I know this is late last week was sooo busy but updates are back on schedule except for Secret Romance will not be updated tomorrow because I work all day then come home just in time to watch the grad episode and then I'll probably be ranting about it to tomfeltonlover1991. However Secret Romance will be updated on Saturday.
Ch. 21 I Want to be Where You Are
(FITZ)
Clare started thrashing in my arms and woke me up, my eyes shooting open, my arms like instinctively holding her tighter. She was whimpering, crying and begging someone to stop. She was having a nightmare obviously about Jay of course even though she wasn't saying his name it wasn't too hard to deduce or whatever.
"Clare it's okay I've got you, he isn't here it's just me." I tell her in a loud but soft voice.
She's still thrashing so I kiss her forehead, she gasps, her eyes open, she looks at my face in the dim light of the apartment and then she like breaks into a flood of tears. Her forehead and hands are resting against my chest, she's sobbing so hard or whatever that her body is shaking and I hold her tighter. Her fingers like try to grip at my bare chest as I start rubbing her back and try to soothe her but she continues sobbing for several minutes.
"He's not going to touch you, not here, not ever again if I can help it." I assure her.
"If he finds out about you, about us he'll kill us both." She sobs.
Nothing I can say to her is going to make her feel better, if I tell her to break up with him she's going to tell me that'll make things worse. If I tell her to go to the cops she'll tell me that'll only make Jay angry. So I don't say anything simply tip her chin up to look at me and place my lips on hers kissing her softly. Her lips take mine deepening the kiss, her lips are salty from her tears but she parts them and her tongue is sweet.
"We'll get through this together," I assure her. "We have the day off can you get back to sleep?" I ask her.
She looks at the clock on the nightstand and sighs with slight annoyance resting her head on my chest again.
"No, I'm wide awake now you can go back to sleep." She tells me.
"I'm not leaving you, not even to go back to sleep while you lie awake and worry about Jay or whatever." I tell her.
"I'm sorry it's our day off and I still woke us up at 3:30." She apologizes softly into my chest.
"I don't care, I'm with you everything is great. Come on let's take a shower and I'll make us some breakfast." I insist getting off the bed and pulling her up with me. We go into the washroom, I turn on the light and we both squint, the harsh light hurting our eyes when contrasted with the dark apartment. "Hang on I have better idea," I say turning out the light again and leaving her in the washroom.
Going to the everything drawer in the kitchen I grab a lighter and two large round candles. I have to like feel around in the drawer to find them in the dark but I do. Returning to the washroom I set one candle on the back of the toilet and one on the sink then light them both. The washroom is pretty small so the two candles light it pretty well, well enough that we can see but the light is soft and doesn't hurt our eyes or whatever. When I set the lighter down Clare snakes her arms around my neck and catches my lips. Her lips part right away allowing my tongue in, she stands on her tiptoes and presses herself to me, my shirt currently covering her body lifts up a little.
"I love you Mark," she says softly when her lips leave mine.
"I love you Clare," I smile letting go of her just enough to turn on the water so it can start getting warm.
Pulling my shirt over her head I drop it to the floor and marvel at this goddess bathed in candlelight in front of me. She takes off her panties kicking them away and bites her lip shyly. The washroom begins to fill with steam so I take off my boxers, check the temperature of the water and step in taking Clare's hand and helping her in after me. After wetting my hair I switch places with her so she can do the same and hand her the shampoo when I'm done with it.
"We should probably get you shampoo and stuff to keep here." I remark after rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and while watching her do the same.
"Probably and I should keep clothes here. When I don't have to be at Jay's to keep him happy I want to be here and during the summer Mom should be okay with it. Well I won't tell her I'm sleeping here of course but Adam's or Jenna's maybe even Bianca's." Clare replies.
