This chapter is a key chapter. It's really important for the story as a whole and I hope you like it.
(Don't worry, That_One_Mimic, I didn't forget your OneShot)
Anyways, this chap is a little longer than the others, to make up for it. And I'm staying on schedule! I've set priorities now and everything relaxed a bit so it's absolutely no problem anymore!
Means, an update every three days is safe, no break and no delay needed, promise :D
Enjoy~
Adrien stayed where he was when she stepped towards him. He wouldn't corner her and he certainly wouldn't risk scaring her by suddenly coming towards her. He already did his steps.
He knew that now, she needed to come to him. He had seen fear in her eyes and noticed her still quick breathing.
She needed that kind of control again when she had lost it over the last months. She had to begin to trust him again through realizing he wouldn't push her to anything. She had to realize he would grant her safety through giving her confidence to take things in her own hands again – if only with him.
Their gazes met and he gulped, still feeling old emotions bubble up, still feeling a slight recoil at her eyes. These were the eyes that saw Ladybug's death. No, Miss Fortune was the one to kill her…
He bit his lip as he realized what really upset him in seeing her eyes.
These were the eyes to which he had continued kicking. These were the eyes that had pleaded him to listen to her, these were the eyes that had tried to tell him it was the bracelet she still wore around her wrist, snapped in half but sewed back together.
She had fought and defeated the Akuma for him. He would've never won if she hadn't told him where the Akuma was. He would've never won against Miss Fortune if Marinette hadn't regained control over her body again.
She had been the real hero of the day. She had been the one to do Ladybug's job – locate the Akuma.
He quickly lowered his gaze, his throat blocking and guilt weighing down as a wet curtain in his eyes, clouding his vision.
She lightly swayed, she was probably feeling dizzy from all the running and not having eaten something. It was obvious that she hadn't had breakfast, not with these guys following her to school, not when she was this pale and shaky on her feet. She probably spent the night in the streets until these guys found her in the morning. She probably didn't have something to eat since yesterday.
She came to a halt in front of him, her arms tightly wrapped around her shivering form, shivering because of fear.
"Why-… Why are you-… How did you find me…?", she finally asked, her voice quiet and raspy. Unused from months of keeping quiet, he realized.
"I went after you-… After Chat Noir scared these guys away.", her eyes widened in surprise and he remembered that she had already been down the street when he had stepped in the way of the men, "I was worried… Nino and Alya are searching for you, too, but I don't know where they are."
She slowly nodded, her gaze lowering to the ground, but at his last statement she gasped and looked around.
"They-… They could be in danger, they shouldn't-…", with a few quick steps she was out of the alley, fighting to stay upright but still looking around in panic, "You-… You need to find them, I can get home on my own. They shouldn't look for me, it's too dangerous!"
Adrien was completely dumbstruck.
After all these months of suppression, of mobbing and death threats, of glares and name calling, of being beaten up to the point of unrecognizability, of alcohol abuse to cope with the pain the whole of Paris put her through she still cared more for others than herself. After all this, she still went out in the open, not caring if another group of violent vigilantes could spot her, because she was worrying for Nino and especially Alya, who hadn't been much better than anyone else since Ladybug's death.
He slowly came up behind her, not daring to touch her but still stretching an arm out, hinting to an embrace around her shoulders, just to give her a feeling of cover and safety, of protection.
She looked up to him, her eyes wide and fearful.
"P-Please, Adrien. You have to go look for them. Please."
His gaze softened from shocked to understanding, slowly nodding.
"I'll call them. I'll make sure they get home. But they're two. I won't leave you alone, it's too dangerous."
She worried her lower lip, seemingly considering her options. He had no doubt that she wanted to be alone rather than with him. But he couldn't leave her alone, not with people like these men out.
"Mariette.", she recoiled at her name but he quietly continued, not wanting to intimidate her even more, "Please let me help you."
The next question shouldn't have surprised him. It really shouldn't have. And yet, when the desperate words tumbled from her lips, as fast as she had sometimes spoken back then, it hit him like a wall. His heart clenched while he felt a stab, leaving him with short breaths.
