Disclaimer: See 1st chapter.

A/N: As always thanks for the reviews.

Chapter Twenty One: Couldn't Take It

Faith laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, a shaft of moonlight shining through the window to give her an eerie aura of bluish white. Cuddling up beside her and sleeping soundly was Buffy, her face serene and peaceful as she rode the waves of whatever she was dreaming. She glanced down to her and smiled, then slowly inched out of bed. The blonde pouted and snuggled to her pillow, burying her face in it because of the smell. The brunette tip toed around the room slowly, putting on her jeans and red tank top. She put on her boots and grabbed up a bag, then looked back to the mother to be again.

"Sleep tight, B." Leaning down, she kissed her lightly on the lips. "Don't hate me later."

"Mmm cookies..." The blonde murmured, still asleep.

Faith chuckled silently and shook her head, then stole quietly out of the room. She made her way downstairs and stuck a few weapons into the sack, then sneaked out of the house. As she walked down the dusty dirt road towards the meeting place, she lit up a cigarette and inhaled. Bushes rattled and animals gave their calls, but she ignored them. Too hyped up to focus on anythin' but her own thoughts.

She wasn't goin' for Discorida but if she took him out, she wouldn't cry over it. He was the ring leader after all--the big dog. Still she wasn't stupid enough to think she could take 'em out on her own. If he could do what he was doin', he had to be pullin' major rank in the demon hood. Though if say while goin' down she could kill him as well--yeah it'd suck but as far as consolation prize she wouldn't complain. B and Maddie would be safe, and that's all that mattered.

Blowing out a smoke ring, she reached the end of the long path and started off into a field. Her big doe eyes could see the flickering flames from the fire, and she could smell the burning twigs and grass. Venturing closer, she spied Kennedy and Robin sitting on the ground, whispering to each other while Andrew set up what he needed for the spell. They all looked up when she walked up, giving her a nod.

"Sup? We ready to do this or what?" She grinned, showing off her dimples.

"Yeah. Though Andrew has already chickened out three times." Kennedy mused. "I can't get anymore pep talky, really."

The small blonde man frowned slightly. "Well excuse me for not wanting to deliver some of my bestest friends into the hands of horrible and most assuredly icky death. Not to mention when Buffy finds out I opened the portal she is going to beat me over the head with something blunt."

"We'll tell her I made ya do it." Faith replied with a smirk. "Which ain't far from the truth..."

He sighed dramatically. "Are you guys completely positive that you wish to do this? I mean there has to be another way. A way that is safe. A way that doesn't involve someone losing a muchly needed limb."

She shrugged, kicking at a rock. "Yeah, we could wait and see. But call me crazy cause I don't wanna wait an see B get skinned alive or whatever. I don't wanna wait and see more people that I actually kinda care bout die." A pause. "Sides this ain't the first time I've went up against the beast. I took out Angelus and he wasn't rainbows and lollipops."

"I just--I don't wanna be the reason Buffy ends up sad if you don't make it."

"You won't be. She'll blame me..."

"And you're okay with that?"

"If I'm dead I'll have to be."

"How about our motto be go team, don't die?" Robin suggested as he stood up.

Kennedy nodded with a smile. "Sounds good to me. Willow will kill me if I die...I mean...well you get me."

The ex con snickered. "Aight let's do this. If I live I wanna be back before B wakes up."

Andrew scrunched up his nose but nodded, lifting the heavy brown book that he'd brought with him. He poured a bottle of oil onto the ground and rattled his chicken bones, reciting the incantation out loud three times. A swift wind kicked up, tossing dust and rocks around in a small circle. It then began to grow, imploding upon itself before becoming a shimmery wall of sparkling, almost metallic light.

"Hmm okay so there it is." Andrew murmured. "It will take you to the Ka'Toth's dimension."

Faith relaxed her shoulders. "Aight. And ya know the rules right? Anythin' non human even farts through this thing and you shut it down."

