I can't believe I am doing this. xD I missed writing this story!
Well, according to my poll, most people want WWW back, so after I got into some fun convos yesterday, I thought; why not?

No, the end was not the end after all. But it has been over a full year. I'm happy with this, and I hope you will be too!

This is set during the final events of RE5, at the hangar.

Warnings; Drug abuse, CRACK at some points, random conversations, based on chapter 11, 12 and 13 and… Character death. (But don't worry, because in my fics, nobody ever really dies forever.)

Inspired by several people on Facebook. Pot-parties? Also thanks to MistressMaryD. for letting me use her word. :3

I don't own RE! Still!

Enjoy?
(Oh I sure as hell hope so…)

"This will be the last chance we'll get to do this…" Wesker was staring at something in his hand, and wondered whether or not to go through with the plan. "If Redfield is a little faster than I think he will be, he will witness us doing this."

Wesker, Krauser and HUNK were sitting on a railing at the hangar, waiting for Chris and Sheva to arrive. Only minutes ago, Chris had made his way up in the elevator, and the three men were fully aware of the fact that he was approaching faster than they had ever thought he could. However, they also had a plan to celebrate their years of friendship, and they didn't really want to give Chris the chance to interfere.

"Just do it, if you go all weird like you did back in the Netherlands, I will distract them until you get your brain to work again." HUNK reached into his pocket and grabbed his lighter. "If this thing goes the way it should go, then soon we won't have time to have fun anymore, so we should just take the chance right now."

Krauser didn't join in on the conversation because he had already lighted his magic stick, and was now off to whatever fairytale land he had started to imagine. He jumped off the fence, sat down on the floor and smiled. "It still works… It's been years, but these things still work… Gravity is increasing."

"I'm sure glad there are no windmills here," HUNK stated with a smirk. "Otherwise…"

HUNK didn't finish his sentence, because Jack was once again imagining the thing he had been so afraid of the previous time they had decided to get high. "Oh no, oh guys, listen… If gravity is increasing, that means the sky… It will fall down!"

Wesker frowned. "I bet Chris would say something similar, and then ask Jack to help him keep the sky from falling down."

HUNK nodded and lighted his own joint, praying he wouldn't mistake Wesker for a turtle again. "Probably."

Ignoring both his employees, Wesker started to stare at his own joint again, and contemplated whether to light it or not. Sure, Chris was approaching, but then again… There were two Gatling Gun Majini waiting for him, as well as several Majini with rocket launchers, and a handful of them with regular weapons. The chances of Chris coming out of there alive were small, so perhaps it would be a good idea to just let go for now?

Wesker nodded to himself and smirked. "I will let go for one more time before claiming my right to be a god…" He turned to Krauser and HUNK and saluted his comrades. "Men, the right to smoke some pot, that right is now mine."

"The sky…" Krauser muttered.

Wesker lighted his joint and placed it between his lips. He had been working hard for the past three or so years, and it was nice to have some time off for once. Sure, that time off was very limited, and he had to share it with two others, but it made him happy.

Soon enough, Wesker was getting high himself and he just plopped down on the floor near HUNK to enjoy the ceiling. Slowly, he raised his hand to bring the joint to his mouth, and that was when he noticed. That was when he remembered. That was when he figured nothing could go wrong anymore.

He sat up quickly and pointed at HUNK. "Mr. Never Killed, the right to be a god is mine, no matter what they say, because just my hands are worthy enough on their own… They are so, so handy!"

HUNK nodded. "Yeah, I know, you got handy hands."

"The sky will fall down, you know?" Krauser was staring at the ceiling too, and wondered if the ceiling would break down underneath all that weight of the sky. "We need to prevent it from falling down."

"My handy hands could kill Chris in the blink of an eye! The eye of a fly, perhaps. For some reason, blinking takes a lot of time right now." Wesker blinked his eyes in a rather slow manner, as if he was falling asleep and waking up. "My hands are handy, but my eyes refuse to witness them properly." He yawned.

