If Only
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of an alternate ending to Love and Die in LA. Some Angst, some canon but mostly AU. All things are the same till the Gantz ending, Previously notes courtesy of Dust Jackets dot com.
I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only
A/N WARNING CHARACTER DEATH, SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF THAT UPSETS YOU
Chapter 20
Previously
Darlene and Kate take a stroll into Rick's office and 35 minutes they both come out smiling,
"Everything OK?"
"Everything's more than OK Rick, I just wish Martha could be here to see this" just as Kate finished speaking the lights went out in Martha's room, the fuse had blown or had it.
All they could do was laugh, Martha truly was a fore to be reckoned with, but her love and devotion for the family was always first and foremost.
Castle's Loft
Two Days Later 11:00 AM
Rick, Kate, Darlene and Alexis are sitting at the dining room table, waiting to leave for the funeral. The previous 48 hours had brought about some physical changes, but they were inconspicuous to the observer. The first big change was that Darlene had moved to one Guest Room, and Kate the other, flanking Alexis room. The three ladies had shopped, talked, cried, and tried to support Rick as much as they could.
Rick had been busy following up on the details, all carefully planned by Martha. Her wake read like a Broadway play manuscript with notes like Catering Staff enters now, keep liquor away from Chet, he is a fool when he get's high, Richard pay attention no more than 15 minutes for your beautiful words Son, I love them but others are still alive and have a life to get to.
Rick smiled as he read his mother's details, which was the one memory he would always keep in his heart, she owned any stage she played, regardless of what the playbill or call sheet order said. When hurricane Martha was there, she owned that stage.
Finally, the car arrived, and as they began to take their seats Kate sat apart from Rick, allowing space for Darlene, but was quickly reminded by a whisper in her ear when Darlene waited then took the seat Kate had been in and Kate moved next to Rick. Kate held Rick's hand, in support as they proceeded to Saint Michael Orthodox Church to say their final goodbye and allow her fans one last glimpse of the lady who was so colorful in life and work.
The service started with Father Francis, asking for a moment of silence rather than a prayer per Martha's wishes,
He then spoke for a brief time about the qualities of life, and how we all should seize the opportunity for happiness, and never settle. Kate held Ricks hand discreetly, and gave it a slight squeeze,
"According to Martha's wishes we will now hear a few words, and I'm sorry Rick she wanted me to repeat Few words from her son Rick Castle" smiles and gentle laughter filled the sanctuary, of people who were fans of Martha to a complete section from the 12th precinct honor guard and many officers and detectives Rick recognized, including Captain Montgomery, the boys, and Lanie.
Rick reached inside his jacket pocket for his notes and received a kiss on the cheek from Alexis, as Kate squeezed his hand one more time and Darlene smiled.
He reached the podium in a few strides and took a moment to collect himself as he saw the flowers adorning the casket below, it hit him, Mother is gone.
"Friends, Fans, Patrons of the arts, We the family of Martha Rogers wish to thank you for your support during this time of grief, it means more than you know.
A reading from the book of Ecclesiastes
To everything there is a season, a time for every
matter under heaven; a time to be born,
and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
-Ecclesiastes
We are gathered here today in the memory of my mother, Martha Rogers, to acknowledge and share both our joy in the gift that her life was to us, and the pain that her passing brings. In sharing the joy Mother would have wanted you to focus on that, and in her words would say, "I've had a hell of a ride, so no tears for me".
Martha was 76 years young and would cringe if she knew I gave her true age, Sorry Mom, when she died on Monday, May 6th. It's always hard to say goodbye. We wish that we had more time, even though for the last 6 years she lived with my daughter Alexis and I and on some days well (he pauses and a slight chuckle goes through the church) even so perhaps during the time we had we could had spent more of it together. We are thankful that that so much of her life was not lost to her illness, and that she had the stamina of a woman half her age. We take great comfort in knowing she is at peace and that her struggles are at an end, and if she were here, she would add I did it my way Kid, as smiles come over the faces of the audience. But even though she is gone, she has left the legacy of her love and perseverance. The ways she touched our lives will remain, and I ask you to keep those memories alive by sharing them with me and with one another.
