Miss me yet? Worried yet? Dying to know what's going to happen yet? Well, I know what's going to happen, but something tells me that doesn't help you much, does it? Hee, hee! Oh, well. You'll find out soon enough. Actually, while I'm on the subject, let me tell you: I plan to have this finished by December 18th. That's my birthday, so it's a little happy birthday present to me to see this done and posted and an early Christmas present for the rest of you. And for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas, it's just a random present for you. Yes, I'm such a kind person. You may now declare your love for me! J/k! Here's chapter 21 before you guys start throwing rotten vegetables at me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII places, characters, or ideas. I only own, Bryce, Drag, Zion, the Winter Formal, and Squall's change in attitude, but that is going for 50 bucks on eBay. Let the bidding begin!

Life Less Ordinary

Chapter Twenty-One

"Some Things Should Stay Buried"

"What is going to happen to them?" Mrs. Almasy asked once the boys had left the office with Professor Fitzgerald. She spoke before another uneasy silence could settle in and make things even more uncomfortable.

Principal Kramer sighed. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do." He actually did sound unsure. 'I think Squall is telling the truth, and if he is, then the only thing Seifer would get would be a few days of out of school suspension."

"And what about Squall?" Laguna asked, worry shining in his face.

"Well, I admire that he told the truth and is willing to take he entire blame on his own, but…" He cut himself off and frowned.

"But what?" Laguna asked. Mrs. Almasy nodded anxiously. She cared about Squall, too, like he was her own son. The two young men acted like brothers anyway.

"He may actually be expelled." Raine added for the struggling Principal. She knew it was coming. After all, this was a serious offense, but she didn't want to see her son's life thrown away for no reason.

"I'm afraid so, but before I can make any indication of what he may face. I must consult the school board. He may actually get off easy." Principal Kramer said. He honestly didn't want to expel him, but the odds weren't in his favor anymore.

"When will we know?" Laguna asked.

"I will promise an answer by tomorrow. It's the best I can do. I'm sorry." The Principal shook his head sadly.

Another uneasy, unwelcome silence settled in, and they all shifted uncomfortably.

"Mr. Kramer," Laguna said as he got up to leave. "I did not raise either of my boys to do bad things. Raine and I taught them both the value of honesty and good intentions. I don't know what could've happened to make him do this, but I'm sorry on his behalf all the same." Laguna walked to the door, not expecting an answer or comment of any kind from the Principal but left the room. Raine slowly raised herself from her own seat and addressed the Principal.

"He is right, sir, and we both apologize for his behavior here tonight. I will make sure that nothing like this happens again." She bowed low to him, a tradition of her Galbadian customs. "He won't leave until that Gym is spotless."

"Thank you, Mrs. Loire, and I will have an answer for you by tomorrow." Principal Kramer rose and walked both Raine and Mrs. Almasy out of his office, and the two women proceeded to the Gym. Laguna was nowhere in sight, and Raine concluded that he was fuming somewhere.

"What could've happened, Raine?" Mrs. Almasy asked her long-time friend as they walked the long, cold halls down to the Gym. "What could've happened that would make our boys go astray?"

"I don't know," Raine shook her head, wondering the exact same thing, but there was no answer, no explanation that could help solve this mystery. "But I wish I knew."

"They're both so bright. How could they make this mistake?" Seifer's mother, sounded so worried, despite the fact that her son would most likely get off easy.

"They're only boys, and they're teenagers." Raine only offered that little piece of input before the two mothers fell back into silence for the rest of the walk to the Gym.

They approached the Gym and when they opened the door and entered the Gym, they were shocked. The entire room was destroyed. There was water everywhere, the decorations were torn and sagged, and there was ink and oatmeal everywhere.

They spotted Squall and Seifer working in silence, cleaning in areas well away from each other. For the amount of time that they'd been down there, they obviously haven't gotten much accomplished.

"Oh my Hyne!" Seifer's mother gasped in a low whisper glancing over the room. "This is what they did?" she asked looking over at Raine whose eyes were wide and in shock.