Krauser looked up at the mention of his favorite word. "Witness the power!"

Wesker nodded violently. "Witness the power of my handy hands wreaking havoc!" He cocked an eyebrow and yawned again. "Wait, no, they will not wreak havoc! They will…" Wesker yawned again and closed his eyes. Not to blink this time, though, but because he suddenly felt insanely tired. "Hmmmm, the right to smoke some god, that right is now fine."

Krauser reached for his pocket and pulled his cellphone out. He pressed it against his ear. "What, sir? There's nobody on the line…" He glanced at HUNK and saw the stern expression on his comrades' face. "Oh my, there's nobody on the line because the lines are dead, aren't they? It's because the sky must've fallen down already!"

HUNK nodded to himself and grabbed his own cellphone. "I will call my lady to see if she survived, then." He pressed a few buttons and waited for a reply. "Hello Joey? The sky fell down and now we're all doomed or something… Make sure you wear a helmet when you go outside!"

"Whut?" HUNK's girlfriend replied. "How about Uroboros?"

"Who?" HUNK asked.

"Uroboros!" Joey practically yelled. "You said I had to wear your gasmask and hide in the attic, so I am, and now you tell me I can go outside as long as I wear a helmet? I don't get it!"

"Doesn't matter, Jo, we'll fix this in the blink of an eye… The eye of a fly."

There was silence for a few seconds. "Are you eh, drunk?"

Krauser overheard the conversation and sat down next to the phone. "No! We're high!" He yelled loudly.

HUNK scratched the back of his head. "It's on speaker."

"My apologies for hurting your ears, lady! I will put the sky up again as soon as I rob Wesker in a minute! Good night!" Krauser pushed a button and the phone call was cut off. "Women, they can be so damn oblivious sometimes."

HUNK nodded. "Yes, yes they can…"

Wesker, who had fallen asleep for a minute or two, opened his eyes again and sat up. "Men, were we not working on accomplishing something?"

"Yes," HUNK answered, "complete global saturation."

Wesker snickered. "Right now it feels more like complete global levitation."

Krauser thought for a moment and then sighed. "I wish there was a complete global train station… I sometimes want to go somewhere, but those towns don't have train stations, so I have to go on Trekkie." He pouted. "Tractors can only go so far, you know?"

Wesker made some understanding noises as he stood up, balanced himself and walked to the railing. "You could take Trekkie on the train? I would let you, and I will rule the world soon, so no worries." He leaned on the railing to prevent himself from falling over, when he suddenly heard a noise behind him.

"Your plans are finished Wesker!" Chris Redfield, who has just entered, yelled.

Sheva continued with "there's no way out this time!"

"Don't you two…" Wesker started a sentence, but then realized what Chris had said. "Wait, my plants are finished? Of course they are, Redfield, we were smoking them for a reason."

Chris became a bit confused, but he didn't want Wesker to notice. "What do you expect to accomplish by unleashing Uroboros?"

"Ya know?" Krauser butted in. "Maybe Redfield wants to join too? We can share, I'll share with the woman, I don't want his cooties."

Wesker shook his head. "Only one truly capable of smoking some pot, deserves that right."

== Flashback scene ==

Wesker was standing a near a large window, while in the background an old man was talking to him. He turned around and clenched his fist. "Are you saying it was manufactured?"

The old man coughed. "I was to smoke some pot…"

In the blind of an eye, and this time not the eye of a fly, Wesker stood next to the old man and snatched something from his hands before pushing his wheelchair away. He stared at the stuff in his hand and grunted. "The right to smoke your pot, that right is now mine."

== End flashback ==

Wesker ignored Chris' confused looks and handgun and glanced at HUNK. "Why did I kill Spencer again?"

"The right to be a god?" HUNK asked.

