Teagan walked the paths of Vigil's Keep after the dinner with the Grey Wardens, hoping the movement and gentle exercise would calm his agitated mind. He and his people had been at Vigil's Keep for a number of weeks now, beneficiaries of the generous hospitality of the Grey Wardens and the Arling of Amaranthine. Raelyn was fitting in nicely with the other mages, learning the arcane arts from the Warden Commander herself. Cris, Teagan knew, would be remaining behind; he was a Grey Warden now and as much as it pained him, Cris' place was here. Trent was working with Captain Garavel, working to keep Teagan's modest supply of men armed and battle ready. Teagan himself felt lost, adrift in a sea of uncertainty and uselessness. Drifting about Vigil's Keep without a purpose ate away at him. Teagan was accustomed to running a noble house; a small house, but not without work or people to care for. As he walked the grounds of the Vigil and watched the daily life of the residents unfold before him, he thought about what he could do to contribute. Nothing of substance was coming to mind and it grated on his nerves.

His mind, however, kept drifting back to one thing: the upcoming Landsmeet. With a little luck, his petition to the body regarding his upheaval from Rainesfere would be addressed. Eamon had seemingly gone mad; either that or he felt the need to openly challenge the power structure in Ferelden. It was something Teagan had difficulty understanding; to what end or purpose would engaging in such a power struggle serve? Ferelden had just barely survived both a Blight and a civil war and Eamon was still playing politics? Teagan surmised that Eamon had hoped for a malleable king in Alistair, someone who he could whisper 'advice' to in the hopes of having his—Eamon's—will be followed. That he challenged Queen Anora—who most everyone knew was the true power behind the throne when Cailan was alive—bothered Teagan. Cailan was family and part of Teagan felt betrayed by what had happened, but the truth of the matter was that while Cailan traipsed about Ferelden seeking the love and adoration of his people, Anora had been left behind to run the nation. As much as Eamon may be loath to admit it, Anora had done a fine job of it. However, that did not mean her father had been blameless during the uncertainty surrounding Cailan's death and the chaos that followed. Both Eamon and Loghain had done what they thought best to try and preserve Ferelden, causing war in the process. The fallout from the war still loomed large, even now. It likely would for the foreseeable future.

Teagan knew that the King intended to bring Eamon's actions during the civil war and Blight before the Landsmeet. There were a number of questions that needed answers; foremost among them was why Eamon insisted the darkspawn horde was heading to Redcliffe and not Denerim. Why did he seek to draw the bulk of the armies to Redcliffe? Why did he think the horde would ignore Denerim and the bulk of Ferelden's population in the east in favor of a battle in the more sparsely populated southwestern Ferelden? What reason could Eamon have had to concoct such a plan? Why had he not envisioned the horde's march to Denerim? If he did envision it, why did he ignore it?

It suddenly dawned on Teagan; there was something he could do to lend a sense of purpose to his situation: he could travel to the Bannorn and determine just who could be counted on as allies to Teagan, the Grey Wardens, the Crown, and Lhiannon herself at the upcoming Landsmeet. Those of the Bannorn who were wavering in their support for the Crown, the Grey Wardens, and their allies could be presented evidence of Eamon's meddling and misdeeds so that they could make a decision as to who they would support at the Landsmeet. Some would certainly see Teagan as a jealous younger brother angry over the loss of his lands, but he had faith that those who knew him would be sympathetic to his plight once they learned the reasons for his removal from Rainesfere, for his troubles with Eamon were symptoms of a larger scheme with greater implications for both Redcliffe and Ferelden. Unity was needed, especially now in the wake of the devastation the Blight and civil war caused. The last thing Ferelden needed was opportunistic conquerors massing at their borders, seeking to take advantage of their weakness.