"Right. And I--I don't re-open it until I hear the enchanted chimes which the fair Kennedy is holding." He felt himself getting choked up. "I prepared a little speech; I hope no one minds. First I would just like to say that I appreciate being a part of the team. Also I really hope my brother Tucker is alright--wherever he is. He'd be so proud of me. He would--"

"Okay so, killin' stuff now." Kennedy interrupted with a raised brow. "Catch ya later, man."

As the three warriors slowly made their way through the portal, the lone dirty blonde sighed. No one ever let him finish his speeches.

Morning always seemed to come quick when she was having a good dream. One minute she'd be shopping or as of late, pushing the cutest frilly stroller with the cutest baby inside, and the next she would be waking up with strands of hair nearly in her mouth. Dark strands of hair. But that did not happen this morning. Instead as her eyes slowly cracked open and her muscles popped lowly, she'd found herself snuggling up to...nothing. Usually a warm body greeted her. Usually fingers threaded through her locks as a husky voice asked her what she wanted for breakfast.

However the only thing that said hello at the moment was a cold pillow and even colder sheets. Meaning the bed had been vacant for a while now. Where was Faith? Training maybe? It made sense but she couldn't hear any shouts drifting in from outside. And it's not like they would go far away just to run through drills or whatever. Hmm.

With the sun peeking through the curtains, she crawled out of bed and pulled on a thin robe. Waddling down the stairs, she poked her head into the living room but saw no one. Light snores flowed from down the hall, signaling that most of the girls were still wrapped up in their blankets. Frowning, she put her hands on her hips and turned in a circle. "Faith?" Going to the back door, she undid the lock and called again outside but received no answer.

Picking up the cell phone on the counter with the Star Wars skin, she dialed Faith's cell and waited. As her voice mail switched on, she sighed and flipped the phone closed. She took it with her and never turned it off lately, so what was up?

"Andrew? Have you seen Faith?"

Silence.

"Andrew?"

Silence.

Narrowing her brows, she drummed her fingers on the island. "Kennedy? Robin? ET? Anyone?" Nobody. Weird. "Willow?!"

A commotion sounded upstairs in the bathroom, and then jogging as the Wicca rounded a corner. "Oh my God! What? Where is it? Lemme at it!"

Buffy chuckled, folding her arms over her chest. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you have seen Faith? Or if maybe her and Kennedy went somewhere...?"

"Um nope. When I woke up Kennedy was already gone." She replied idly. "Maybe they went to the market or something."

"Yeah..." The blonde said slowly. "It's just--well Faith's phone went straight to voice mail an--and well she just doesn't do that because of everything that has been happenin'. I don't wanna be a worry Wayne or whatever but...you know."

The red head smiled thoughtfully at her friend. "Want me to do a quick locater spell to make sure everything is a-okay?"

"Please? I mean if it's not too much trouble or whatever."

"No trouble at all. Besides nothing beats that nifty peace of mind you'll have afterwards."

Five minutes later and a newly dressed Willow was sitting on the floor, arranging her herbs and gems and candles. She concentrated on the map that she had laid out, waiting for the little light that was Faith to pop up. When nothing happened, she gave a low 'huh' and tried again. After the third time she glanced up at her friend, her eyes large like when something was wrong.

"Heh well isn't that a kookie development. It--it kinda appears that Faith--well that she isn't...anywhere." She stammered out.

"What do you mean she's not anywhere? She--she has to be somewhere!" Buffy exclaimed. "If she's no--not anywhere then she's..oh God."

"No it doesn't mean she's dead!" Willow said quickly. "Just that--that she--she's in another dimension."

"Why would she be in another dimension? Maybe someone took her to get to me!"

"Don't worry Buffy, if they did we--we'll get her back. I promise."

Suddenly the front door opened and Xander stalked inside, shoving a cowering Andrew in in front of him. He pushed him down onto the couch and stood over him, staring down with his one good eye. "Tell them what you just told me."

"Why whatever do you mean, Xander?" Andrew inquired nervously. "I was simply saying how it's such a nice day outside. Perhaps we should all go for tea down by the lake and read poems to each other."