"Why do you want to help me?!", as soon as she finished she clutched her hands over her mouth, tightly squinting her eyes together. She was still scared.
Adrien tried to swallow but his mouth was dry. His arm sunk and he sighed, letting his head hang low.
"Because I was being an asshole… I acted like a complete jerk and-… And I didn't see you getting so bad… I-"
She quickly shook her head, her gaze finding his again as she lightly bent down to get his attention back.
"No, no, Adrien, you acted completely normal. You didn't know better just-… Why-… Are you helping me now? I-… F-First Alya and now-… I just don't understand…"
He bit his lip and instead of answering her question, he stretched out an inviting hand, his palm turned upwards. She questioningly let her gaze jump from his hand to his eyes and back to his hand. Over the day it had stopped raining sometime around lunchtime but now he felt another little drop hitting his skin.
"C'mon. Let's get going. I'll tell you on the way.", he tried a soft smile even though he trembled of anticipation. Would she turn and try to run again? Would she take his hand? Would she maybe have a shock? A panic attack? There were so many possibilities bolting through his thoughts in the short time that Marinette needed to react, stretching out the moment of a few seconds to years for him.
She finally pressed her lips together, taking his hand and nodding.
"… Okay…", she replied, then lowered her gaze and began walking down the road beside him. He swallowed as he felt her skin ice cold on his so he quickly parted their hands, shrugging off his jacket and placing it around her shoulders. She jumped at first but as she felt the stored body warmth from him seeping into her skin she gratefully slipped her arms in to the sleeves, before feeling his hand on her far shoulder, his arm around her body.
"… Is this okay?", his voice sounded, way closer than before. She froze slightly but managed to resume walking, nodding robotically since she shivered.
"… Y-Yeah, that's okay…"
They continued walking in silence, knowing they'd have a long way to reach her home. She had run pretty far.
The girl knew he wouldn't say anything before she didn't give him her permission to do so. He had showed her before. He would wait until she was ready and she was incredibly thankful for that.
Like this she could get used to the situation, she could adapt and she didn't have to fear that something would go wrong since she was defining the pace. She could collect herself at any given moment if she needed to and wouldn't have to fear that he would judge her.
He had always been like this. A gentleman.
It had been the reason she had fallen for him, she suddenly remembered. He had offered her the umbrella, had stood in the rain and hadn't judged her one bit when she had hesitated. He had always approached her carefully and had been considerate of her shenanigans around him. She knew he had noticed when she had flailed around, Nino had told her. But he had acted like he didn't see it, to save her the embarrassment.
And now she just felt-… At ease. For the first time in months, she didn't have to pull up her shoulders. For the first time in months she didn't feel like throwing up when making eye contact with someone because they glared at her.
She didn't really know if that had been the reason for her to open up to him, out of everyone. Alya had apologized for her actions and Marinette had cut her off but with Adrien it had been different.
Was it that she was reminded of old feelings for him? She thought she had lost all emotional connections to him when he had reacted so coldly to her after her akumatization, after everyone had reacted so coldly. Well, justified, they all didn't know what really happened and they all reacted just like she would've reacted.
But-… Was it possible that there was something left for him? Was it possible that she still, after all this time, felt something for him?
She quickly denied it.
No, he wouldn't want to be with a murderer. He wouldn't want to be with her, ever. She knew he had been a big fan of Ladybug. She knew it wouldn't happen so she quickly had to forget it. She didn't want to hurt him by having a crush on him and she certainly didn't want to be hurt if he had to reject her.
Finally, she had calmed down enough again to talk to him and find out why he pulled a complete turn-around in his behavior towards her. She was pretty curious as to why people like Alya, who she hurt the most, and Adrien suddenly decided to apologize and help her.
"So…", she began, already hesitant, "… Why-… Why are you helping me now?"
He busied himself by fixing the collar of his jacket on her shoulders, careful not to touch her skin since he didn't want to scare her again.
"I-… I saw how bad it was getting around you and-… I realized that you were never at fault for what your Akuma did…"
She sighed, hugging herself as they went, a few droplets now hitting the pavement around them and a breeze playing with their hair. Soon it would rain again.
