Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas or Rick Riordan.
Enter Jacen, Danni, and Ben, on the Falcon, in Chiss Space.
As the Falcon enters Csilla's atmosphere, Danni nudges Ben awake.
Danni. We're here.
Ben takes a look at the ice world.
Ben. Tell me we're at Csilla, and not Helska IV.
Danni. Yeah, Csaplar, one of the oldest cities in the Unknown Regions. Founded around sixteen hundred or so?"
Ben. [raises an eyebrow] Your father do a holodrama about that, too?
Danni scowls at Ben.
Danni. I read sometimes, okay? Just because Yun-Q'aah claimed me, doesn't mean I have to be an airhead.
The Falcon comes near the House Palace.
Ben. Feisty. So you know so much, what's that castle?
Danni. A hotel, I think.
Ben. [laughs] No way. The god of winter is staying in a hotel? That can't be . . .
Jacen. Heads up, guys. We've got company.
Enter the Chiss: two humanoid males with blue skin, glowing red eyes, and blue-black hair. Their names are Thrass and Drask.
The Falcon growls uneasily at the appearance of the Chiss.
Ben. Steady, girl.
Jacen. I don't like this. They look like Force spirits.
The Chiss stop at the Falcon and survey their visitors. They draw their charrics.
Drask. No clearance.
Ben. Excuse me?
Thrass. [accented Basic] You have no flight plan on file. This is a restricted system.
Drask. [to Thrass] Destroy them?
Jacen ignites his green-bladed lightsaber, as the Falcon gets ready to defend its riders.
Ben. Hold on. Let's have some manners here, boys. Can I at least find out who has the honor of destroying me?
Drask. I am Drask.
Thrass. That's short for Prard'ras'kleoni. Sadly, my brother cannot say words with more than two syllables, which includes his own name.
Drask. I am Drask. And this is Thrass, my brother.
Ben. Bloah. That was almost three sentences, man. Way to go.
Drask grins.
Thrass. Stupid buffoon. They make fun of you. But no matter. I am Thrass, which is short for Mitth'ras'safis. And the lady there . . .
Thrass winks at Danni.
She can call me anything she likes. Perhaps she would like to have dinner with a famous demigod before we must destroy you?
Danni. [gags] That's . . . a truly horrifying offer.
Thrass. It is no problem. We are a very romantic people, we Chiss.
Jacen. Chiss? Do you mean, like, the sons of Thrawn?
Thrass. Ah, so you've heard of us. We are our father's gatekeepers. So you understand, we cannot have unauthorized people flying into his system on creaky dragons, scaring the silly mortal peoples.
Thrass indicates the mundane below, who look up at the Falcon with confusion.
Which is sadly why, unless this is an emergency landing, we will have to destroy you painfully.
Drask. Destroy.
The Chiss raise their weapons.
Danni. Wait. This is an emergency landing.
Drask looks down, disappointed.
Thrass. How does the pretty girl decide this is an emergency, then?
Danni influences Thrass's mind with the Force.
Danni. We have to see Thrawn. It's totally urgent. Please?
Danni charms Thrass with a smile.
Thrass. Well, I hate to disappoint a lovely lady. But you see, my sister . . . she would have an avalanche if we allowed you . . .
Danni. And our dragon is malfunctioning. It could crash any minute.
To help the deception, the Falcon begins to shudder.
Drask. No destroy?
Thrass hesitates, then winks.
Thrass. Well, you are pretty. I mean, you're right. A malfunctioning dragon — this could be an emergency.
Drask. Destroy them later?
Thrass. It will take some explaining. Father has not been kind to visitors lately. But yes. Come, faulty dragon people. Follow us.
The Chiss lower their weapons and escort the Falcon into the House Palace.
Ben. [to Jacen and Danni] I love these guys. Follow them?
Jacen deactivates his lightsaber, returning it to its form as an Imperial datary.
Jacen. I guess. We're here now. But I wonder why Thrawn hasn't been kind to visitors.
Ben. [scoffs] He just hasn't met us. [to the Falcon] Falcon. After them.
The Falcon, escorted by the Chiss, approaches the roof of the House Palace, where Thrawn's headquarters are.
Jacen. This cannot be good,.
Following the Chiss, the Falcon lands at the roof of the House Palace, an icy cavern where Thrawn lives.
Jacen, Ben, and Danni dismount.
Ben. Guys. Fix the cooling unit in here, and I would totally move in.
Jacen. Not me. Something feels wrong. Something up there . . .
The Falcon breathes flames.
Thrass. No, no, no. The droid must be deactivated. We can't have fire in here. The heat ruins my hair.
The Falcon growls.
Ben. It's okay, girl. [to Thrass] The dragon's a little touchy about the whole deactivation concept. But I've got a better solution.
