CHAPTER 21 – YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS?!
CALLIE'S POV
This can't be happening. This is impossible. How am I supposed to finish this surgery? Give this man full functionality of his leg with those blue eyes staring at me that way. I feel like every bit of my insides are on fire. But this is not the type of fire I am used to. And those are not the blue eyes I am used to looking at and melting. No those are the blue eyes of someone who broke me…..
I feel as if I am going to pass out. Like my legs are going to give out right from under me. Shock, anger, hurt, betrayal, sadness, pain. Those are five things that make up what I am feeling at this very moment. Standing in the middle of the OR frozen like a statue and unable to speak all because of the blue eyed blonde that walked in beside Teddy.
Everyone is moving around as if they do not even notice me and my dilemma. Teddy is already hard at work on the patient, and the other heart surgeon is standing next to her frozen much like myself. Erica Hahn is in the same OR as I am. At the same moment. A million questions are running through my mind, and I suddenly feel as though I am going to be sick. Teddy says something and it causes Erica to turn her attention to the patient and finally break eye contact with me. That gives me the opportunity to snap out of my state of shock and look to the patient as well.
Teddy informs me that she has to open the patient up due to some complications, and tells me to continue with his knee. After shaking off the feelings I am having the best I can, I turn to my scrub nurse and ask for a second scalpel. I get back to work on his knee, and the looks I am getting from Erica feel as though they are burning right through me. I push away any thoughts I have and focus. I finish the knee replacement quickly, and turn the patient over to Teddy and instruct my intern to close up.
I walk out of the OR and rip the gown from my body. Slamming it and my surgical gloves into the waste basket. I lean over the trash can and empty the contents of my stomach into it. I feel dizzy. Almost like I am going to hyperventilate. And then I hear the air tight doors open. I am terrified to look back to see who it is. In fear of it being the one person I do not want to look at, much less be alone in this room with. But of course, as my shitty luck would have it, I turn and become face to face with my ex girlfriend/best friend.
"Callie I need to—" Erica begins before I quickly cut her off.
"No! You do not get to stand here and give me any explanations. None! Do you hear me? There is nothing that you can say that would possibly interest me. You said everything you needed to say by disappearing the way you did. Fucking Hoodini. You just *poof* disappeared into thin air. Like you were a figment of my imagination. So no. You do not get to stand here and say anything to me. Do you understand me? Stay away from me DOCTOR Hahn. Stay far, far away from me." I shout at the cardio surgeon.
I do not feel my legs moving. I cannot feel them pushing me towards the empty stairwell. I open the door, and then turn and collapse on the step. I sit there for a few moments with my head in my hands, trying to take deep breaths. What in the hell is she doing here? I keep asking myself over and over. It's been well over a year since she just up and left. Without a word, or so much as a text message saying to fuck off. She picked up with her life and kept on going as if I never even existed.
I woke up this morning the happiest I have ever been in my life. I then get my parents back in my life and that makes it even better. Then I start my work day off with a smile on my face and a kiss from my perfect fiancé. Then BAM. Out of nowhere someone comes and kicks my legs out from under me. I try my best to calm my nerves, but nothing is working. I hear someone open the door on the floor above me, followed by footsteps coming down the stairs. I do my best to just ignore them, hoping and praying that they just keep on going and ignore me completely. But of course, my shitty luck continues as Merideth Grey stops right next to me.
"Dr. Torres, are you alright? You don't look too good." She says with concern lacing her voice.
"I'm great! I'm just fucking peachy!" I yell at the undeserving intern.
"Ookay. Well I am sorry to have bothered you" she says before she opens the door to the floor and walks out quickly.
Moments later Mark comes barreling through the door, and I am positive that he is there because Grey told him I looked like I was about to whig out in here.
"Torres, what the hell is wrong with you? Grey just told me that you are five shades of pale in here. Are you alright?" Mark asks.
"Erica Hahn. Mark… Erica Hahn." I say flatly.
"What? What about that ice queen?" He asks me. Looking completely lost. This only tells me that he has yet to hear of her presence. Which in a way is good, because if he had known she was here, and didn't warn me, I would probably strangle him right about now.
"She is here. In the hospital. In the OR with MY patient. You know.. the OR that I was just operating in along side her and Altman."
"What the fuck? You gotta be joking me. Why on earth would Erica Hahn be back at SGMW? I heard she took a job at some hospital in New York." Mark says just as clueless as I am.
"Well, regardless of where she took a job, she is standing in there operating right next to Teddy. I almost lost it in there. I froze. With a patient cut wide open. I FROZE! What kind of a surgeon does that? A man was laying there cut open and I couldn't even pull my head out of my ass and do my job. She walked in and I froze like a scared little puppy." I say, with anger towards myself.
"Cal, you had no idea that she was going to walk in there. The woman really pulled a fast one on you, and you never got any answers. So of course you are allowed to be a little freaked out. A little shocked. And honestly, a LOT pist off." Mark says as he sits down next to me on the step and puts his arm around my shoulders.
