Nothing really matters to meeee ...
TO ME ...
Bohemian Rhapsody heh ? Never really liked that song , yet those words fit me so well right now ... I guess my life is just full of irony after all . The more you want the less you have , the more you have ...
The less you feel something !
I've never liked school yet here I am , in the DDLC's school , and what better classroom to be in that ...
THE LITERATURE CLUB'S CLASSROOM ?
You got it ! Hey Libitina , can you see me ? You should be laughing your ass off too if you can , that's making the two of us doing so . How pathetic I am huh ? I won , yet I lost ... I'm living yet I'm ... dead inside , once again . I always secretly wondered , how it feels to die , to be dead , what's after , but I never considered killing myself . No , that's the coward's way right ? But now , am I not a coward ? Good question to be honest , I can't tell anymore . I don't even know what or who I am anymore ...
" So that's it , that's your plan ? "
" Oh shut up , can't you see I'm sulking alone in my corner here ? Get the fuck off ! "
" That's not very nice to speak to your brother that way , gaki . "
" You ... Of course out of all of them , it had to be you ...
...Madara ! "
Madara was standing proudly , even if he had a lot of disdain on his face , and I can understand why . Under his gaze was the pathetic form of what was once a young guy who he chose to help , to share his powers with ,and said guy was now back to the place of his first battle , but looking more like a half-dead shadow of a men , mortally wounded , choosing to hide himself while dying , as animals like cats sometimes do .
I look at them , my eyes empty , and seeing him right there , in the flesh , in front of me , in this classroom ... It doesn't faze me , it doesn't impress me anymore . Long dead and gone are any kind of feelings I could've once have . Now I am empty , just like the black endless void that was my mind .
Ain't it funny how it is ? You only miss it 'til it's gone away .
I do believe those were the quote in the song Wasted Years , Iron Maiden all over again , even if I'm not so sure anymore . Still , another song reflecting myself quite well , especially that part . I miss everything I lost , yet if I could have it back , I'm not sure that I would want it . And if I gain something amazing in return , I simply don't care about it , nothing interests me anymore . What a wonderfull thing that is my " human nature " , haha !
" You can see them right through me right ? My thoughts , or rather my lack of ? If yeah , then you know why I'm doing this . I don't tell you or need you to understand , it's just there , and it won't go away ... I know it , not because I don't want it to go , but because no matter what I'll do , or how hard I'll try , it simply won't . It's all over now ... "
I slowly raise myself up , I had been lying against the teacher's desk for way too long , and not only my ass, but my back also hurts . The joints of my knees are popping , as well as my neck , and my wrists . I'm growing old .
" I may look young , but I'm growing old you know ... I always had to ... whether it was for me or someone else , having to give advices that I couldn't follow , cheering people up . But who's there for the clown when he's feeling down huh ? His ' job ' , his life is to make people being happy , laughing , but who makes him happy , laugh , enjoying life ? Who's here to cure his emptiness , his void , this hole inside him ? "
I turn my head , and I look at Madara . I'm standing , well more like lying against the open window , and I see in his eyes where I'm leading this conversation ...
" No one . I know it because I had been there too , you know it already . After my ' loss ' at the valley against Hashirama , the only thing I did was waiting , over and over again , alone , in the darkness . I died eventually , giving Obito the tools he needed to do my work , and I got back with the Edo-Tensei , and I got my body back . I then evolved into the Juubi's jinchuriki , having all the powers of a God , yet , and I hate to admit it , but once again , I was stabbed in the back by someone I trusted , someone I thought was on my side . I saw everything through her , as my body was imprisonned inside . How I got fooled , how naive I always had been , remembering how I manipulated people , the whole world , to lead it to a war , just for the sake of ending all of this concept of winning and loosing , a way less peacefull than Hashirama to reach our dream ... Yet it ended again . And here we are , the both of us, you and me , both naive mens who were fooled by the world , and their own emotions . You want me to cry , or my shoulder to cry upon ? Stop living in your dreams ! I thought once again that you would be one interesting person , so I chose to share my powers with you , to help you , because for once in all of my lives , this dream of mine , of ours , was finally be able to be reached ... and here we are , born to be kings , but far away from being princes of the universe , if my memories of those lyrics of this song are correct . How do you call it again ? "
I smile , sadly .
" Princes of the universe , moron . You just said the title , yet you ask me what it is . Come on , neither of us are that dumb . You know what I do and I know what you're doing , no sharingan needed to see that ! "
He smile back at me , and lie next to me at the edge of the window , both looking like twin brother ,narrowing our eyes slightly from the shining sun finally piercing through the clouds , sending them away .
" Heh , you see that ? "
" What ? Hm , the sun ? Hn , guess you're right , ironic isn't it ? "
" You don't say ... Kyodai ! "
" So you're really adamant on me being your brother right ? ... I hadn't had a brother , since... "
" Izuna , i know ... still a hard topic right ? I get it . I never had any siblings , but as you know, I had a lot of hard topics in my mind , so , I guess I can kind of relate to that ... "
Madara then slightly hit me with his right elbow on my left arm , and he looks down on a street .