"W-Well, I was at fault for my akumatization… I hurt Alya…"
He shook his head, his arm which formerly just grazed over her back and shoulders now gently tightening.
"No, you're not at fault. It was a dumb comment by Chloé and, as Alya told me, a misunderstanding between you two. It was just-… Unlucky."
She humorlessly laughed at the word he used to describe how they had gotten here but kept it to herself. As much as she actually wanted to reveal to anyone who she had been by now, nobody would believe her. Adrien would probably laugh at her, take the jacket away and give her to one of the violent vigilantes that strolled around everywhere.
And she somehow felt like Chat should, had to be the first one to be told. She owed him that much for leaving him alone the past months. Plus, if someone else knew about her secret identity before Chat, they'd be unprotected because Hawkmoth knew who she was. It would be too dangerous to tell anyone without Chat being able to protect them and her.
And, well… What would it help? She better not risk losing Adrien as the first one who she opened up to in making him believe she was trying to lie to set things right again. So she stayed silent about that.
"… So you-… You said-… You acted like a jerk…"
"I did.", he was quick to respond, nodding to stress how bad he felt about it, "I-… I don't wanna be too fast or overwhelm you or anything but-… I'm sorry for how I acted these past months. I'm really sorry. I wanna make it up to you again."
She kept quiet for a while and he gulped, already preparing to run after her in case she got a panic attack like she got one this morning, with Alya apologizing. She had told him over the phone how that had gone.
"Marinette?", she lightly flinched and he cursed himself, already fearing it would end badly if he continued, "I-… I really didn't wanna overwhelm you, I-…"
He trailed off as she slowly shook her head.
"… No, it's-… Good to hear, actually… I-…", she sighed, "It's good to hear… But-… Why now? N-Not that I wanted it earlier or-… Or at all, since-… I'm not in the position to demand things but-"
He shook his head, taking a faster step to get in front of her and softly stop her, loosely holding her on her upper arms. He just let his hands lay on the jacket, signalizing her that he wouldn't hold her back if she wanted to step out of his hold, that he wouldn't harm her.
"No, no you are in the position to demand things. You are allowed to demand things. In fact, you should demand an apology from everyone trying to hurt you. From every single one. Because you're not at fault, you were akumatized. Every child knows Akumas are just the negative feelings. Everyone knows Akumas aren't these people anymore. Sure, these personas are a part of people, a dark but existing part, but most of Paris failed to understand that you are not Miss Fortune. Alya is not Lady Wifi but Lady Wifi was before and will always be a part of her. Chat Noir was an idiot for showing Paris a wrong example but you shouldn't suffer because of his stupidity, because he was idiotic and wrong and-"
Before he could resume she slowly contorted her face. The corners of her mouth tensed and pulled down and her eyebrows pulled together in a heartbreaking curve. Within seconds, tears flowed down her cheeks and she slowly sobbed one time. Then another. She lowered her head, leaning her forehead against his chest and beginning to cry. Adrien was quick to interrupt himself and hesitantly wrap his arms around her, gentle and light, not to hold her restrained. He felt she had been hold roughly way too many times in the last months.
It didn't last long. For that, she had held off her emotions way too long already and didn't feel safe enough around him, yet. She barely sobbed a few times, sniffling and breathing heavily for the rest of the hug. Her hands had slowly found a way to his stomach, her fists clenching into the fabric of his shirt. She probably didn't feel attached enough to him yet to hug him back.
After a few moments, she straightened up again and nodded gratefully, tears still flowing down her cheeks but her eyes already clearing up again and the lines in her expression softening. She brushed over her nose with her hand and shrugged embarrassedly, dropping her arms to hang by her sides, defeatedly.
"Feeling better yet?", he carefully asked, not wanting to urge her to let it out. Not yet. Not out in the open.
The bluenette managed a small smile, something Adrien hadn't seen on her since the day of Ladybug's death, and nodded.
"Yeah, relatively… Sorry."
"Don't be sorry.", he promptly blurted out, "It's-… It's okay, really… It's alright. Please-… Please feel free to do anything you want around me. Okay?"
