Chapter 21: Shattered Perfection
Death; it creeps in uninvited and unwelcomed. It permeated throughout the mansion like an autumn fog. It seemed to have crawled into everything and everyone, leaving an eternal stain that I was certain would never go away.
Storm called in an old friend and student of Xavier's. It didn't take long for the long white limo to pull up to 1407 Graymalkin Lane. I watched the entire scene play out from a window two stories up. Two women emerged from the limo. One dressed all in white, her attire nowhere near appropriate for a school and her hair was so blonde I was sure she at one time worked with Hugh Heffner. The other was Asian with long straight black hair. She was the complete opposite of her counterpart.
I moved from the window and made my way down the staircase to meet the woman who was supposed to help put everything back to the way it once was. I highly doubted her ability. So did many of the others. But what choice did we have in the matter?
I reached the end of the stairs. The two women stood quietly at the school's entrance. It didn't take long for Storm to come out of Xavier's office and greet them.
"Emma," Ororo whispered as she closed the distance between what was once Xavier's office and the white adorned woman. Immediately Storm wrapped her arms around the woman, pulling her in tight. I couldn't see Storms face, but I could hear the tears in her voice. "I am so sorry Emma. We were too late."
I've heard of a woman named Emma before. The White Queen they called her. I remember her briefly in our short time together in Stryker's base. From what I've heard she heartless, as cold as the diamond skin she can transform into. But as I watched her fall to pieces in Storm's arms I knew that even this diamond had a facture at its core.
"No, no, no," Emma all but yelled with such devastating heartache as she struggled against Storms strong hold. "He can't be gone!"
I realized then how lucky I was to not have to be the person Storm had to hold as I felt my world come apart. I also realized at that moment how much in love the White Queen must have been with Scott Summers. I knew as I looked at her face, her perfectly applied make up now running in black tracks down her porcelain skin, that if the same fate had become of Rogue I wouldn't have held it together any better.
"You lie!" she screams and pulls away from Storm. "He's still alive, I know he wouldn't-couldn't-"
She never finished her sentence before she was once again over come with emotions, crumbling to the floor in a desperate heap.
"Enjoying the show love?" The tall Asian woman asked as she slid up against me. I hadn't even heard her come across the polished wooden floors.
"Betsy."
"Remy."
Are acknowledgment of one another was simple, efficient and prompt. Just like our business arrangements in the past.
"Dis ain't a show dis Cajun care to have any heart to watch," I answered flawlessly. A sad smile crept across her face.
"Her love for him was unhealthy anyways," she said with a long heavy sigh. I looked at her; I suppose some loves are unhealthy, especially if that love is never returned.
"Ever love someone like dat?" I asked her knowing the answer fully well. This time there was no sad smile or heavy sigh. She just gave me a hard look. I returned it with a pot and kettle kind of notion. Because anyone who knew this Asian Assassin knew that her love for the famous Warren Warrington the third was just as unhealthy as Emma's and Scott's.
I looked back over to the crying blond as she struggled to gain some form of composure. Storm clutched her to herself on the floor. She tried hushing her as she stroked her long blonde locks. All it seemed to do was make her cry harder.
"So where is she? This Rogue of yours?" Betsy asked me. Her tone was harsh, almost on the edge of boredom. I could hear the slightest hint of an English accent behind her plain dialect. Something that has always thrown me off about her before.
"She be in da Med Lab with Sabertooth. No worries though. We got dem both strapped in real tight." I assured her as we moved from the bottom of the staircase. She seemed to know exactly where she was going. I didn't even have to guide her towards the hidden elevator that led to the lower levels.
Downstairs both Bobby and Kitty were waiting outside the Med Lab's swishing doors. Both looked at opposite walls. An entire world lay forever between the two young teenagers. I knew even then that relationship was beyond anyone's repair.
Kitty half stood as we approach but with a simple wave of my hand she settled back down. At the beginning of all of this I never would have expected Kitty to switch to team Rogue mid game. But then I hadn't expected half of what has happened to have happened. I guess that was some long forgotten sense of good triumphing over evil. But now as we enter the Med Lab I knew somewhere along the way after all the lies that have been uncovered and the truth bore for all of us too see that everything wasn't so black and white anymore. But then again I don't think it ever really was to begin with.
She didn't look real. Actually she kinda looked dead.
She was just laid out there on that hard metal table like a corpse. Of course Scott's dead body and Victor's unconscious one was only two slabs down didn't really help the matter any. I sucked in an unconscious breath as we neared her. She looked so white, so motionless, so…gone.
I felt my heart shudder.
"Hmm," Betsy murmured as she maneuvered around the bed in order to get closer to Rogue. "Her mind is racing."
Betsy places one finely manicured hand on either side of Anne-Marie's head. Her eyes close and her eyebrows furrow together in some form of concentration. Not even moments pass before Logan, Hank and to my surprise Mystique enter the Lab. My eyes flicker between the three new occupants. Hank doesn't say anything as he moves to the back of the Lab. He instantly begins to study something under one of the many microscopes that are scattered about.