Squall looked up to see that his mother and Seifer's mother had entered the room, and he groaned. Here comes the first half of the storm. He thought. He wasn't ready to face his parents yet. They would lecture him and say how disappointed they were in him, and he didn't feel like having to listen to that right now. He had enough problems to deal without them yelling at him. And so, he chose to ignore them and continue with his task on the stage. He made a quick glance at Seifer and concluded that he hadn't even noticed them yet.

Raine broke away from Mrs. Almasy's company and headed over to the stage to her son. She knew he was ignoring her, and part of her actually didn't blame him. At any rate, she walked to him and patiently beside him, on the edge of the stage for him to notice her. She always found this to be the most effective way to gain both of her sons' difficult attentions. Standing in their presence and not speaking somehow was a sure-fire way to get them to notice that she had something to say and they needed to listen.

It didn't take long. Squall looked up and met his mother's strangely calm eyes. A hard lump began to form in his throat, and he worried about what how the next few minutes would go. He didn't dare to speak yet but decided to let her do that. So he waited.

"I think you know what I'm going to say." Raine said quietly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What? That I'm an embarrassment to the family? That you're disappointed in me? What?" He asked, speaking just as quietly. He waited for her to start yelling at him.

Raine was shocked at his response but didn't show it. Like her son, she was good at concealing her emotions. After all, he had gotten that from her. "No, sweetie. You're not an embarrassment to the family. No matter what you do, we'll always love you and support you. We may not agree with your methods, but we will love you all the same." She reached over and touched her son's shoulder gently. He pulled back slightly, removing the hand from his person. She tried not to take offense to the obvious hint at rejection and continued. "I am slightly disappointed and even more so after seeing this Gym. Why?" she asked.

"I already told you." Squall replied, offering nothing further.

"I'm not stupid. I know you left out something that is probably the key to this whole operation. What is it?" Raine wasn't going to take no for an answer, but she was sure that Squall would fight her all the same.

"There is nothing more. That was it." He was going to fight her for one reason: he didn't think she would approve or understand his reasoning.

"You're lying to me. I'm your mother. I know." She lowered her eyes slightly to give him a harsher glare. "Now we can battle this out for the rest of the night, or you can drop your pride and tell me." She moved her hands to his hips and waited for him to say something.

"I have nothing to say." Squall said, gripping the mop so tightly his knuckles were turning white. He stared her in face without losing his composure, but it was a tough task all the same.

"Fine." Raine said tersely. "Looks like we're going to battle this out all night."

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Seifer didn't notice that his own mother was standing beside him until she spoke to him. Of course, it caught him by surprise. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't heard her approach him. He didn't say anything either. Instead, he waited for her to tell him hat she was disappointed, angry, and that he had a total of twos seconds to live so he had better reminisce quickly about the good times he'd had thus far because she was going to kill him. He'd been waiting, er, expecting this but not so soon.

"Seifer," she spoke his name quietly, just enough to get his attention. She didn't know what else to say to him. Yes, she was disappointed and maybe even a little angry, but he was her son, and he was mostly only going to get a few days of suspension. Right now, she worried more for Squall, afraid that this event would hinder his future success.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" he asked, avoiding eye contact.

His mother shook her head, which went unseen and whispered. "No," she was going to say something like "You should be thanking Squall that you'll be able to stay in school." Or something else of the sort, but it never came out. She just shook her head again.

Seifer was surprised at her answer and stared at her strangely. He was almost tempted to ask her if she was really his mother, but this was not the time for jokes. With his luck, he'd try to make a joke, and she would smack him and give him the biggest lecture of the century. So he opted to keep his mouth shut, which was dubbed as a smack thing to do. He didn't want to speed up the process of his death. Believe it or not, he actually wanted to live.

"No, you're not in trouble. You did a bad thing, but you're not in trouble. I'm just glad it'll be over soon enough." Mrs. Almasy realized that this conversation was forced, and she began to worry.

"What's going to happen to us?" He asked, nervously.

"The Principal is going to call us tomorrow. Until then, let's try not to think about it." His mother hugged him. "Promise me you'll help get this mess cleaned up. Okay?"

