- PAST KILLIAN'S POV -

AN: (1) There's been questions about whether Killian (in the future) misses Emma and Hope by now, but actually he doesn't know, that they aren't there – unless Emma never makes it back to her timeline. It's like in the S3 finale, when no noticed Cs was gone. When and if Emma and Hope jump forward in time again, they'll go back to getting ready for Hope's first adventure on the Jolly Rodger and to everyone else it'll be like they never left in the first place. So, Mary Margret and David from the future don't know anything about Emma's future and Hope either (before Emma announced her pregnancy, engagement to them etc.)

(2) This is basically just the last two chapters in Killian's POV, which is why I updated this story earlier than I usually would. Also I don't know whether I'll be able to update this next weekend since I'm moving. I'll try, but I can't make any promises.

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Swan arrive at the tavern. For possibly the first time Smee actually had a great idea, when he told me to check this place out. I never would've run into Emma otherwise, so thanks first mate. I always enjoy spending time with Emma, even if she's often yelling at me.

I'm still confused about the way she acted earlier since she doesn't seem to remember our kiss this morning – or she at least pretends to not remember it – so lets check out if she still thinks that way. Maybe her bad mood has faded by now and she's ready to talk about what the bloody hell happened between us this morning on my ship.

I keep sitting on my chair, but I turn a little to have a better view of her. She is drinking a glass of rum in one go. As soon as she sets her glass down, she orders another one, which I can't help but chuckle at. That's when she noticed me and turns in my direction, glaring daggers at me in the process. Swan is obviously still not in the best mood. I hope it's not because of our kiss, which she's trying to forget. I know she's not too fond of me – our earlier conversation on main street proving as much – but she can't regret our kiss that much, right? I can't have been the only one being affected by it. At least it didn't seem that way on my ship. She was obviously not against it – back then I even thought that she might have enjoyed it. And she did trust me with the baby – her daughter whose existence makes no sense since Emma never mentioned her before. And she wasn't pregnant when we met either.

Anyway, I won't figure out what's wrong with her, while dumbly staring at her and being confused, so I get out of my seat and sit down next to her. She sighs sadly, but I act like I don't notice. It's probably better to not act differently around her because then she'll start running away again and I don't want that. I need to figure out why she's so upset. Maybe I can even help her with her problems – that is if she lets me. If she is willing to let me help, there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. I'm aware that we hardly know each other, but there was something going on between us. It's probably because we're both orphans, who never had much love in their lives. We're like kindred spirits in that area.

"Looks like someone is trying to forget things. Look, I have a few better ideas of how to get your mind off things." I smirk at her and raise my eyebrow, signalizing just what I have in mind. I don't expect her to agree with my suggestion of us having some fun. But I feel like she'll be more comfortable and more likely to tell me the truth, if I just act like the pirate I am – I did act like this before when I promised her that when I jab her with my sword, she'll feel it. She doesn't like it when people get too close to her, so I have to very careful. I can't let it show that I actually care about her well-being.

Emma just glares at me before emptying her glass once again and moving to a booth near the door. I suppose she probably does it to get away from me, but I just take it as an invitation to sit there with her.

"Are you avoiding me?" I ask her.

"Why wouldn't, I? It's not like we're friends or anything. I keep having to tell you that. Don't you have anyone else to bother?" she snaps back.

Ouch. That hurts, I must admit. I actually did believe we were becoming friends, but apparently, I was wrong. Or we actually get closer and it scares Emma, so she's pushing me away to protect her heart from getting broken. The latter is more likely and also far less depressing for me.

I hide my discomfort and chuckle, acting once again like I don't care. I rest my hand behind her, making it seem like I'm doing it to annoy her, but actually I wish I could pull her into my arms and never let anything bad happen to her ever again. It's not like Emma needs protection, but still. She's a tough lass. I mean she did almost manage to defeat me at the Lake – with hardly any sword fighting experience. I only let her win in the last few seconds of our fight because I knew how much she needed to get home to Henry – and also her daughter whom I didn't know about, I suppose. I might be a pirate, but I would never let any kid go through what both Emma and I went through as kids. I did that mistake too often before with Baelfire and my younger brother, but not again.

Unfortunately, Swan minds my arm a lot and not even a few seconds after I put it behind her, she punches it away. Then she hits my shoulder, but it's just in a friendly way. She's not even trying to hurt me. It seems like I'm making progress. Maybe I can win her trust after all.

She wouldn't try to push me away to this extent, if I didn't mean anything to her. If I was just another annoying person to her, my arm around her wouldn't be a risk to her heart. It's not like I was directly hugging her. So, I was right. The kiss must have meant something to her – even if it's just a tiny bit.

"So, I was right. You are in such a foul mood because you're trying to avoid me. Has it perhaps anything to do with our kiss?" I tease her once again, but she finds nothing funny about all this.

"No kiss happened, Hook. You dreamed it or whatever. Accept that." She snaps at me.

Being who I am, I answer immediately, which might not be a good idea since it's something that Emma isn't ready to hear. "Oh, Swan, that kiss did most certainly happen. You're just too stubborn to admit it. But one day you will and that's when all the fun begins."

I didn't even mean to say the last part, but it slipped out. She definitely isn't ready to hear that – the first part perhaps, but not, that I think we could be great together. But maybe she didn't notice since she completely zoomed out half into my statement.

