Note: Thanks once again to my wonderful reviewers! Exam season is almost over, so updates SHOULD be back to normal! Thank you for your patience.
I hope I've got the timeline right again, I admit I've not read the books in a little while and have a rubbish memory!
I would love reviews for this chapter as I am not quite sure about it, thanks in advance!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J K Rowling owns it all.
21: Tonks' Lullaby
And so it was that Teddy Lupin watched his father's younger self stood outside the door of a modest looking flat, apparently some hours later, wearing a freshly pressed set of robes, hair having been assaulted with a comb until it consented to looking slightly less chaotic, face still unshaven yet perfectly clean. The werewolf stood staring at the door before him for a long few moments, rocking back and forth on his heels apprehensively before raising a fist, drawing in a deep breath, and knocking.
There was no reply.
Younger Remus knocked again, louder.
"Tonks?" he called, leaning to press his ear to the door, listening for signs of movement from inside.
Again there was no reply.
"Tonks?!" he tried once again, before, rather reluctantly, trying: "…Dora?!"
When there was still no reply from inside the flat Teddy watched the bemusement on Younger Remus' face shift to worry. "Where are you?" he mumbled, turning away from the door and beginning to pace. "Molly said you'd be home, so where are you?" he reached into his pocket and drew out his wand, glancing up and down the corridor to ensure he was alone as he assured himself: "You're probably still out patrolling. That'll be it. Kingsley will know…expecto patronum!"
A bright silvery figure erupted from the end of his wand and streaked off down the corridor, disappearing through a wall. Younger Remus continued to pace up and down, mumbling reassuringly to himself.
Not soon after a glint of silver appeared at the end of the corridor and a shimmering lynx came swooping down the corridor, causing Younger Remus to halt his pacing abruptly.
"No need for hysteria, Remus my friend," came the deep voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt, sounding close to amused. "Tonks just stopped by the Ministry on her way home to pick up and thing or two. She says she should be home any moment now."
Younger Remus let out an audible sigh of relief, only for it to turn into a gasp of surprise as a quiet voice behind him said:
"You really did sound hysterical, you know."
He spun around to find Younger Tonks stood not far behind him, shoulders hunched, arms folded defensively across her chest as she stared at him in surprise.
Younger Remus looked abashed for a brief moment and Teddy watched his eyes slowly sweep over her, taking in her appearance.
Her hair was a dull, mousy brown that hung limply on her shoulders, her face pale, sickly, thinner than Teddy had ever seen it. She was terribly thin in general, actually, the boy noticed, feeling his stomach twist into knots. Having too noted these things, Younger Remus seemed to forget to feel embarrassed, instead he looked deeply dismayed. He was seen to swallow, composing himself ever so slightly.
"Hello..." he greeted quietly, as if he was suddenly unsure of why he was there at all.
"Hi." Tonks' greeting was equally feeble and she stood frozen to the spot for a long moment before shuffling forward forward, eyes downcast as if it were difficult to look at him. She drew her wand out from a deep pocket of her scarlet Auror robes and reached unsteadily to point it at the door. After mumbling a long cast of incantations and hearing a series of locks click, she reached to push the door open and step inside.
Younger Remus stood watching her, hands shoved in his pockets.
"Can...can I...?"
In reply she held the door open for him and as he stepped into the flat, Teddy and his parents hurried to follow.
They stepped directly into a small living room, squashy sofa before an empty fireplace, bookcase in a corner and a thick, bright, multicoloured rug which matched the curtains. Teddy was surprised as he gazed around his surroundings. He had imagined his mother's flat to be more cluttered, messy, but it was surprisingly sparse, save for a number of objects that had been discarded upon the sofa.
"I wish you were always this tidy." Older Remus whispered to his wife teasingly. She elbowed him gently in the ribs.
"It's only tidy because I was hardly ever at home! Besides, the kitchen..." she nodded towards the door that her younger self was heading towards, pulling off her robes and dumping them over the back of the sofa.
"Tea?" Younger Tonks offered, voice still quiet as Younger Remus stood just inside the door watching her.
Teddy had a strange urge to rolls his eyes. People always did that, he realised as Younger Remus murmured consent. Whenever things seemed bad they'd rush off to put the kettle on. As if it would solve anything.
Younger Tonks disappeared into the kitchen which, Teddy noted from his glimpse through the doorway, was stacked high with discarded plates and food packaging, much more the sort of thing he had expected. Alone in the living room, Younger Remus let out a sigh, clearly feeling at least a little relieved. He wandered over and picked up the discarded robes, about to turn back and hang them up on a hook by the door. But he paused where he stood, raised the scarlet material up and buried his face in it, breathing in deeply. Hands clutching the material as if afraid to let it go, he glanced over at the open kitchen door to see Younger Tonks had her back to him, searching for clean cups. He turned his attention back to the living room, eyes coming to rest on the objects that had been left on the sofa. His expression was more despairing than ever as he took them in.
A box of tissues, close to empty, used tissues scattered all over, and a small leather bound photo album from whose open pages his own face smiled up at him along with that of Sirius and Tonks, a snapshot in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Besides the album was a small battered cardboard box full of pages of parchment. Glancing to see Tonks still engaged in making the tea, he reached to pick up a handful of papers, looking down at them and finding them to be letters.
Teddy peered at the letters as Younger Remus glanced at each in turn, his expression becoming more and more grim at each he set eyes upon.
Dear Nymphadora, I can assure you that Remus is in good health, I heard from him just this morning...
Dearest Tonks, Arthur tells me that Remus is perfectly fine....
..you really must come to dinner this Wednesday, Remus promised he would pop in and visit. I'm sure he would be glad to see you, after you were working late the last time...