I smile actually I probably like grin really stupidly but I'm just so amazed she wants to spend time with me, that she wants to be here in my crappy apartment because I'm here. We finish showering and I manage to keep my hands off of her, mostly, but she doesn't seem to mind when I do touch her. Not having any other clothes here she dresses in the same clothes as yesterday and I put on clean boxers and a pair of jeans. I give her the remote to find something on TV and I go to the kitchen and start making us pancakes for breakfast.
"So what would you like to do today gorgeous?" I ask her as I hand her a plate of pancakes and cup of coffee.
"I should help you study; we didn't get much done yesterday or this weekend." She replies as I return to the kitchen to get my own pancakes and coffee.
"Okay we'll study but we take breaks and during lunch we'll go to Adam's so you can visit him and your other friends." I tell her as I sit on the bed with her.
She smiles then kisses me on the cheek, her lips are sticky with maple syrup but I don't care. We eat in silence and watch TV for a while longer as I hold her on the bed. She doesn't talk about her nightmare and I don't want to bring it up. When the sun begins to come up we decide it's time to study and I grab a book handing it to her. Grabbing some pillows I lie at the end of the bed with my feet at the head so I can't see the book and she starts reading to me. I try and concentrate, I really do try and listen as she talks about chemistry but I'm too like mesmerized by how her mouth forms words, how beautifully her lips and tongue roll and curve around each word or whatever. Watching her mouth leads me to think of other things and my hand, completely by like it's self I swear, starts caressing her leg. My fingers slowly make their way up her leg and I sit up so I can go farther making their way to the inner thigh of her jeans and she giggles.
"Mark pay attention!" She scolds me.
"I'm trying but how can I be expected to concentrate when I have a goddess sitting before me looking so hot and sexy." I argue.
"If you can't concentrate with me helping you I can always call Owen and Drew to have them come over and help you study. I'd say Bianca but you'd probably be distracted by her sexiness too." Clare says.
"Bianca's hot but not nearly as hot as you, besides I've known Bianca forever she's like a sister." I say.
"Okay I'll make you a deal, if you can concentrate and answer ten questions right then we'll spend five minutes making out but you have to get ten questions right." She stipulates.
"Okay deal ask away." I grin getting anxious to have my hands on her.
She asks me 14 questions before I get ten right but the second she tells me I got the tenth one right I pull the book from her hands and drop it to the floor. I pounce on her, catching her lips with mine. My lips working hers with fervor, my mind caught up in her sweet scent I like forget for a moment and press into her a little too hard and she whimpers.
"Ow," she says in a small voice.
"Sorry are you okay?" I ask sitting up and pulling her shirt up to like look at the bruises on her ribs and stomach.
"Fine, they're getting better at least they're not all blue and purple anymore." She says with a small smile.
I don't reply because I don't want to fight and the urge to like kill Jay is almost overwhelming, so I decide to distract myself and very gently begin kissing her bruises. Her nails begin raking through my hair, after kissing the bruises on her ribs I kiss the one's on her tummy while I start fidgeting with the button on her jeans.
"Mark you need study," she giggles.
"I'd rather study you; can't we switch to like biology or whatever so I can study the human body?" I request.
"Anatomy Mark and it's not on the test," she tells me.
"Lets study it anyway," I insists kissing her stomach again.
"Mark you have to study and I'm not on the test," she scolds me.
"But I have like a month, Simpson said I had to take it by August 15th or whatever and it's only the end of June." I say in a slightly whining tone.
"Mark concentrate okay if you can answer five questions right in a row then I'll take off a piece of clothing. If you get twenty questions right in a row I'll be naked and then we'll take a break to make love." She entices me.
"Okay I'll pay attention but I will get you naked," I tell her and she giggles.
I get the first five answers right and her shirt comes off but then I miss two before getting another five right and her jeans come off. She's like practically naked now and I want to just give up and kiss her and touch her or whatever but she keeps kicking my hand away. I have to like close my eyes to not see her or whatever or I won't be able to think. I get the next five right and I hear her take her bra off but I don't open my eyes because if I like look I'll want to touch. I still lose my concentration because she asks me a bunch more questions before I get five more in a row right but when I do I open my eyes and watch her panties come off.