"Sure." He dropped his gaze and looked away. He sounded so downhearted. She couldn't do anything for him but hugged him again, anyway. She told him to come home when they finished and then took her leave.

Seifer went back to his "work" but he never got very far. The sudden sounds of angry voices grabbed his attention, directing him to the stage.

"There is nothing!" Squall yelled, throwing the mop to the floor in anger. He and his mother stood on the stage, glaring at each other. They hadn't gotten very far in heir "conversation."

"Squall Dravon Leonhart!" Raine yelled, raising her voice threateningly. It had been a long time since Seifer had heard Raine talk like this, especially to Squall. Raine and Squall were closer than anyone thought possible. Raine was the only one who could get into Squall's wall unscathed. He trusted her, probably more than he did Seifer. "I don't know how stupid you think I am, but I am more than aware that there is a greater picture to this!"

"There's not. I told you everything that I needed to tell! When will you just drop it?" Squall demanded. He knew that it was unwise to argue and raise his voice to his mother, but this was something that he planned to keep withdrawn from everyone who didn't need to know. Seifer knew and that was probably it. Everyone else didn't matter.

"I don't believe you!" Raine turned her back to him, as if to calm herself down. "Listen, I'm not asking for much, just for you to trust me a little more. Ten to one I'd understand. So why not tell me?" Raine had returned to face her son, but this time, he was the one who looked away.

"It's not relevant, mom. Don't worry about it." He whispered, breaking his resolve. He didn't face her because she would know.

"That's a lie and you know it, and you're not convincing." She walked to him and touched his shoulder. "Please just tell me."

"I…I can't." He kept his eyes glued to the floor, where the mop rested.

"Yes, you can. I'm your mother. You can tell me anything, and you know that. What makes this so different?" she asked. The last thing she wanted was for him to distance himself form her. They'd always had a close bond with each other. She was too afraid to lose that bond.

"Just trust me and drop it." He leaned over and picked up the mop, signifying that he was done talking. Raine sighed and figured there wasn't much point left in even trying. He would open up to her when the time was right.

"Alright. If you say so." Raine dropped, just to please her son. "But make sure this is all cleaned up before you come home."

"Fine," he said nothing more but continued to clean up his monstrous mess.

Raine proceeded down the stairs of the stage and out of the Gym. Why was she leaving them alone? They needed time alone, without someone watching over them and judging them for this one action.

She left the Gym and found Laguna outside talking on his cell phone. She heard Kiros' name several times and figured that her husband was venting to his companion, but he shocked her. Laguna said one thing hat made Raine's heart fall to her knees.

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It took Squall and Seifer nearly three hours to completely clean up the Gym, which they did in pretty much silence. There was no need for conversation. They were tired, regretful, and even angry, but they got the job done enough to suit them.

Seifer was the first to leave, but Squall remained, sitting on the edge of the stage, just thinking about what had happened. His eyes glanced over the still slightly messy Gym. He was wishing he could take it all back, but that was impossible now. Instead, he sat there watching and thinking. He didn't know what time it was, and he didn't even care. He obviously wasn't ready to go home yet, but he wasn't too keen on staying here. He kept seeing Rinoa's distressed face every time he closed his eyes, and that scared him. He was afraid that he'd destroyed everything. Well, he knew he'd destroyed everything, but now he was forced to do the impossible of trying to find a way to get Rinoa to not hate him. He knew that would be no easy task; she, of all people, could hold a grudge, but that wasn't the main problem he was faced with. He had a bigger problem than that, but he didn't want to admit it. He had hoped it wouldn't boil down to this but obviously, he was wrong, like most things.

"Mr. Leonhart?" he heard Principal Kramer's voice from across the room and looked up to find him standing just inside the Gym. "May I ask what you are doing?" He didn't sound mad, just curious.

"Thinking," Squall answered with a shrug. His eyes dropped to the floor, and he said nothing else.

Principal Kramer walked over to the young man and took a seat beside him. He never saw this young man that often as he seemed to be a good kid, but tonight he'd proven everyone wrong, but somehow, he didn't think the young man meant any initial harm.

