Castiel sighed feeling bored and restless that Friday evening and picked up his mobile dialling Dean's number.
"I miss you, let me come over?" he said the moment he picked up.
Dean chuckled and hesitated glancing over to the couch. "I have…company"
Castiel straightened up feeling his heart beat a little faster. "What?"
"I'll let him say hi" Dean teased walking over and picking up Daniel from his place on the couch. "Say hi"
Castiel waited with baited breath hearing a snuffle.
"Dada, dada" Daniel said repeatedly making Dean chuckle and shake his head.
"No, dada is in town with mama" Dean said taking the phone away.
Castiel breathed out a sigh of relief and let his head fall back hitting the wall.
"You're babysitting your nephew"
"Yeah, of course I am, why…what were you thinking?" Dean murmured with a smirk.
"Shut up, can I still come over?"
"Sure, but I'm babysitting him all night. Sam and Jess are in town visiting friends and I opted to babysit"
"That's okay" Castiel murmured softly. "I'll be there in ten"
Dean smiled hanging up and looking towards Daniel who looked around looking bored.
"You'll see dada tomorrow"
Castiel knocked on the front door fifteen minutes later and gave him a small smile when he opened the door holding Daniel.
"This is Daniel?" Castiel said staring at the nine month old child in his arms.
"Yeah, this is my nephew" Dean said proudly shutting the door.
Daniel stared at him confused looking up to Dean who smiled back at him.
"Dada"
"No, no, this is Cas" he said waving his little hand at Castiel who gave a faint smile. Daniel smiled kicking his legs and reaching towards him.
"May I?" he said gesturing to Dean who nodded passing over the baby. "He's very cute"
"Looks like Sammy when he was a baby" Dean said walking into the living room.
Castiel hummed looking over Daniel who looked back at him open mouthed.
"I think I may be fascinating" he murmured walking back towards his playpen and dropping him down inside it gently.
"You're one of those things" Dean said tilting his head as he scanned his back checking out his ass. Castiel turned noticing him and straightened up with a knowing look.
"We have a child in the room"
"Really? I thought it was midget" Dean said with mock surprise moving over and kissing him firmly.
Castiel smiled into the kiss pulling back to shake his head.
"Naughty" he murmured pecking his lips and looking down to Daniel who had found his pacifier and sucked on it hard playing with a musical trumpet.
"Missing me already?" Dean questioned titling his chin around to face him.
"I always miss you, Dean, you're a part of me now" he said honestly looking into his eyes. Dean felt his cheeks flush at the statement and he pulled away looking down at Daniel.
"Hungry little man?" he said picking him up with a groan and sitting down with the bottle. Castiel sat next to him watching him feed the baby with a growing feeling of affection, he watched as Dean stared down at him with a small unmoveable smile.
"Would you ever want a family?"
"I don't know" Dean said glancing up to him. "I've never really thought about it"
"You've never thought of having children?"
"No, I'm not interested in that"
Castiel tilted his head leaning back into the warm cushions content to watch Dean feed and burp Daniel. It was a comforting and content feeling watching Dean go by a different part of his life and it comforted him that he was a part of it.
"Okay, tiger, we've had our fun, you've had bottle and have pyjamas on and now we're going to bed" he said holding him tight and walking him into the bedroom. "You're going to be a big man about it and sleep aren't you?"
Castiel followed after him watching him rock Daniel gently singing an old song he had never heard about and sighed gently. Despite the fact it had been four days since he had seen Chuck, his words had not left him. Castiel feared the future more than ever and he feared the outcome. He didn't want to lose Dean at all but if the future is invertible and unchangeable, then he was screwed.
Dean gasped a little placing Daniel in his crib and stepped back holding his hands up.
"I'm a genius" he whispered turning to Castiel with a grin. Castiel nodded watching him move towards him and close the door over softly. "I have these if he cries"
Dean shook the baby monitor and moved away from him and sat down on the couch.
"Dean?"
"Yeah?"
Castiel took his place next to him bringing his hand up to massage the back of Dean's hair.
"Do you ever think about our future? I mean, we may or may not have one…but do you ever sit down and imagine what it would be like if we were together in three years' time"
Dean regarded him thoughtfully and pursued his lips.
"If we had a future and it's a major if, I guess…I guess I would like to be living in California or Florida were it is nice and sunny with a beach and if I had my way I'd be with you, you would be in medical school, I would be teaching an adult history class instead of here. We'd be somewhere where no one would know us so it wouldn't be a secret anymore" Dean said looking up at the ceiling. "But it's just a silly little fairy tale that will never happen"
"Who says it won't?"
"I do"
Castiel swallowed running his fingers into the soft fine hairs at the back of his neck feeling him shiver underneath his hand.
"Dean, we can have any future we want if we really work for it. There is no one to stop us"
"That's dreams and bullshit, Cas, you're living in a fantasy world if you think we could ever have that" Dean said turning towards him and fixing him with a hard glare. "We're skating on thin ice in a boiling sun and every day it's melting away till the point where we're going to fall in"
"I don't want to lose you" Castiel whispered with a shaky breath.
