Chapter 21

Breakdown By Daughtry

Well, I'm sitting alone thinking about it all over coffee.
And still crowdin' my space are the things you still hold against me.
You cannot save me.

Well, it's not the time to breakdown.
It's not the time to breakdown.
It's not the time to break up this love,
Keep it together now.
It's not the time to break.

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Haru blinked "W-what?"

Yuki nodded silently "I never told anyone but…yeah, I was there…I'd followed her after she left the main house. I was concerned…" he could hear Yuki suck in a shaky breath "and I just…saw it coming…I saw her stop in the middle of the street to catch her breath…I yelled at her but…it was all over too fast…"

Haru could see Yuki begin to tremble and shake as he stared down at Airah. But by some remarkable force didn't cry. Haru knew he was holding it all in. It was why he was this way…

"Yuki-chan…why didn't you go and tell someone..?"

Yuki turned around and stared at Haru with a Blank violet stare…

"I couldn't…I was scared, Haru-kun…"

"But it would've been better if you'd told someone, wouldn't it? You could have told them what kind of car did it, or who, or just stop lying to her…" Haru said levelly, not wanting Yuki to escalate, but he did anyways.

"Yes, I'm a wimp, okay?! Everyone knows that I'm too stupid to do anything about something, or to fight for myself, or to even save my fucking girlfriend!!"

Kyo walked in right at that moment and joined Haru in surprise.

"Wha…Yuki-kun…" Haru said slowly as a response to Yuki's unusual cussing.

"Just get out of my way: I'm leaving."

"I can't let you do that "Hatori said, from the doorway. He looked only slightly shocked at Yuki's outburst, but seemed more firm and calm now as he stood firmly in the doorway...

"I have to" Yuki said savagly, attempting to push past Haru and Hatori on his way out. "I can't stay here: I'll only cause her more pain…"

"No it won't" even Yuki turned in surprise to see Kyo, who had spoken, staring down at Airah, and then at Yuki.

"I-it won't" he repeated hesitantly "because she…loves you, Yuki-kun…i-if you weren't here, she told me that she would've…killed herself…m-many years ago…"

"Or been killed" Yuki said in response, seemingly ignoring Kyo's comment "As I told Haru-kun: it's my fault everything's happened. From the first time I met her…"

"But it wasn't" Haru added, trying to stay calm as Yuki sat and beat himself down "Yuki-kun, you need to see that: think of what you've done for each other! You can't just leave her, only to cause her even more pain by causing some upon yourself. "

Yuki didn't reply, but instead shoved Hatori aside and stalked down the hall. They stared at his back, and Haru sighed

"This isn't good…what if Airah-san wakes up before he decides to come back?"

"If he does" Hatori sighed "Someone needs to go after him…he can't be doing that, not now…"

"I'll go" Haru said softly, and without another word followed Yuki out the door as he left the hospital and walked away towards the main house…

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Yuki didn't know what to do. He felt so lost, and helpless, having finally revealed the one secret he'd resolved never to reveal and now…if Airah knew, she was bound to hate him…why did he leave her that day, and just run back home? Why couldn't he have gone back for her and taken her to the hospital right away? All the questions he'd blocked out for the past two months rushed back to him, and tormented him slowly until he couldn't take it. He stopped at a corner near the Sohma house and waited, watching the traffic. Maybe if he died…everything would be set right…Airah would be able to live a happier, longer life without him, and she could go off to live somewhere else away from Akito, and find someone else to love her…yes, all that equation needed was him, out of the picture…he wondered…

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Haru stopped after running to catch up to Yuki. He was stuck at an intersection, and didn't know which way to turn. Yuki ran too fast, even when he had breathing troubles. But one way lead to the main house, and he wasn't sure Yuki had the guts to go near there. But suddenly, he heard a car screech, and sprinted off in the same direction. He hoped that Yuki hadn't done anything stupid to himself…

"Yuki-kun!" he called in relief, seeing Yuki standing in the middle of the street. He stared back at him and then began to sprint back along the road. The cars honked angrily at the teenager running in the middle of the road, but he could see that Yuki didn't pay attention. Instead, he ran faster, moving closer to the middle of the lane. Finally, he collapsed to his knees. He couldn't go on anymore. Maybe now someone would hit him…to end his pitiful excuse for a life…until he felt something dragging him back to the sidewalk and waving on a couple of cars that had stopped to watch him.

"Yuki, what were you thinking?"

"I wanna die…" Yuki said, not wanting to talk about it. But Haru did.