I smile at her, my eyes going over her curves as I stand up to get my jeans and boxers off. Getting between her legs she puts her arms around my neck and our lips meet as my hand grazes up her thigh. I can already like feel the warmth of her body heating my hand, her soft pussy lips open at my command and I slide my finger in. She exhales into the kiss, arching her back and tightening her arms around me as I use my fingers to open her a little so I don't hurt her. Her eyes open and lock with mine as I withdraw my fingers; she's only empty for a second before I slowly thrust into her. She breaks from the kiss to moan and bite her lip, her back arching even farther. I support my weight on my hands so I'm careful not to like hurt her at all or even like brush over one of her bruises.
God she feels like so amazing, like soft everywhere and so touchable or whatever. After a couple of minutes of slow thrusting I speed up just a little. I'm afraid to hurt her, to hurt her at all because Jay hurts her so much and I'm afraid to cause her any more pain even if it's unintentional. Her hips start moving, matching my rhythm and going even faster so I know she wants me to move faster. I speed up a little and she moans, her body trembling a bit. My lips desiring to kiss her steamy flesh and I begin kissing her neck, jaw, chest and breasts. Her hands clutch at my back, her eyes are half lidded but every so often she opens them to look in mine. Her thighs clench, her insides tighten around me and I know she's ready and so am I.
"Mmmmark! Ohhhhh!" She screams into the apartment.
"Fuuuuuuck Clare mmmmmmm Claaaaaaaaaare!"
Slowing down until we're both done I pull out of her slowly and she whimpers. I lie next to her, taking her in my arms and kissing her cheeks as we both pant and shake gently.
"That was a fun study break," I grin getting up to get us some water after several minutes.
"Yeah well as soon as I can sit up it's back to studying," she tells me as I grab two water bottles from the fridge.
"God you're a slave driver," I tease her as I sit on the bed again, "but I love you." I smile pressing my lips to hers.
"I love you too Mark," she smiles taking her water bottle and a big sip. "Now please find me my clothes so we can get back to studying." She commands.
I grumble a little about her covering up again but hand her clothes to her and help her get dressed anyway. I get my boxers and jeans back on, lying on the bed in the opposite direction of her and she starts reading again.
"So what do I get on my next study break?" I ask after she asks me a question.
She responds to this by throwing a pillow at me, which I catch put behind her again so she's comfortable and take her lips once more.
(CLARE)
After covering the bruise on my face with makeup I went back to my room where Fitz was waiting. I'd helped him study for another three hours with a few more study breaks but no more sexy time. When it was nearing lunch time Fitz said we should go to Adam's so that I could see him and visit. Of course I wanted to see Adam and my other friends but I told Fitz we had to stop at my house so I could change and cover any visible bruises with makeup.
"There's a duffel bag in the hall closet can you grab it for me?" I ask Fitz when I get into my bedroom again.
"You trying to run away from me or something?" Fitz teases as he gets up from my bed.
I twist my mouth at him for this remark. "I'm trying to run to you, I want to pack some clothes and stuff to keep at your place." I tell him.
"So you're moving in then even better," Fitz grins cupping my chin and kissing me gently.
He goes to the closet and gets down the duffel bag putting it on my bed for me. I put in several pairs of panties, a bra, a few pairs of socks, a pair of jeans, 3 pairs of shorts, two skirts, two dresses and several tops. I don't put in pajamas because I like wearing Fitz's shirts but I do put in one pair of sneakers and one pair of nicer shoes so I'll be prepared for anything. I can get work t-shirts from work so I don't have to worry about that. The last thing I do is go into the washroom; mom stockpiles toiletries when they're on sale so I grab a few to keep at Fitz's place putting them all in the duffel. Fitz zips it up for me and carries it out to his car placing it in the backseat. We get in and he starts driving to Adam's while I check my makeup in the mirror.
