Disclaimer: I don't Own TWILIGHT…

This one has a little lemon

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Chapter 21

Recovery

I got in the jeep after strapping her in. I looked over at Jaina. She was shaking and bleeding from the wounds Jacob inflicted on her. Her arm dislocated and claw marks on her chest and shoulder. I sighed thinking it was just more scars for her to accept. She was naked, her wet hair clung to her shoulders and breasts, but blood seeped from her wounds filling the car with its potent scent. I couldn't think about that.

I felt my throat burn, in anguish. I just saved her; there was no way I would feed on her. Her teeth began to chatter, and her lips were blue. I wished I could somehow warm her, but my clothes were soaked too. Everybody's were. I turned on the heater, and drove as fast as I could home.

When we arrived, it wasn't a few seconds later, my family hit the drive way to park. I gently pulled Jaina from the seat. She winced in pain, her skin ice cold. I couldn't help but pity, this poor creature. She had been through so much.

I ran her into the house, and laid her on her bed. I half way got her dressed in her pajama bottoms, when Carlisle came in with his medical bag. I left her chest exposed for Carlisle to stitch up. She was visibly upset, shock was wearing off and she was faced with the pain of what happened. The crushing weight of Jacob, cracked some of her ribs, and me throwing her body around in the ocean, I'm sure didn't help.

"Carlisle it hurts?" she whimpered.

"I know sweetheart, but I have to this." He said showing her a compassionate smile. He straightened out the dislocated arm and snapped it back in its place. Jaina's scream echoed in the room. The pain she was enduring was taking its toll on her. I felt her fear and anguish as I tried to replace it with calm.

After a few minutes she managed to calm down again. Carlisle began to work on her again. She squeezed her eyes shut as he poured some kind of cleaning solution in her cuts, they were an inch across and about an inch deep. He punctured her with his claws not thinking she was going to survive. They were ragged looking, four on each shoulder. She turned her head to the side, and gasped as the pain flooded her.

I held her hand and she squeezed my fingers as tight as she could. I tried to push waves of relaxation into her but the pain was too much. Carlisle then began to numb the area he was going to stitch. Her head flailed back and forth as the needle pieced her soft skin. Finally she felt some relief. Carlisle worked fast closing her wounds.

When he was done, he bandaged them. He handed me a bottle of anti bionics and told me how to give then too her. I had to give her one in the morning and one at night.

He then left her in my care. I carefully pulled her up so she was sitting on the bed and I pulled her pink tank top on. She looked exhausted. Her eyes were heavy, dark circles traced under her eyes. Her pink lips were pale. Even her skin seemed paler. She looked fragile. I pulled the blankets back and laid her in bed. She drifted off immediately. I took that as an opportunity to hunt.

I hopped out her window and raced into the forest killing three coyotes I fed on them quick. I felt all that had happened to me pulse deep in my veins. I ran my hands over my face and signed deep. I was filled with relief, but I knew I had a long hard road ahead of me. I raced back to the house to find she was still asleep.

I quickly ran into my room and grabbed some clothes, and showered in her bathroom. When I was done, I lay next to her and pulled her close to me. I held her as she slept through the night and most of the day. When she woke, she sat up and pulled away from me. I felt the sadness and confusion, pillar off of her.

"Jaina darlin' talk to me." I said softly but she remained silent, she pulled the covers off of her and climbed off the bed. I watched her, feeling slightly rejected. I moved my legs off the bed and just sat there.

She ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I hopped off the bed and slowly approached the door; I put my left hand against the wood and rested my four head on the door. I was listening, but it was silent. She didn't move, I focused on her breathing.

She was inhaling deep sharp breaths. I reached down for the knob and it was unlocked. I opened the door and saw her sitting in the empty bathtub with her knees pulled to her chest. She was weeping silently. I approached her with caution. I didn't want to startle her. She didn't seem to notice I even entered the room. Her vacant eyes were wet, but staring at nothing.

"Jaina what's wrong?" I asked. I knelt down beside her, and I laid my hand on her shoulder. She didn't move. I reached slowly to her face and pulled her chin toward me so I could look at her better. She closed her eyes. Tears spilt down her cheeks as her eyelids shut.

"Please talk to me." I spoke with compassion. She responded by opening her eyes. Her lips trembled, and she reached for me, wrapping her hands around my neck. She sobbed into my shoulder.

"I killed my family, I killed my brother! He was only four! Jacob told me I was the one who killed them." She cried as her body shook. Then she pulled away from me and looked me in my eyes.

