Housekeeping

Okay I'm taking liberties with scarecrow...just sit back and enjoy the new and improved P.O.V cams! And for those asking I did not abduct M. Night Shyamalan. I own nothing but my own mind and V. Enjoy.

Thinking

Sexy Scarecrow Voice

Speaking

Chapter 21: This can't be legal

I managed to pry myself off of Edwards lap and sat in the corner of the limo with my head in my hands. This couldn't be true could it? Married to all three rogues? How could all three certificates be validated?

"I think we broke Mrs. J again." Joker chuckled and sipped more champagne. He pulled a pocket watch from the depths of his coat and clicked it open. "We're running late. Now what in the world could have made you two run behind for so long now?" He glared at Edward who just slipped a giant smile on his face.

"Oh we just took the time to consummate our marriage in a very interesting way." Edward pulled another bottle of champagne from the mini fridge and popped it open. I watched him take a swig and recline in his chair as if this was a normal day for him.

"She was our first." Crane took a big chug of his bottle before inspecting the wound in his shoulder. "Didn't have to shoot me though, V's going to ruin her dress when I steal her away later."

"How the hell did all three of you get legal marriage certificates? Seriously!" I snapped my head up and glared at all three of them. "How can I be married to three men at once?"

"Relax Mrs. J. Honestly does it matter that you've got all three of us after you?" Joker leaned forward and grabbed me, dragging me onto his lap and holding me down.

"Let me go Joker." I tried to pry his hand off me but he just laughed and forced some of his drink down my throat. I choked on the bubbly liquid and wanted to smash his face with the glass. I was quickly developing quite the anger issues. Why didn't I just take the job cleaning hotels and buy a cat? Cat's don't do dastardly things like this.

"Stop fighting it. True I'm not a big fan of sharing but I'd like to say that I've invested in my stock wisely." His hand cupped me through my dress making the other two men growl at him.

"Hands off clown!" Edward tried to pull me off Joker's lap and I was in yet another tug of war match. "V is my wife. Stop putting your grubby paws all over her!"

"Guys stop it you're hurting me!" My arms felt like they were being ripped from their sockets. I could feel myself bruising from the force of their fingers digging into my flesh. The tug of war match stopped when a bottle crashed over Joker's head and I was pulled into the lap of a pissed off Scarecrow who cradled my face against his chest.

"That's it; I'm going to kill you two now. Screw the agreement you hurt our V and all bet's are off." He was slurring his words a bit and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"What agreement?" I pulled myself from his chest and looked up at his face. "Jonathan tell me what the hell is going on or I swear I will throw myself from this moving limo right now."

"V calm down." He fisted his fingers into my hair and pulled my face to his. His lips inches from mine. It looked like he was about to speak but Edward beat him to it.

"It started out as a plan to save you but then we all couldn't decide who should keep you. We all love you and decided to try and share for once." He sat glumly in his chair and played with his hat which was now hanging between his hands. "I wanted you to myself V. I want a house full of little riddle babies running around with my hair and your eyes."

"She'll be having little scarecrow babies with her hair and my eyes." Jonathan was glaring at Edward. He tucked my head under his chin and started rubbing my back softly. I felt betrayed; they plotted this whole thing up without thinking about me at all. This was the most selfish things I'd ever had anyone do to me. Next thing they'd be telling me that I was carrying all of their children and this was a plot to create an army of little rogues.

"Oh shut up both of you. I don't care what our kids look like but I know she's going to have at least eight of mine." Joker was pressing his hand against his bleeding head and looking almost dejected.

"And when did this agreement take place? Before or after you all took liberties with my name and marriage." I was stuck between seething and crying. I wanted to run away and hide where no one could find me.

"It's not like that V. We all agreed to marry you because we need you. You complete us." Edward looked up at me and set his hat back atop his head. "You keep Joker from being too violent, you keep me from losing my mind trying to destroy the batman and you keep Cranes libido in check. That and the whole destroying the world with his fear toxin plot getting put on hold."

"Hey I'm still violent, you saw what I did to Dent and that little fling of his didn't you?" Joker scowled and kicked at Edward. "I'm still the same guy as ever, no woman's going to change that."

"Everyone shut up, you're making her cry." Jonathan's voice was soft and I stared off into nothing, not wanting to face anyone. The ride was silent until the limo stopped and we all slipped out into the darkened world. Joker pulled me away from the others and carried me over the threshold of yet another warehouse apartment. I didn't take the time to look around at anything. I really wanted to be alone for awhile. I hung limply in his grasp, not feeling entirely myself.

"Now here's our room Mrs. J." Joker set me down on the bed and I stared at the floor. "I'm gonna go make sure we're all stocked up so just play nice." He tried to stroke my cheek but I pulled away and he recoiled as if I'd hit him. I heard him stomp out of the room and slam the door. I stood up and locked it behind him and slid the heaviest dresser I could against the door so no one could get back in. The room was windowless so I couldn't escape either. I curled up on the bed and tried not to lose myself as I felt torn apart from the inside. Even though the world was spinning around me I could almost feel something wrap around my body and hold me close. I felt safer and just let the tears flow.