My attention moves back to Logan and Mystique. I give Logan a pointed look. Logan just gives me a simple answer.
"She broke in-again."
"You wouldn't have let me in otherwise," Mystique snaps back as her eyes evaluate Betsy and Rogue.
"You would be surprised," Logan sighed out, "just use the damn door next time."
Mystique doesn't respond. She just keeps looking at Rogue. Her intensity bothers even me.
"Why did he do it?" The voice makes me jump. It's Kitty and I didn't even hear her enter after Logan. She's playing with the edge of her hot pink t-shirt. I can see her nervous demeanor from across the room. We all just stare at her. "Why did Sabertooth save her?"
Again no one says anything. No one really knows I guess. I chalk it up to another secret that the Rogue has been keeping from us.
"They were lovers once," Mystique states, "They had a very dysfunctional relationship. They were paired up after a mission out in West Texas went wrong."
She pauses and I know all about the mission that went wrong. The one with Carol that made her go insane. The mission that would ruin her life and distort everything she ever knew. Yeah I knew all about that mission.
"Weapon X thought Victor could keep her in better check. He could handle her episodes better than anyone. He did; after she finally settled down and the episodes stopped almost completely we realized to late their attachment to one another. They were reckless. They trusted only each other. They didn't care who got in their way, they did their job and enjoyed it. Almost too much. They had grown outside Weapon X's control. And Rogue was slowly growing outside of Victor."
Again she paused remembering what I suppose was Rogue's worst days. I could see her, so full of hatred and pain. I could see her so angry at it all. Mystique continued.
"Then something happened. I don't know what it was. No one really does. But one day Rogue just disappeared. It took Victor nearly a month to find her. She was hiding in the cab of Wolverine's pickup truck. The rest you know of course."
We are all quite again. No one says anything. Then Betsy sucks in a deep breath and her eyes pop open as she re-emerges back into the land of the living. We all took a hesitant and hopeful step forward.
"What did you see?" Mystique demanded. Yet her face was filled with such helplessness.
"I met Victor on her physic plain. He wasn't very helpful; all he kept doing was chanting 'I promised' over and over again. Other than that Rogue is so far deep in her own mind, I couldn't find her. It's going to take both Emma and I to find her."
Again I sighed. It could be worse. She could be dead or lost forever within her own mind. I glanced at the now blue Scott Summers and knew that yes, it could be a lot worse.
I took a seat in one of the rough iron chairs. I let my head fall into my hands. I am beyond exhausted from running across the world and back again. I ran my hands through my long hair and yet I knew I wouldn't sleep until I knew she would be okay. And I didn't know why I cared so much. I didn't know why I fell so hard for someone like her. And I don't know when it happened either.
I don't even know why I am even here watching her breath slowly. I don't know why I followed her into the one place I knew I would probably die in. To the one place I knew was a guaranteed end of the line for me. I didn't do things like this. I didn't make heroic gestures of undying devotion. I didn't know why I would do anything when it came to Rogue. And I think that's what bothered me the most about this whole ordeal.
"It's love."
My head shoots up at the voice. Almost everyone but Hank has left the Med Lab. I hadn't even noticed. A fact that bothers me even more than the whole me and Rogue thing. My eyes find the owner of the voice. Emma Frost. She's standing to the side of me looking at the dead body of Scott Summers from across the room.
"Que?" I question her. Her face never turns away from the uncovered remains of Scott Summers.
"Those reasons you've been asking yourself about, the ones you fought so hard against your natural instincts. The reason why you never gave up on her and never stopped searching for her. The reason why you did everything in your power to make she was safe and happy." She took a shuddered breath and let the tears fall. "The reason why you're in this very room even though you know you shouldn't be. It's all because you love her."
I know I said it once before. That I loved her. But at the time desperate for her, I needed her to be okay. But as Emma began to talk to me I now knew why I loved her. I loved her because, like me, she fought against her own instincts to save me in the end too. We were a paired match in so many ways. I couldn't help but want her, to be loved by her. She made me feel like everything was going to be okay and even this fucked up version of my self was perfectly normal as well.
"The things we do for the ones we love, non?" I finally respond back to her. She in turn finally looks at me.
"When she wakes up, don't hesitate. Don't let her go because the moment you do you won't ever get her back."
She walked off then to sit silently next to the man Emma Frost loved more than her own self. Looking at her crying silently by Scott I realized so much. What desperation looked like, true agony, the end of everything a person cared about. It was all right there.
Not ten minutes later Betsy and Storm came in through those swishing metal doors. Ororo immediately went to Emma's side. Betsy stood quietly by mine.
"What did ya see?" I asked her quietly. My voice is hoarse with such raw emotions that I never felt before. Betsy looked down at me. Her face was a mask to me. But I knew she was trying to decide what to tell me.