"You lied to me, you told me I didn't! I trusted you and you lied to me! She exclaimed, anger washed through her face and she was looking at me with accusing eyes. I pulled back and sat on my knees looking at her. I didn't know what to say. I shook my head back and forth and squeezed my eyes shut as she continued her verbal assault on me and herself.

"Stop it" I whispered feeling my anger build, I tried to contain it. I pushed in deep inside but it was overpowering my efforts to stay calm. I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I caused every one so much pain, you should have let me die!" she yelled. That was the one thing I didn't want to hear. I couldn't contain it. My emotions shifted from loving husband to absolute anger. I had enough. I reached into the tub pulling her out roughly and had her in a standing position in front of me, my hands gripped tight to her shoulders. She hissed in pain as I paid no attention to her hurt shoulder. She looked at me in shock and resentment. She tried to make me let her go by pulling at my arms, when she failed she pushed against my chest, to no avail.

"Get your hands off of me!" her voice was acidic as she stared at me with narrowed eyes. I scoff back at her, and smiled menacingly.

"I suggest you stop testing my tolerance Jaina. You're in no position to tell me what to do. I'm your husband and you will respect me. I have had enough of your contempt; I think I've endured enough of your accusations." I said coldly. I was clearly irritated. She was wrong.

"I don't respect you. You're nothing but a liar." She hissed. I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe she was talking to me like this. I felt my throat burn.

"I went through hell to save you. If you knew the pain I had to endure just so you could be standing here, you would think twice about what you're saying." I raged. I watched as her face went from resentment to shame. She dropped her hands that were pressed firmly against my chest. Her eyes fell as her head dropped, to look at the ground. She stood there, and I could feel the guilt and shame radiate off of her.

"I'm sorry jasper, I'm not myself. I don't deserve what you did for me. I was just hurt that you didn't tell me the truth." She whispered. I felt my anger fade. I let go of her and pulled her chin up to look at me.

"Jaina, I didn't lie to you. You have got to trust me on this. You didn't kill them, the phoenix did. You had no control of it. If it didn't chose you, your family would still be alive. You were not the catalyst, that thing was. Jaina you have got to know that." I replied. She stumbled forward into me.

I caught her in my arms and held her. I felt her sob into my chest, as I pulled her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me, and I kissed the top of her head. After a moment I felt her calm, with my help. I let her go and stepped back. She looked so sad. She looked up at me.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, I was out of line. I hope that you can still love me after all the horrible things I said to you." She murmured. I saw her bottom lip quiver. I felt a new flood of pain.

"Nothing you could ever say or do will ever make me not love you anymore. You have been through so much; a few mood swings can be expected. But Jaina darlin' promise me you will stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over." I pleaded

"Jasper, you don't understand. I feel so awful, not because there gone I feel awful because if I could change it, I wouldn't because it brought me to you. I feel like a monster for feeling like this. I feel so guilty." She said looking ashamed. I looked at her with surprise. I had no idea that was what she was feeling. It made me love her more, if that was even possible.

"Jaina, you would choose me? I can't regret that you feel that way. I know tragedy brought us together, but without you I don't know how much longer I would have lasted alone. It was killing me." I professed. She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. I knelt my head down and kissed her softly on her pale lips. She responded and kissed me back slowly at first. Eyes drifted shut as a soft moan escaped her throat.

Jaina's P.O.V.

So many things were racing through my head when I woke up. I felt like a car wreck. My body ached and my chest hurt every time I took a breath. My shoulder pounded in pain every time I moved it. I sat up from a nightmare that wasn't a dream. It was over, no more phoenix, only a vivid memory of things I didn't even conceive to be real play out before me.

Jacob's wolf form as he held me under, the water goddess, the ball of fire she pulled from my vampire husband's chest. It was like my mind was bending. Everything you were told as a child that wasn't real was. Vampires, werewolves, elemental demons looking to destroy the world were all too real. I was now nothing special, no longer did I harbor the apocalypse in my soul, and I was now stripped of it.

I was as I once was, but yet I wasn't the same. I looked the same, but what I felt was crippling. Jacobs's voice booming in my brain, telling me things I didn't want to believe. "You killed your family" I killed them. It was my fault. I had hurt so many, and yet Jasper saved me. I didn't deserve to live. I was a monster; my four year old brother would never celebrate another birthday because of me.

