occurred to me to wonder whether I might ever have a daughter. I had honestly never thought of it before, not even when Jyl had announced her pregnancy. But now, against my will, my mind conjured up a version of myself holding a baby that was obviously mine and Coult's.
Heaving a sigh, I pushed the thought away. It would never happen. Maybe if I could get over Coult, maybe if I was less emotional and more logical. What kind of halfwit kept pining after a man who held her at arm's length and spoke to her with frosty politeness or seething disdain?
Suddenly finding the need to finish what I had set out to do, I made my way to the tailor's I had seen a few streets over, commissioned a cloak (taking far longer to choose fabrics and length than I had ever done before), paid half for it up front and headed to the market to purchase food supplies. The inn's fare was limited and both Blaide and I had found ourselves craving not only variety but also vegetables that weren't cooked into mushy pulps.
These things completed, I took one last deep breath, squared my shoulders and headed back to the inn.
Two days later, I was pacing the floor in our shared room. Blaide was sitting next to the window, his chair balanced on the back two legs as he leaned against the wall.
"We have to make a decision," he said.
"I know," I snapped back. It wasn't the first time he had said that today.
There had been no improvement in Coult's condition. If anything, he had worsened slightly in overall health. I reached the wall, turned sharply and started back across the room. My eyes rested anxiously on Coult's still form, as though I could finally achieve a full restoration of his health simply by wishing hard enough.
Five steps, another wall, turn and walk back.
Blaide sighed and I heard the sound of his chair's front legs thumping to the floor. "I'm going to go get something to eat," he stated. "I know better than to ask if you want anything so just try to make up your mind about things and we'll talk when I get back."
Even as distracted as I was, I could not fail to hear the faint edge in Blaide's voice. He was losing patience with the situation; action was needed, but it was too difficult to guess what might be the best thing to do.
Blaide left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Released from his gaze, I did as I always did and went to Coult's side. He was lying as still and as quietly as he had been since we had put him in this bed. His eyes stared emptily at the ceiling and I had the sudden urge to cover up that naked gaze. Placing my hand lightly over his eyes, I closed my own eyes and tried again to throw all the force of my will and my magic at unlocking his mind.
Sinking into the effort, I became less and less aware of my surroundings, until it seemed likely that I would get lost in this awful blankness that enveloped Coult. I could feel it sucking me in and I struggled faintly against it. Someone said, "You might see him if you are lost with him."
But there was no one. Only me.
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a voice from faraway calling my name. I struggled to understand what was happening. Who was I? Where was I? Who was calling to me and why…. Why did this seem so familiar?
I came back to myself in a rush and my sluggish thoughts caught up with me. I was prone on the bed next to Coult. My eyes focused on the dark lines of the tattoo Coult had on his shoulder, a circle with some sort of runic symbol caught in its middle. Blaide and I had wondered what it meant.
Blaide's voice was in my ear, loud and bordering on frantic, calling my name.
"Aeri! Aeri! Wake up! Can you hear me?"
I realized he had been calling me for some time. His hand was on my shoulder, shaking me.
"Blaide," I said, "I'm back."
He let me go and I pushed myself up, feeling rubbery.
"What just happened?" he asked, quiet now.
"I'm not sure," I admitted, frowning. "I was trying to use my magic again and, I just sort of got lost. He's in there somewhere, but there's too much blank space." My eyes met Blaide's and I could feel them prickling with tears. "I can't help him, Blaide."
With that admission, the tears spilled over and I was sobbing. Blaide immediately gathered me close in an embrace and I rested my head on his shoulder as he gently stroked my back. After a few minutes, I had cried enough to create a damp patch on the linen of his shirt and I knew that I had to pull myself together.
Not moving from the comfort of Blaide's arms, I took several deep breaths. "I'm sorry," I muttered into his neck.
He chuckled quietly in reply and we stood that way for several more long moments. As I took another deep breath, I was struck by Blaide's smell. It was like clover and sunshine.
"You smell good," I blurted without thinking.
Blaide paused before replying. "I'm not sure if I should say thank you or be offended that you sound so surprised."
Suddenly I was laughing and we broke apart.
After savoring the moment briefly, I returned to the matter at hand. "I think it will have to be Stormwind."
Blaide nodded. We had been reviewing our options all day – wait, hope for something from the doctor, or return to Stormwind to attempt to obtain help from Lady Anuriel.
"I'll leave tomorrow morning," Blaide said. "You're sure you'll be fine here?"
It was my turn to nod. "I'll check with Dahl, see if he knows someone who can help. We have gold enough to pay for someone's assistance."
"Don't flaunt that fact around too much," Blaide cautioned.
"I know," I returned and couldn't help but roll my eyes. Some things never changed and Blaide's paranoia about strangers certainly fell into that category. Of course, a review of our misadventures thus far made me suspect that he was correct.
"Now prove to me I'm not going to have to spend the whole time away worrying about whether or not you're taking care of yourself and go get something to eat," Blaide said, reaching out and tugging lightly on a wayward black curl. "Although you might want to tidy up before going down. You look frightful."
Smiling, simply because it felt so good to do so after the days of building tension, I nevertheless stuck my tongue out at Blaide before doing as he suggested.
Several minutes later, as I hurried to eat the inn's nightly dinner fare, it occurred to me that I had scarcely bothered to think about the reason for this entire mad adventure in some time. Wondering at how easily I could forget about Cennerun, or how quickly I could forget my pain of losing him for the pain that Coult dealt me with his indifference, I flushed in shame.
"I just need to stop loving him," I muttered to my bowl of soup. And even I was not quite certain which man I was talking about.
Author's note: what is this I don't even
Yeah... not best pleased with this chapter but here it is. On the plus side, I found Coult, guys! He's nommy. Check out my profile for the link. I do want to disclaim something though. I don't watch TV so I'm usually a few years behind on shows (watch a few on DVD, just too cheap for cable) and people everyone else already knows about. I had heard Man Men mentioned before, but never looked into it or saw any of the actors. So you all probably know who Jon Hamm is, but he was not anyone I was aware of until yesterday. I will say that all the other pictures I saw of him (turned up with a quick Google image search) do not really capture him in a way that makes me think of Coult. But the one from gofugyourself, where his hair is a bit longer and more unruly, fits my mental picture pretty well. Of course, Coult's eyes are dark and his hair is longer but typically clubbed back. Mr. Hamm does have some pretty nice smile lines though, and I had to confirm that before deciding to share the picture. How does my Coult look compared to how you thought he looked? And, hmm, does this mean I need to look for Aeri and Blaide also? Let me know.