"Why? Why can't you see that it's not your fault, Yuki-kun? You're so absorbed in your self-hate to see anything outside it…"

"Her life would be better without me…she's only staying in Japan because of me…" Yuki said quietly, but let Haru pull him up onto a nearby bench. As Yuki suddenly felt a sudden chill, Haru took off his fur-collared coat and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"Thanks…" Yuki mumbled, but Haru shrugged

"At least you're being normal now. Seriously, you were acting scary back there"

"I know" Yuki said sighing "But I can't do it, Haru-kun…she's been in too many accidents lately…this past few days being the worst…I mean, If she hadn't gone home with me, she'd most likely be with me back home right now…"

"You didn't do anything, Yuki-kun" Haru repeated for what seemed to be the millionth time. "She didn't want to go back because of Akito, not because of you."

"You don't get it! SHE LOVED ME! SHE CAN'T! I CAN ONLY HURT HER!"

Haru shook his head and disbelief, trying not to raise his voice back.

"But that's why she's still alive! It's her love for you that keeps her going! SHE LOVES YOU TOO!"

Yuki just flung me off, but Haru grabbed onto his arm before he can get far. He glared at Haru, his Dark purple eyes contrasted sharply with his unusually pale skin. Haru sighed, but he didn't let go of Yuki's arm.

"Come back with us. At least until she wakes up."

Yuki's shoulders drooped in defeat, and Haru began to lead him back to the hospital. But Yuki shrugged away.

"What?" Haru questioned.

"Take me home. I just want to go home now."

Haru raised a questioning eyebrow, but turned the other way and led Yuki back home.

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The next morning, Yuki went to school. Holidays were over, and he didn't want to miss any more school than he had since Airah's first accident two months ago. And so, he woke up at 5:30 and, before going to the school, stopped by the Hospital.

Airah was in the same condition, although she seemed more peaceful now. He was glad no one was at the hospital to see him cry as he sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at her pale face. Five minutes later, he looked up at the clock and, realizing he was going to be late, wiped his sleeve across his eyes and walked out of the hospital sadly.

If only there was some way for him to help her. To make her better, to save her from the world…

Yuki kicked a pole in anger, soon regretting it as pain shot up his leg. Limping, he walked up to the school to see a worried Tohru standing with the others in front of the gate.

"Sohma-kun! Thank goodness you're okay! "

He smiled one of his fake smiles at her before turning to walk into the school. Before he got far, however, he felt someone tugging on his arm. It was Haru.

"Hey, you okay today?"

Yuki shrugged, but he knew Haru could see through it easily. It didn't help that he coughed roughly at that exact moment. Haru took advantage of this and pulled Yuki up bride style. Yuki, blushing, immediately protested.

"Haru wha-what are you DOING!?"

Haru smiled "The Prince shouldn't strain himself walking all the way upstairs to the top floor. And so I, your loyal man, shall take thee up."

"You're nuts" Yuki grumbled, but Haru's grin just broadened.

"Indeed."

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Kyo walked out of the classroom for lunch, but changed course when he noticed a flash of silver heading up to the roof. He followed, curious to see why the school prince wanted to go up there. He followed as Yuki went over and sat on one of the ledges near the edge. Kyo tried to stay quiet as he walked over, but stupidly tripped over a piece of metal lying on the ground. Yuki turned quickly, wiping his sleeve across his eyes for the second time that day. Kyo watched in silence, but was surprised to see the usually strong prince coming up here to cry…maybe he'd done it before and he'd not noticed. There was a lot he hadn't noticed before about Yuki. He stared at the silver haired boy thoughtfully as Yuki glared.

"Whaddya want, stupid cat."

Kyo blinked, "N-nothing! What the hell are you doing up here anyways?!"

"Nothing" Yuki replied coldly. "Now if you will excuse me, I'm going down to the nurse."

"Why?" Kyo asked without thinking, then adding "damn rat."

Yuki just turned back from the door, and said "I'm going home. I don't feel well."

"Then maybe you should've stayed home! You're gonna get worse if you stay!"

Yuki slammed the door as Kyo blushed at his own niceness. Maybe seeing Yuki with Airah after she fell made him realize how much he'd changed from when he'd known him before. He wasn't just the rat anymore: he was Yuki Sohma.

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"Well" the nurse said as Yuki sat on the chair in her office "I'm surprised you're even AT school today. Did you realize that you have a fever of 104?"

"No…" Yuki replied tiredly, closing his eyes. "I just want to go home really…"

She smiled "I heard about the tragedy at your house last night….the poor family…wasn't the one girl your girlfriend, Airy or something like that? Someone mentioned it last night in the teacher's lounge…"

"Yes…" Yuki said, groaning" now can I please just go home?"

She smiled and handed him a slip of paper.

"Here: Hope you feel better, honey."

He smiled fakely and nodded, then checked out and began to walk towards the hospital. He'd been worried all day, and he just wanted to see her again…

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A/N: weird chapter, I guess….and a weird place to stop…oh well…

HI! 4 or so more chapters to the first part of this story! Yay!

Kira-chan