Teagan saw that his feet carried him to the guesthouse that Lhiannon had so generously given to him and his entourage when they arrived at Vigil's Keep weeks ago. He entered the door and as he closed it behind him, caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw that Raelyn was in the parlor of the home, her arms wrapped around her waist as she paced the room, her face pinched in concentration. Teagan saw that she was dressed in a simple tunic and pants, her hair pulled back behind her in a tail and a slight flush to her cheeks. Teagan remembered that she had been training with the Commander in the arcane arts this day, which would explain her unusually casual appearance. She had missed the dinner at the Vigil, but he had not given it much thought until now, seeing her agitation as she paced the room.

"Raelyn," Teagan asked, his brows furrowing and a hint of concern in his voice, "weren't you supposed to be training with the Warden Commander today?"

With a startled yelp, Raelyn turned to face Teagan, a hand coming to her chest as if she were trying to stop her heart from beating its way out of her chest. "Teagan, you startled me! I was completely lost in thought. Yes, I was training with the Warden Commander today."

"And you finished earlier? We missed you at dinner."

"I missed dinner? Damn it all. I lost track of time." Raelyn brought her hand down from her chest, her heart finally beginning to slow. "Yes, the Warden Commander showed me a few things and then Second Loghain arrived with the news that the scouting party was returning." Raelyn paused, holding her hands up in emphasis. "The Commander's abilities are amazing, Teagan. I know learning about them is the right thing for me…" Her voice drifted off, her eyes seeking the nearby window and gazing outside.

Teagan felt his brows knit together, watching as a troubled look crossed Raelyn's face. She appeared to be concentrating on something that weighed heavily on her mind. "What is it, Raelyn?" he quietly asked, walking to stand before his friend and placing a hand on her arm.

Teagan's light touch on her arm broke into Raelyn's thoughts, causing her to quickly jerk her head toward her lord and friend. She saw the questions and concerns in his eyes and knew that keeping her musings to herself would do both of them a disservice. She had to be honest with him. "Teagan, I'm seriously considering asking to join the Grey Wardens."

Lowering his arm, Teagan watched as Raelyn crossed the room and stood before a large picture window, her hand coming to rest on the smooth wooden frame. The window overlooked a small garden outside, lovingly tended to by groundskeeper Samuel, the elven man that was a staple in the gardens around Vigil's Keep. He had gently coaxed the spring flowers into early bloom, preparing a number of them for the upcoming wedding of the Warden Commander and her Second. Tulips and hyacinths were opening, ready to join the daffodils that had recently opened. The lilacs were also budding and Samuel was working on both coaxing them to open in time for the wedding and cutting some of the smaller bunches of buds to be used for infusing oils and perfumes for the Commander and her Second's special day. It was no secret to Samuel that the Commander loved lilacs.

"You wish to join the Grey Wardens?" Teagan asked quietly, moving to stand at Raelyn's side as she continued to gaze out the window. He turned to look at her and saw the resolve dawning on her features. Raelyn nodded slowly as she continued to look at the flowers blooming in the garden outside. Two; Teagan would lose two of his closest friends and advisors to the Grey Wardens. A lump formed in Teagan's throat and he pushed it aside with difficulty.

"I do, Teagan," she said, her nods slowing until her head remained still once more. "The Commander has gone out of her way to help us, offering us sanctuary and support in the wake of Eamon deposing you; offering to share her arcane knowledge with me. This is my way to thank her for all she's done for us."

Silence reigned in the room for several minutes as the friends continued to gaze out the window at the spring blooms. It was Teagan that broke the heavy silence. "Becoming a Grey Warden is a calling; a permanent calling that once done cannot be undone. The Joining is dangerous, Raelyn," Teagan said, turning to look at her straight on, the concern showing heavily on his pleasant face.

Dangerous? Raelyn's brows furrowed, her face betraying her confusion. "What do you mean, dangerous?"

