Chapter 21

Teddy's birthday came and went. He didn't get nearly as many presents this year because of obvious reasons. There were only Uncle Harry and Uncle Neville this year, but he was surprise to find a third gift from Remus. How he found out which day was his birthday wasn't really a mystery. All he had to do was ask Harry. It wasn't anything special, just a card and a chocolate bar, but it was a card he would always keep. The fact that Remus got him anything made him feel wanted.

After his birthday, as it always did, the days quickened. They flew by and, as they did, Teddy became more and more distracted. He found himself in the Defense room as early as he could and stayed after for as long as Remus allowed. He would even go when he didn't have Defense. He basically clutched to his father, afraid to let him leave his sight, as if he irrationally feared he would die on May second. He knew his behavior worried and confused Remus, but he didn't answer any of his 'What is going on? Are you alright?' questions. He couldn't answer them.

Then May 2nd came.

It was the worst May 2nd Teddy remembered. Before, it was a day of mourning and celebration for the whole wizarding word. He wasn't forced to attend classes because classes were always cancelled for a day of remembrance. Harry would take him out of school for a few hours to be with family and take him to cemetery. He would grieve parents he never knew. Now, he had to force himself to get through his classes like a zombie. He couldn't go to the cemetery to see headstones that didn't exist yet and, the hardest of all, he saw how young and vibrant his mother was, and he now knew his father. He saw his father every day, taunting him with 'what might have been'.

Today was one of those days he didn't have Defense Against the Dark Arts, but still went to the classroom. He went as soon as he awoke, but found the room locked. Teddy knocked, but knew his father would still be in his personal quarters. He slid to the ground and waited right next to the door for Remus to go to breakfast. He didn't have to wait long.

He quickly got to his feet at the first sign of noise from inside the classroom. It wasn't long before Remus came out of his classroom. He paused when he saw Teddy standing there. "Teddy?" He slowly closed the door and relocked it. "Is there something you need?" he asked softly. His eyes had a softness about them, as if he knew Teddy was there for more than a question on an essay.

Teddy's brain went blink. He stared at him, unable to get through the block to think of a reasonable lie. He settled with shaking his head and looking down.

He heard Remus sigh. "Teddy…" The boy looked up and Remus paused. He sighed again. "Let's head to breakfast," he said, changing what he was going to say.

Remus purposely sat next to Harry at the Head Table, well aware of Teddy's eyes wondering to him every few minutes. "Harry," he said in greeting.

The dark headed teacher looked his way. "Remus," he returned the greeting.

Remus was about to mention his concerns about Teddy when he noticed dark circles under the eyes of his companion. Figuring the same thing that was on Teddy's mind was also on Harry's, he softened his eyes and spoke gently. "Loss is hard, no matter how many years goes by."

Harry narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Teddy told me about his parents," Remus answered his unspoken question.

The other man blinked in surprise. "What, exactly, did he tell you?" he asked tightly, his eyes flickering over to his godson, his body tense.

Remus kept his suspicion hidden, suddenly aware there was something more to the story of Teddy's parents then he thought. Harry had become guarded all too quickly at the mention of them. "He told me they died today, thirteen years ago." He watched Harry's body relax and his curiosity peaked, but he held it in, knowing now would not be the time to question either of them on Teddy's mysterious parents. It would be rude to question it now and it wasn't any of his business.

Harry nodded. "Yes, I know all too well of loss. You learn to tolerate it, but it will never go away. I learned things recently about Teddy's father that I never knew. It makes me wish things were different, that I had a chance to really sit down with him and talk."

"Why didn't you?"

Harry shrugged. "At first, my godfather took most of my attention." He gave a faint, wistful smile. "I loved my godfather. He was fun, but burdened from the past. I wanted to help him and I was always concerned for his safety. He could be a little…reckless." Remus noticed Harry didn't exactly tell him why he was so concern for his godfather. A godfather should worry about the godson, not the other way around.

"When he died…." He paused. "…more pressing things took my attention. I had so much on my plate. It was hard to sit down. I was grieving and I learned things I didn't like about my possible future. Teddy's father was there, in the background, and going through his own problems. He was trying to learn that it was possible for someone to truly love him and, later, he had a family of his own and I wasn't exactly…there. I was busy with other things. It just never seemed like the best time to really sit down and talk about my parents or his past. I regret it now." He glanced over at Teddy. "I can't tell Teddy a lot about his father and I'm really the one who should."