Swan's expression changed drastically then, and I half expected her to run away, but she didn't.

She still sits in the booth, not moving and clearly thinks very hard about something. Is she actually considering that I was right? Is she finally going to admit our kiss happened? Is she even considering that it meant something to both of us?

We sit in silence for what feels like forever, until Emma turns to a passing employee and orders another glass of rum. Right about then she seems to calm down again. She leans back into the booth and gets comfortable. Her gaze is fixed straight ahead, and she once again does her best to ignore me.

So, she really is going to pretend nothing happened. Okay two can play this game. So, I look at her and try to read her. It's not as easy today as it usually is. Something must have happened, that caused her walls to climb higher than they already were. She is trying to push me away, which means that she must have admitted to herself that we have a connection. It scared her and now she trusts me even less than she did on the beanstalk. But that's okay. I can win her over again. I've got all the time in the world since Swan is the only thing that's important to me right now.

I came here intending to kill the crocodile, but I hurt him by erasing his love's memories and now he is miserable. Now I can focus solely on Emma. She quickly became more important to me than my revenge. Ever since that kiss, I can't deny anymore that she's special to me. I only ever loved Milah and when she died, I thought my only chance at happiness was gone. But as it turns out, I was wrong. I've gotten a second chance at happiness and I damn well intend to use it.

"What?!" Emma's voice catches me by surprise. I've totally zoomed out of reality, even though I was still looking at her. "Quit staring at me!"

Well, if she would talk to me, I might not feel the need to try to read her.

"I'm just enjoying the view, love." She punches my arm at the comment, but it's once again a friendly gesture. I'm winning her over. I can feel it. And this time I'm not wrong like earlier – at least I hope so. With Emma you never know, when she'll shut you out again. She's been through a lot of pain, so I guess it makes sense. It's why we understand each other so well since we both are familiar with great amounts of pain and loneliness. It makes me feel very protective of her. My first love, my Milah, was murdered, so I'm constantly scared that something similar will happen to Emma. I can't let that happen. I can't lose her, too.

"That's such a cliché." She looks at me and I give her signal, that I'm extremely confused. She smiles lightly, and I feel like jumping up and down because Emma Swan smiled at me. But I don't have much time to be excited since she explains the weird word. "It's a kind of sentence, that is used very often – to the extent that it's overused – and it sounds creepy because of that. Also, I'm not your 'love' so stop calling me that."

She might not know it yet, but she is indeed my love. At least she'll be. I'm quite certain that we'll be together one day. Unless she'll never get over her stubbornness.

"Well, it is the truth, love. And if I'm not allowed to look at you, then how am I supposed to figure out why you're so vexed today?"

"As if you actually care about what has me in such a bad mood." She says dryly, not showing any kind of emotion, but I know her better than that. Her eyes are sad. She has that lost boy look in them, that I'm far too familiar with. She tries to hide it because she doesn't want any pity, but her childhood still bothers her. A lot. She'll never get over it – not completely. There will always be a little sadness in her.

That's one more reason why I want to be with her. I just want to make her happy. She deserves it. She deserves the bloody world and she'll have it, if she lets me give it to her.

I swear, Swan, I can make you happy. You just have to let me.

"Maybe I do care." I'm almost whispering right now, too afraid to push her away. I know this is dangerous territory. I see it in her eyes. How this scared her, but that just proves that we're on the same page here. She cares about me in some way. She just isn't ready to admit it – not even to herself. "So, what is it that's bothering you, Swan? Maybe I can help…"

She looks at me with big eyes. Tears built in them. She isn't trying to push me away right now. She's actually trying to let me in. She just doesn't know what to say. All this is very hard for her because of her fear to get hurt.

I don't intend to ever hurt her, but I understand where her reaction is coming from. I appreciate that she at least tries to let me in. That's a great step for her.

I was right about our connection.

But she still has some surprises up her sleeves.

She turns more to me and scoots closer on the booth. Our legs are touching by now. She looks at me with her tear-filled eyes and slowly begins to lean in. It feels like time stops completely, until of course our lips are almost touching and the bartender decides to set a bottle of rum on our table in that exact moment. I don't think I've ever hated anyone more than I hate him right now.

Emma springs away from me, almost hurting her head in the process. She rambles on about how this didn't happen, but I don't really hear a word since I'm still too confused about what just happened. She almost kissed me again. For someone who claims to hate me so much she sure has a great way of showing it.

Before I really know what's happening, she leaves the Rabbit Hole. I keep sitting in the booth. I feel immobilized, so even if I thought it was a good idea to follow her, I couldn't.

Bloody hell.

It's probably a good thing we were interrupted though, I think, while I look at the bottle of rum on the table. She had quite some rum, so she probably would've regretted the kiss tomorrow morning just like she does with our first kiss. I don't want her to have any regrets. If we would've kissed now, it would've been wrong. I would've taken advantage of her tipsy state and I couldn't live with myself in that case. I'm an honourable man and I would never force myself on anyone.

I'm not even sure, if our first kiss actually meant something to her. I know that it changed everything for me. And in given time she might change her opinion on me too. I'll just have to prove to her, that I don't want to be that awful pirate anymore. I want to be a good man for her. I don't care how hard it'll be to change – for my Swan it'll be worth it.