I know it's not the only thing bothering me; it's the fact that if I could, I wouldn't change it. I was in love. I was utterly in love with something that wasn't supposed to be real. I was now the wife of a vampire. I'm married to a man that should have been deceased years ago, yet he still lived. He was a soldier, he was an artist, and he was my, everything. He saved me, by killing me.

He held me under the salty ocean, and drowned me. I was so scared, but I was so tire of continuing. I was in a way happy that he was the one ending me. I drifted out of consciousness; I was consumed by my death. I don't even remember what happened until I was laying in Jaspers arms. He looked so beautiful; he was sobbing and smiling at the same time.

He looked so happy to see me. Then I saw that water goddess and she was the most incredible thing I had ever seen. I was captivated by her blue skin but the closer she came, I saw it wasn't skin at all but scales that covered her, they reflected aqua and sapphire. She then reached into my husband's chest and pulled out something that looked like a small sun.

He was in pain, pain because of me. I had brought nothing but pain to all of them. I was saturated by my shame. I couldn't bear for him to touch me. I couldn't bear for him to look at me. I ran to the bathroom, and hid. I opened my medicine cabinet and pulled out my bottle of Percocet. I threw two pills in the back of my throat and dry swallowed them.

I hoped they would numb the pain my body was in. I reached into my shirt and tore off the bandages and tossed them in the trash. I crawled into the tub and drowned myself in self pity. When he came in to comfort me, Jacobs's words rang again in my brain.

Jasper had lied to me. He lied. Weather it was to protect me or not, we were supposed to be honest with each other. How many other lies has he told me? I became infuriated with it all. We fought again. That seems to be the only thing we do. Fight. I told him I wish he let me die. That was the wrong thing to say. He held me in place not caring about my injuries, fortunately for me my pills kicked in numbing my physical pain. He then began telling me his truth. I wasn't the one. I didn't kill anyone.

At that moment I knew he was right. If that thing had chosen another, my brother would still be here. I never felt so ashamed of myself. I quickly apologized not expecting him to accept it. I figured he was done with me. I wasn't worth saving after all but he didn't say that. He accepted it. He took me in his arms and held me. His face was full of love and concern.

He then kissed me. I felt his cold lips and it was the only thing I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel anything besides the pain. I wanted him to take my pain away. I wanted to forget all that the things that led to this moment. I pushed my body against his; I wanted to feel him, to lose myself in him.

I felt his hands rest on the small of my back until I pushed my mouth harder against his. His hands then let me go and grabbed both sides of my face, one hand weaving through my hair and resting on the back of my head. His mouth became more aggressive and he pulled me up against him and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me out of the bathroom still kissing me, and I could feel his chest vibrate as a small growl escaped his throat.

He carried me to my bed and laid me down, falling on top of me, never breaking our kiss. I felt one of his hands move down my side, the other still firmly wrapped in my hair. He broke our kiss only to continue kissing my face, and my throat. Suddenly he was off of me, his hand resting on the bed post, his other covering his face, as he tried to regain some control. I looked into his eyes and they were black as pitch. My blood no longer masked was tormenting him.

"Are you okay?" I asked trying to hide any panic in my voice. I knew how dangerous he could be. He inhaled deep, and his eyes fell right into mine. He smiled nervously. He walked to the center of the room, and turned to face me. He must be getting a little space between us. I stood up and walked five feet in front of him.

"I don't want you to go." I whispered. I felt uneasy, about his eyes, but I needed him. I needed him to be strong enough to grant me the physical connection I so desperately long for. He squeezed his eyes shut, and shook his head slightly as if to push back the burn. He then opened them again and walked toward. My body wanted to step back, but I forced myself not to move.

I watch him as he tilted his head slightly to the left, and looked me up and down. I saw something in his eyes but I don't know what it was. He straightened his head and took a few more steps so he was right in front of me. I felt my breathing become a little more rapid than usual. I was fighting back any alarm that raced through me.

"It's okay Jaina, I won't hurt you. I just needed a minute." He said softly. I exhaled sharply as his hands gripped my shoulders gently and pulled me even closer to him. I felt his hands travel down my arms and to the hem of my tank top. I felt him gently pull it up and over my head. I stood there half naked as his eyes took in my body.

I immediately felt self conscience, my scars and the stitches that now adorn my chest, made me feel anything but beautiful. I was afraid if he got a better look at me, he would be disgusted. I knew he could feel my emotions, and as much as I tried to block him, he knew exactly what I was feeling.