The mother to be arched a brow. She didn't have time for his oddness today. "Xander, Faith is missing so whatever he's on about can wait until later."

Her best male friend shook his head. "Oh I dunno. I think you wanna hear this, it's a doosie. A real doo of a zee." A pause. "Spill it."

With everyone staring at him expectantly, the dirty blonde wet his lips. "Well I--you see--it was a night unlike any other night. The moon was high in the sky and the owls were whooting lightly in the background, as three champions stood before a burning fire. Their faces were masks of determination, for they knew their mission was one of great importance. More important than destroying The First and its uber vam-pyres."

"Andrew I swear to God..." Buffy made a fist. "My hormones and I will not be judged if we punch your head off and stuff it down the garbage disposal!"

"Faith made me open a portal so that her, Kennedy and Robin could go and kill the Ka'Toth!" He revealed in one clean breath. "I didn't wanna do it but they forced me! Please don't kill me! I want to live! I. Want. To. Live!"

"She WHAT?!" The Slayer shouted, her face flushing red. "Wh--why--but--"

Xander cleared his throat. "I think what the Buffster is trying to say is...whaaa? Why would she go and do that?"

"And why would Kennedy go with her?" Willow asked with a frown. "I know she--that she loves slaying but this is--this is big. Like woo totally gignormous!"

Andrew slouched down lower. "She said she was tired of waiting around for stuff to happen. That she wanted the upper hand for once." He chewed on the inside of his cheek. "I--I'm not supposed to bring them back until I hear the chimes. It...well it's been a while since they left..."

Buffy sunk into the first chair she came too, her head suddenly full of fog. "I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna seriously be sick right here on the carpet."

The Wicca rubbed at her back soothingly. "It's gonna be okay, Buffy." A beat. "Andrew, I think you should open the portal."

He scratched at his chin. "But Faith said not to..."

"Do ya wanna be turned into a bunny?" When he shook his head no, she smiled. "Good. Then open the portal."

Pouting, he sighed deeply but nodded. "We--we have to go to where everything is set up."

Soundlessly everyone followed him down the path and into the field, glancing around as he made sure his effects were still in the right place. He swallowed hard, opened his book and repeated the words he'd said earlier that morning. The wiggly lines of silver formed out of thin air and he whimpered, hoping that nothing icky or slimy decided to mosey on through.

"Now what?" Xander questioned, adjusting his eye patch. "Do we go in and...ya know...get them?"

"That would be a bad idea. Who knows the perils that could be waiting just on the other side."

"Oh. Great. Thanks a bunch Faith. Jumpin' in the death trap without thought of what it would do to us."

Willow elbowed him in the side. "Xander, shh." She tsked him. "I can bring them out." Closing her eyes, she focused her energy at the gateway. "Door tijd en ruimte, door waarheid en lot, zoek het waardige op en breng hen naar mij. Breng hen naar mij!"

A loud clap of thunder sounded and the skies above grew dark with ominous clouds, as if there was going to be a horrible storm. Everyone shielded their eyes as the wind blew seeds and grits their way, fluttering hair and clothes. Lightning streaked across the sky and Andrew yelped, hiding behind Xander as a rumbling began to shake the ground. Willow continued to chant; the roots of her hair bordering on a pale blonde and then white as a weird yanking sensation coursed through her veins.

All of a sudden three figures were literally jerked back through the opening, landing hard on the dusty ground. They laid still, covered in blood and bruises as Andrew quickly closed the portal before anything else decided to trot out.

For a moment no one said or did anything, just stared.

And then Kennedy moaned and slowly pushed Robin off her legs, sitting up. She batted the hair out of her face and blinked, tonguing the cut in her lip absently. "Whoa, what happened? I didn't ring the chimes..."

"We know." Her girlfriend replied, her voice even.

"Oh. Busted." She whispered.

