Her eyes are clamped shut tight and she is bursting with emotion. She smells fire, earth and sunshine as she breathes deep. It could have been a minute or two, or even a lifetime later, Clarke wouldn't know. She was lost right now; the party, noise and excitement were all in the background while her focus was on the seven year old girl in her arms.
She was currently so lost in the feeling of Kai's tiny body against her. The girls legs were wrapped tight around her hips and her arms squeezing as tight as possible as if Clarke was going to disappear. And when she does finally open her eyes she can't contain the grin on her features or ignore the heart warming gaze Raven is giving her.
"Come on mamma bear let's go find a seat. My leg's a little sore," the mechanic beckons her away.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah thanks," Raven says. "This is to be expected remember, pain is something I'm used to. It's nothing I can't handle."
Clarke lifts Kai a little further up on her hip and begins to follow her friend. "I know," she says softly, sadly and truthfully. Raven can endure anything it seems; she's always been resilient, Clarke has always considered her constant. Everything about her friend screamed strength and she undoubtedly deserved way better than the difficulties life had thrown at her.
As Clarke holds on to Kai she follows Raven to sit down at a nearby table. She sets the girl down to sit on one side while Raven sits across from them. Clarke keeps a protective arm around the young girl's shoulders because Kai doesn't separate the sides of their bodies at all. She only sinks further into Clarke with her head resting in the crook of her shoulder with a yawn.
"I gotta admit, she's cuter than Octavia," Raven quips.
Clarke nods turning her gaze fondly to Kai, "Without a doubt."
"You're really good to them Clarke," Raven says turning her head to see the other Natblida's dancing and having fun.
"They deserve it Rae," the blonde hums. "They deserve so much more than this life has planned for most of them," she adds with a soft brush of her hand over Kai's arm.
Raven chews her cheeks for a moment and nods. "Yeah," she says. Then softer, "Yeah, I get that." They both understand that these kids are going to experience death, blood, battle and sacrifice at some point. It's just fact, life on the ground is like that - for now.
They both fall quiet in those thoughts while Clarke's hand absent-mindedly strokes the soft waves of Kai's hair. The girl had already begun to doze off against her side in the early morning hours and soft moonlight. Her eyes are closed, her soft sleepy grin present and her breathing slow. She's utterly relaxed in Clarke's safe embrace.
It brings a soft smile to the blonde's lips because the festival is nowhere near close to dying down. She's happy to see the excitement has tired Kai out; she's thrilled that the young girl experienced something completely normal tonight and her little body was responding accordingly.
Clarke runs a soft thumb against the girl's round cheek. Her heart is bursting with love as she looks at her, it's overwhelming and surprising how fast and how strong it has grown. This is terrifying," she confesses so quietly she is unsure if Raven could even hear her.
"What exactly?" Raven asks eyeing the two across from her and smiling.
"This, how normal and good this feels. How connected I feel to her, to them," Clarke explains softly. She accepts a refill of water from Mira with a nod of gratitude before the girl switches to fill Raven's cup.
"Thanks Mira," the mechanic says gesturing with the cup happily. The girl nods, gives a weak smile, backs off but stays close should she be needed again. Raven looks back to the blonde. "Clarke, you basically stepped off the dropship with a bunch of strangers and immediately felt responsible for them, cared for them. Are you really surprised the same has happened with these cute little killer kittens?"
Clarke chuckles softly, "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't be."
"You're fucking right you shouldn't be," Raven playfully scolds. "Had I known what I know now I would have cleaned up! Fuck, I could have put rations on it."
Clarke furrows her brow, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Fleimkeppa Clarke," Raven says with a wave like she should have known.
Clarke's eyebrows raise and she immediately looks around and leans closer, "Shhhh, keep it down will ya?"
She's internally cursing Octavia for letting that secret slip. She's going to have to beat some sense into her second tomorrow at training. For now, she hopes Octavia has a very large, very demanding hangover in the meantime.
Raven pulls at her collar with a finger and a grimace, "Fuck. Sorry, I didn't think it was a secret."
Clarke rolls her eyes, "For a genius you can be really thick you know that."
"Explain," the genius says haughtily.