"Don't feel like that, your beautiful, just focus on how I make you feel." He whispered, lust emanate from his voice. I reached my hands out and took hold the bottom of his tee shirt and he helped me pull it off of him. I focused on his chest. I saw a mixture of smooth marble skin and other spots that were covered in silver teeth shaped scars.

The sight of his naked skin sent lust flooding through me. I reached up for him wrapping my hands around his neck and I stood on my toes to kiss his throat, his collar bone, I heard his breathing hitch the second my mouth connected to his skin. He wrapped his hands in my hair as I explored his chest with my mouth. Another growl sent me flooding with lust.

He gripped my shoulders and walked me backwards till the back of my legs hit the bed. He was going to try again. His mouth found mine in a heated kiss; I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip to beg for entry. The second I responded he pushed me onto the bed, his fingers wrapped firmly around my wrists.. He released my mouth to travel back to my throat.

His mouth traveled lower to my breast, making my back arch pushing my body against his mouth. He released my wrists and grabbed hold of my sides, as he continued going lower. I couldn't contain my raged breathing, as my body begged for release. He kissed down my stomach, sending waves of lust into me. I twisted my back as his mouth caressed my side. My hands wrapped in his golden hair. I felt his hands grip my pajama bottoms and panties. My breathing hitched.

"It's okay Jaina, just relax." He said his tone heavy with lust. He pulled them off of me, as his mouth continued to explore my hips. I gasped as his tongue traced my inner thigh. He looked up at me, my eyes scared. He could feel my nervousness flood me. I sat up on my elbows looking at him. He stood up and half smiled at me.

Jasper's P.O.V.

The sight of Jaina writing on the bed was almost too much for me to bear. She was making me feel a lust I never knew was possible. I traced her body with my hands as my mouth wandered down her stomach. I watched as her skin pillared with tiny goose bumps where ever I touched her. Her heartbeat raced the lower I kissed. I pulled off the rest of her clothes, exposing every inch of her. I felt the burn but my need for her body was overpowering even my need to feed.

I gently bit her hip bones leaving my mark, but careful not to break the skin. It would match the ones I left on her throat. I then kissed and licked her inner thigh. She gasped. I looked into her scared eyes. Her emotions were of uncertainty. I knew she was far from experienced in this. She had only done this once, as I took her virginity in the forest. I could feel her insecurities.

When we were in the forest, I pushed intense lust into her, practically intoxicating her in it. She didn't have time to think about what she was doing. I almost felt guilty for it, but I couldn't regret it. This time, it was all her. I didn't manipulate her feelings for my benefit. I was letting her experience it as it should have been in the first place.

I know she felt insecure about her looks, even though I found her beyond beautiful, she still held doubts and it was causing her to be reserved. I didn't want to make her do anything she didn't want, but my lust building inside was causing my patients to waver.

"Jaina, do you want this?" I asked trying to sound compassionate. The desire for her, burning deep inside was making it hard for me to think straight, her nude body lying before me was a desire bordering addiction. I just knew I couldn't handle it well if she told me no. I didn't want to have to make her want this.

"I want this; I'm just scared I'll disappoint you. This is different from before. The first time you focused on your anger, now you're focused on my body. I'm hideous; I don't feel good enough to be with you". She confessed.

"Jaina you're my wife, if you weren't good enough for me, I would have never married you." I said coaxing her to let go of her apprehensive emotions. She looked at me sadly, I saw her eyes wet with tears. I know she was holding them back. She swallowed the lump in her throat and inhaled deeply.

"Tell me you want me Jasper." She half begged.

"I want you, more then you could ever know." I admitted. She sat up on the edge of the bed. She then reached for me, grasping my hips and pulling me to her. My breathing locked as she began to kiss my stomach, and unlatching my belt at the same time. She looked at me for approval and I nodded to her.

She unbuttoned my jeans with shaking hands and pulled my clothes down. I stepped out of the m and pushed her back on the bed. I was on the verge of desperate. I needed her body, I needed her. I loved her beyond love. I kissed her hooking my arm under one of her leg, pushing her more toward the center of the bed. She gasped as I pushed her legs further apart and rested between them. My mouth latched to her throat, gently biting it and caressing the bruises with my tongue.

She began to writhe under my touch once again. My hand wandered down and she bucked softly as I lightly caressed the heated sex between her thighs. She began to tremble, and her breathing was ragged. She then began to whimper and moan as my hand moved in circles bringing her on the edge of climax. I stopped abruptly not wanting her to fall over the edge yet. I pushed up on my arms looking down at her face. It was flush and her eyes were heavy with desire.

