Wedding Planners From Hell!

by Ulquiorra9000

Chapter 21: A Toast to the Happy Couple! (and not much else, unfortunately...)

The very millisecond when Takeshi parked at the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites, Grimmjow sprang out of the car like a tiger and motioned with his hands. "Guys! We gotta hurry."

"We're coming, buddy." Ichigo opened his car door and climbed out, then allowed Rukia to take his hand and helped her out, too. Takeshi, meanwhile, popped the trunk and lifted the massive cake's box.

"You kids go ahead," Takeshi said. "I'll carry this."

"Thanks, dad." Ichigo, now putting his arm around Rukia's waist, escorted her through the front doors, with Grimmjow taking the lead. Keigo, meanwhile, took up the rear, rubbing his hands eagerly.

"What kinda dinner are we gonna have?" he asked.

"Uh, well..." Grimmjow winced. "It's going to be potluck, but we had some... issues... arranging everything. But I promise that the wedding tomorrow will be better."

Keigo made a sympathetic noise. "It must have been some serious hard work putting all this together."

"It was," Rukia said. "Thanks for understanding."

"I'm a proper gentleman," Keigo said, smoothing his navy blue suit. Then he caught a whiff of grilled chicken and raced ahead like Wile. E. Coyote.

"That didn't take long," Rukia joked.

The babble of conversation erupted in Grimmjopw's ears when he, Ichigo, and Rukia joined the party in the main room on the third floor. Several long tables draped in plain white cloth took up the room's center, with almost thirty fold-out chairs set up. Cheap, but effective. Not to mention the badly-arranged potluck! Some soups and sandwich stuff, but no pasta, salad, or wine. That, and some odd, random stuff Orihime and Nelliel brought, like caramel corn, Fruit Roll-Ups, and Jell-O.

"Grimmjow! There you are!" Halibel threw her arms around her fiance and hugged him tight, resting her head on his shoulder. "I got your text, but I just couldn't relax until you came here in person."

"I'm glad to see you too, babe," Grimmjow said, holding her tight. "Sorry we're so late. Is everything ready?"

"Almost," Halibel said, letting Grimmjow go. She wore a white evening gown as a placeholder for her actual wedding gown, with amethyst-stud earrings, a thin gold necklace, and white flats. "Oh, wait a minute... where's your father?"

"Hey! The cake's here!" Bambietta cried over the crowd's chatter, and everyone turned to watch Takeshi stagger into the room, carrying the large cardboard box. Candice, Orihime, and Tatsukl clapped at the sight of him and the box.

"Open it, mister Jaegerjaques!" Orihime cried happily. "Do it!"

Takeshi set the box down near the tables. "Later, miss Inoue," he said, wiping his brow. Then he cupped his hands around his mouth and raised his voice. "Your attention, please! I apologize for my lateness, but now that we are all here, I propose that we begin with toasts and the dinner, then resume our crowd mingling."

There was a general murmur of agreement, so Takeshi, Keiko, and Mr. and Mrs. Tier escorted the bride and groom to an empty part of the room to act as the altar. Everyone else, meanwhile, took their seats at the tables, with some turning their heads to look at the bride's and groom's families. Sosuke Aizen poured wine for everyone over 21, and sparkling grape juice for the rest.

Aizen took his seat and gave the two families a nod. With that, Takeshi cleared his throat.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the upcoming union of two wonderful people," Takeshi began. "My son, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, and his bride, miss Halibel Tier." He was already blinking back tears. "It's incredible. My boy is on the verge of marriage to his soul mate, and he is this close to beginning the rest of his life. I still remember so clearly the day he was born, on a warm afternoon on July 31st, 1999. It was the proudest day of my and Keiko's life, and now, we have a pretty serious contender!" He made a tear-choked chuckle, and everyone else chuckled and made "awwww" noises. In the seated crowd, Hisana and Bambietta were wiping away their happy tears with paper napkins. Oh, and Uryu, too.

"And so, on this joyous occasion, we... we..." Takeshi hastily turned away and got out a tissue. He blew into it and waved a hand to show that he was done.

Everyone clapped and went "awww" again and drank to the bride and groom as Grimmjow patted Takeshi on the back. "That was great, dad," he said warmly.

Takeshi waved a hand again.

Keiko, wearing a rather loud red gown, stook a step forward. "Marriage is a commitment, a promise," she began in a strong, clear voice. "It is not easy, nor is it simple. It is the merging of two lives, with all their happiness, their sorrows, their dreams, their challenges. But when I see my son with his beloved, I see a promise that they will find more love and joy together every day, that they will overcome anything together, and create something wonderful. What I see in them... is hope. To the bride and groom, everybody." She smiled and raised a hand, and everyone said "To the bride and groom!" and took a sip of wine/grape juice.

"That was awesome, mom," Grimmjow said in awe as Keito Tier stepped forward.

Keiko flashed him another smile.

"My daughter, my Halibel, has and always will be the pride and joy of my life," Keito began calmly. "She was a bright child, so eager to learn, and explore the world and find new mountains to climb and new oceans to sail. So to speak. And now, she has found another journey: that of love, of the heart, that trek we all make. This is not the end of her journey, marrying her beloved, but the start of something even grander. I wish her only the best in married life. To the bride and groom."