"You can't see them stop worrying," Fitz assures me.
"Sorry I'm just paranoid now." I tell him.
"Gee I wonder why?" Fitz says sarcastically and I shoot him a look.
He takes my hand and kisses it, holding it the rest of the way to Adam's. When we get to the basement door we see that it's a full house today. The Torres basement was always a good place to hang out but since Adam got shot it's become the summer hang out for anyone that's even remotely friends with Adam. Fitz opens the door and we go in, everyone looking over and greeting us. Owen and Drew are sitting on one end of the sofa and Fitz sits with them. I hug Adam and sit down next to him, Eli getting up so I can do so. After a short time of sitting silently while listening to several conversations Bianca motions for me to follow her so I get up and follow her to the corner near the stairs, we stand with our backs to the others.
"How are you feeling?" Bianca asks me in nearly a whisper.
I'm betting she's referring to the fact that I'm pregnant as she's the only one that knows besides Jay. "Fine, I haven't been nauseous or anything at any time of day." I reply very quietly.
"You're sure? I mean tests can be wrong." She says.
"We went to the clinic they did a blood test and I just know. I'm not happy about it but I know." I respond.
"So how long are you going to keep it from Fitz and the guys?" Bianca questions.
"As long as I can, they're going to go ballistic when they find out. Mark will probably leave me but even if he doesn't I won't be able to stay with him. Jay and I will have to get married, move in together." I'm telling Bianca and the thought of these things makes me shudder. "Problem is I'm in too deep with Mark to ever leave him, I love him Bianca. We made love for the first time last night and it was amazing and nothing like Jay. I'm in love with him and I'm going to have to break his heart. I should have ended it before it ever began." I lament.
Bianca opens her mouth to respond but before she can an arm goes around each of our shoulders and Owen sticks his head between ours to burp.
"Oh gross! God no wonder you don't have a girlfriend." Bianca chides shoving him playfully.
"Hey you dated me," he tells her.
"Yeah in third grade I've gotten better taste since then," Bianca smirks.
Owen looks wounded at this remark although I'm certain he's faking I still kiss his cheek.
"I'd date you Owen, if I weren't already taken," I tell him, "twice," I add under my breath so that only he and Bianca hear me.
Owen smiles and picks me up making me shriek a little and instinctively putting my arms around his neck.
"We're going to eat; you two, Fitz and Drew are riding with me." Owen informs us.
He carries me out to his car; I sit in back between Fitz and Drew. Owen drives us to Little Miss Steaks where we're all eating lunch apparently and we get out. Imogen pulls in behind us and she, Fiona, Eli and Adam get out of her car. Then Dave's car pulls up in his car is everyone else that was at the house including of course Dave, Jenna, Wes and Connor. The group of us go into the restaurant K.C. tells us to pull some tables together and he'll be right over. Owen, Drew and Fitz pull together four tables in the back and put chairs around it. I sit between Owen and Fitz and across from Adam, when we're all seated K.C. comes to take our order.
"So when do we get to meet Jay?" Eli inquires after K.C. has taken our orders.
"I don't know Eli he said he'd meet you guys. We'll have to meet for lunch or maybe dinner this weekend. I'll call him when he's off work." I reply feeling Fitz stiffen next to me and I take his hand under the table rubbing the back of it with my thumb.
"She wants you guys to meet somewhere public so you won't make a scene at his age difference." Owen says.
"Being in public has never stopped Eli from making a scene." Adam snickers and Eli glares at him.
"So Fitz how's studying coming you going to be wearing a horrible uniform like the rest of us come fall or what?" Bianca asks changing the subject.
"I think so, got six more weeks to study and pass this equivalency test so I think I'll be okay but ask my tutor." Fitz says looking at me.
"He'll pass he's doing really well, he got eighty percent of his answers right today." I tell them.
"Good DeGrassi just wasn't the same without you." Owen remarks.