Teagan shook his head slowly, running his hand through his chestnut locks. "I was at the Landsmeet when Loghain was offered the Joining rather than execution." He paused, looking to choose his words carefully. "The Queen, Loghain's daughter, asked the senior Grey Warden in attendance to confirm that the Joining is often fatal. He did, in front of the entire Landsmeet." Teagan's eyes dropped, staring at the ground with a look of concern on his face. "I don't think the senior Warden was happy with such a revelation in front of an audience, but it had to be done; the King was ready to execute Loghain."

Stomach dropping, Raelyn slowly moved her head in Teagan's direction. "Fatal?" she whispered, scarcely believing it. "Becoming a Grey Warden is potentially fatal?"

Teagan put a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her so that she looked him directly in the eye. "You and I have been friends a long time, Raelyn. If this is what you really wish, I will not stop you, but I wished you to know the dangers you face and I ask you to seriously consider what it is you seek. I do not know much of the ritual other than it is extremely dangerous, and yes, fatal sometimes." Bringing his hand up to Raelyn's other shoulder, Teagan held her gently but firmly, his gaze boring into hers with a gentle intensity. "You have been a good friend and ally, and the thought of losing you is nearly too much to bear."

Silence again descended on the room, heavy and thick. Raelyn's gaze was focused on the floor, her gaze as far away as her thoughts. After several moments, she sighed lightly. "Thank you, Teagan," she whispered, emotion causing her words to thicken as she spoke. "Dangerous or not, I think this is something I need to do."

Raelyn closed her eyes for a moment, fighting the growing lump in her throat and the burn of tears behind her eyes that Teagan's words brought upon her. When she opened them again, Teagan's gaze had softened and a small smile crossed his features. "I will support you in all your endeavors, from now until the Maker parts us."

Squeezing her shoulders, Teagan caught Raelyn's gaze with his own and flashed her a warm smile; he was glad to see her return his smile with a small one of her own. "Well, in other matters, I've been thinking of traveling to the Bannorn to gauge support for our claims at the coming Landsmeet. I had hoped you would accompany me, but if you are seeking to be a Grey Warden, you'll likely need to remain here."

"Maybe, though, we can speak to the Commander about me accompanying you anyway," Raelyn said, her face beginning to brighten at the thought of being useful once again. She stepped back from Teagan, beginning to walk the room and gesture excitedly with her hands. "We know all too well that the darkspawn are still out in the countryside. She would likely want to send a Grey Warden with you, if only to warn you of the creatures. I know she is looking to take a number of Wardens with her to Denerim soon and likely needs to leave some here. It makes perfect sense for me to accompany you." She stopped suddenly, turning to Teagan with a look of high excitement on her face. "It's the perfect solution, Teagan. I can accompany you as a Grey Warden as you travel the Bannorn."

"But she may not want you to speak for Grey Warden matters, Raelyn," Teagan replied. "You would not be a senior Warden."

With a small shrug, Raelyn continued. "As long as I can keep you safe in your travels, that's all that matters to me. I'm sure that will be all that matters to the Commander as well. It's worth bringing to her attention."

"Commander, a word with you, if I may?"

Lhiannon looked up from her desk to see Teagan in her doorway, his hair still damp from a morning bath. The sun was just peeking through the windows of Vigil's Keep, still low in the sky and not clearing the distant treetops yet. Teagan had been up early indeed to have bathed, dressed, and arrived at the doorway to her office at this early hour. Then again, Lhiannon had been up early herself, though not necessarily by choice; Loghain was a notoriously early riser, up most days before even the roosters started crowing. Lhiannon had been a heavy sleeper before the Joining, but since then, sleep had become a precious commodity, light and fitful more often than not. Loghain's early rising to shave or bathe always woke Lhiannon well before dawn. She was glad that Anders had insisted that she improve her rejuvenation spells; his teachings had done wonders in the light of fitful sleep. Putting herself to sleep with a sleep spell made her uneasy, so she had opted for rejuvenation spells instead.

"Of course, Teagan," Lhiannon smiled, motioning to a chair across from her desk. "Have a seat."

