Chapter 21: desires

This story is by girldoctor

Thomas Harris owns the characters. no comments. no excuses. no reasons. but heres the story...

" Hannibal, have you killed anyone? " The words were out of her mouth before she could think about the precautions. Before she could think of the threat they carried. Before her brain reminded her she was in the presences of a dangerous mind.

The two questions lingered in the air like a bad after taste, Hannibal thought. His bright red tongue came out, briefly, like it had a mind of its on. It touched his top lip and then retreated back into Hannibal's dark mouth. His tongue tasted, savored, the air surrounding him and Clarice. Earning a noticeable, shiver, response from Clarice. On the outside Hannibal kept a calm and un dented appearance. On the inside his mind ran fiercely, serching for every possible outcome this conversation would have. Searching for every possible outcome this day would bring as it ended.

# # # # # #

"Clarice, I wonder are you in love? "

The question pounded in Clarice's ear. She could hear the throbbing of her own pulse. She could feel her cheek growing warmer and warmer, becoming quite flushed. In her brain the question, "Hannibal have you killed anyone?", haunted her thoughts.

Her breathing stopped, temporarily, as if her respiratory system was waiting for a answer from him as well. Her heart tighten up. It felt like her hand had reached into her chest and squeezed her heart, to stop it from beating, to stop the sound, just so she wouldn't miss Hannibal's answer.

# # # # #

No sounds existed in the bubble Hannibal and Clarice created together. Time was suspended as their eyes held each other whole. It was only them two in the whole world. No other existed. No problems needed to be fixed here in their bubble. They were both free here.

For Hannibal it was just her wonderful eyes and her flaming red hair and the promise of a answer to his much awaited question. For Clarice it was Hannibal's eyes alone that kept her from falling to pieces. His presence held her still. She was indeed in the presence, no matter what his answer, of something inhuman. They both continued to watch, to study, each other as the silence surrounded them. Outside their bubble... the world still spins, hour hands and minute hands still ticked on clocks, cars still drove by and people still spent money.

Hannibal refuse to make the first sounds. He did ask his question first after all. He looked calm and collected, however, he didn't feel calm. They were in quite the dilemma. Hannibal's mind raced as he felt a surge of intense pain deep within his muscles. The pain, almost a urge, he fought by using much restraint. His body fought against him hoping, waiting, wanting, to reach out for her. It was becoming difficult to fight off. She looked so beautiful as she tried to assert herself. Her bangs were slightly out of place. Her cheeks red. Her hand clutched her heart. He didn't think she noticed that particular reaction from her body.

He couldn't fight it no more. She brought out something inside of him. Something he couldn't explain, not even with his highly intellectual vocabulary. He got as close to her as he felt he was allowed too. He reached out with his hand slowly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Her hair was so soft. He knew her body was so breakable, and tender. O how his mouth yearned to tell her she was beautiful, beyond comparison. She conquered him.

"Clarice forgive me for breaking the silence, however, I do believe I asked my question first. " He paused. His eyes locked at her image, unmoving. "Tick tock" , He taunted.

# # # # #

Clarice would have blushed, from his touch, if she hadn't already been. She realize her hand clutched her chest rather wildly. She forced her hand away, leaving her shirt a bit wrinkled. " I can't... " Clarice spoke timidly, causing Hannibal's heart to leap in his chest with much anticipation. She involuntary leaned in a little closer to Hannibal. She whispered the words, "you answer my question first," as if she was in a room full of people and didn't want them to overhear.

" I am afraid that's not how the game works Clarice. Now enough of this. Answer the question." His voice became a bit more serious and commanding. A warning, explicit in his voice.

"Listen, " Clarice pleaded desperately. Her eyes watering a bit as Hannibal cut her off, rather harshly, "I'll listen now Clarice. I have been more than patient. I have indulged you with this," he held the folder in his hand, "tedious folder. Haven't you considered the possibility that you do not want to know the answer you seek? Do you know why you do not want to know the answer? Hmm?" Hannibal put his head in his hand, resting, for a second than lifted his face to look at Clarice. " I will listen to your answer now Clarice." He seemed to be in deep thought as he added, "finally."