Her gaze was cast down as she nodded this time and he waited for a few more moments before stepping beside her again, sliding his arm to its original position and nudging her to continue their path.
"Come on, let's get you home…", he mumbled, keeping her close when she shivered. They walked in silence again, neither wanting to speak first, until Marinette buried her hands in the pockets of his jacket, suddenly pulling something out with a surprised look on her face. Adrien observed as she recognized the bracelet she had given him all that time ago, when Max had been akumatized. It was her lucky charm that she had given him, for good luck during the gaming tournament.
Her eyebrows shot up and she wordlessly glanced up to him, knowing he watched her. The silent question lingered between them and Adrien nodded as an answer.
He still carried it around with him anywhere he went. He still had it. When he felt like he needed luck he would tie it around his wrist. Marinette's jaw fell at his little confirmation, glancing down to the bracelet again.
He kept it. He had kept it until this very day. He still had it.
A slight breeze played with his hair as she looked up to him again, a small smile as he watched the bracelet rest in her hand, obviously lost in thought.
Suddenly she saw the young boy in her room again, leaning back in her pink chair, telling her she was amazing. She didn't see the young man, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. She didn't see the sharply cut chin or the light stubble on his upper lip or the prominent cheekbones. She didn't see him as he was now. In the line of his eyebrows, in the curve of his nose and in the softness of his cheeks she could still recognize the fourteen-year-old boy. She could still see the kindhearted child, the shy boy waiting for everyone to have finished their sentences before speaking.
The boy who gave her the umbrella.
She felt her heart beat faster but turned away before it would become too dangerous.
She couldn't! She didn't even fully trust him, yet, how could that work?!
That was not happening right now, she didn't still have feelings and she didn't just develop new ones or revived the old ones or-… She was so confused! She still felt the fear of him leaving her in the dust, of waking up and this was all a dream, she was still not fully trusting him, so how could she already feel like this again?
The bracelet, that had to be it!
She had felt something, pulled out the bracelet and she had been surprised that he had kept it all these years, yes.
She was just surprised. She was nothing more than being surprised. She didn't just see the boy she had fallen in love with a long time ago in him. She just didn't!
And yet, her gaze found its way back to his face, his eyes still staring in the distant past. Did he remember how she had given it to him?
She followed the line of his nose up to his eyes, the green color richly shining through the tears that had gathered in the corners. And while probably recalled how she had given him the bracelet, she was thrown back even farther. Now she saw it clearly. He was still the same boy who had given her his umbrella. He was still the same boy, even as he had matured and, admittedly, treated her with ignorance. He had reacted humanly, Marinette knew that.
She would be a hypocrite if she tried to claim that she would've reacted differently if he had killed Chat Noir. She would have probably done the exact same thing. Not really called out on him. Or tried to hurt him.
But she wouldn't have been able to interact with him. She wouldn't have been able to do so much as look at him. She wouldn't have been able to hold eye contact.
He suddenly turned his head, breaking his gaze off the bracelet in her hand, his eyes suddenly meeting hers. Out of the corners of her eyes, just behind his head, she saw a summer lightning flashing in the distance. The thunder was left out, the storm not yet close enough for her to hear it. And yet, she remembered that time with the umbrella, when the thunder had rolled over the sky.
Coup de foudre, she thought to herself as her gaze flickered between his eyes, just like the first time when he had held out the umbrella for her, almost.
Adrien didn't even hesitate to tilt his head and speak up.
"Are you feeling alright? You look awfully pale.", she just continued to stare and he lifted his eyebrows, "Marinette? Do you need something? Water? Or-… Or anything else?"
She gulped, finally shaking her head, feeling a little dizzy.
"N-No, I'm fine…", she mumbled, trying to shake off the weird feeling she had gotten when he had held her gaze. Even asked if she was alright.
He didn't seem to buy it since he walked sideways now, an uncertain expression on his face.
"Oh-… Okay…", he tried but she didn't respond once again, so he turned up front. Though his eyes lit up as he glanced down the street, lightly walking faster.
"You must be hungry.", he said, "So lemme take care of that."