Squall definitely didn't like being alone with the Principal, especially in the dead of the night. Somehow, this just didn't sit well with him. He stiffened his body involuntarily and said nothing but waited for the Principal to take charge. He figured a lecture would come, but he couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Oh? Just thinking?" He asked. He drummed his fingers lightly on his knees to a rhythm that Squall immediately reckonized. "About what may I inquire?"

"How badly I screwed up," Squall answered before he actually realized what he was saying. He was never one to admit failure and now he was being forced to do just that.

"So you're having regrets? I got the impression that you were quite proud of yourself." The Principal tried not to sound spiteful but remain calm enough to have a decent conversation with him.

"No," Squall shook his head. "No one could be proud of that."

"I see, then why did you do it?" The Principal asked.

Squall looked up at him for the first time, struggling to control his temper. "I already explained that." He said through clenched teeth.

"Alright, alright. No need to get hostile. I just thought that maybe you'd give me the real story now that you have no one to protect." He threw his hands up in some sort of defense.

Now he was shocked. "I wasn't protecting anyone."

"Your mouth tells me that but your face tells me otherwise. Tell me, was there a reason why you felt the need to take it all on your own?" He lowered his glasses down the bridge of his nose.

"Because I had to. It was all my fault, so I deserve all the blame. There's no other reason for it." Squall shrugged. He wasn't too keen on having this conversation, but he would endure it for now. After all, this was better than going home to complete abomination.

"Now why do you see it as your fault."

"Because I planned it, put it together, and executed it. I did it all. Seifer was only there to humor me. He did nothing wrong. It's all my fault." Squall looked away again. If perhaps that he didn't get expelled, he realized that he would have to face the entire school, and there would still be some people who didn't have fun and would be very angry at him. Expulsion almost seemed like a better option. Almost.

"But that doesn't mean you have to take all the blame. You could share some of it, since Mr. Almasy is more than willing." The Principal suggested.

"I can't let him do that. He's my best friend, and the last thing I need to do is involve him and get him expelled, too." Squall leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees.

"That may be so, but there's no guarantee that you will be expelled." The Principal replied.

"I deserve to be," Squall whispered. He knew he was probably writing his own death sentence, but he was beyond caring at this point. He knew what he'd done, and he knew it was wrong.

"So, you would rather take expulsion then perhaps a few days of out of school suspensions and detention?" Principal Kramer asked.

"Yes," Squall said without hesitation. "I deserve expulsion."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Not at all. A wrong done is a punishment deserved." Squall replied, staring forward. It amazed Principal Kramer that Squall could hold that much determination.

"Ah, and Estharian proverb." The older man clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and smiled.

"It serves the purpose." Squall commented, in agreement with the Principal's statement. And then they fell into silence, which Squall found more awkward than before with seemingly forced conversation. He waited for the older man to say something, but instead he looked forward, nodding his head to now particular rhythm with closed eyes. He looked content enough, but something was eating at Squall. He suddenly wanted to run, to get out of there before the whole thing ate him alive in enormous pain.

"Well, it sure is getting late for me and you, too." Principal Kramer looked to Squall over the rims of his thick glasses. "Perhaps you should get home before the sun rises." The statement was meant to be humor, but Squall didn't laugh or even crack the smallest smile. His face remained somber and his eyes as cold and dark as the night.

"It won't do any good." Squall said as he jumped of the stage. He grabbed his suit jacket that had managed to find its way onto the floor and attempted to proceed to the door, but the Principal grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

"Make sure you know what you want, and you know the consequences. I'd hate to see you throw your life away over something that was unnecessary." The Principal said. He wanted to give Squall the best opportunity that he could, but he was afraid that his mind was already made up.

"I deserve it, and it's meant to be." With that he wrenched away from the Principal's grasp and proceeded out the door.

The Principal watched him leave with sad eyes. He was afraid for the young man. He'd made one mistake that would do nothing short of ruin his life. He wanted to do what he could for him, but his hands were tied behind his back. It's Squall's life, and he had to do this on his own. Once he walked out that door, all the protection he once had within the comfort of the school and his parents would be gone forever.