The blonde huffs out a sigh, "You really think Titus is going to be okay with this? You think Lexa has mentioned it to him?" She shakes her head and furrows her brow, "Think about it: me replacing him. The man can barely stand our relationship or me as it is. I sleep with a knife under my pillow in case he gets some bright idea to come shoot me or something moronic."
Raven purses her lips, "Ah. Right. ...Blame it on the alcohol?" she shrugs apologetically with a frown.
"Just keep this between us ...and apparently I need to remind Octavia of her duties to me and don't you dare warn her Reyes! That was not her information to share and you know it." Clarke scolds quietly. When she sees the slightly hurt expression on Raven's face she quickly steps in to remove it, "Don't get me wrong Rae, I wanted to talk to you about it, I was just waiting until I was ready."
Raven nods and give her a sympathetic smile, "It's alright Griff. I get, no worries." Then she tilts her head, "For what it's worth Clarke I have total confidence in you. I think you're exactly the person needed for the job." She smiles and offers a hand across the table for Clarke to hang on to, "I've spent hours in those annexes and leafing through that journal you showed me. From what I've learnt: You, Lexa and both of your actions represent who and what these kids need to grow up to be; you're compassion and strength, fury and love."
She smiles warmly, "You're each balanced in your own rights but somehow, together, you manage to balance each other out in ways none of us expected. You're both examples of not only leaders but also what leadership requires." She pulls a loose hair behind her ear, "Forget the mountain, forget the fighting and battles; look at what you've done for them tonight alone. Octavia has been spending days with these kids and she said she's never seen them like this – 'acting like kids'. They were so awkward at first when you got them to dance and look at them now - they look free. Young."
Clarke sees what she means as she directs her attention to the party not far from them. The older Natblida students are still dancing lively, there are wide smiles and barks of laughter as they bump and move to the beat of the drums.
"Besides," Raven waves her water cup around and whispering, "You literally hold flames now. If that doesn't scream flamekeeper to you I don't know what will make you see it." She smirks triumphantly.
Clarke gives a small shake of her head and chuckles softly. She refrains from rolling her eyes because, well, she has a point.
"…I think. I think I'm going to do it," Clarke confesses after a few more minutes.
"I know," Raven responds simply. "We were just waiting for you to figure it out," she finishes as Abby comes over with Luna.
"Thanks Rae," Clarke whispers before the new additions arrive tot heir table.
When they sit down Luna is smiling wide. There's a twinkle in her eye and crinkles in her skin where her cheeks meet them, "I see where you get your energy from Clarke but your mother could definitely teach you a few moves."
Abby laughs with a light hand on Luna's shoulder, "I haven't danced like that in years! This is so much fun!" She's bubbly and excited; her exclamation wakes Kai who stirs against Clarke's side.
As Mira begins to offer drinks to the table, Clarke leans over slightly and jiggles Kai gently to coax her to wake up further. "Kai. Kai, wake up. I've got a surprise for you," she says softly.
The ice blue little eyes flutter open and the sleepy grin spreads wider across her face. She smacks her lips a few times and Clarke offers her her cup of water. The little girl thanks her softly and holds it with two hands swallowing it all. Mira promptly refills it for them and Clarke thanks her while Kai's tiny fist attempts to rub the sleep from her eye.
"Kai, remember what I promised you?" Clarke asks giving her a little squeeze.
The little girl looks excitedly now at Clarke, fully awake and nodding. She glances at the two new ladies seated with them a little nervously and Clarke's heart melts. "Which one is your mother Clarke?" she whispers softly in the blonde's ear with a small flush to her cheek.
Before Clarke can answer Lexa sits down with the softest, warmest smile on her face seeing Clarke with her arm still around Kai. The blonde returns it quickly and turns her attention back to the young girl. She points at her mom and speaks, "That one's my mother. Her name is Abby."
Kai looks at Abby shyly. Her glance flickers from Abby to Lexa and back to Clarke.
Clarke smiles softly and squeezes her tiny arm lightly. "Remember your manners," she whispers trying to coax the girl to respond. She can tell the nerves or excitement, or possibly Lexa's presence, has made her tongue disappear. She hasn't really met this side of Kai, she's never come across the shy quiet girl that sits beside her now.