Faith was the next to stir, bringing a hand up to the dried blood that was once trickling down the side of her face from a cut at her hairline. She coughed and nudged the black man, then slowly rose to her knees and finally her feet. Holding to her throbbing ribs with her sliced palm, she sighed. "Guess you're pretty pissed, huh?"

Buffy was shaking so bad that she didn't know if she would be able to actually talk. So many emotions were running through her from fear to happiness to betrayal. She couldn't decide on which to go with yet. "...do you have any idea..."

"Yeah, I do." The brunette interrupted. "But it had to be done, B. Somethin' had to be done."

"Why didn't you tell me! How could you just go off and..." Feeling her eyes fill with tears, she gulped back a sob. "I didn't know what to think. I--I thought...I thought you were dead!"

"I'm aight, mostly." Faith replied, rubbing her sore chin.

The blonde balked at her flip manner. "This is all a game to you, isn't it?! Me, the baby, your life? You can't just do shit like this anymore! What if you had died? What if you had been killed? How do you think I would have felt, Faith? How do you think I would have felt realizing I--I'm alone? Th--that you were dead because of me." Before the ex con could reply, she continued. "You're not some--some cowboy who can ride in with gun blazing like this is some movie. This is real life! I'm really pregnant!"

Faith squared her shoulders, tilting her head to the side. "Don't you think I know that? Shit I'm been rackin' my brain with stuff ever since the first attack. How do you think I feel knowin' I might not be able to save ya? I just...I couldn't fucken take it anymore. I couldn't just sit on my hands and let bitches keep rollin' up on us." A pause. "Dyin'--yeah it happens and if it had happened I know it would've been rough on ya. But hey, you'd have been safe and that counts for somethin'."

Buffy chuckled cynically as the tears spilled over. "Rough? Try devastating. God Faith this is--you're not just a fellow Slayer to me anymore. I love you with all my heart. Maybe you don't know what it's like to lose someone you love, but I do. Apart of you never recovers. Apart of you dies as well."

"Why do you think I risked it all? For kicks? It was for you--for Maddie. Hell, for all of it."

"You're not a lone wolf! We are all in this together!"

"I know that."

"No. No obviously you don't if you do somethin' like this. How are we suppose to be together if-- if this is how you handle things?"

The brunette exhaled sharply, frowning. "Look I know what I did was half cocked, but you can't act like you've never did anythin' just as stupid. 'Sides we had a plan and I had back up."

"Right. You put other people in danger, almost forgot about that." She snorted.

"We offered." Robin responded quietly, cringing inwardly at the scowl she gave him.

Faith licked at her lips. "What do you want from me, B? A sorry? That I'm never gonna do it again? Cause I can't offer ya that. I'll do what I gotta do to protect what's mine..."

"I can't live my life like that." She whispered. "I--I can't."

The ex con blinked at her, huffing out a chuckle. "Oh so it's only aight when it's you riskin' your life for other people? No one is allowed to risk their life for you?"

Buffy glared angrily. "I didn't ask you to do that!"

A nod. "Right! I did it cause I give a damn."

"Oh so you give a damn but then go on a suicide mission. Real smart!"

"It's killin' you that someone else is in charge, ain't it? Ya hate not bein' the big man, dronin' out orders. If you'd ask me to go would that have made a difference? If you'd ask me to die like back in Sunnydale..."

It happened so fast that she barely realized it had happened at all. All the fear and all the anger building up inside of her, cresting in her hand and making it fly with a will of its own to Faith's cheek. If it hadn't been for the sound it made, for the stinging of her palm afterwards she'd have sworn she hadn't slapped her. However as she stared in horror at what she'd done, at the brunette's head that had jerked with the action, she knew it was all to real. Everything unfortunately was all too real.

Faith clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and looked around at everyone, her expression stoic. Without a word, she turned and started walking away from them. She just needed to be alone for a while. Clean up. Clear her head.

"She'll come back." Willow whispered, rubbing the blonde's shoulders.

As Buffy watched Faith's retreating form get smaller and smaller down the road, she wiped at her wet face. "I know, but I'm scared it won't matter when she does..."