Our food is brought out and everyone starts eating, there are small conversations while eating about plans for the rest of summer and stuff like that. When we're done eating Fiona and Imogen say they have to get home. So do Wes, Connor and Jenna so they go in Imogen's car and Dave takes Eli and Adam back to the Torres house, the rest of us ride in Owen's car again and when we get back to Adam's Katie is there in her car. Drew gets out to greet her and Bianca huffs in annoyance.
"I'm out of here, tell me when the others are meeting Jay because that I need to be there and call me if you need to talk." Bianca says getting out of the car.
"I will," I reply.
I hug her goodbye and she kisses me on the cheek then she waves to us as she starts walking to her car.
"Hey where's my kiss?" Owen yells after her.
"Fitz can kiss you," Bianca smirks getting into her car.
"You want to go back and study?" I ask Fitz.
"To my apartment, are you going to get naked again if I get questions right again?" Fitz asks.
"Naked studying sounds like fun," Owen remarks raising an eyebrow at us.
"Why don't we go to our spot and Owen can come to make sure you behave." I reply.
"Works for me, I'll follow you guys down there and we can stop to get cold drinks and ice cream on the way." Owen says. "HEY WE'RE TAKING OFF!" Owen yells loud enough that I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard him.
Drew and Katie stop arguing long enough to wave to us, Eli and Dave wave to us and I run over and hug Adam. We stop at the drug store for a pint of ice cream, water and sodas before driving to the school to park. Fitz gets the blanket out of his car and we hike down, setting the blanket by the large rock, Fitz leans against the rock, I lean against him and Owen lounges on his side at our feet. He opens the ice cream and hands us each a spoon, the mint chocolate chip ice cream is very refreshing on this hot day. After the three of us eat the entire pint of ice cream, the guys eat most of it, Owen and I take turns asking Fitz questions from the book. After a couple of questions I realize Fitz is reading over my shoulder so I move and use Owen's legs as a pillow so Fitz can't read over my shoulder. After a couple of hours and Fitz having answered most of the questions right my phone rings and I sit up pulling my phone from my purse.
"It's Jay be quiet you two." I warn them before answering. "Hi Jay."
"Hey Babe, I'm off work and I'm coming to get you to take you out to dinner." Jay tells me.
"Sounds great but I'm not at home," I reply slowly.
Fitz and Owen make a face and I shoot them a look.
"Well where are you?" Jay asks.
"Umm you can pick me up at the Dot in fifteen minutes." I tell him.
Both Owen and Fitz make the same face when I tell Jay to pick me up. It's an angry, slightly murderous look and I take Fitz's hand to try and calm him down again. It doesn't work.
"Okay see you in a few minutes." Jay says and hangs up.
"I have to go," I tell them standing up slowly and grabbing my purse.
"We'll take you," Fitz says standing up as well.
"No it's best if Jay doesn't see me with you when we're not at work." I reply but Owen stands up too and they start cleaning up.
"We're going to hike out with you and make sure you make it to the Dot." Owen tells me.
I don't argue, I don't think it's a good idea but I don't argue because I know that between the two of them I have no hope of winning. The guys pick up all the stuff and we hike back out to the cars, they insist that Fitz drive me to the Dot and park out back then I can go in through the back. I say goodbye to Owen in the school parking lot and give him a hug. Fitz drives me to the Dot parking out back and when I'm very sure that no one is watching I give him a quick kiss goodbye.
"Call or text me later so I know you're okay and let me know where to pick you up for work in the morning." Fitz says and he sounds extremely unhappy and hurt, it breaks my heart that I'm doing this to him.
"I will, I love you Mark." I remind him then get out of the car going in through the back door.
I walk straight through the café getting a look from Ray and Laura as I appear behind the counter and walk out. Sitting at an outside table I wait for Jay, his car pulls up a moment later and I get in. He crushes his lips to mine for a hard hello kiss, then he starts driving again as I buckle up.
"What were you doing out in this heat?" Jay questions.