Kai swallows and sits a little straighter gaining strength from Clarke. "Hello Abby of the SkaiKru, my-my name is Kai Kom TriKru." Kai manages to squeak out. Clarke notices the soft proud grin on Lexa's face from the corner of her eye and her heart flutters.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Kai," Abby says warmly. "I noticed your moves out there. You're really good!"
Kai lights up at the fact that Abby noticed her, "I could teach you!" she offers. "I tried to teach the little bird but," she pulled her hand to the side of her mouth and whispers, "…I fear she's hopeless."
Abby laughs and Raven slams her hand on the table, "That's it. I challenge you to a dance battle squirt!"
"I'm in!" Abby says happily standing again and offering her hand to Kai. The little girl checks her glance at Lexa then Clarke, who smiles and nods to encourage her. "I better not see anyone bleeding after this," Clarke playfully warns.
"No way I'm missing out on this," Luna says merrily like the giant child she can be and standing.
Kai giggles and hops up as well bounding forward to grab Raven's hand. "Come on little bird, I'm going to teach you how to fly!" Kai squeals as the three of them skirt off together to dance some more. Clarke watches fondly as the three of them begin to hop around and sway together. She feels Lexa move to sit beside her and lay a hand on her thigh. Clarke keeps her eyes on the dancing but leans into Lexa instantly. The brunette moves her hand from her thigh to be placed around her lower back. Her hand holds her hip securely, and her lips ghost over Clarke's ear, "You're really good with her Clarke."
The blonde sighs happily, "She's really good with me. She's taught me a lot about myself."
She feels a soft kiss laced to her temple before Lexa speaks softly, "I wish to thank you for what you have done for them Clarke. I know you are still apprehensive about what I asked but I want you to know, even if you don't take the position, I want you to be a part of their lives. No matter what Titus says, I won't keep them away from you if that is your wish."
Clarke melts and looks at those soft green eyes, "You don't have to thank me. It feels a lot like instinct when I'm with them. It feels right." She appreciates Lexa's words, she understands that she is letting her know she can have whatever relationship she chooses to have with them. She won't restrict her, she won't force her and she won't refuse her.
Lexa hums and squeezes her closer, "I'm happy they can provide you so much joy niron." love.
Clarke sighs happily, "I should be thanking you actually." She squeezes Lexa's thigh, "I never would have met them if not for you, I never would have known I had any sort of motherly instincts."
"Well I find that silly. Are you really surprised that you are good with them or that you care for them? Because you really shouldn't be, everything about you screams-" Lexa's mouth abruptly shuts as a real scream fills the air.
It cuts the music, the banging stops and the crowd stills.
Both women's eyes bolt towards the sound, Clarke's hand clenches the thigh it's on and Lexa stiffens her arm around her protectively. A second later and they are moving, instantly standing and heading toward the screaming woman near the centre fire. The crowd parts easily for them, everyone fully aware of the two Heda's presence. The air about them is serious and their stoic masks are set firmly on their faces.
When they get close enough to see what happened they find the woman still screaming into the silence. Clarke stiffens as she sees a body lying at the women's feet, there is a man wiggling around and clutching his throat. There is blood pooling and pouring out of his mouth onto the cobblestone beneath him. Clarke lowers herself swiftly to roll him onto his side to help clear his airway and the gurgled scream that escapes him chills her.
More shouts have erupted and there's a jostling in the crowd behind Clarke. "Let her pass," Lexa says loudly gesturing to Abby who is currently pushing her way forward.
Abby falls beside Clarke and they both begin to assess the issue. They are both pushing and prodding, moving the body to look for the source of the blood. "Clarke lay him on his back," she tells her, "hold him still!"
Clarke can barely hear Lexa barking orders and making the crowd give them space. Two warriors move to help the healers keep the man still by holding down his shoulders. Abby is looking hard in a frenzy of movements, she's moving the man's coat and clothes looking for a cause.
She gasps, "His lung is punctured." She moves the man's coat, wiping at a small trace of blood with his shirt to reveal a small, nearly invisible stab wound between two ribs.
Before anything can be done the man dies under their hands and two more screams fill the night. The crowd shifts again and more screams echo around them. Body after body falls in gurgles against blood in their throats. Five already dead, two in the process of dying.
"Assassins!"