"Ok," Clarice pronounced the two syllables slowly. She took a few deep breaths and held them in. Her heart raced as she tried, with no success, too calm herself. She knew she wasn't ready to answer his question yet. She had just admitted it to herself. She was head over heels in love with Hannibal Lecter. She wanted to hold on to her feelings and keep them to herself for now. Let her have time to let the thought settle. She knew that she had never felt this strongly about anyone, besides their was a chance he was a killer. Clarice shook with the thought. Clarice still held on to the hope that he wasn't a killer though something deep inside her ,like a warning that sent shivers running down her spine, told her he was.

Perhaps, she thought, he would like a taste of his on medicine. Clarice grinned mischievously she hoped it didn't show. She wanted to make him as frustrated as he made her by giving him roundabout answers.

"I would be lying if I denied their wasn't something there... " Clarice's voice trailed off in a suggestive way. Let him come up with his on conclusions from that answer. Clarice, in the seclusion of her mind, patted herself on the back.

Hannibal looked amused, " How delightfully clever Clarice. What a charmed way, yet annoying, to bypass my question." Clarice knew Hannibal enough by now to know that he appeared amused on the outside but on the inside something dark was brewing.

Clarice felt like her answer to his question would suffice good enough and now it was... "My turn!" Clarice spoke without missing a beat, " Did you kill people like the file suggest?"

# # # #

"Exactly, Clarice, like the file suggest. Suggest being key word. Doesn't that answer your own question, Clarice?" Hannibal looked rather amused with their conversation. His Venus was his equal in every way. It made his heart race with wanting.

"Whose bypassing questions now?" Clarice asked. Her mouth looked a bit pout. Like a small child not getting her way. Whatever it was Hannibal couldn't take his eyes off her.

" Clever Clarice I love it. However, I wanted a simple yes or no. I expect you wanted the same, yes?" Hannibal smiled as his eye glazed into Clarice's wonderfully blue eyes, he knew he could see her soul through her eyes.

" Yes. " Clarice spoke, than looking like she had second thoughts she added, " no. "

She looked to be in conflict. " I don't know if I want to know", Clarice spoke with a grimace.

" Hmm, yes there's always a chance of that. " Hannibal was growing wary, " Perhaps, it's best if we were to move on, back to my question?"

" My question is very important. " To her he knew this was true. She had high misplaced morals on a institute accumulating corrupted politics he knew that that institute that she loved so much right now would one day turn its back on her.

" Very important for what exactly Clarice? Very important with your future with the FBI ? Or perhaps very important with your future... relationship wise? Clarice be careful your non spoken answers are showing." He left it at that while he watch her blush.

# # # # #

Clarice glared at Hannibal. He was taunting her again. More games. She sighed. She was getting a uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. She yearned to know his feelings as well. She felt a strong curiosity. "Alright, " she blushed. "How about you? How do you feel?"

" Hmm? Your good." He smiled. "How do I feel Clarice?" She nodded.

"How do you feel about me?" Clarice blushed deeper. Hannibal was watching her so closely.

" How do I feel? At the moment. I feel frustrated. Even with my illimitable knowledge it seems somehow you have turned my own question, meant for you, onto me. That won't do. Beside, where is the fun in admitting what I already know?" Hannibal, watching Clarice's every move, gave her a wink.

Clarice still blushing. She started clutching her heart again. " Am I in a room with a killer?" Clarice asked once again.

" We are all in rooms with killers, of some form, Clarice. Everyone thinks about killing someone at some point in their life. Look at yourself, your dream is to make it all the way to the F B I. You will somewhat, make a metaphorical metamorphosis from school student to a FBI killing machine. You will shoot people. So you as well will undoubtedly become a murderer." Clarice thought, she probably imagine it but for one second it sounded like Hannibal had regret in his voice.

" That is different." Clarice argued.