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Squall pushed the doors open and took a step outside. He looked around as the snow had turned to rain. He'd had enough of water; it just seemed to ruin everything- literally.

"So much for a winter fantasy," he muttered distastefully. He pushed through the cold rain and wind to his car. He thought about going home but then decided against it. The last thing he wanted was to go home to another lecture from his parents. He was sick of lectures; he was sick of hearing than he had done something wrong and immoral when he already knew that. He was capable of distinguishing the difference between right and wrong, and he knew that tonight he had done something majorly wrong, and he'd be paying for it for a long, long time.

Instead, he opted to go somewhere else, although he didn't know where. He figured he'd just go driving to nowhere. He could stay up all night if he had to. He was tempted to just drive out of Balamb and never come back. He would have actually preferred that, but unfortunately, that wasn't an option. He still had a few apologies to make to certain people, and before he could drive off into the dark abyss, he had to get out of Hell first.

He thought about going to Joe's, but he knew it wouldn't be open. He wanted to go somewhere and be alone with his thoughts, as they were the only companions he probably had left. That was all he really wanted. He needed to work this out, but he didn't think there was much he could do.

He got into his car and just started driving, not knowing where he was going. His phone vibrated several times, and he knew it had to be his mother. He didn't answer but threw the thing into the back seat of his car, and let it vibrate all it wanted.

And he drove on.

He drove past Balamb and onto the road that eventually led to the mountainous woods to the west of Balamb. He'd never been back there, but it seemed like the perfect, secluded spot to hide himself for a few hours.

The road led back there was rough and untravelled, but what looked like fresh tire tracks led the way. He thought he remembered someone telling him that there was a cliff on the other side that looked over the ocean. He could hide himself back there for days if need be.

It took a good twenty minutes just to get through the road. Snow and rain made it dangerous and extremely muddy. He wondered if he'd even get back out before spring, but he figured it would be worth it.

That was, until he saw the silver Jaguar parked at the end of the road. Mud trailed up the sides of the car, and he looed around to see no one anywhere near the place. He got out of his car and walked around the other to see a small, equally muddy trail that he hadn't seen before. He was slightly wary to head down that path, but he didn't see another path anywhere else. So he went down it against his will. He thought he knew what waited for him once he reached the end, but he couldn't be completely sure. He walked through the mud and the snow for a good hundred yards before the trees even began to thin out. As he approached what he assumed was the end, he heard a sound. It was a soft, warm sound, and as he proceeded closer, he could distinguish words within the melodious sound.

She came into view, wearing a dark hoodie and jeans and sitting on the edge of the snowy cliff. The trees cleared out about five feet in front of him and he leaned against one, just to watch her and listen.

She sang a sad song, one of hurt and possibly longing. He knew then that he had awakened a nightmare deep within her, and she was paying the price for his actions, for his stupidity. This night had meant so much to her, and he ruined it just because he was jealous. Now, he was almost glad that he would probably be expelled. At least then he wouldn't have to see her everyday and see the horrible thing he'd done to her.

She must have sensed his presence because she stopped singing. He could hear the tears through her voice, but now that she was quiet, he heard the soft sniffling, too. But anyway, she stopped and just sat there. Maybe she was waiting for him to say something? He actually wasn't even sure that she knew he was there. He just leaned against the tree and watched her. The rain was now coming down harder, and he found it ironic that it was cold and raining. He thought it fit the mood of the night, at any rate.

"Here to gloat?" she asked, barely raising her voice above a whisper, but he heard her all the same. She never moved but somehow knew it was him.

"No," he replied, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. He was shocked that she knew he was there without even turning around.

"Shocking," she whispered dryly, her voice dropping down low again until he couldn't hear her. She continued to look out across the dark waters through the rain. He didn't reply or move from his spot against the cold, wet tree. He was waiting for the thunder that she would release on him, but so far, it hadn't come. It was calm between them, and he didn't like it. He wanted her to just yell at him and be done with this night, and he was now just waiting for the world to end.

