The Coin's Other Side
Disclaimer: Do I own iCarly? No, no I do not. Will I attempt to own it? No, no I will not. Will I write a fan-fiction on it? Yes, yes I will.
A/N: This chapter is a bit inspired by Tom Petty's "Free Falling", you'll see things referenced to the song. I feel that song goes perfect for the story ^_^. Enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 21 (Regaining what is Lost)
Thanksgiving day arrived, Freddie and his mother were on their way to the Williams's home. He was holding the large tray of stuffing while gazing outside as the radio in the care blasted out classic rock tunes. Since the hearing, he avoided Carly and Sam, telling them he just needed to rest. He asked Gibby to shoot this week's iCarly when it came up, since his explosion with Nora, along with what he walked into with Valerie's hearing, he didn't trust himself to hold that camera when the time came to do so. He did, however, call that number that Valerie gave him for the TSA, and coming Saturday was a support group outing. They would be going to a martial arts facility. Why? He didn't know, but he thought it would be nice.
He'd been intrigued by martial arts for years, at least since he met Vanessa. Shelby Marx sparked the interest once more, and he loved watching Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and other great artists. So this support group having an outing at a training facility was good for him, he might inquire interest about joining. He was told that controlling Tourettes wasn't a difficult task, and when focusing on something, clearing away stressors, it was easier to deal with. Maybe if he joined a faction of martial arts, it would help him out, along with helping him gain strength and a backbone.
As they drove past, a familiar and favorite song of his popped on the radio. He smiled and leaned back as the singer's voice soothed his anxious soul. His eyes glued to the expansive field they were drifting on by, a large group of teens were playing baseball and running around makeshift bases. At the corner of the field was a cooler with iCarly's logo on it. He frowned and slowly shook his head. "Vampires, sucking the lives from us…" Marissa raised an eyebrow and looked over to him, inquiring about his statement. "Our fans. That's all they are."
"Have some patience, Freddie. Your fans may come around eventually, they're not all bad." He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back, sighing heavily.
"I wish I could believe that. You don't know some of the things I've seen, Mom…" He wasn't about to tell her what happened with Valerie. Even he didn't know the specifics, but the basics were enough to drive him over the edge. "I think I'm going to stop working on iCarly for a little while, Gibby can do the camera work." He rubbed his forehead and groaned as his mother stopped the car at the light and studied him for a moment. Emotionally, he was shot. "What happened with Nora at the hearing…it wasn't even her fault. I just exploded, all the fans' issues crashed in that instance…I don't think I can do iCarly without exploding again."
"It would be best that you take a break if it's affecting you so much."
"Yeah…" He lifted his eyes to the street sign, mentally noting the street name. Reseda Boulevard, Valerie was just a mile or two down this road. As he glanced at the mirror, the kids playing baseball were packing up and moving down the road towards Ventura. "Mom, all these years…up until just this last year I don't think I really ever thought much about Valerie. I missed her, but I never thought about how much I hurt her…her family…"
"Well, apparently they're giving you another chance. Just don't mess it up with them if you can…"
"I won't. I just want them to trust me again." He knew it wouldn't be an easy task, nor did he expect it to be. He never thought much about how much of a bad person he had to have been in order to not stand up and choose them the first time. Now, even Veronica seemed to hate him, and she was the one of Valerie's sisters that he was closest to in the past. His lips curved up at the memory and a chuckle fell from his mouth. "You know, I remember how close I was to all of them in the past. If I had to say an order of how close we were, Valerie would be first obviously…then Veronica was always around, so she was the closest to me of the sisters, then Vixen was so young that she always wanted to be involved in everything. Victoria wasn't always so close, but she always made her presence in the room known whenever she was in there. Of course, Vanessa was always the watchful sister…that hasn't changed any." If it did change at all, it was to the degree that she was more watchful and protective, and she had every right to be. "I don't know if they'll ever trust me again, but….it would be nice to figure a way to at least earn it again."
"I can understand that. Trust is the easiest thing to lose, but the hardest thing to gain. Just spend time with each of them, show them that you won't actually disappear on them again. You and I may know you won't, but they don't. You have to remember, you didn't just hurt Valerie…"
"I know."
When they arrived at the house, Marissa hugged Viola while Vincent led Freddie into the kitchen. Freddie set the stuffing down on the counter and breathed in, slowly moving his eyes along the house and absorbing the memories that filled these walls. He closed his eyes and sighed as Vincent pat his shoulder. "Valerie's upstairs working on some homework assignments, why don't you go upstairs and say hello?" Freddie smiled and slowly nodded his head, he'd been wanting to see her. "Knock first though, she might be asleep."
"Okay, thank you."
"No problem. It's good to see you, we're happy to have you over." Vincent smiled at him and Freddie slowly began moving up the stairs. There was a curious look behind the father's kind eyes, almost as if he were gauging him as well. It made since, Vincent was a good man and a good father, he wouldn't be too happy with Freddie for hurting his daughters.