Everyone drank.

Finally, Miza Tier stepped forward. "I remember, one day when she was seven, my Halibel orchestrated a pretend wedding with her stuffed animals," she said, already blinking back tears. "She had so much fun with that. And even when she outgrew stuffed toys and became a young woman, I saw that the spark of love, of laughter, and joy in her heart still shined bright. She brings such happiness to the people in her life, and now, she and her groom will do that for each other every day that comes." She sniffed. "In fact, she... well..."

Just like Takeshi, she turned and blew her nose. Overcome by emotion, Takeshi started crying too, and both he and Miza Tier held each other while sobbing away, while their spouses watched in confusion.

Just let it out, dad, Grimmjow thought. And soon, preferably.

Everyone had a laugh and drank to the bride and groom for the fourth time.

"Oh! Oh! Me now!" Bambietta cried, bolting to her feet.

"Go ahead," Keiko said.

Bambi cleared her throat and smoothed her hair. "Grimmjow is kinda dumb, and Halibel needs to loosen up," she began, earning her all kinds of funny looks. "I mean, seriously, Grimmjow and Ichigo can speak Klingon and play with a GameCube! It's hilarious!"

Byakuya cleared his throat very loudly.

"But," Bambi added, "that's what makes them so special. I wouldn't trade the Gimmjow I know for anyone else in the world! And my life would be so cold and gray without my best friend ever, Halibel Tier. And to have them get married? I mean, whoa! It gives me the chills. I love those two with all my heart, and to have them take this huge step together takes my breath away. It gives me so much hope. And no, I'm not going to quote some poet about love. I wanna speak with my own words! So, to the bride and groom, everybody! Woo hoo!" She raised her glass.

Everyone chuckled and took a sip.

Ichigo went next. "I'll keep mine brief," she said. "Grimmjow, my best buddy... whoa. When I first met him, when he transferred to Karakura High School, I didn't take him for the marrying type. We actually didn't get along! But I remember when we competed to get onto the baseball team, and we knew right then that we respected each other, man to man. And the rest is history. And Halibel... both Grimmjow and I remember the day we first saw her, when she was on the front lawn of her new house while her family was moving in. At that very moment, Grimmjow knew that she was special. He was desperate for me to talk to her and make a good impression of him. And never once did he let go of that passion for her. I watched them become friends and fall in love, and now, to be here when they're about to join hands in marriage... it was a long and fun road. And now they're going on a new trip together. I wish them the best. To the bride and groom! Let's hear it!"

"To the bride and groom!" everyone repeated.

Uryu, Orihime, Nelliel, Candice, Keigo, and Tatsuki went next to give their toasts. Uryu's was short and polite, Orihime's included a recipe that she meant to give Halibel earlier, Nel's had expletives, Candice's... well, let's not get into that... Keigo's had no fewer than six puns, and Tatsuki's reminded everyone of the importance of fitness. Then Rukia went next, and the waterworks took over.

"... and so... and so..." Rukia was sobbing, with her glass raised, "I salute my best friends on the biggest moment of their lives, as they embark on... oh my..."

She ran over to Hisana and cried into her chest as everyone went "awww" yet again and drank. Rukia needed a few minutes to recover.

Finally, Byakuya and Ginrei gave short toasts, along with Kisuke and Isshin and Ryuken Ishida, and Sosuke Aizen played classy music on a large stereo as the dinner began.

Well, dinner with quotation marks. There were still some pretty huge gaps in the banquet, and Byakuya wrinkled his nose at his incomplete plate.

"Oh, come on, honey," Hisana told her husband, running a hand down his arm. "The kids just need one more day to get everything ready. They've worked so hard on the wedding! I'm sure the real ceremony will go just fine."

Byakuya sighed and took a bite of a deli sandwish. "I suppose so, darling. I suppose so..."

Grimmjow felt his face go warm as he ate next to Halibel, overhearing all kinds of complaints and concerned muttering. The toasts were fantastic... but damn, nothing was ready yet!

"So, the bridesmaids are Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki, Bambietta, and that Nelliel girl," Karin was saying, counting on her fingers and glancing at each girl. "Why don't their dresses match? They're all totally different!"

Yuzu made an indignant face. "Karin, they're obviously saving their best dresses for tomorrow," she said. "I mean, imagine if one of them got soup or mayo on their dress tonight!"

Karin shrugged. "That, or they didn't actually get matching dresses. All of the bridesmaids look pretty self-conscious..."

"They're just nervous," Isshin said reassuringly. "Right? I mean, such a burden! To be a bridesmaid..." He sighed wistfully and got misty-eyed.

Karin picked up her plate and relocated to the table's other end.

"I look forward to seeing this place dressed up for tomorrow, honey," Miza Tier said to her daughter. "What theme did you and the girls choose? Oh, don't tell me. I want to be surprised."

Halibel shifted in her seat. "Um... we don't really have anything yet..."

"What do you mean?" Keito asked.