As Teagan moved through the office, Lhiannon saw that his forehead was bunched, the lines pronounced and betraying the concerns that ran through her friend's mind. Lhiannon felt her own brow wrinkle in response. "Teagan, is something the matter?" she prompted quietly, watching as her friend settled himself in the chair across from her. Lhiannon reached for the carafe of tea that sat on her desk, pouring a cup and offering it to Teagan. He took the cup, nodding gratefully before taking a sip of the fragrant liquid, the warmth of the brew chasing the sudden chill he felt from his bones.

"You and the Grey Wardens have been most generous to us," Teagan began, running a finger over the rim of the cup, a slight rasping sound filling the emptiness in the room. "I, however, feel at a loss. I and my people have imposed on your generosity for longer than I had hoped."

"I am always willing to help a friend in need," Lhiannon said, leaning forward on her desk, resting on her elbows. "Always, Teagan. You need not concern yourself with being a burden…"

"But we are a burden," Teagan interrupted as he sat forward, his voice adamant and a hand slashing through the air, nearly sloshing the tea from the cup in his other hand. "We are a burden, Lhiannon." Teagan sighed and settled back into the chair, taking another sip of the tea he held. "I can't abide feeling useless."

"I can understand those feelings; I'm sure I would feel the same, in your place."

Teagan finished the tea in his cup in a single gulp, reaching forward to set it on Lhiannon's desk. She offered him a second cup, but he waved her off with a flick of his wrist. "I have been thinking, Lhiannon. I know what I can do to both feel useful and help us with upcoming Landsmeet."

"What would that be, Teagan?"

"I can travel amongst the landholders in the Bannorn to find who our allies are and who is willing to listen to reason."

Lhiannon's brows rose; she leaned forward, propping her chin in her hands and looking at Teagan with questioning and curiosity. "Tell me, Teagan. I'm interested in anything that can help us all at the Landsmeet."

A light knock on Anders' door drew his attention away from the workbench where he had been crafting more healing poultices. Many of the poultices were put into the stocks of Vigil's Keep, but others were often sold for the extra coin. With the repairs continuing to the city of Amaranthine and the Grey Wardens and soldiers needing armor and supplies, any extra coin was welcome and Anders' skills always brought in a healthy amount. "Hold on! I'm coming!"

Anders went to the door, opening it to see Raelyn on the other side. She looked radiant in a simple robe of deep green, trimmed with golden threads and her hair pulled back into a thick braid. While her clothing and hair looked radiant to Anders, he could see that her face was troubled, circles under her eyes as if she had a restless night with little sleep. He felt his brow wrinkling downward, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Raelyn. With a small, sweeping hand gesture, he ushered her inside, closing the door quietly behind her. "Raelyn, what is it?"

The mage had wandered over to Anders' worktable, her fingers running lightly and absentmindedly over the surface. She picked up one of the finished healing poultices, turning it over in her hand as her eyes skimmed the surface. Anders could see the tension in Raelyn's body, coiled up and ready to snap. He was about to ask his question again when Raelyn turned to him, her eyes locking onto his and a serious expression on her face.

"I want to be a Grey Warden."

A pit began to form in Anders' stomach, gripping him suddenly and by surprise. A feeling of fierce protectiveness overwhelmed him, seemingly coming out of the blue. The pit began to fill with dread; Anders realized in that moment that the last thing he wanted to see was Raelyn attempting the Joining. All he could think of was Mhairi, the Redcliffe soldier who died at his Joining. Mhairi had been a strong woman, could cut down darkspawn with a single swing of her great sword…yet for all her physical strength, she died at her Joining after taking a single drink from the chalice. Anders reached up and absentmindedly clutched at the amulet dangling from the delicate chain around his neck; the amulet that contained a bit of the blood from his Joining as a reminder of those who had not survived. He had had his, Nathaniel's, and Mhairi's names and the date of their Joining engraved on the back as a reminder of that day. The amulet seemed to double, then triple in weight as he held it.

