Chapter Twenty:

Three Months Later…

He stared at his youngest daughter, surprise still evident within him. It had been an easy adjustment, Kate and Arianna fitting into their lives like they always had been there and never left. Life with Kyra had been easier once upon time, but not everything in life could be easy. But every day, just as it was and still is with Alexis, he was amazed that he had been a part in making such a beautiful creature. Her resemblance to her mother continued to make him breathless, as did the fact that he and Beckett shared a child. Things with Beckett had gone back to the way that they had been before her absence, and with the normality, his feelings for her had returned.

He was still reluctant to admit that though because of the hurt that he had experienced the last time he had feelings for her, but thankfully they hadn't reached the level of his previous feelings. They couldn't ever again reach that level though because he had someone, he had Kyra. Kyra was slowly adjusting to him having a second daughter, but she did so amazingly. They decided to push their wedding back to a later date due to the changes. They weren't the same as they had been before, but nothing was. At least, they were doing better than they had been in those first few days.

Slowly and reluctantly, he turned away from his young sleeping beauty and walked from the room, leaving the door cracked open. He tip-toed down the hall although it was unnecessary. He had quickly discovered how sound a sleeper his younger daughter was, and he knew that neither Kyra nor Alexis would be asleep yet. A large yawn left his lips. He had forgotten how tiring taking care of a four year old could be. He was just about to crash on his bed, too tired to bother with pajamas, when a voice called to him near the doorway, "Rick." He turned around, with drooping eyelids, to see Kyra leaning by the door with a small smile on her lips. Another yawn unwilling left his lips. She seemed amused at this and much more at peace than she had been in months. "I was going to ask if you wanted some cake." She cocked her hip, placing her hand on it.

He raised a brow. "You made it?"

She cackled, knowing how she could absolutely not cook a thing. "No, Alexis did. Remember, Arianna helped her while you were sleeping on the couch? The batter was delicious."

"I was resting, not sleeping. I had just shut my eyes for a second." He defended himself.

"If you say so…" She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "You better get used to this. Otherwise, what are you going to do when we have kids?" He choked at the unexpected question, quickly disguising it as a cough, although he wasn't entirely sure that she had bought it. Sure, they had talked about children before, but that had been such a long time ago. He swallowed heavily as his stomach knotted. He hadn't thought about them having children since their conversation. Had he changed his mind? He wasn't sure. His feelings had been so twisted and jumbled recently.

He yawned once again.

She rolled her eyes. "Just go to sleep."

He forced a smile onto his face as he pushed the thought of having kids with Kyra to the back of his mind. He couldn't think of it now, especially with all the things that were recently. Kyra kissed him gently and smiled at him one last time before leaving. Once he collapsed on the bed and got comfortable, he expected to instantly fall asleep, but he didn't. His mind was too heavy with the thoughts and images of children that shouldn't be because they didn't have the gracefulness of Beckett's nor her nose or the fiery hair that Meredith had given to Alexis. In those few moments before he faded from consciousness, he realized that he never could have children with Kyra.

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"Mommy!" the girl rushed into her mother's arms and almost caused her to lose her balance, although she regained it quickly before she could fall. Beckett wrapped Arianna in a tight hug before releasing her. Balancing herself again on her knees, she smiled at the girl before standing. "Daddy, Alexis, Kyra, and I had so much fun!" The girl exclaimed with wide eyes.

"Hmm," Beckett murmured, eyeing Castle suspiciously. "I'm scared to ask."

"Don't be. Alexis and Kyra were here. I was going to fly her to Italy to show her real pizza, but I was stopped."

Beckett sighed, shaking her head at the writer's antics.

"Don't worry," Alexis wrapped Kate in a hug. "I made sure he was on his best behavior."

"Thanks," Kate grinned, "although I didn't think that Castle had a best behavior."

Alexis giggled in her ear and even Kyra cracked a smile, a rare occurrence in her presence, but Castle he just gave her this look that caused her stomach to clench and muttered, "Har, har."

"Can't fight the truth," she informed him as the doorbell rang in the background.

"Oh," Kyra smiled. "That's me. My sister's in town for the weekend. Bye, Kate, Arianna, Alexis. Rick," she murmured as she leaned up to kiss him. Alexis cringed. Arianna shuddered. Kate's stomach clenched and she was quick to look away. She swallowed, surprised at the absence of jealousy. Had she misinterpreted her recent feelings in Castle's presence? For a moment, she hoped it was so. The last time she had those feelings, she had ended up with her daughter, and honestly, she could not have asked for a better thing to happen to her, but she wasn't sure if she could go through that again because what a mess had she gotten herself into.

"We should be going too, shouldn't we, Ari?" Kate asked with a smile that no one noticed was fake, anxious to escape the apartment.

"Yes, I missed Lamby so much!" Arianna exclaimed. Lamby was her daughter's hamster, although she had absolutely no clue why she had named it such a thing. In an afterthought though, it was better than her original choice, Taylor Swift. She still was struggling on remembering her reasons for getting her daughter the hamster in the first place, but in a moment, she knew why. It was because of her daughter's beautiful eyes, the same ones that belonged to her father. She frowned as her stomach rolled. No, she was right earlier. There was no doubt in her mind what those feelings were.

She blinked, wishing her thoughts away. She realized that Kyra had quickly disappeared without her notice. And Castle was slowly approaching her, moving closer. "Can we talk for a minute?" Her stomach was instantly in knots, and Goosebumps covered her skin.

"Sure."

And although it was intended to be a statement, it came out more like a question.

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But in the hall, there was no talking. Instead, there was just staring. And silence, too much silence in her opinion, but for once, his noisy ramblings were quiet. And for once, she was actually wishing for them. But they never came.

"Kate," he spoke, moving slowly closer to her. It wasn't Beckett or Detective, but instead Kate and it did nothing to calm her nerves.

Then, he stopped speaking. The thoughts had left his mind, just as comprehensible ones left her.

He was leaning towards her and somehow, she seemed to be getting closer to him as well. She wasn't leaning forward, was she? Oh, God, was he about to kiss her? Castle was about to kiss her. He. Was. About. To. Kiss. Her. She couldn't believe it. But then, once the realization hit her, her oppositions soon followed in their many question forms. They couldn't, could they? No, they couldn't. They shouldn't. It was right. He was engaged. She had broken him and been broken. They were both too destructive to be able to fit.

"Castle, what are you doing?" She struggled to breathe and tried to force the words from her lips.

"I don't know." He replied, looking as if he seriously had no clue. And then, she had room to breathe again as he moved back.

But still, no air would fill her lungs.

Hope you liked it. Sorry about the break.