One of the most important things in Mother's life was family. She was a single Mother at a time when it wasn't socially acceptable, and she paid the price both personally and professionally. Many times, her roles would be cut, once her personal situation was discovered, and as a youngster, I will admit I added several layers of pain to her life. Her response was to love me even more and set out with new resolve for a better role, that's the drive that defined her and the confidence she passed on to my daughter and me.
She acted in hundreds of roles, and it wasn't until I was an adult I understood why she was so passionate about each part she was portraying, be it the lead, or the crazy granny who was killed offstage, somewhat autobiographical was the joke in our house, (as chuckles spread again) It was because these roles were her escape from the ugliness of life, the slams, the shameful words, the worries about finances, and later worries if I would do something stupid, well stupid enough to hurt me. For about 120 minutes when she was on stage, she was away from all of those things, and she transformed before your eyes into the character on the paper she was acting from. She was free, and she let her talents soar.
She was a perfectionist when it came to the theater, you can ask my poor daughter Alexis how many times she ran lines with her as I found any excuse to leave, sorry Mom, sorry Alexis, but the truth of the matter it was during these times she instilled her value system for hard work into my daughter. As I became a published writer, I could always count on one critic to keep me level headed, Mother would not stand for any Ego, her words, "God loaned you that talent, and he can give it to someone else in a heartbeat if you get too pompous and arrogant." I even have the Director's Cut sheet she prepared for this, her wake, and one passage reads, "Keep it short Richard, you're important to me, to others, not so much" (as the congregation broke out in laughter)
We were not members of any specific church, yet Mother found time to take me to Sunday Schools, Mass, and even some Middle Eastern Religious festivals, instilling in me that God is within us all, just in different forms. Of all the great works that she has performed she asked this passage be read,
"Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened", - Dr. Seuss
This is a wonderful legacy. This is a wonderful example to follow. Keep focused on what is truly important, not only when your life is easy, but when it is difficult too.
And in closing, I am honoring Mother's wish to keep this timely, we want to thank each of you for attending. A reception will be held in the social hall across the street, immediately after Reverend has concluded the service'
Thank You All," then looking toward heaven, Rick smiles kisses his fingers points to the ceiling and mouths, Thank You Mother and steps down from the stage.
He was greeted by Kate who held him as he gently wept, then composed himself and sat down. Alexis wiped her eyes and mouthed "I love you Daddy" and Darlene smiled and blew him a kiss from her fingers,
"What a moving and wonderful tribute from a son to his Mother, I'm sure she would be proud of you Rick, and as we close our service today, let us remember that life is never a straight paved freeway for any of us, when you're trying to get up that mountain, remember Martha and all the obstacles she overcame, that would be the greatest way to honor her and her memory. May we have a moment of silence please,"
After about two minutes of silence, "This concludes the service for Martha Rogers as Rick has mentioned the family is hosting a reception across the street, Thank you All and Go in Peace"
The family filed by the casket on the way out and Rick lingered a moment, Kate on his arm as they filed past, he could almost hear Martha saying, "Well it took you long enough Richard, I told you to kiss that girl when you were both young, not when I was dead" and he gently smiled as he escorted Kate out of the church followed by the remainder of the mourners. Rick hadn't realized but the cathedral was packed to the limit and they had set up speakers for those gathered outside the church who could not get seats.
As soon as they were outside the church, Alexis brought them all into a group hug,
"Great Job Dad, Grams would have been proud of you"
"Thanks Pumpkin, that was the hardest speech I have ever had to write or deliver"
"I'm proud of you too Rick, I know that was so hard for you, as she hung on to his hand," Kate whispered
"Kate can you do me a favor", Darlene asked,
"Sure, if I'm able Darlene, what is it"
"Let go of yourself and just love Rick, don't worry about me, I love him, You are IN LOVE with him, so your time starts now, OK?"
Kate takes two steps and hugs Darlene and whispers something to her,
"I know you will, like someone told me, if we weren't meant to be, at least I'm glad someone who is loves him as much or more than me is going to be with him"
"Rick, this is your time to reconnect, I'm going back to the loft and start making arrangements for the changes, call me if you, any of you need anything, I love you all"
He holds her for a moment, "Best Friends Forever, Right?"
"Right" she says and gently kisses him good bye
TBC