Drask. Destroy?
Ben. No, man. You've got to stop with the destroy talk. Just wait.
Danni. [nervous] Ben. What are you . . . ?
Ben. Watch and learn, princess. When I was repairing the Falcon last night, I found all kinds of buttons. Some, you do not want to know what they do. But others . . . Ah, here we go.
Ben presses a button which contacts the Falcon into a durasteel cube about the size of a suitcase.
Er, yes.
Ben tries to lift it, but it is too heavy.
Hold on. I think . . . aha.
Ben presses another button, which creates a handle on which Ben uses to carry it.
Voila. The galaxy's heaviest carry-on bag.
Jacen. That's impossible. Something that big couldn't . . .
The Chiss step forward, their charrics drawn.
Thrass. Stop.
Ben raises his hands.
Ben. Okay. What did I do? Stay calm, guys. If it bothers you that much, I don't have to take the Falcon as carry-on . . .
Thrass. Who are you? A child of Kinetite, spying on us?
Ben. What? No. Son of Yun-Ne'Shel. Friendly mechanic, no harm to anyone.
Drask growls and sniffs Ben.
Drask. Smell fire. Fire is bad.
Ben. Oh. Yes, well . . . my clothes are kind of singed, and I've been working with oil, and . . .
Thrass. No. We can smell fire, Jedi. We assumed it was from the creaky dragon. But now the droid is a suitcase. And I still smell fire . . . on you.
Ben. [nervous] Hey . . . look . . . I don't know . . . [to Jacen and Danni] Guys, a little help?
Jacen steps forward.
Jacen. Look, there's been a mistake. Ben isn't a fire guy. Tell them, Ben. Tell them you're not a fire guy.
Ben. Er . . .
Danni performs a mind trick on Thrass.
Danni. Thrass. We're all friends here. Put down your weapons and let's talk.
Thrass. The girl is pretty, and of course she cannot help being attracted to my amazingness. But sadly, I cannot romance her at this time.
Thrass aims his charric at Ben.
Drask. Destroy him now?
Thrass. Sadly, I think . . .
Jacen. No. Ben's just a son of Yun-Ne'Shel. He's no threat. Danni here is a daughter of Yun-Q'aah. I'm the son of Sekot. We're on a peaceful . . .
The Chiss round on Jacen.
Thrass. What did you say? You are the son of Sekot?
Jacen. Er, yes. That's a good thing, right? My name is Jacen.
Drask lowers his charric.
Drask. It can't be Jacen. He doesn't look the same.
Thrass examines Jacen.
Thrass. No, he is not our Jacen. Our Jacen was more stylish. Not as much as me, but stylish. Besides, our Jacen died millennia ago.
Jacen. Wait. Your Jacen . . . You mean the original Jacen? The Healing Crystals of Fire guy?
Thrass. Of course. We were his crewmates aboard his ship, Outbound Flight, in the old times, when we were mortal demigods. Then we accepted immortality to serve our father, so I could look this good for all time, and my silly brother could enjoy limmie and nerfburgers.
Drask. Limmie.
Thrass. But Jacen, our Jacen . . . he died a mortal death. You can't be him.
Jacen. I'm not.
Drask. So destroy?
Thrass. No. If he is a son of Sekot, he could be the one we've been watching for.
Ben. Watching for? You mean like in a good way: you'll shower him with fabulous prizes? Or watching for like in a bad way: he's in trouble?
Enter Nen Yim, a catlike female with black hair and green eyes.
Nen Yim. That depends on my father's will. Father will want to see the one called Jacen.
Thrass. Then it is him?
Nen Yim. We'll see. Mitth'ras'safis, bring our guests.
Ben starts to move forward as Jacen and Danni enter Thrawn's headquarters.
Not you, Ben Skywalker.
Ben. Why not?
Nen Yim. You cannot be in the presence of my father. Fire and ice — it would not be wise.
Jacen. We're going together or not at all.
Nen Yim. He will not be harmed, Jacen Solo, unless you make trouble. Prard'ras'kleoni, keep Ben Skywalker here. Guard him. But do not kill him.
Drask. [disappointed] Just a little?
Nen Yim. No. And take care of his interesting suitcase until Father passes judgment.
Jacen and Danni glance back at Ben.
Ben. It's fine, guys. No sense causing trouble if we don't have to. You go ahead.
Nen Yim. Listen to your friend. Ben Skywalker will be perfectly safe. I wish I could say the same for you, son of Sekot. Now come. Grand Admiral Thrawn is waiting.
Nen Yim and Thrass escort Jacen and Danni into the Springhawk, the headquarters of Grand Admiral Thrawn.
Exit all.