He thought about apologizing to her, but he knew that wouldn't do him any good. No amount of apologizing could make up for the fact that he ruined something that she had worked extremely hard on and that was supposed to be magical. He destroyed her dreams of a perfect night, letting himself be controlled by a jealous rage. If she liked his brother, he had to accept that no mater how aggravating and degrading it was. He couldn't let himself linger in the past of something that never was. If she didn't' want him, he had to understand and not hold a grudge. After what he did tonight, he owed her that much respect.

"Why?" she asked moments later after he had come to the conclusion that he couldn't hold a grudge anymore.

He pushed himself off the tree and began to walk to her but stopped a few feet behind her. He was close enough to see the water that extended below the cliff and smell the strong salt within it. He had expected this question from her but found that he could not answer clearly. In fact, he didn't even remember why he had done this horrible deed.

"I don't know," he answered slowly, shaking his head. That was the truth, unfortunately. He didn't understand why he had done this. It didn't make sense anymore. Before, he knew exactly why. He was doing this out of revenge, but now that forced a question to arise: Just on who was he seeking revenge? He was beginning to think that maybe he'd done it on himself, out of revenge on himself.

"You don't even know? How novel." Rinoa whispered.

Squall bit his tongue and said nothing to her sarcastic remark. He didn't want to make her even more of an enemy than he had to. In fact, he didn't even want her as his enemy at all. He couldn't keep an enemy close to him.

"I suppose saying I'm sorry would help much, would it?" Squall asked, forcing himself to speak the words.

"It's a start, but no, not really. 'I'm sorry' won't change anything. 'I'm sorry' won't bring back the perfect night that was supposed to happen." She struggled to speak as a fresh wave of tears came over her. She tried o wipe them away, but that didn't work. There were too many of them.

Despite the fact he knew that he shouldn't approach her, he walked up to her, knelt down and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the back of her head. He knew he was the last person she expected a support from, but he was there anyway, holding her close.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear. She was so cold, radiating almost no heat from her body, and she shivered in his arms.

"Sorry doesn't make me feel any better." She sobbed, clutching his arms tightly.

"I know," he held her tighter against him. "I know I screwed up, but I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to ruin your night. I just-" But she interrupted him.

"Just stop talking," she commanded through her tears. "Save your excuses. I don't want to hear it."

He obliged and said nothing more but held her tighter, trying to warm her cold body and protect her. He was surprised that she actually allowed him to even touch her, let alone hold her. He knew there wasn't much he could do to comfort her, but he would try all the same. He cared about her, even though every time he tried to care, he ended up doing something stupid to push her away.

She shivered against him, and he realized that she was nearly soaked completely through from the rain and the snow.

'You should probably get out of this cold before you catch pneumonia." He whispered, breaking his obligation to not speak.

"I'm surprised you care," she replied bitterly, now shaking. She fought it though. She obviously didn't want to show that she was cold and weak.

"Don't do that." He snapped harshly, losing his temper he tried so hard to maintain.

"Well, excuse me. I am." She replied, pulling out of his arms.

"You don't need to be," He snapped back. He had a feeling that he storm was coming and I scared him.

"Well, I am, but tell me if you cared so much then why did you feel the need to destroy everything I worked for? Are you that heartless that you couldn't give me one night to be proud of myself for what I did?" she demanded.

"Maybe I don't have a heart, but that is no why I did that! I had other reasons!" he retaliated.

"Oh, really? Well, couldn't you have picked another night to ruin my life and not this one?" she raised her voice in an irritated fashion.

"Sorry, princess, but that night just fit perfectly." He was mocking her now, and she didn't like it. It was bad enough that he tried to ruin her life, but now he was mocking her, and that made her even madder.

"Tell me something." She said, losing her temper and taking a step closer to him.

"What?" he snarled. He hadn't wanted it to be like this but knew that it was inevitable from the beginning. He should've known that she would get mad.

"Why did you feel the need to screw this up when you knew it meant so much to me/" she demanded. He said nothing. "You knew that I had been stressing over this all week. You knew that I was doing everything I could to make it perfect. You knew that this meant so much to me, so why? Why did you do this to my night? And me." She stared him in the eyes, honestly wanting to know why he had done what he'd done.