"Of course… I never stole his pot, I had my own already…" Wesker turned back to Chris and yawned. "Chris… How are you?"

Chris finally lowered his handgun and stared at Sheva, who seemed just as confused as he did. "Sheva, are you thinking what I am thinking?"

Sheva nodded. "He's smoking the stuff, yes."

"I can't believe Wesker would smoke mary-ju-wanna… It's bad for the brain, it will kill brain cells faster than… Faster than… Some other things." Chris had a serious look on his face because he didn't know how to handle the situation. "Once, Barry smoked mary-ju-wanna too, and you know what he did? He kept squirting ketchup on the table, stating 'hope it's not Chris' blood!'"

Wesker snickered. "Oh, you gotta love Barry." Suddenly, Wesker laughed out loud. "Oh, that reminds me, Spencer once said 'The Wesker Children were entrusted with endless potential…' Haha, get it? POT-ential?"

HUNK laughed too and stood up. He did a back flip that came out of nowhere and pointed at himself. "I got an idea! After the Complete Global Saturation, we will do something called Complete Global Festation! We'll have a pot-party to celebrate taking over the world!"

"Infestation…" Wesker muttered. "Oh, we still need to reach the optimal altitude to release Uroboros into the atmosphere." He was still ignoring Chris as he jumped over the railing, walked up to the bomber equipped with missiles, and made an attempt to open its door. A bit confused he realized it didn't work, and was only barely able to back off when the thing was fired up.

"Someone took my keys!" Wesker yelled loudly as he witnessed the roof open and the bomber take off. "Wait, where is Jack?"

HUNK's phone rang, and he quickly picked it up. "Yes?"

"HUNK!" Krauser stated over the phone. "Listen, HUNK, I have found the perfect solution to our current situation! I will put the sky back up with the help of this flying saucer! Wish me luck!" And the phone call was cut off again.

Wesker frowned. "Dang… How come we didn't notice Jack take off like that?"

HUNK shrugged. "Doesn't matter, once he reaches the optimal altitude for missile employment, we'll get what we wanted anyway."

Wesker laughed. "Employment?"

"Well yes, we did hire… No wait, I'm confused…" HUNK yawned loudly and sat down on the floor, next to where Chris was standing. He leaned his head against Chris' leg and closed his eyes. "Wake me up before you go-go, or something." And a second later, the sanest man in the history of Resident Evil was off to dreamland.

Wesker shot HUNK a glare of disapproval and shook his head. "Well Chris, that just leaves you and me, and Shabba."

"It's Sheva." Sheva sneered.

"Shabba, like I said… Listen, perhaps we can talk this over tomorrow, I must now smoke another joint, reach the level of complete global levitation, and see if I can fly up to help Jack out… Good day." Wesker walked up to the light switches, and turned them all off before lighting another joint and quickly after falling asleep again.

In the meanwhile, Chris and Sheva were trying to figure out what to do. They could try to kill Wesker, wake him up and then face his wrath, or they could take a break too. Chris decided to go for the break, and after carefully placing HUNK completely on the floor, he pulled Sheva against him and closed his eyes too. "Oh, what a fucked up mission."

"Chris, we need to kill him, or them, actually… And how about that man that took off? Before we know it, Uroboros will be everywhere, and we will be to blame because you needed to take a nap."

"Do you know what mary-ju-wanna does to you, Shabba?" Chris asked.

Sheva sent him an ice cold glare.

"I mean Sheva, I'm sorry… It slows down your thinking and acting, and I bet that other guy already fell asleep, and is now flying around aimlessly until he crashes into a mountain."

"Chris! People will get hurt!"

"But not everyone on the planet… We can't help those people anymore, so we might as well take a quick nap, wake up full of energy and then take them out." Chris grabbed Sheva again and hugged her tightly. "Now let's sleep."

Sheva heaved a deep sigh and watched Chris as he fell asleep too. Now, she was the only one in the hangar that was still awake, and she would, she swore to God, not fall asleep herself. Someone had to keep an eye out, right?