"Why?" he quietly asked, his brow furrowing. He took a step closer to the mage, the feeling of protectiveness growing stronger as the distance between them closed.

Raelyn scoffed, an exasperated sound that was quickly followed by the shaking of her head. "I feel it's something I have to do, Anders. I need to feel useful; right now, I feel like I'm drifting aimlessly on a still ocean, not sure of where the current is taking me. I need a purpose."

"But the Commander is training you in the arcane arts," Anders said, holding his hands out in an urgent plea. "Isn't that a purpose? Why the Joining?"

"Yes, the training is fulfilling a purpose," Raelyn agreed, "but it isn't enough. The Commander and you Grey Wardens have been so generous to us; I thought that joining you would be my way of saying thanks. I want to help the Grey Wardens." She paused a moment, her gaze falling to the top of Anders' workbench where she began to absentmindedly stack the healing poultices in a neat pile. "Besides, I want to be free of the Chantry. If I'm a Grey Warden, I don't need to worry about the Chantry or templars."

"That isn't necessarily true, and you know it." Anders reached forward, grasping Raelyn's shoulders and turning her to face him, his fingers digging into her skin to leave small red marks there later. "If the Chantry wants you, they will try to come after you, Grey Warden or not. You've seen this first hand yourself, right here in this hall. No mage is safe from the Chantry or templars and to think otherwise is folly."

"All the more reason for me to join the Grey Wardens then, Anders, so I can better my chances of slipping through their grasp." She winced at the pressure of Anders' fingers on her shoulders. Seeing her grimace, Anders removed his hands from Raelyn's shoulders, turning away and beginning to pace the room. He ran his hands through his hair, brushing the earring in his ear as his hand passed by.

"Raelyn, please," Anders pleaded, turning back to look her in her dark eyes, "please reconsider. I can't…" He stopped, his words caught, his throat working as if the words had taken physical form and stopped up his throat. I can't watch her take the Joining. I can't watch her risk herself…what if what happened to Mhairi happens to her…

The brows on Raelyn's face lowered, a look of confusion crossing her features as she watched Anders seemingly struggle with her wish. His face had paled considerably; Raelyn found herself becoming concerned. "You can't what, Anders? I know of the dangers, but I'm willing to risk it."

Anders sighed, running his hands down the skin of his face, across his cheeks, and down to his neck. He debated telling Raelyn that the Joining could kill her. He debated telling her that he was just now realizing that the feelings of friendship and camaraderie that he held for her were beginning to move beyond those and into something more; that the thought of her risking her life in the Joining made his blood run cold. He opened his mouth to speak, but once again, no words came forth. They caught in his throat like the small bones of a fish, refusing to budge. Anders scoffed quietly to himself; he never had such problems with talking to women before; at least, he never did at Kinloch Hold. Mages told each other all sorts of things while they were hiding out in closets or in dark corners having quick rendezvous' right under the noses of the Chantry and templars. Of course, those were just words spoken in the heat of the moment, or words spoken to quickly get past the robes and down to business. This, Anders suddenly realized, was different.

"I'll go with you," Anders said, his voice low, resigned to the fact that no matter what he said, no matter how he begged or pleaded, Raelyn would not be swayed from her course. The least he could do, then, was support her. He steeled his shoulders, preparing to accompanying Raelyn to Lhiannon's office. He had to believe she would make it; the alternative was too heartbreaking to consider.

A small smile crossed Raelyn's face. "I'd like that, Anders. Very much."

"You are absolutely certain about this?" Loghain asked, his icy gaze moving between Teagan and Raelyn as they all stood in Lhiannon's office. Anders stood at the door behind Teagan and Raelyn, watching the proceedings with a face set in stone. To anyone not tainted, Anders would have looked seemingly impassive; to those who shared the darkspawn taint, Anders' roiling emotions were plainly evident. He was worried and exceptionally so under the stoic exterior he was working to project. "There will be no turning back from this point forward," Loghain continued.