...you don't even need to heat it up, so there is no excuse not to eat it. I'm afraid we have not heard from Remus just yet. But keep your spirits up, dear, I'm sure he is perfectly safe...
Dear Tonks, No, we have not heard from Remus this week...
...just a scratch or two, nothing to worry about at all, I promise you, don't worry about him...
...there was a death, but Dumbledore assures me that he has heard from Remus since, he says he was not even close by when it happened...
...we'd be so glad to have you. I know you say you have been busy, but really dear, Kingsley says you've skipped lunch every day for the past week and I insist upon a decent meal....
At the sound of footsteps, Younger Remus let the papers fall back into the box and turned to see Younger Tonks making her way back into the room, two mugs of steaming tea in her hands.
Abandoning the robes, he accepted a mug from her with a mumbled thanks. They stood, her eyes fixed on her tea as he stared at her for a long moment, before he finally spoke.
"Was I really hysterical?" he asked quietly. Teddy supposed he could not quite decide on something more useful to say.
"Pretty much." Younger Tonks replied, peering up at him at last. "You were babbling so much we only caught half of it. You said you were seriously concerned..." despite herself she sounded on the verge of sniggering at his bout of melodrama.
"Oh..."
Teddy half expected to see a sheepish grin spread across the werewolf's face, but Younger Remus instead pursed his lips together thoughtfully, still staring at the woman stood opposite him. There was a long silence.
"You're looking...well." Younger Tonks managed, not looking at him. She was saying it just for the sake of saying something, Teddy noted. It was obvious that she was lying, nobody could honestly say that Younger Remus looked well just then, and it was clear that he was aware of this. He overlooked this, though, as he took a deep breath and said:
"You're not."
She immediately turned her back on him to hide her face, shoulders hunched once again. Guilt erupted in his eyes and he hurriedly moved to set his mug down on a little table beside the sofa before coming to stand just behind her. Her hands were trembling, she was close to slopping tea down her front.
"Should I take that for you?" he asked, reaching around her to pluck the mug from her hands. "That way you'll have both hands free to hit me or curse me into oblivion for being the world's biggest git." He turned and moved to set the mug down next to his own, finding that she had turned around to face him again, tears silently trickling down her pale face.
"I...I don't want to...to curse you or...or...I just..." her eyes widened in frustration as the sentence became more and more muddled. She halted abruptly and drew in a huge breath. "Thank Merlin!" She cried at last through her tears. "You're alright!" And with that she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his robes.
He appeared momentarily stunned, unable to quite comprehend her lack of fury, but finally let out a huge sigh and put his arms tightly around her, forehead coming to rest on the top of her head.
"Look at you!" he complained, hold on her tightening. "Oh Merlin, just look at you, Dora, Molly's right, you're a bloody mess!"
This seemed to make her cry harder still, Teddy noted, having just got over the fact that his father had sworn. But Younger Remus seemed oblivious to the effect of his words, for his hands slowly moved down her body, testing, taking in the feel of ribs with a miserable frown.
"This is all my fault." he observed woefully, wrapping both arms around her, unable to bear the feeling any longer.
"It doesn't matter," she told him, voice muffled by his robes. "You're here. You're here, I'm here, it's all fine now..."
"I'm sorry, Dora, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
"Shut up, Remus!" Younger Tonks demanded through her tears, drawing back from him so that she could look at his face. They were silent as she stared at him, suddenly looking worried. "Are we...do you want...I mean..." a touch of colour rose in her cheeks and she dropped her gaze to the floor. "Are we...us...again?" she asked at last, biting her lip, clearly unsure, desperate, Teddy thought.
Younger Remus sucked in a slow, calculating breath.
"Is that what you want?" he asked her, letting his arms drop to his sides.
She gave the smallest of nods, staring at him intently.
He looked positively relieved at his and at last he smiled at her, causing her to smile back.
"Well then, I think we better sit down." he told her, turning and taking up the mugs, offering hers back. She took it, looking surprised by this reaction. She watched a little numbly as he cleared the clutter from the sofa with a flourish of his wand and they sat down, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. Aiming his wand at the fireplace, he muttered one last spell causing flames to leap into life, before putting the wand back in his pocket. She watched him reach into another pocket deep inside his robes and pull out something round, wrapped in golden foil.
"James used to tell me that the best way to say sorry to girls was to buy them flowers, but Sirius said you should go for chocolate every time." with that he offered her the object on the palm of his hand, and she took it, amused.
Teddy watched her unwrap the foil to reveal a hollow chocolate egg that she examined happily as Younger Remus leant back and put an arm around her.
"There's something inside!" Younger Tonks observed as she gave the egg a small shake, causing it to rattle.
"Well I wasn't completely convinced by either argument. Flowers make me sneeze and chocolate alone wouldn't have been terribly original now, would it?"
Younger Tonks positively beamed at this, shifting closer to him as she continued to stare at the egg. "The surprise isn't that it's poisonous." he assured her, and with a slightly chuckle she raised it to her lips and took a bite. With an mmm of approval she peered to see what was hiding inside, and promptly gasped.
A soft, tinkling melody sounded from inside the egg and Teddy recognised it immediately as the tune he frequently heard his mother humming and his father whistling, the lullaby they had hummed to him as a little boy. He watched Younger Tonks upturn the egg and a delicate chain slid out into her palm, a small round pendent attached to it.
"It winds up," Younger Remus explained, reaching and winding the two halves of the pendant round and round, causing the music to start up anew. "Molly says you look like you've hardly slept at all. So...here's your lullaby from me to help you sleep."
Younger Tonks appeared to be speechless. She stared in wonder at the pendant, as Younger Remus' pulled her back further against him, humming along to the tune. They stayed there like this for many long minutes, her eyes drifting shut as he continued to hum long after the music had ended. Within another few minutes she had fallen asleep in his arms.