"She hurt you Cal. No matter how you want to look at it. Sure, you weren't in love with her. And you didn't light up the way you do with blondie, but still. Hahn helped get you through the whole George the cheating husband ordeal, and you did get close. Maybe it was more of a friendship than a relationship, but when she left, you lost a piece of you."
"Your right Mark. I am just so confused. Not confused about my feelings for her. Because I have learned what love really does feel like, but I'm confused as to how she could just walk away from me like she didn't have a care in the world. Like I meant absolutely nothing to her. Who does that? Who can be that cold and then show up here expecting me to want to sit down and catch up over coffee?"
"I don't know Callie. But I think you should talk to her. Not like that, so don't jump my case over it. I just mean that you should talk to her. Hear her out. Get some answers to your questions so you can really close that chapter of your life. If you are really serious about you and Robbins, then you need to put this Erica nonsense behind you for good."
"Thanks Mark. I'm not real sure when you became so good at pep talks, but I am thankful for it." I smile and lean my head against his shoulder. "And I really am serious about Arizona. So I need to talk to Erica and get it over with."
I stand up and brush myself off before turning and thanking Mark. I open the door to the floor and make my way inside. I am going to get through this day if it kills me. I say to myself. Now, I need to go find Arizona and tell her just what the hell is going on.
ARIZONA'S POV
"Yeah, and then Hahn walked in and Dr. Torres froze. She dropped her scalpel and couldn't even speak. It was like every one else in the room disappeared. Dr. Altman got busy working on the patient, and Torres as well as Hahn stood there looking at eachother. The tension was so think in there that you could cut it with a knife." Says Nurse 1.
"You do know the story behind them right? Apparently Dr. Torres was having an affair with Dr. Sloan from plastics while she was supposed to be in a relationship with Hahn. But once Hahn found out about their on call room hook ups, she hopped on the first plane she could find to New York. She emailed the chief the next day to let him know that she had quit, and that was the last time anybody heard from her. I can't believe she is here. I wonder what she is doing here anyways." Says Nurse 2.
"Well I heard that she came back for Dr. Torres. That she realized that she still loved her and wanted to try again." Says Nurse 3
"But isn't she like seeing Dr. Robbins? I mean I heard that they just bout a house or something. She is going to be so crushed when Dr. Torres goes running back into Dr. Hahn's arms. Poor woman." Says Nurse 1
Now it is my turn to stand there frozen like an idiot. After listening to the nurses go on and on, I had to get away. I couldn't keep listening to them gossip. I was trying to process the information I had just heard. I couldn't be sure about most of the things they said, because we have been proven time and time again that 98% of the bullshit stories start with the nurses in this place. But the part about Erica Hahn being inside the walls of this hospital got right under my skin. I was not prepared for this. Not by any means. I know Calliope loves me, and I have no doubt about her commitment to me. I am not worried about the foundation of our relationship what so ever. What has me going crazy is knowing how badly Hahn hurt my fiancée, and the thought of her trying to do it again sets my blood on fire. And from what the nurses just said, assuming that it is true about the OR, I am ready to go all playground Arizona on a one Erica Hahn. I will be damned if she is going to get near my Calliope and cause her anymore pain.
I look for Karev, and once I find him I pull him off to the side of the hallway out of ears length from the nurses.
"Karev! I need you to do me a favor. I need you to cover for me for the next hour or so. I need you to do this with no questions asked, then I will let you have a solo surgery next week. You have my word! But if anyone comes looking for me, even Calliope, you have to make something up that will keep them off my trail. Undersood?"
"Seriously? A solo surgery? No problem. Your as good as vapor. Now go!" he says.
I nod and start to walk away. I instructed him to page me with all 3's if it is something that I really need to address, like the chief or a dying patient. Other than that, he has me covered. So now I am on the prowl. For one Erica Hahn. And I feel sorry for the woman once I find her.
After I turn up empty handed on several floors, I walk over to the receptionist and tell her to page Dr. Hahn for a consult in room 213B. But little does anyone know, that is one empty room, and the only person that will be in there is me. I walk into the room, and before I know it I am pacing back and forth. Suddenly the door swings open, and I am met with another blue eyed blonde that mirrors my own.
"Where is the patient? I was paged to this room for a consult." Erica says before she stretches her neck to double check the room number. I move next to her and close the door and position myself between her and the only exit.
"You are in the correct room Dr. Hahn. I am the person who paged you. And we have some things to discuss. So make yourself comfortable." I say with a look to kill.
"I do not have time for this. There are REAL problems out there that need my attention. Now if you will excuse me, I have better things to do with my time than meet crazy women in empty patient rooms." Erica says.
Wow. This woman really is a bitch. With a whole in her chest that pumps ice cubes. But she is no match for an angry Arizona. I stick my hand out to show her that I am not moving.
"SIT DOWN Erica. You are going to hear what I have to say. If you like it or not. Because what I have to say is something you NEED to hear. So sit your ass down and shut your mouth, or I will help you shut it!"
This is going to be interesting….. Keep calm Arizona.