"Just out for a walk, needed some exercise." I lie.
"You shouldn't be walking in the heat Babe; it's not good for you or the baby." Jay says placing his hand on my stomach and I get a lump in my throat.
"Sorry, I won't walk anymore." I reply.
Jay drives us to the mall and I get out, I should ask him what we're doing at the mall but I'm afraid to. He puts his arm around me and we walk into the steakhouse, one of the two actual restaurants at the mall. We're seated and we order, Jay orders beer with dinner and keeps his arm around me.
"You gonna spend the night tonight?" Jay asks.
"Mom wants me home for a few nights since she was gone all last week, maybe this weekend." I tell him.
"You better this weekend I miss you," Jay says before kissing me again.
"My friends want to meet you; they asked when they could meet you again. I told them we'd do lunch or dinner, somewhere public." I venture cautiously.
"We could do dinner on Friday; my friends are having a party that night so we can meet them before that. That's why we came to the mall we need to get you a new outfit for this party." Jay informs me.
I just kind of blink at him before nodding slowly, the waiter brings our drinks and then our food. After we eat and Jay pays, we start walking through the mall and Jay takes me into a women's clothing store with clothes that were more suited for Bianca and Alli. I'm still unsure as to why I need a new dress for this party but I'm not about to argue. Jay spends several minutes looking through the racks then pulls out a little black dress.
"Try this on," he instructs me.
I take the dress and he follows me back to the dressing rooms waiting just outside the doors. Reluctantly I put on the dress and look in the mirror, there is very little fabric to this thing. It's sleeveless, the neckline plunges showing off way more of my breasts than I'm comfortable with. The bottom of it barely covers my bottom, there's a slit on the right thigh that goes all the way to my hip bone and it's tight, pushing my boobs together and showing off my curves.
"Jay this is…" I say nervously as I look at the sight in the mirror.
"Let me see Babe," Jay insists.
Slowly and reluctantly I open the dressing room door to show him.
"You look smoking hot Babe that's definitely the dress, take it off so we can buy it, we'll get you some shoes too but you don't need a bra with that dress." Jay says and when I just stare at him because I can't believe he wants me to wear this dress. "Take it off so I can buy it what are you waiting for Babe?" Jay says again more firmly.
Closing the dressing room door I take the dress off again and hand it to Jay over the door so he can purchase it. Then we go to the shoe store and he gets me a pair of shoes also more suited for Alli before he takes me home. He stops the car a few houses down and gives me a hard kiss goodbye and says he'll see me tomorrow. I wave to him as he drives off and walk up to my house. Mom is on the phone when I go in so I wave to her and go up to my room, closing the door and calling Fitz.
"Are you okay? Do I need to come get you?" Fitz asks as soon as he answers.
"I'm fine, I'm at home, we just had dinner and he bought me an outfit to wear to a party on Friday." I tell Fitz.
"What kind of outfit? What party?" Fitz questions his voice getting an angry edge.
"Mark relax, a party his friends are having but before the party we're going to have dinner so Adam and the others can meet him. You can come but you have to behave, so do Owen, Drew and Bianca." I stipulate.
"We'll behave, so where's this party?" Fitz asks.
"I don't know Mark but you can't come to the party with me. Anyway you'd flip a gasket if you saw me in the dress Jay bought me." I tell him.
"Why what's the dress like?" Fitz inquires.
"Black, small and slutty even for Bianca." I reply. Fitz just growls in response and I realize I better calm him down. "Mark I'll be fine, you'll pick me up for work in the morning?" I ask.
"Yeah of course, call me if you need me I'll come right away." Fitz responds.
"I know you will, I love you Mark." I say.
"I love you Clare, sleep well." He says and hangs up.
I hang up and get ready for bed, having woken up at three thirty this morning I'm really quite tired and fall asleep quickly, thinking of Fitz and dreaming about making love to him.
Update soon when Adam and the others finally meet Jay!