Chapter 21
A Paradise In Pain
Through the darkness that wreaked his room, the sound of my heart-wrenching sobs echoing into the night turned into dull painful whimpers as he held me to his body cradling me ever so lightly. The lithium's grasp on my over exhausted mind and drained body flooded me with serenity and the frank feeling of not giving a fuck. It's heaviness filled my limbs and relaxed my muscles as my ragged breathing slowly began to even it's way out and my heavy half-lit eyes began to in their way closed, but before I gave in I knew I there was one thing to be done.
Stretching upward as far as I could, I gently placed a kiss ever so softly on his forehead letting my lips linger on his warm skin before forcing a pained "Thank you" out of my raw throat and returning to my position against his chest. In reply his hand moved to my hair and calmly he stroked the knotted, rats nest of a sleep deprived, utter and total mess of a girl until I was finally pulled into the arena of serene pitch and comfort. I had finally gotten what I begged for.
--
Staring at the alarm clock across the empty space where Warren had once occupied I slowly began to rise out of my over due slumber, the clock read around 6:30 at night and the curtains were closed shielding any light. I honestly laid there completely uncaring, staring blankly at the wall, for what was a small eternity to some. Outside of the room I heard almost nothing, excluding some television downstairs
loudly playing some soap opera and I did not want to deal with Mrs. Peace, who no doubtedly knew I was there. Rising from the warmth and comfortable bed, I began searching through Warren's things for at least some boxers and a tank. Successfully finding a grey tank and a grey cotton pair of boxers, I opened his door and peaked down the hallway to see if anyone was there and carefully slinked into the bathroom across the hall.
After a long, steaming shower I slipped into the tank and boxers and quickly towel dried my hair. As I opened the door, my feet immediatly lead me straight back to the bedroom. I didn't care if I waited all night, I would wait for Warren. In some weird way, I was feeling greedy, I had never had any real part of Warren and I would give anything to just be with him. Even if we would never go beyond this point, I will always want him.
Pondering this vigorously, I opened his bedroom door and walked right past him sitting on the bed as I stared at the floor biting my knuckle absentmindedly and dropped the towel and my clothes into his hamper. Sighing, I looked up and jumped slightly at his presence. Looking away, I mumbled "Excuse me." or what was supposed to sound like it but just sounded like a muffled grunt.
At first I didn't want to look up, but I knew it was inevitable, being stuck in a slightly awkward situation isn't uncommon for me and just standing there like an idiot as his eyes bore into me put a clench on my throat and the feeling of asphyxiation forced my eyes upward. In the instant that I faced him I took in his appearance and saw how completely frail he actually looked. It was as if time had worked it's magic of a decade into his face, with tired eyes and miles of disappointment and pain embedded into his demeanor.
Again I was the first to move, as if he had been waiting for me for centuries in a hollow pit and I was his light, I walked forward cautiosly. As soon as I finished my stride, he stood and towered over me with an unwavering stare. My mouth began to open, despite not knowing what to say, and he immediately put his fingers above my lips silencing me. "Don't say anything," he whispered although it rumbled through his chest as his fingers slid over my cheek bone and brush the hollow of my face before stopping at the side of my neck beneath my ear, holding my head to face his.
And then it happened, the spark that had always been there erupted into a glorious geyser of flame and ash as if together we existed as one bright burning star giving life to everything and opening me up from the inside. When our lips connected, it wasn't rough like the crashing of waves in a storm, but light and spreading a deliciously warm blanket throughout my core. It was as if every ounce of me was connected to him and vice versa. The never ending pain in ourselves was at rest as we found an oasis of hope in each other's souls.
The absence of fluid for tears dryly stung my eyes as I slid my arms around him and moved from his mouth spreading a trail of kisses down face and neck. Sliding his hands down my sides he suddenly reached down and ,placing both hands on the cups of my butt, picked me up. Wrapping my legs around him, he turned around and lay me on the bed. Pulling his shirt off quickly, he through it carelessly onto the floor and leaned down, hovering over me for a moment. A slight look of question crossed his eyes and I immediately killed it, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Bringing my lips to his ear I breathed into the dim lit room and into his heart something so true and unbreakable, not pure and light, but a certaintly obtained by blood shed and endless suffering, "I will never let you go."
An Excerpt From :
Annabelle Lee By Edgar Allan Poe
"It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me..."