Chapter Twenty: Yule

"Why are you smiling like that?" Alexis asked, spreading a bolt of red cloth across the top of the low dresser in his dad's small bedroom. It was going to serve as a very simple version of a Yule altar this year. Their altar at home was a low rosewood table embossed with a pentacle in the center and the runes for earth, air, fire, and water in their corresponding corners. Sirius made the table and even carved the designs himself. Remus and Alexis were making his dad's altar in his bedroom so that it was out of sight in case his colleges came to call.

"I'm just thinking," his dad said casually, though a barely suppressed grin was playing at his lips. The full moon was drawing nearer with each passing day, leaving his dad looking overly pale and washed out so it was a relief to see him smiling so much. "What are you thinking about?" Alexis pressed, arranging the candles, the pentacle, and the objects representing the four elements as well as the tiny God and Goddess statues. "You," his dad replied with a wide smile. Alexis looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't realize I was so funny." Remus chuckled warmly and came to stand beside his son. "I was thinking about when you were four and your aunt made you a crown to wear and you refused to take it off," Remus said fondly. "You even fell asleep with it on." Alexis smiled at the memory.

That was the first Yule he could remember. It was by far one of his favorites. "I remember," Alexis said, adding some holly and pine cones to the altar. "Then I decided you two needed crowns so I begged Cassie to help me make some for the both of you," Alexis said with a grin. Remus burst out laughing at the memory, remembering Alexis's insistence that the adults being included.

Alexis was very much like Sirius in that respect, always wanting everyone to be having as much fun as he was. Nothing had changed when Alexis's got older. If he found away to get Remus and Cassie involved, he would do it. Just like Sirius. Remus remembered when he had been too weak after a transformation to attend the Christmas feast during his fifth year.

Not wanting Remus to miss out on the fun, Sirius proceeded to decorate his friend's hospital bed while the latter was sleeping. Remus awoke to find his bed covered in paper chains, tinsel, and ornaments nicked from the school trees, a miniature feast nicked from the kitchens and a grinning Sirius wearing a Father Christmas hat bearing wizard crackers. Once the shock had worn off, Remus couldn't stop laughing. Remus had never forgotten the kindness Sirius had shown him, the acceptance had always been there to offer. Even now the memory made him smile.

That was the Sirius Remus liked to remember. Smiling faintly, sadly, Remus watched Alexis place a messily painted sun and some crooked paper snow flakes on the altar. Alexis had made them when he was a child. They were by far Remus's favorite decorations. Finally, Alexis removed a small, carefully wrapped bundle from Remus's battered case.

Inside was a simple silver stag. His aunt had given it to his dad on his thirtieth birthday. His dad had hugged her for about ten minutes after she had given it to him. And every year when he placed it on the altar, his dad always wore the same sad, smiling expression. Alexis had no idea why the simple statue meant so much to his father but whatever the reason, it was special to him and Alexis respected that.

After he carefully unwrapped the small, silver stag, Alexis handed it to his father. Remus smiled faintly at the small stag. Prongs. James. Remus was still looking for a rat and a dog to go along side the stag.

Yes, even a dog. Casting Alexis a reassuring smile, Remus placed the statue in its rightful place on the altar. Remus draped an arm around Alexis's shoulders and pressed the teenager against his side. He had been so pensive and quiet lately. "Are you sure you're all right?" Remus asked again.

He had been asking the same thing for days. Alexis nodded but said nothing. He still hadn't told his dad about what had happened with Harry. Remus had enough to worry about without having to deal with Alexis's problems. The candles flickered softly in the gathering darkness.

Light and dark must always be in balance. Without the darkness there could be no light. Yule. The shortest time of year. Tonight the balance was tipped as far toward the darkness as it could go.

But the light always returned. It was the eternal balance. That was the what the Solstice was about, really.

Just when everything looks darkest, the light is reborn.