"I know, Cas, I do but life isn't like that and sacrifices are always made"
Castiel stiffened and straightened feeling Chuck's word echo in his head and looked into the closely guarded green eyes.
"What sacrifices?"
"Our families, our friends, our lifestyles, our jobs, and our own free will" Dean said slipping further down the couch. "Everything will be tested without a doubt"
"I hate that this is so complicated" Castiel murmured removing his hand and slipping down with him.
"Because we're not meant to be together, Cas, a teacher and a student is frowned upon because it breaks every rule" Dean said grinding his teeth together. "I never meant for this to happen, I didn't want it to happen, but you're a temptation I gave into. I lusted for you, Cas, you're gorgeous, you're sexy, and you are everything I have ever wanted. You make me laugh, smile, hurt, you make me jealous, and worst of all you make me feel things I shouldn't"
Castiel listened with wide eyes as Dean opened up his heart and soul without the use of alcohol.
"I've been in love with a woman and it hurt like hell when that ended. I've now fallen in love with a man and I know it'll hurt worse"
"Why?" Castiel whispered.
Dean half smiled amused and shook his head softly. "Because I don't just love you, I'm in love with you and that's why…it will end"
Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat and felt an ache build up inside him that wouldn't fade. Moving his head to Dean's shoulder he simply laid there not speaking a word in reply to him, there were no words.
~0~
It was a new week and no matter what he did; Dean couldn't erase what he had said. It was thoughtless and those spoken words had already caused damage. Dean had never, ever, been so open with his feelings and that scared him to death. He had opened up so willingly for Castiel and now he knew things would screw up, they always did.
Dean was marking the last remaining essays on his break when Castiel came in.
"Hey" he murmured softly when he walked in and shut the door.
"I just came to tell you that I won't be around tonight"
"Okay, why?"
"Because I have a lot of revision to do" Castiel said looking back to his heavy bag. "If I want to make medical school then I need to knuckle down with my studies"
"Excellent thinking" Dean commented praising him.
"Will you miss me?" Castiel questioned with a teasing edge to his voice.
"No" Dean muttered with a smirk looking down at his desk.
"Liar"
"I'll see you soon" Castiel murmured giving him a last look before walking out. Dean gave him a sidelong glance and sighed writing in his journal.
Castiel walked into the library and over to his friends in the corner all revising. He stopped down next to Balthazar who grinned at him and slid over his history book.
"History?"
Castiel narrowed his eyes and pushed it back peering into his bag and groaning. "I've forgotten everything"
"Seriously?" Jo piped in looking up to them both.
"Have these" the three of them said in unison. Castiel watched as Jo flung her Literature book at him, Pamela gave him her chemistry book, and Ash gave him his calculus.
"Thank you" he murmured taking the books in surprise and looking over them. Balthazar nudged him gently in the ribs with a question on his mind.
"Don't you ever feel bad for lying to them?" he whispered in a low voice.
"No, they wouldn't understand" Castiel replied flicking open the chemistry book and writing down notes.
"They might…I did" he murmured back.
"That's because I made you swear not to tell and I know you won't"
"You know that for definite?"
"Yes" Castiel said looking up to the warm brown eyes and giving a small smile. Balthazar responded meeting his small smile and glanced down at his books.
"Fancy leaving all this and getting seriously drunk on shit wine?" he whispered with a chuckle.
"Not if I want to become a doctor"
"Spoilsport"
"Alcoholic" Castiel muttered with an amused smile.
Balthazar looked over at him and sighed longingly. If Dean wasn't in the picture he could make a move and it was the fact that he knew Castiel was in love with Dean that stopped him. He wouldn't ruin that, he knew it would ruin itself.
"When did studies ruin our lives?" Pamela said slamming her book down.
"The moment we came back from Christmas" Ash replied looking half asleep. "I hate studying! I forget it all"
"I second that" Jo murmured.
"I third that!" Pamela cried taking out a chocolate bar. "It's going to get me fat"
"You'll get your dream jobs" Castiel injected with a shrug.
"Oh, Casanova, my dream job is to become a chef. How is studying for science going to help me?"
"In lots of ways" he said with a shrug.
Pamela snorted amused and tossed it aside. "Anyway, we seriously need to get lives and relationships"
Balthazar's eyes lit up and he chuckled lightly getting a dark look from Castiel.
"What's so funny?" Jo said eyeing him up.
"Nothing, it's just a good subject" he said innocently. "Any relationship on the cards, Jo?"
"Me? No, not for me" she said looking down at her books.
"Pamela?"
"Oh I don't know… maybe there could be someone" she murmured looking over to him with a smirk.
Balthazar laughed openly and winked at her. "Ash?"
"Nope" he said rolling his eyes.
"Finally…Cas" he said looking over to Castiel who was glaring at him.
"No"
"What happened to that guy?" Pamela said looking over to him confused.
"It didn't work out"
Ash looked over to Jo who shrugged at him and carried on with her own studying.
"So…we're all single…that's so sad" Pamela said placing her head into her hands. "We're going to have no date for prom!"
"Prom?" Castiel said startled.
"Yes? All seniors have a prom before they leave and you will be going" she said pointing a finger at him.