"Jasper please" she begged. I didn't give in to her, instead my hands moved down side, and over her stomach. Her eyes fell closed hoping I would continue my exploration of the moist space between her legs. She whined protesting my refusal to bring her release as my hand moved back up her stomach to her chest,

"You tease" she wined, frowning ever so slightly.

"Not yet baby" I whispered. She had no idea what that look was doing to me. She continued to buck her hips trying to gain more friction. I pushed her hips down and held her firmly in place with my lower body. She whimpered, desperately trying to move, but I held her still.

She never gave up; instead she tried to distract me. She pushed her upper body forward and caught my mouth with hers, kissing me as passionately as she could. She reached with one arm wrapping it around my neck, pulling me down on her. I cautiously began to grind against her; I didn't want to lose the weak control I had. I could feel her warm hands move off of my neck and slide down my chest. She struggled trying desperately to grind her body against mine, as she wrapped her arms around my back, and lightly drug her nails down my skin.

"Please Jasper I need you" she begged, and pushed up against me with everything her tiny broken body would allow. Her eyes pleaded with mine. I couldn't hold back any longer. My frustration and desire had reached its limit. I could deny her no longer.

I moved my body to align with hers. I pushed deep inside of her, and she moaned deep in her throat. I could hardly control it as she moved her body against mine, forcing me deeper. I was lost inside of her warm depths. Then she did something unexpected. She pushed her body forward locking her mouth with mine while pushing against me sideways rolling us on the bed. She was now on top of me.

She ground her body against me while I was deep inside of her, rocking her hips back and forth. I grasp her hips, my fingers digging into her soft flesh as I tried to control the rapture I was feeling. She was absolutely breathtaking as she arched her back and her hair fell over her breasts and spilled down her back.

She was lost in her desire. She flung her body forward never losing her rhythm her hair long hair falling on my chest. Her tiny hands sprawled against me to support her upper body, as she found my mouth again. I pulled myself up in a sitting position as she continued making love to me. I tried to slow her down. I pulled her into my arms making her stop.

"Did I do something wrong, oh god and am I not doing it right? She asked panic evident in her voice.

"No you're perfect, I just don't want this to end baby and if you keep moving like that, I won't be able to stop." I pleaded with her. She looked at me with heavy eyes, and began moving ever so slowly. I pulled her close and began kissing her neck, licking her throat as one of my hands wrapped in her long locks. I pulled her mouth to mine again, kissing her slowly. I was lost as she continued to softly grind tilting her hips back and forth in a painfully slow manner.

My lust driven to a new level altogether caused my already acute scenes to heighten. I could hear her heart beat out of control, and I began to focus on a darker desire. I listened closer and my throat began to burn uncontrollably as I tuned into the blood rushing in her veins. It made a sloshing sound that caused my mouth to seep venom.

I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed her hips raising her up and down faster and harder, when I couldn't handle the tension any longer. I grabbed hold of her and rolled her on her back, I pushed as deep inside of her as I could, my movements close to violent.

I could feel frenzy build, and I couldn't stop. I could feel her body tense, I didn't know if it was pleasure or fear so I pushed desire into her, it wasn't a subtle wave of tension but undiluted lust. I began to lose control, as I pressed my lips to her throat, the pulse in her veins begging me to tear them. My hands roughly racked her chest as I continued driving into her; I felt her passion 10 fold as I manipulated her yet again. She turned her head to the side releasing a loud throaty moan; I could feel unadulterated pleasure seep out of her in crashing waves. I couldn't stop it, I too fell into ecstasy. My pleasure short lived as I felt her panic.

"Oh god jasper, you got to get away from me." She pleaded. I looked down at her as I pushed to sit on my knee, still planted between her legs; and I witnessed what she was frantic about. I had torn out her stitches, and her wounds lay bleeding. Crimson covered her chest, and I realized I had only moments to pull myself together before I turned on her.

I couldn't stop the burn, it was agonizing. She had no idea that the entire time I was with her I longed for her blood, and now it was seeping out sweetly in rivets out of her wounds. I felt my world shift. I could feel the beat of her heart like the bass from a loud stereo. It thumped loud and sweet, beckoning me, calling me like a ship to a harbor. It was my nature. She was my prey.

I screamed inside for her to run. But my voice was silent. Instead my eyes opened to focus on my victim, my control now gone. I watched her crawl cautiously out of her bed and stand to her feet. She looked me in my eyes searching for something that didn't exist anymore. I was no longer her loving protective husband. I was her enemy. I was her four horsemen ready to deliver the apocalypse on her life. My burning thirst was hell. I stepped toward her, and stopped.