But he didn't have an answer for her. He couldn't answer her. It just wasn't possible for him to give her a straight answer that she wanted to hear, so he turned away and tried to walk away, but she grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"What?" he asked.

"Why?" she asked again, kinder.

He shook his head. "I told you I don't know." He looked away from her, revealing his weakness.

"I don't believe you." She tugged on his arm. "Tell me."

"Can we get out of this before you get sick?" he asked, exasperated. He no longer cared about himself.

"No!" she said quickly, digging her nails into his arm. "I need to know. Why would you want to hurt me?" He felt his heart rip and shatter into a thousand pieces as he watched her.

"I-I," but he just couldn't force himself to say it. He couldn't bear to tell her that it was basically a jealous rage, and he's been seeking revenge on everyone who had tried to mess with his life. He didn't want her to know that, at first, she had been a target, but then he tried to stop it. He didn't want to go through with it. He finally managed to look her in the eye. "Believe me, I never meant to hurt you. I would never do that intentionally."

"But you did," she said, trying not to cry, but it was becoming difficult.

Squall looked away again and cursed himself and his luck. He didn't like to see her upset, and he didn't like the fact that he was the cause either. "Look, let's just get out of the cold." He grabbed her arm and attempted to walk forward but she wouldn't move. He glanced back at her in confusion. "What?"

She pulled her hand out of his and shook her head. "I should still be mad. I should hate you, and part of me does, but it's just not that easy. I just can't say I hate you that I never want to see you again and be done with it. My mind tells me to do that, but my heart doesn't work that way. It never has. I've been hurt. I've been wounded, but I've always managed to find a way to heal. Until now, that is. I'm torn in the middle, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what to do." Her eyes fell to the ground.

Squall knew he had a choice here, and he needed to choose wisely. The most obvious and possibly wisest decision was right in front of him, and he knew it would be best for both of them.

"Rin," he stopped, frowned, and then forced himself to drop her old pet name. "Rinoa, I don't think it's wise to remain whatever we were before. I tried so hard to earn your respect and your friendship, but then when I got close, I screwed up. It's not going to work. Something tells me it won't. I'll just continue to mess things up. I'll be perfect for a while, and then I'll make a mistake that puts everything in jeopardy. That's not worth your time. You're better than that and you deserve better than me." He hated the words even as they came out, but they needed to be said. He needed to make her understand that they were never meant to be. Their friendship, even their love was forbidden to a certain degree, and he couldn't get around that. He couldn't find a door out of his prison. He was stuck in there, and he was meant to be alone.

"So, you're going to just walk away?" She asked. Her jaw tightened as she kept from saying what she obviously wanted to say. She was holding back, and he tried not to object.

"I have to," he looked away. "There's no other way."

You'll still be here, though, won't you? You'll sill be here if I need you, right?" she asked.

"You won't need me, but I'll be around." He replied with a short nod.

"I don't agree with this. I'm still mad from the dance, but it just doesn't matter anymore, I guess." She looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head sadly. He hated himself now more than ever, but she was right. It didn't matter anymore. "I'll be around." He whispered again.

"Okay," she nodded with a small shiver.

He remembered that they were still standing outside in he cold and the rain. He looked over his shoulder back down he trail where he had come. "We'd better get out of here."

She said nothing but walked past him, down the trail to her car. He just stood there where he was, staring in the opposite direction, off toward the cliff. He was seriously considering just jumping over the side and falling down into the water below, but he couldn't do that. He had to get through this rationally and not do anything stupid. This whole thing would be over sooner or later, and he just had to endure it until then.

He heard a car start and knew that she was leaving. He also knew that this was probably the last conversation that they would ever have, but he had to be okay with that and he would. He may not be strong, but he could endure.

He didn't leave for another few minutes, but when he did, he still had no idea where to go, so he just drove on.


A/N: Hey! I know that this may seem like the end, but it's not. I still have 4 chapters left, and believe me, a lot can happen in 4 chapters. Inserts evil laugh here. Anyway, I'm going to bed. Hope you enjoyed it! R&R and Later days!!