"Oh shit" Balthazar said matching his disapproval over the event.
"I'm excited" Jo said with a small smile. "It's the end of school"
"True" Ash murmured with an approving nod.
Castiel sighed closing his eyes wanting nothing more than to miss that but with everyone going he would have to.
"Great, I can't wait" he lied and they all settled down to study.
~0~
The next day was the same as they settled down in one of the corridors in the school once again for revision. Ash and Jo were in the middle of a heated discussion over R.E and wouldn't let up. He hadn't spoken to Dean at all since yesterday morning and it was now the afternoon of the next day. Castiel hated not speaking to him or even seeing him and the craving to go find him rose up inside him. The hard floor beneath him made his thighs and ass hurt and he wondered why they weren't the library.
"Why are we not in the library?"
"It's full of little juniors and no one comes down here" Jo said with a shrug.
Castiel sighed packing his things up and moving out of the corridor. No one noticed or called out to him as he left and headed towards history. He peered through the window thankful for the empty corridor; everyone was either outside or the library.
Dean looked up when Castiel strolled in without knocking and raised an eyebrow.
"Abusing your power?"
"Did you miss me?"
"You've been gone a day, let's try a week" Dean said standing up and circling his desk to face him. "How was studying?"
"Why do you hate us all? I mean all this studying kill brain cells"
"It's good for you and these exams will not pass themselves"
"You could sit them for me?" Castiel hinted and smiled when Dean laughed.
"No way, you need to make a career for yourself"
Castiel hummed trailing his eyes down him and sighed. "I love you in that"
Dean looked down at his black shirt and jeans with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"You look sexy"
Back in the corridor, Pamela looked over to Balthazar with his earphones in and frowned noticing a missing person.
"Hey" she said kicking his foot. "Where is Casanova?"
"No idea" he said with a shrug looking to the empty spot. "Probably gone for a walk"
"Or Narnia, he has my book and I need it"
"Me two" Jo said with a sigh.
"Me three" Ash piped up looking over to them both.
Pamela sighed grabbing her stuff. "Come on; let's go find the wayward boy"
Jo and Ash followed suit leaving Balthazar on his own and he bit his lip praying he had just gone the toilet and wasn't with a certain person right now.
"Let's spilt up like Scooby Doo" Pamela said with a smirk. "If we find him, I'll whistle"
"Oh go away" Jo said shoving her away when she cackled going the other way and Ash sighed going down the stairs.
"Why are you here?" Dean said rolling his eyes at him.
"I miss you"
"You always miss me; you're like an eager puppy wanting attention"
"Should I be offended?" he said with a little gasp.
"No, but you are an eager puppy"
"Puppies are irresistible" Castiel said reaching up to him and biting down on his own lip. Dean looked down and watched the action feeling a flutter in his stomach.
"I have missed you" Dean murmured cupping the back of his neck and they met at the same time as they leaned into kiss.
They kissed slowly and parted when Dean pulled away leaning against his forehead.
"Reckless behaviour" he whispered and pulling back to look at him.
Unaware to both of them a figure had appeared outside of the door and peered into the class watching the scene before them. They watched as Castiel spoke unknown words to Dean who responded with a smile and spoke something back.
"If you've missed me do something about it" Castiel teased. "No one is out there, Dean, no one ever is"
Dean peered into his eyes and moved forward pulling him close capturing his lips. Castiel groaned when he backed him up pushing him onto the desk. Castiel drew back with a wide smirk glancing down to the desk and back to Dean who stared at him with lust blown eyes.
"This brings back a lot of memories" he whispered but was silenced when Dean covered his mouth. Castiel moaned fisting his hands into the short hair losing himself in the wonder of their kiss.
The figure at the door stared open mouthed at the scene in front of them and gasped moving away staring into nothing before running down the corridor alarmed.
Castiel pulled away from Dean with a gasp looking to the door with an expression of alarm. Dean frowned looking over to the door and back to Castiel.
"What?"
"I think I heard something" he whispered moving from the desk and opened the door peering into the empty corridor swallowing hard. "I heard footsteps running away"
"What?" Dean breathed feeling his heart kick into overdrive when Castiel shut the door and leaned against it. "But I could be wrong"
Dean looked away from him and collapsed against the wall taking in a deep breath.
"Fuck" he whispered not looking at Castiel who swallowed closing his eyes. He knew what he heard and someone had seen them but the most terrifying thing was they had no idea who it was and how to stop them from telling.
"Dean, what do we do?"
Dean looked over to him and shrugged. "We'll have to wait…we knew this was going to happen. I told you we'd have to be careful…this was always going to happen, Cas".
"I can't lose you!"
Dean didn't say anything and only watched as he moved towards him tucking his head underneath his chin leaning against his chest. Dean sighed bringing his arms around him and pressing his nose into his hair.
"I'm sorry, this is my fault, I pressed you into it. But we'll be alright as long as we stick together" he whispered listening to his beating heart.
Dean pressed his lips into a straight line and wanted to believe that but he couldn't. They were screwed.
A/N: Ahaha! Who was it? Cookies for anyone who guesses right, it could be anyone.
I'm nearly at 200 reviews. I have no words at all. Thank you!