Chaptel 21
Legit AN: I think we're on the last leg of the "Styrofoam" here. I'm thinking the Hillary Fuking Duff arc will be the last, unless any more inspiration falls my way. Thank you, who ever got this far. Lauren Henry by the way has no real life counterpart and is intended to be a stand in for the "Ellie Mayfair" mentioned in "Forbidden Fruit – the Tempation of Edward Cullen." And for the record I do not hate any of depressing books, just Cecilia does. Except Mockingjay. I can't stand those goddamn Hunger Games (I'm sorry, I know that's not a popular opinion.)
AN: U fokenperps! I'm gonna go flam ur stry! U suk 1111111111111111 Fang u (geedit, lik fang u 4 da vemon) Buddy!
Sudenly a gofic blak racecar drove by. It was blak and da seats were blak and it was blak. Suddenly we saw the driver… it was…Loopin Romulus! He was riding on his broomstic! (in da car) And Loopin was masticating to it!
I stupped screwin draco. He was so sexoy (that's the term for sexy soy) and so was I. No one is hawter dan Ebony Dark'ness Demen- I mean, Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose. That's my name.
Darkness, who was Voldemort, looked lik he wanted 2 secrew me an i waned to skreq him yoo. He TOOK OUT A CIGATEETE AND StARTED to smoke pot.
Shelly screamed again. The BackStrut boys were attackijg Honwarts! They we're playing there music intoo da school (geddit, skull, cause I like death) and turning all the goffs and the apparently existant punks into preps and posers! Cecilia and Hunter were lauhing wit joy (geddit, Lecicila's middle nam is Jyo?) and tehy were talking about poser things like the musik of Elton John and Cole Porter with the other preps and making fun at us goffs. The boys were we'aring white polos form Hawlister and Abercornbee and Filch. The gills were earing pink and blue dresses that said "u stupid goffs, u suk." All the Slyfernins were transfeared (geddit, cause I lik fear) to Griffindorr.
I on da otter hnad weas wearing a blak t wit baggy blak scatter bants dat seeded "fuk u Cecilia and especially u Lauren Henry!" (AN: I hope she DIES! She suks so hrad.)
Shelly screamed again. Vespa said "I want to slit my wristes. Du o waynna cum slit ur rists?" She looked so out oof cannon.
Everyone slit theor wristes and we all read derprzzing books: Les Misblerablahs, Blak Buety (geddit, I lik blak), Old Yellow, Bridge 2 Tabitia, a bunch of Newburry Medal winners, Where da red Fern grows, Twinelight, Warren Peace, da Outsidsers, Hamleet, Titus Andoreecus, Mokingjai, Jude de Obsquire, anything by Henry James, and My Immortal. We all talked in silence while more Swiferines turned into Grifinders.