"Normally her mind would be filled with everything to do with Sabertooth," she paused for a brief moment then continued. "But instead every memory Rogue has about is fluttering on the surface of her mindscape. Below her protective surface is a mystery we're about to solve."
I then noticed Emma moving to stand behind Rogue's head and Betsy shifted closer as well. Together they concentrated, together they would both begin the process of discovering Rogue.
I left them there to do the work only a telepath could do. I wondered around the mansion for what felt like eternity. Until I found myself outside of Rogue's room. I realized that I had only ever been in there that one time, in the very beginning of all of this mess. She hadn't been very fond of me then.
Normally when you think of Rogue now a days you think trained assassin, government spy and murder. You would assume her room would be sparse, nothing that would indicate that she was ever even really here to begin with. But as I picked the lock to her room and I was pleasantly surprised. I had forgotten what it had looked like. It was like even Rogue couldn't hold back against the charm of Xavier's. A vibrant purple comforter lay across her plush bed, covered with a mix match work of pillows. Her walls were covered by a multitude of different music artists. Most I could tell were reflections from the people in her head. I traced a hand across her dresser. The top was filled to the brim with pictures of everyone at the mansion. And in every photo Rogue was in them, smiling with pure delight. Every picture showed a truly happy moment for her.
I studied them all; I don't know why I took so much time to memorize that gleeful expression on her face. But I had a feeling I would need it hopefully one day. After a while of studying her face I suddenly realized that hidden in the back of almost every picture was me. I was always in the back unaware most of the time that the picture was being taken. And in every single one I was looking right at Rogue. In the game room playing billiards, in the library playing cards, in the kitchen eating, by the fountain outside, in the garage, everywhere I was there watching her.
I took a step back from her dresser. I never realized that even before I knew the real Rogue that I was falling for her even then. Or as I should say more like stalking her. Either way somewhere along the line I became captivated by her.
I left her room, shutting the door quietly behind me. I left the only thing Rogue would ever leave behind in the whole world. The only thing that showed she even existed.
Eventually I found myself on the back patio. The mansion held an eerie feeling that seemed to consume even me. Logan was there sitting on the porch swing. It instantly reminded me of Rogue. Her and I sitting there eating meat loaf sandwiches. I was trying to figure out why we were always at such odds. Home, she had said to me, I reminded her of home.
"Hey," Logan grunted out and I was thrust back into reality. The memory of Rogue leaving me just as quickly as it came.
"'Ello Monsieur Claws," I say with lightheartedness but the sigh that escapes me at the end ruins my attempt. There's no point in trying to deny this part of me that's missing.
We sit in eternal silence. The fall of winds begin to pick up the dead leaves. They rustle around the ground in a beautiful dance of color. When did fall get here? I swear only yesterday it was July.
"She'll be just fine Gumbo," Wolverine says breaking the silence. But I have a hard time understanding who he's comforting. Me or him?
"Oui, dat be what da spooks say," I reply simply. Again silence falls down on us. It captures us in this moment and I fear it won't ever let us go.
"You know she put up a pretty good show. Even had me fooled," Logan tells me. This is a rare moment. He would never admit this defeat out loud.
"Oui, she's very good at lyin' even better dan dis old swamp rat."
"But why it was necessary is my question. She knew about you and me. We were both accepted. She would have been too."
I let out a deep sigh.
"Because she was still workin for them," I admit and see Logan's famous eyebrow shoot up. "She was the assassin they were sending after me."
The silence stretches uncomfortably as Logan processes the information.
"Explains a lot."
Then I assumed the conversation was closed and I wondered back down towards the Med Lab.
It was like watching a silent train wreck. No words were said, no tears shed. They just stopped being Bobby and Kitty. In only a matter of minutes it was like Kitty finally realized what being an X-Man meant. While Bobby still remained beyond his idealism's of everything.
I was back down near the Med Lab. I was just sitting outside, Kitty still in her chair. She never moved. It almost made me feel guilty when I attacked her in the X-Van. But only just.
"Is this what it feels like?" She asked me from her chair.
"What feels like petite?"
"Growing up. Is this what it feels like?" Her eyes have a hallowed look to them as I look at her. Her once bouncy hair is now limp. She looks years older now.
"Oui."
She nods her head once in confirmation. It's curt but it holds much understanding.
"I understand now," she says, "I didn't before but now I do."
The room goes quite along with Kitty's childhood dreams.
We lapse into comfortable silence and eventually the exhaustion of the mission catches up with Kitty. She falls asleep in her chair. Only minutes later Storm walks out of the Med Lad doors to sit next to me.
"Do you ever wonder what will happen?" She asks me. "Do you ever wonder what will happen when she wakes up? Will she be uncontrollable like before, lost completely within herself? Will Sabertooth have taken over? Will she remember us? Will she leave? Will they come for her? Will we be safe?"
She stops. I guess it's because she's realizing what she saying and who she's saying it too. But I answer her anyways.
"All the time."