Joker Vision

This just wouldn't do. V was mine and I planned on proving my point as soon as the two little pansy boys were out of the picture. She wouldn't even let me touch her after the little heart to heart in the limo.

"Joker where did you put my wife?" Edward rushed over and pointed his cane at me. As if that little stick could do anything to me.

"My woman riddles. Go fuck that cane and leave me alone." I wanted to blow something up. Maybe some fireworks could brighten her day. Edward tried to smack me with his stick so I grabbed it and smashed him over the head with it. He crumpled to the ground in a heap and I just stepped over him. Crane was smart enough to keep his distance as I pulled a knife from my pocket and fingered the blade. I needed to go release some tension, seeing V cry made me feel all weird and squishy inside. "I'll be back later, no one touches my woman."

Nigma Vision

I was seething. That pig of a clown took my woman from me, MINE! I had a whole evening planned to woo her into my bed again. Dinner, movies, glowing trophies just for her. I pulled my cane from its compartment in the limo before following everyone inside. It hurt seeing V cry, every time. True maybe I should have woken her up at the beginning of the ceremony but I couldn't risk her leaving me. Something about that woman made me feel alive. Before long he'd have her prancing around in face paint and horrible clothing choices. I saw him leave his room and heard the click of a lock and the dragging of furniture.

"Joker where did you put my wife?" I wanted V in my arms as I stroked her hair and made her feel safe again. I pointed my cane at the clown and prepared to shoot some sleeping gas at him.

"My woman riddles. Go fuck that cane and leave me alone." He had the nerve to growl at me. ME! If it weren't for my ingenious planning V could be dead or in the arms of the Batman. I saved her; I broke out of Arkham for her. I told Joker which generators to switch off to free us. He deserves to hurt the way I hurt watching V fall apart. I tried to smack him with my cane but the bastard wrenched it from my grip with his Neanderthal grip and I was soon falling into darkness.

Jonathan vision

"I'll be back later, no one touches my woman." Joker had the nerve to toss my V into his room. At least she was smart enough to barricade herself inside. I could feel Scarecrow breathing down my neck; he's been up in arms since V disappeared. And to top it all off Edward had the nerve to force her into a ceremony. We had all agreed that we'd keep this to ourselves, nothing to push her over the edge.

"I'm gonna go check up on our woman Johnnie boy. Get yourself patched up. You're bleeding all over and I can't save V if you die." I saw his dark form drift off towards the door as I inspected my shoulder. Joker's bullet went straight though so I should heal properly. Just need to stop the bleeding. I walked past Edward's prone form and into my little study, shutting the door behind me. This coat was ruined anyways. I stripped the coat and shirt off before inspecting the damage again in the light. No stitches needed thankfully.

"Now where did I leave those bandages?" I adjusted my broken glasses as I pulled a box of first aid supplies from one of the drawers of my desk. I was use to bandaging myself up so it didn't take that long at all. Moving my arm a bit I relaxed knowing that I still had enough mobility to fight my way out of a corner if needed. I had a few stashes of fear toxin lying around that I could use. Now I just needed V to stay calm and I'd get her away from all this madness. Maybe I'd get a teaching job somewhere far away from the Batman and…who am I kidding. I needed to hear the screams, needed the fear. I'll keep V out of my work life and make sure she's safe. But then again maybe she'd like to stay at my side, wear my colors. I could just imagine her wearing nothing but my burlap mask, crawling over the bed towards me. I stopped and rubbed my eyes, I needed to focus.

Scarecrow vision

I didn't like how things were turning out. After spending all that time following her around the asylum then watching her sleep, I wanted her all to myself. I wanted to lock her away where only I could touch her, but the way she felt under Jonathan's body was too good to ignore. I would share her for now. I'd longed to hear her scream but when she did the sound felt flat in my ears. I didn't want her to scream in fear, this wasn't like me. I spent day after day following her around, the asylum, her home, that supermarket she walks aimlessly around. This woman was mine and I wasn't going to let anyone, let alone two costumed freaks, take her away from me…us.

After exiting that horrible lime limo I watched as the clown grabbed and carried her off like some beast with its kill. My time would come and when it did I would touch her with my own hands, make her scream my name with my own body. It will be glorious.

"I'll be back later, no one touches my woman." The clown was leaving, finally. He would be a tough one to dispose of; Jonathan's fear gas didn't affect him like the others. I could feel the gears in my straw mind clanking together trying to formulate a way to end him. I needed to be close to her, to touch her. My mind was made up, leaning against Jonathan I got his attention.

"I'm gonna go check up on our woman Johnnie boy. Get yourself patched up. You're bleeding all over and I can't save V if you die." I could feel the chills running up his spine at my voice,I loved it. Even though I was tied to him I could still own him if I wanted. Now all I wanted was the red head in the other room. Priorities shift, plans change but a woman screaming and writhing under you lasts forever. I drifted over to the door and slipped into the room. Having no body tended to have its advantages. She was curled up on the bed and I could feel the pain radiating off her body. I didn't like it. I wanted her by my side as the world burned and screamed at the power of its own fear. I wanted a true form but I would wait. I curled my cold body around her own almost wishing she could feel me. I always had power over Jonathan but now he had something to hold over my head, and she tasted amazing.