"I am, Second Loghain," Raelyn stated firmly. "I ask to take the Joining and become a Grey Warden."

"What say you, Teagan?" Loghain asked, continuing the formalities of the ceremony. "As Raelyn is in your employ and the Right of Conscription has not been invoked, do you acquiesce to her wish?"

"I do," Teagan replied, nodding his head once. "Raelyn and I have spoken about her intentions and I have agreed to her request."

"And what say you, Warden Commander?" Loghain asked, turning to where Lhiannon stood next to him. She looked across her office at Teagan and Raelyn, seeing the grim determination on the mage's face and the silent support her lord imparted. After a moment studying her guests, she nodded once, turning to Loghain beside her.

"So be it then. Second Loghain, please ready the ritual," Lhiannon stated formally. "I would welcome Raelyn of Rainesfere into the ranks of the Grey Wardens." Turning back to her guests, she focused her attention on Teagan. "If it is your wish, you may step outside, Teagan. If you choose to remain, you are hereby sworn to silence. You will not speak of what happens within these walls."

"I wish to remain, Warden Commander, to support my friend. You have my vow of silence." Teagan turned to Raelyn, taking her hand and giving it a firm squeeze. "Maker watch over you."

Raelyn nodded her thanks, her attention focusing on Lhiannon as Teagan stepped back to stand next to Anders at the door. Once Teagan was in his place, Loghain turned and began to prepare the chalice for the Joining.

As Loghain prepared the chalice with the darkspawn blood, Lhiannon recited the words of the Joining ritual, watching as Raelyn nodded solemnly. After a moment, Loghain handed Lhiannon the chalice, the odor of corruption assailing her nose once more. Lhiannon exhaled through her nose, seeking to drive the odor out; no matter how many times she performed the Joining, the smell of the corruption was something she would never adapt to. She motioned for Raelyn to step forward and watched as Anders also moved up to stand behind Raelyn, most likely to catch her when she fell. And she would fall; everyone fell during the Joining. The question was: would she get up again?

Lhiannon handed the chalice to Raelyn, who grimaced at the smell of the corruption within the vessel. "Raelyn of Rainesfere, from this moment on, you are a Grey Warden."

Raelyn took a deep breath and raised the chalice to her lips, pausing for a moment before closing her eyes and drinking the corrupted liquid. The vessel began to tilt precariously; Lhiannon quickly reached forward and snatched the chalice as it fell from Raelyn's hand. Raelyn's eyes suddenly went wide and she took a deep breath, her mouth opening wide as if screaming a silent scream an instant before her body began to violently convulse. Her eyes rolled back into her head and a choked gurgle escaped her lips. As she began to falter, Anders rushed forward and eased her jerking body to the ground, his eyes wide with fear as a trickle of blood ran out of Raelyn's mouth.

A bit of filler in this chapter; I need to set the stage to close one story arc and set up the next one. Please bear with me; as always, I appreciate all your support!

Since Teagan was present at the Landsmeet, he would have witnessed the conversation between Riordan, Lhiannon, and Alistair regarding Loghain's conscription and Anora's question about the lethality of the ritual. That would be how he knows the ritual is potentially fatal, but not necessarily why.

Special thanks and appreciation go out to reviewers Tyanilth, Shakespira (hugs to you both!), Aura of Darkness Night, Wehaswallhacks, JackOfBladesX, sleepyowlet, Arsinoe, Dark Chubb, icey (hugs to you, me lovely), and Mystricka. I'm grateful to you all for your continued feedback and support.

Thanks as well to those of you who have reviewed or set as a favorite my other stories...it means a lot! And as always, thanks to all of you quiet readers! I'm thankful that you take a few minutes out of your day to follow the story.