I admit this one is a little unlikely to happen and I think the characters slipped a little in my head but if you're willing to put that aside. . . Sorry it took me so long to post these stories, and I only have two to post! T-T I feel writers block coming on! You have any ideas at all you tell me, 'kay? I still need to write that one where I compare Sam to fire; I just have to figure out a way to start it. . . P.S. I don't own iCarly; if I did the new episode would be OUT ALREADY! Huff! I can't wait this long! I'll explode!

"OH WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO SUCK FACE WITH MY TWIN? Yeah! That's right! I know about what you and Melanie did at that stupid club you went to. And honestly, I don't know why I care!" Sam and I were at it again. I only made one comment about her butt being shaped oddly (again) and she blew up! An argument that would have had to take at least five minutes to mature to yelling then violence skipped right on a head.

"Is that what this is about Sam?" I asked sudden realization dawning on me. "Are you jealous of Melanie?"

"No. I'm just angry because she got to-" I waited for her to finish that sentence but she seemed to have backed herself into a corner. Either she had to admit what she really thought and put her emotions out there, or she says nothing and gives me more ammo to fire with. She chose the latter and just left the sentence hanging.

"Angry because what, Sam? Because we shared a kiss? Because you're afraid she might, what, Sam? Might steal me away from you?" I winced as the last sentence made its way out of my mouth, knowing that my pride wouldn't live much longer. She just sniffed and looked at me over her shoulder contemptuously.

"Please, steal you away from me! As if! Like she would even want you. You're such a nub Freddork."

Patients Name:

Freddie Benson's Pride

Status:

Deceased

Cause of Death:

Murder by sharp object believed to be a forked tongue.

But as much as Freddie's pride smarted over that last comment he didn't believe her will was in it. She wasn't up to lashing out any more, which could only mean one thing: Freddie had hit the nail on the head. Granted it was probably a nail lined up with an explosive device, and now that it was hammered in it was likely to blow up at any given moment. But like any good idiot with too much courage or stupidity, he was going to see this one through.

"Sam, you realize after hanging out with Melanie for a whole night I've decided I like you better right?" He was treading thin ice here, he had to step lightly.

"Oh, thanks for that Freddie!" She said, sarcasm dripping from every word, "You know I always appreciate people comparing me to my twin! And hearing you diss my sister just makes it all better!" Wrong move! The countdown to detonation had started. Backpedaling hurriedly Freddie's mind scrabbled for something to say. Almost by instinct it lighted on what his mother used to say to him when he would complain of bullies. (That was before Sam and he realized complaining to your mother only made it worse)

"You know, Melanie's just a poor man's Sam. Something to help them believe they have the real deal, but they're only fooling themselves." Freddie waited, breathless, hoping he hadn't said anything bad. And waited, waited, waited . . . did her arms just relax? Are we in the clear?! And, YES! A DISSASTER HAS BEEN DIVERTED! Sam sighed. A small smile playing across her lips and she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Well, I guess that makes me feel better. Melanie's a poor man's Sam and Freddie's a poor man's Johnny Depp. But hey, seeing as I don't have two nickels to rub together, who am I to complain?" She punched me on the shoulder to let me know it was all better. I don't think my arm got the message though.

So to characters slipped a little and it was an alightly awkward read, but it wasn't too bad, right? Okay I have to go post the other story, hope you liked it. Again, any ideas come into your little heads you tell me right? =^^= 'kay, sending you all love.