" A black cat with golden eyes ... Guess they found out ... This is gonna be waaaaay harder to explain now . "
" Not if you have your ' Kyodai ' to help you with it . But don't take that for a habit , it's a one time thing ! "
" Tch , how generous from the almighty bad and evil Uchiha Madara ! O ye lord , I shall kiss your toes for that help in my journey thou art granting me ! "
" And you called me a moron huh ? Well look at you now ... "
" I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO HELP ME , NOT HELPING ME DIGGING MY GRAVE EVEN DEEPER YOU ASSHOLE ! "
" WHO ARE YOU CALLING ASSHOLE , YOU MORONIC CRYBABY ? "
" HUUUUUH/WHAAAAT ? "
" YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH WHAT I SAID ? " We both say , forehead against forehead , magical tick marks appearing all over our faces .
" Hey girls , here he ... ARE ? "
" SHIT ! " Both Madara and me are saying at the same time , seeing Yoruichi looking at us , while the classroom is slowly being filled with all the girls behind her , now in her human form... with clothes !
Awkward , awkward , awkward , getting nervous , do something quick ...
" Hey don't try to act like you are distracted , you perfectly know how you called me ! Dare to repeat it ? "
" I called you a MORONIC . CRYBABY ! "
" YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A ... "
BIGGEST BONK EVER , but twice !
Haruno Sakura , and Scarlet Erza ! The both of them had just managed to shut Madara and me down , closing my distraction by keeping arguing with him . Yep , I was clearly done for now .
" ARE YOU EVER GOING TO SHUT UP YOU TWO ? And Madara , what are you doing here ? I thought he said you were inside him , as some sort of soul , so how do you also have a body now ? "
Well , at least Sakura's question could give me some time to think about another distraction , delaying the inevitable as much as I can , as long as Madara keep her attention by answering her , but ...
" I don't have a clue , just like you , maybe you should just ask HIM ! "
SHIT ! YOU DAMN BASTARD ... You gonna pay for this , be sure of it !
" Don't know ... " Is all I say , obviously not satisfying Sakura or Erza enough , because while one is trying to strangle me , the other shakes me in every possible direction .
How I missed those actions who never happened before in my life ... Wait , I can really miss something I never felt ? Weird ... Huh , guess it's not the biggest of my problems right now .
" Sakura , don't strangle him , at least for now , we still need answers ! Erza , calm down and let him talk .Maybe he just don't know . Let him explain himself . "
Thank you Yoruichi , at least someone is on my side . How I lov...
" And if he don't , then I will scratch his entire face AND body with my claws ! "
NOPE ! Not even gonna finish my sentence ! Screw you , and not with my sleeping body !
Well , I guess I'll have to do things the other way . Who owns the house ? Who gives them shelter , food , clothes , and all the rest ?
I vanish out of Sakura and Erza's graps , and stand on my feet leaning against the window where I was before.
Except , my eyes were already black , showing that I wasn't pleased with how things are going . And when Serguei , Damian , Lightning , Mahk , and Alex aren't please , black eyes are what you are going to see before hearing a loud noise soon after .
Needless to say , I hadn't had a frown like that on my face since ... Well , the forest , and it clearly took everyone , even Madara , aback ! Gone was the mask of the guy who was trying to be nice , calm , patient etc.
Here was the other part of me , the part you want to let sleeping . But I was awake now , too bad ...
" You ... I am growing way too old for this kind of situation , a really annoying one ! " I said while cracking my neck , announcing that something was about to happen , not a good thing , a very BAD thing .
" I've been searching the entire day for answers, who I was , why was I slowly reverting back to the way I was in my last times in my world , why I was feeling this emptiness being back again , all those negative emotions ... But now , yeah now I do believe it makes sense , I'm slowly seeing through all of it , and I have to say , it is all the way to ... nostalgic to my tastes . " My tone is calm, yet there is clearly the sound of a threat behind it .
" You see , in my world , I always was the good one , the nice guy , the one you could rely on , or even stab in the back , you can push his buttons and he won't say anything ... It always had been like this ... And then ... " I say as I move all the way to the closet at the back of classroom , with my right index pointing at the ceiling .
" And then I'm here , after being tortured literally by some computer , knowing that I have to save four young and cute girls from atrocious events that are very likely to take place . Slowly but surely , a huge number of girls are starting to gather under my room , but I'm happy , because I always wanted to be with all of them , I like all of them , I LOVE THEM , equally ... And yet , when , with the help of Madara and my brothers we manage to get rid off the motherfucking bitch who was trying to make this whole world a new version of hell , faking my death to do so , with no other way to proceed , what is the only thing you do when I'm back ? "
I stop myself next to the closet , looking at all of them , from the corner of my eyes , and I punch the closet .
" YOU ALL LAUGH AT ME ! " I say through grinding teeth .
A quarter of the school is instantly pulverised , reduced to dust .
" You do , knowingly for the most of you what I've been through my entire past life , you know this one isn't easy either , and the only thing you can do is THE SAME DAMN THING I HAD TO DEAL ALL MY LIFE , IN MY GOD FORSAKEN MOTHER FUCKING DAMN WORLD FILLED WITH ALL THOSE SHITTY COCKSUCKING ASSHOLES WHO PRETENDED TO BE MY FRIENDS , FAMILY , AND SO ON ... "
I let my right hand hanging slowly on my side ...
" You all know how I felt about it , yet you do just the same as them , and I should , again , do nothing about it ... Hey look , it's the scapegoat , how about we try to break his tiny and already fragile mind even further ? Oh yeah , that sounds like a good idea , how about we beat him as well ? Yeah yeah , and after that , we could ask all our friends to come and join us , it will be ...
... F U N , right ? "
I stop moving , I stop speaking , no one do nothing . Times seems frozen yet I see it isn't the case .
Can you hear it ?
THE SOUND OF SILENCE