# # # # #

"Clarice enough talk!" Hannibal was growing frustrated with their new subject. How did they get so side tracked from the original questions? He didn't feel like he had the time, nor the energy for that matter, to sit and explain to Clarice how her future killings and his really are not that different. After all didn't he kill the bad guys too? That conversation was meant for another time. Clarice no doubt would spend countless of hours arguing with him during the whole process. It would be a very tedious subject.

" I didn't cut someones live out!" Clarice blurted out. She almost, involuntary covered her own mouth. Hannibal licked his lips deliciously.

"O goody. Are you suggesting I did? Who is stalking who now Clarice? This has become quite tiresome. I do not wish to ruin this lovely evening with you. I may not get another chance, Clarice." It sounded like there was something sad deeply hidden in his voice, even to his on ear.

Hannibal seemed to be contemplating. He sat, with a thoughtful expression. Waking up from his own pondering, he signed "Will you go out with me, Clarice? You have indulged me with going out with me before. Do it again, please?" He seemed to be falling back into his calm thoughtful state. He remained silent for a few seconds more, as he observed her face. She had anxious writing all over her features. He ran his eyes over her entire frame before he added, "I will answer both questions Clarice."

# # # #

Her eyes lit up with his admission of answering all questions. She smiled despite herself, "Where too?" She still wasn't sure whether or not she was in the presence of a killer. Although she did have her gut feeling. Her brain was telling her to run, but her heart was telling her to stay. She knew without a doubt she was in love with him. She couldn't deny how the glare of his eyes in her direction stirred a fire like desire in her.

" Dinner here at my place." He looked at her hopeful.

" Anything exotic?" She blushed after she said that. She was only throwing out the words he used to her, during her first time in his dorm. Now that she had read his file though...there was a unasked question in the air. Was he a Cannibal?

Hannibal smiled at her. "Tsk Tsk, you are not suppose to ask it ruins the surprise." He teased, " I promise nothing out of the ordinary Clarice. I am a good chef you should consider yourself lucky." He gave her a big smile that caused a shiver to run through her body.

" Um, should I help? Is it already prepared...were you expecting me?" Clarice grew suspicious.

# # # #

" Yes you may help by being agreeable Clarice. I bought you a few items. I left them in the bedroom to the east. Please indulge me in this." He watched her as her eyebrows shot up at the mention of him buying her something.

He studied her. He never answered to much questions, however she was being un naturally agreeable so far. There was something about her too. There was a constant need, deep within him, to keep her near him. That part of him that felt like gravity was pulling him toward her felt like complying to all her wishes. So for now he gave into that part of his being, " No, nothing but the ingredients is prepared." He gave her his famous evil smile that she knew so well..." and Yes I was expecting you, after all you had to return my pen"

They stared at each other for a while, "Knock, Knock" Hannibal sighned once again, a interuption. This time he wasn't expecting one though. They both looked towards the door.

# # # #

The knocking was loud and intrusive, but no louder and more intrusive than the voice behind the door. Hannibal wince at the recognition and Clarice glared at the door. " Hanni, Hanni I know your in there. I saw your car."

"Should I leave Hanni?" Clarice teased. A snicker in her voice. She grew scared with the look Hannibal shot at her. It chilled her bones. It also made her feel relieve. He, as well as her did not like this intruder intruding in their bubble. Miss Rachel DuBerry was very unwelcome here.

" I will handle this" Hannibal stood up, "Please Clarice, go the east room and get dressed. You may take a bath as well, if you wish. There is one connected to the bedroom. "

As he walked toward the door. Clarice watched his back closely. She was lost in thought. Apparently his gift he had bought her was clothes, and he wanted her to take a bath, here. In his apartment. Her mind was racing with inappropriate thoughts. All of which was interrupted by a growl, she woke up from her day dreaming. Hannibal was glaring at her, "Please." She hasty retreated down the east hall.

# # # # #

Hannibal, hiding a hiss, open the door to glare at the woman behind it. Rachel, upon seeing him, let out a breath as in relieved he finally answered.

" Ah Rachel, " He blocked her from entering the room. He knew he was being a bit rude but Hannibal really didn't want to ruin his evening with Clarice. " I am afraid, you have caught me at a most unfortunate time. I am currently entertaining a special guess this evening."