He knocked on Valerie's door and announced himself for her when prompted. "Come in!" She instructed. He slowly pushed the door open and saw Valerie sitting Indian style on her bed, her silver laptop positioned directly in front of her. Her purple jeans matched the deep purple bedspread. The brown headboard was the only thing separating her dark red shirt from meshing into the similarly painted bedroom walls. She smiled at him and waved her hand. "Good to see you."
"You too. Wasn't this Vanessa's room a while back?" He raised an eyebrow and looked around, smiling vaguely at the nostalgic room. He'd been in this bedroom once or twice in the past, whenever he and Valerie needed to ask Vanessa for homework help. The walls had been a bit of a different shade beforehand, he couldn't quite recall what color it had been before, if different at all.
"When I go off to college, I think Veronica intends to take this room. She'll probably put up posters of Tyra Banks all over the wall, who knows. It's kind of a hand-me-down room."
"I see." Above the headboard was a framed American flag, with a cross above it. The cross had the words 'forgiveness' and 'love' along its arms. To his right, at the foot of her bed, was a maple oak desk with several drawers on the left leg. On the corner of the desk was a CD rack, and several Elvis Presley albums scattered loosely in front of the rack. He smiled heartily and exhaled slowly. "You're still into Elvis, I see."
"Who isn't? Wouldn't you love to be a popular singer this many years after your passing?"
"True." He moved over to the bed and sat beside her. "So what are you doing?" Valerie glanced at her computer and sighed, running her hand through her hair.
"I'm not sure really, I started an online tutoring thing for students at the local schools who need help in areas like Math or English. I'm not using my real name, obviously, but still it's hard to even deal with this stuff." She lowered her hand and started typing on the keyboard. "I'm helping someone from Ridgeway with some math assignments they're trying to complete over thanksgiving break. Their penname is SP41095, why that's their penname I have no idea. Glad they can remember it."
"Eh, it's probably just their initials and birthday."
"That's what she told me. I don't mind tutoring people, a little bit of a friendship tends to begin, not that anything can ever come of it." Why couldn't anything come of a friendship formed from tutoring? Did she not trust people that much? It made sense, seeing as how those group of fans hurt her in the way they did. "Anyway, I'm letting her know you and your mom are here, so I'll have to tutor her later."
He chuckled briskly and laid back on the bed, putting his hands behind his head. "Don't stop on our account." She peered over at him, resting her right hand on the top of her laptop.
"It would be rude not to." She shut the laptop and glanced to the window towards their left. "So you're going to join that support group on their outing, Saturday?"
"Yeah. There are a bunch of people my age, some older, so I'm glad about that."
"Right." She looked back to him and unfolded her legs. "But isn't Saturday when you're supposed to work on iCarly?"
"I'm taking a break from iCarly for now, Gibby can shoot this week's episode. I just can't seem to get over all this crap that's been going on…"
"As hard as it is, you have to forgive your fans eventually." She lay on her side pillow and moved her hands behind her head, sighing briskly. He turned his gaze towards her, smiling slightly as he watched her staring at the brown ceiling fan. "I know I'm one to talk…I may be forgiving of a person, but I still have issues with that. Take that man, Chad…It's increasingly harder to forgive what he did to me…" She closed her eyes, her body trembled for a brief second. "I'm working on it though. You know, not all of your fans are bad…I'm sure of that. Try to focus on those good ones."
"I would like to. Right now, though, I just need a break."
"Yeah. That is up to you." The corner of her lip tucked into a quick smirk as she looked over, meeting his gaze and quoting his earlier phrase. "Don't stop on our account, Freddie." He laughed and shook his head.
"I'll keep that in mind. Though, I have a lot of other stuff on my mind too, you know."
"Like what?"
"Well, for instance…getting to know your family all over again." Valerie frowned and slowly nodded her head as he turned his eyes towards the fan. She moved her hand to her stomach and looked up to the ceiling. "I know what I did, and I want to fix what I screwed up…I don't know how to regain their respect or trust, but I want to."
"I know, but a good way to start is by doing what you're doing, spend time with us. Not just me, but them too…" She closed her eyes and exhaled softly. "Show them you're going to stick around, be their friend. Participate in their interests. As you know, Vanessa's big on martial arts, so…maybe get involved in that stuff if you're interested in it. Veronica's into modeling, Victoria's into art and music, and Vixen's into dancing…show a genuine interest in everyone and eventually you'll gain their respect back. It's not impossible."
"Yeah…"
After a few minutes of silence, Valerie moved her other hand to her stomach and smiled at him. "Victoria's looking forward to that concert Friday. She's happy that you're chaperoning."
"I'm happy to do it."
"Good. It's a start. Now, what do you say we go downstairs? I'm sure everyone's wondering where you're at."
"Right."
What are your observations?