But as much as Sheva fought the sleep that tried to wash over her, it became harder and harder to keep her eyes closed. And then, just before the first person would wake up again already, Sheva was off to dreamland too.

That first person to wake up again was Wesker. He opened his eyes and quickly remembered the things he had said and done. He also realized that Chris was still around, and that he and Sheva were asleep. He slowly shook his head and stood up, took a moment to balance himself and walked up to his arch enemy, feeling completely sober again. "Chris, you are such an idiot, I sometimes wonder how you were able to survive so many years."

Chris muttered something back, but didn't move or open his eyes.

Wesker smirked and started to poke Chris with his boot. He grabbed his Magnum and pointed it at his former comrade and current nemesis. "Chris, it's time to wake up and smell the roses for the last time."

Chris muttered something again, but he still didn't budge. He was probably having a sexy dream about both Jill and Sheva, for otherwise he would've been awake by now.

After Wesker poked him some more and made more remarks, Chris finally opened his eyes, only to be faced with the sight of a Magnum. "Oh crap."

"Time to die, Chris…" Wesker stated slowly. He nodded one last time and pulled the trigger, leaving a large, bleeding hole in Chris' head.

Sheva woke up to the sound of a large 'bang' near her head, and sat up with the speed of light. She reached for her handgun in order to defend herself from Wesker, but Chris' body was heavily leaning on her shoulders, and it was hard to move her arm properly.

"Shabba," Wesker stated when he saw her move around, "my sincerest apologies, but I should've done that years ago, so… Technically speaking, this is a good reason to celebrate, so because I'm in a rather nice mood right now, I'll just let you live… a little longer."

Suddenly, Wesker's phone bleeped. He took it out of his pocket and pressed it against his ear. "Yes?"

"Sir!" Krauser's voice echoed through the hangar. "I have done something rather amazing, if I may say so myself!"

"What is it?" Wesker inquired.

"I have released Uroboros into the atmosphere, ensuring complete global hesit… vaca… no wait, saturation!"

HUNK appeared right behind Wesker, and had put his gasmask on after calling his girlfriend to do the same thing. "Oh wow, we did it?"

With a sincere smile wider than anyone had ever seen before, Wesker turned to face Sheva and ran a hand through his hair. "Miss Alomar, though you've come this far, I am pleased to say that, and you should treasure these words because they are first spoken to you… The right to be a god, that right has now been claimed by me." He then turned to HUNK and slapped his comrade on the shoulder. "Now all we need to do is make sure you and your crazy lady are accepted by Uroboros, and when that happens , we'll finally be in total control of the planet."

Sheva finally found the guts to speak up. "You will not get away with this!"

"Oh dear heart, I already have… But don't you worry, it'll all be over soon." And with those words Wesker left the hangar to enjoy the sun on his face. The sun that would forever shine down on planet Earth.

His planet Earth.

You know what? I think it's completely safe to say that Wesker really does have a way with weed. And Krauser with Uroboros.

== Epilogue ==

With a loud grunt, Chris opened his eyes. "Argh, what the hell?"

Sheva was sitting next to him, ignoring the dancing HUNK in the background. "I infected you with Uroboros, to see if you'd survive. It has accepted you."

"That's because I have a very tolerant body," Chris stated with a serious expression on his face. He glanced at HUNK and noticed a joint had fallen out of the agent's pocket. He pointed at it. "Sheva, get me that joint, I could really use some mary-ju-wanna right now."

Yeah... And that was chapter 21 of WWW. I hope you liked it. If ya did, feel free to let me know. If you didn't... Well, it happens. Perhaps Chris is willing to share his mary-ju-wanna.

(I know it's marijuana. xD)

Until next time? I'll see if I can use some W-words that were left ages ago.
FUNK (Or Triple T to those who are confused about what the heck happened.)