Flashes of the night before screamed out its vivid pictures in my brain; her drowning, her bleeding, her dying. I fell to my knees, my body falling forward. I buried my face in my knees and pulled at my hairs squeezing my eyes shut tight trying to regain the lost control. I couldn't do this alone. I sat up straight as screamed for the only one who could save me from committing an act I could never forgive myself for.

"EMMETT!" I screamed sobbing. It wasn't three seconds later that the door splinted and flew into the room. Not as second to soon as I lost my control and I lunged for Jaina. Emmett caught me in his large arms and pulled me out of her room. I was rabid.

"I got you Jazzy" he said trying desperately to hold me back. He pulled me into the hall and slammed me into the wall. The wood cracked at the contact.

"Get a hold of yourself. You know you can. Control it, you have got to fight harder then you have ever fought before. You have to get control! For Jaina! For yourself! If you kill her you will never forgive yourself!" He shouted. His words began to form meaning. I felt myself relax. My rabid breathing began to calm. I pulled back the monster inside. He was right. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and pushed back the burn. It felt futile, I felt like it would never subside, but the more I tried the more it went away. I opened my eyes and looked my brother in the face.

"I got it." I said

"You sure?" he asked his voice stern.

"I GOT IT!" I shouted. He cautiously let me go. Emmett looked at Jaina in the room through the broken door.

"Get dressed sweetheart, and get your ass downstairs." He said as compassionately as he could. I could see her scramble for her clothes and she pulled them on as fast as she could. I closed my eyes as I saw blood saturate through the pink fabric. She ran out of the room as Emmett put his large hand on the center of my chest to keep me from attacking again.

"I feel bad for that girl Jazz, in 24 hours she's been crushed, drowned, thrown, clawed and now you fucked her! Hasn't that poor girl been through enough?" he said in a humorous tone. I knew Emmett's sense of humor was never appropriate but he was trying to keep my mind off the blood scent that was saturating the hall.

"Shut up Emmett. Let me go. I gonna get dressed so I can hunt." I demanded. He laughed at me.

"Please do, I wasn't enjoying the view." He bellowed sarcastically. I was grateful that he was there to stop me but he was now annoying me, I wanted to drown in self pity at my lack of control but I knew he wasn't about to let me hunt alone. I walked into Jaina's room and grabbed my jeans and t-shirt. I threw them on fast and ran the down the stairs and out the door. I tried to lose Emmett in the forest but he was only feet behind me.

Jania's P.O.V.

I ran down the stairs and straight into Carlisle's office. He was gone. Everyone was gone. I assumed they were hunting. I wandered into the downstairs bathroom when I heard the front door slam shut. I ran to the window to see Emmett and Jasper running into the forest. I ran upstairs and into my room. I opened my drawers and pulled out some new clothes, dark jeans and a black shirt. I went into the bathroom to inspect the damage done.

I stood in the mirror as I pulled off my ruined tank top. It was awful. My throat bruised from Jasper, along with my ribs from yesterdays fight. The stitches were a mess all torn and frayed. I pulled out a scissor and tweezers and clipped and pulled the string out. The wounds lay bleeding. I pressed a cold washcloth against them till the bleeding stopped. I then covered them with a bandage. I threw on my clothes feeling even more disgusted with myself.

I knew if I didn't tell Carlisle about this I the scars would be appalling but it didn't matter to me. I knew jasper would never attempt to be intimate with me again. It was hard for me to constantly battle my husband. Our whole relationship was built on controversy. I had accepted what he was, but I don't think he ever accepted what I was, a simple human with mass limitations.

I wondered then if he would ever have the strength to turn me. He said forever when he put on my ring. He said he would turn me but only because of the elemental danger I was becoming. Now that I wasn't a threat I wondered if he was going to follow through on turning me. I know it wasn't even an option when we made love the first time. He was so set that love doesn't last forever.

I wonder now if he changed his mind. I waited in my room for hours. I wanted to sleep to pass the time but failed at falling asleep. I went to the cabinet and took two more Percocet hoping they would help me sleep not to mention maybe numb the pain again. My shoulder was throbbing in agony. Still after another hour nothing, I couldn't sleep.

I decided maybe I was hungry but everything looked unappetizing. I decided to wait in the front room; I waited for a couple hours more with no one coming home. 'Where is everyone?' I thought. I walked into the garden and I watched the sun set.