"We're saving that for the last minute," Halibel said awkwardly. "B-because... we didn't want to get tired of looking at all the same decorations in the weeks leading up to the wedding."

Keito frowned but didn't say anything.

"So, I bet you lovebirds wrote some awesome vows, right?" Candice asked happily.

"Can we get a preview?" Candice's date, Shuhei, asked.

Grimmjow shared mortified looks with Halibel. "We... need to fine-tune them," he said evasively. "Reword a few passages, and stuff like that..."

"I know that look," Tatsuki said, pointing a fork at Grimmjow. "You didn't finish yours, right?"

Grimmjow hung his head. "Right..."

Halibel hung her head, too. "Me, neither."

"So, what caterer did you both decide on?" Ryuken asked. "A good one, I imagine..."

"We're, uh, still working on that," Uryu said, nervously toying with his glasses.

Ryuken gave his son a funny look. "What does that mean?"

"We can't find a caterer," Bambietta blabbed. "In fact, I don't think we can afford one anyway!" She giggled.

Byakuya, who clearly heard that, got out his checkbook. "Then I shall hire one, and cover the costs," he said politely. He also got out an expensive pen.

Hisana scowled and put her hand over the checkbook. "Honey, don't!" she hissed. "Right in front of the kids? They'd feel so insulted."

Byakuya blinked. "I'm sorry, everyone. That was tactless of me." He put his checkbook and pen away. "The wedding's catering is in their hands, of course."

Hisana smiled. "Now, that's better. I'm sure the wedding planner team will do just fine."

"Thanks, sis," Rukia said with a smile, then mouthed We're doomed! to her friends. Mercifully, none of the other Kuchikis noticed.

Nelliel stood up abruptly and clanged a fork against her wineglass. "Who's ready for dessert?" she hollored. "Dessert! Dessert! Dessert!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, my roommate," Halibel muttered.

So, Takeshi and Kisuke brought over the boxed-up cake and ripped off the tape. "Let's dig into this sugary treat of greatness," Kisuke said proudly. He lifted the lid. "We shall dine like - paper?"

Grimmjow's gut went cold. "What's wrong?" he called out.

Looking distinctly embarassed, Kisuke tilted the box so everyone could see the printer paper, pens, staplers, three-ringed binders, and computer parts stored inside. "It looks like I grabbed my office supply box by mistake," he said. "I meant to send this to that new office building down the street."

Takeshi sighed. "Does this mean that the office workers who should have gotten this shipment have received the cake?"

Kisuke placed his fold-out fan over his mouth. "It would seem so, my good sir!"

There was a collective groan of dismay. No cake! No decorations! No anything! And especially no cake!

The rehearsal dinner ended pretty soon after that.

"Well, I had a good time," Rukia said stubbornly in the car later, as Takeshi drove her, Ichigo, Keigo, and Grimmjow back home. "A lady knows how to enjoy herself with dignity."

"I know, hon," Ichigo said, kissing her cheek.

"I'm just wondering what kind of cake it was gonna be," Keigo complained. "Chocolate with strawberries? Vanilla with raspberry? Was there a cake-topper?"

Takeshi grunted. "Don't worry about it, kiddo. Okay, here's your stop..."

Everyone was relieved when Keigo got out of the car.

Back at Rukia and Ichigo's house, Takeshi looked a bit uncomfortable. "Look, if you kids need help for tomorrow's wedding, I can do something," he said, hands in his pockets. "Anything you need."

Grimmjow shared a look with Ichigo and Rukia. "As long as you're happy and proud of Halibel and me, you've given me everything I need, dad," he said. "Have a good night."

Takeshi nodded and turned to leave. "Okay. Good night, son. I love you." He shut the door behind him.

Rukia collapsed onto the couch with an arm draped over her eyes. "Dammit!" she cried. "We have a month's worth of work to do in one day!"

"Morning and afternoon," Ichigo corrected her. "The wedding starts at 7:00."

Rukia groaned. "I can't believe it..."

Grimmjow got an idea. "Hey, did we ever decide on a maid of honor?" he asked with a grin.

Ichigo looked confused. "Grimmjow -"

"Of course we did!" Rukia sprang to her feet, her face red, hands balled into fists.

"Who?" Grimmjow asked.

"Me! Duh!" Rukia jabbed a thumb at her chest. "What the hell, Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow's grin widened. "So why aren't you taking charge, dear maid of honor? I just saw a girl give up and compain on the couch."

Rukia cooled off. "Oh. Good point." She giggled nervously. "Halibel chose me for a good reason! A Kuchiki can do anything! Tomorrow, boys, we'll get that wedding ready, no matter what!"

"Yeah!" Ichigo agreed, pumping his fists. "So, what's first?"

Rukia took hold of his hand and led him to their bedroom. "What's first is we change into more comfortable clothes and go out to an ice cream parlor. I'll go nuts if I don't get some sugar."

Ichigo grinned and ran a hand down his chest. "Here it is."

Ruia giggled again and punched his shoulder. "Maybe later. Ice cream, stat!"

So the three of them went out. And the whole time, it felt like an ordinary evening, without the looming spectre of an unprepared wedding looming over them.

It was nice.