Remus glanced over at Teddy and watched the boy quietly pick at his food. Hermione Granger was next to him, talking heatedly about something to Young Harry and Ron, but she tried to pull Teddy into the conversation. However, he didn't respond to her. "It's natural for children to cling when they are traumatized or grieving," he started to say, turning back to Harry. "But, they usually cling to what's familiar, like if a child witnesses the death of one parent, he or she would cling to their other parent. They would have some unconscious fear that if they aren't there, then their other parent would die. And it would be natural for Teddy to cling to you. You are familiar to him. His godfather, a parent to him."

Harry nodded. "Yes," he said slowly in question.

"But he is not clinging to you and I am wondering why he would cling to me instead."

Harry blinked and leaned towards him. "He's clinging to you?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes. He would search me out constantly the past few days, appearing in my classroom, even when he didn't have Defense class. He would just be content to sit there and not say anything, as long as I am in sight. And, today, he was outside my office, waiting for me."

Harry sighed, but didn't look overly surprised, much to Remus' confusion and added suspicion. "I'll talk with him. I'm sorry, if he's been annoying you."

Remus shook his head. "No, he hasn't been annoying me. Just made me concerned. And he might be clinging to me because…" he paused, not sure how to mention it.

"Because of your furry little problem?" Harry asked. His eyes widened and he quick reverted his eyes away from him.

Remus snapped his head up, his eyes going wide at the familiar phrase once used by his friends. "Wh…what?" he asked in surprise. "What did you say? How did you…?"

Harry eyes remained firmly on his godson, as if afraid he would reveal something. "You know, the canine-like connection thing," he said hastily.

Remus's suspicion rose again, but he forced himself to not question him. "Yes, that," he said instead.

Still keeping his eyes away from him, Harry nodded. "I'm sure that's the reason, but I'll still talk to him." He stood up abruptly, causing some to throw curious glances at him, but they quickly lost interest. "I'll speak to him now. I've been meaning to anyways."

Mixed with suspicion and curiosity, Remus watched him approach Teddy and take the boy out of the Great Hall. Before leaving the Hall, Teddy glanced back at him, as if reassuring himself that Remus was still fine. The door closed behind them. He couldn't push away the feeling that there was a lot more to those two then what they were willing to tell.

Right after classes, Teddy quickly hid to be alone. He couldn't stand going to classes that day, being away from his father for so long. Harry told him he had to be more careful and try to stay away from Remus for the rest of the day. Teddy agreed to try, but he didn't know how hard it was going to be until now. To keep himself from heading to Remus' office, he dashed outside and found himself back in his hidden spot.

He was tired. So tired at trying to keep a somewhat happy face in front of everyone. He hadn't seen Remus since that morning. His father. How was he ever going to return to his time when his father was there?

Teddy hugged his knees to his chest and sighed forlornly. There was a whimper next to him and he didn't have to look to know it was Sirius. "Hey, boy," he said without glancing at him.

The large dog crawled closer to him, his wet, black snout touched his hand reassuringly. Teddy glanced down at the canine and smiled. He reached out and petted his head. "I'm sure you've had the type of day I am having," he whispered. Sirius stared up at him with his gray eyes, listening. Teddy's smile widened. This was what he needed, a listening ear from someone who wasn't busy. "You ever wish you can change fate?" he asked rhetorically. "May second was when my parents died, thirteen years ago. No one here knows, no one here cares."

Sirius perked his head up and tilted it in confusion. Teddy frowned and nodded. "My godfather does, yes, but…" He shook his head as Sirius crawled forward and placed his head on Teddy's lap. Teddy started petting him again. "…it's not the same. Back home, everyone knew, everyone cared. My parents were known and were missed. Here…they aren't. I always had time to myself to silently grieve parents I never knew. Now, I have to go through class as if nothing has happened. I can't do it." He glanced down at the silent dog. "Not to mention there is a teacher here that reminds me a lot of my father," he said, knowing he couldn't say his father was there. That might confused Sirius a little bit. "You mind if I stay here for a while? Time away could be just what I need."

Sirius didn't respond, just snuggled closer, as if looking for warmth or trying to give warmth to Teddy. Teddy smiled, then frowned again. "I'm sorry, Night. I didn't think to grab food for you this time. I didn't think I'll see you today and…" He gave the dog an apologetic look. "…well, I wasn't exactly thinking of it."

Sirius nudged his head against Teddy in, what he hoped was, forgiveness or understanding. "I'll bring you some food next time, okay, Night?" he asked. "I'll bring more than usual, to make up for not bringing you some now. Does that sound good, boy?" Sirius let out a bark and Teddy chuckled.

I know it's very short. But I thought I should update and let you all know I'm still here and haven't abandoned the story!