Something cause him to stop speaking. He study the hall behind her. Something was amiss. He smelt that sweat scent again. The one he caught on that poorly dressed man who he had assumed worked in the gym. Yes that was the scent. The man had been drenched in that cheap cologne smell.

Hannibal smelt sweat and a absents of fear. This unknown man could be quite dangerous. He was still near by. Perhaps in the lobby waiting. Waiting for Clarice? His mind raced with possibilities and reasons.

Rachel who looked like she was going to faint with rejection made a coughing sound to regain Hannibal's attention. " Hanni, " She started however Hannibal held his hand up to stop her from talking. He was rather annoyed by her presence at the moment. " Perhaps you should come back at a more opportune time hmm?" He backed up and close the door without even glancing in her direction. He had more pressing thoughts to deal with.

Rachel wasn't apparently ready to give up yet for the knocking sound came back immediate after the door closed. Hannibal trying his hardest not to roll his eyes, re answered the door..."Ahh now you are being quite rude dear."

"Hannibal what about us?" She asked sadly, " You can't treat me like this. I am your girlfriend now."

Hannibal raised his hands again, annoyed. He knew after this he would lose her friendship. That didn't hurt his feelings, at all. She was merely a accessory he sometimes choose to wear during big events. He didn't think of her or anyone, until Clarice, in that manner before.

He was a gentleman though and she was someone he had taken to his bed a few times, but she had always made the first moves and he merely went along with it to teach her a lesson. The last time he invited her to his bed, that night he broke into Crawford's office, was different he knew, she had probably mistook it as love. His mind was with Clarice the whole time. His burning desire at that time was because of what he felt for Clarice. Rachel had obviously miss took it too mean more. He would let her go more gently than he originally intended, " I believe I have never applied us together using those sentiments, not now and not ever." He made to close the door again, "now if you will excuse me."

He closed the door on her once again. He got this odd feeling in his chest. He knew that would be the last time he would ever see Rachel again. With that thought, he couldn't help but feeling he had close the door to that chapter in his life. No more carrying unknown women with him to events and letting them hit on him. No more following other women wishes of him taking them in to his bed. No, for now on all of that would be especially reserved for his true hearts desire.

Hearing the splash of water coming from one of his bathrooms filled his heart with wanting. It also reminded him of what he was getting ready to do before Rachel interrupted. He needed to start preparing his and Clarice's dinner. He also had some other thoughts that needed attending to... the man in grey.

# # # #

Somewhere in the dark, Jame Gume sat and waited for the pretty girl with the hair. He had borrowed a van, it was park in the parking lot under a street lamp that just turned on. He had the van, he had the basement, he had the tools all he needed now was the victim.

He knew she was up there in one of the overly priced dorms. He grew more angry as he waited on her. What was she doing the little slut. It was growing darker and she hadn't come out to go to her own dorms yet. She didn't deserve Nathan and she didn't deserve her beauty. He deserved it. His thoughts fed his desires to kill her as the evening turn into complete night.

Fumming and feeding his own anger, while growing more impatient and bored, he wouldn't be able to take this much longer. But he didn't want to chance walking the halls of the dorm building again. Suddenly his eyes caught something that looked familiar. It wasn't the girl with the pretty hair but it was a girl he had admired. He had liked her skin. She was walking outside now, tears in her eyes.

This could be his opportune moment. He could turn himself into a woman using this woman's skin. He could make the object of his desire love him. As the beauty walked past him, he immediately started following as they both left the comfort of the thinning lights of the various street lamps.

His hand out stretch as if he was reaching for her ... tonight she would be his ... his hand came closer almost touching her back ... tonight his plans would start ... he was so close ... tonight a monster would be born.

Hope you enjoyed the update. Also how does everyone feel if this story was bump to M ratings? Cause I can't help but feel the next chapters might be graphic...

-Seriously need to know if the readers are okay with a bump up in the ratings, need to know before I can start on next chapter... Thank yall. And YAY I have internet again!

girldoctor.