Chapter 20

Angel POV

I stood outside the Staples Center, in tears. I had lost control in there. I let everything spill out. I tried to think of the closest apartment here, Gomez; I knew Justin would think I'd be there. I decided to go to Morris. It wasn't the nicest apartment there was, but who cared, as long as I was alone and able cry. I had no money; I didn't want to go to the bank again. I knew it was far, but I sighed and walked. I kept my head down, hoping no one would recognize me. I really wasn't in the mood for anyone. My phone rang, it was Justin. I answered it.

"Hello?" my voice was weak.

"Angel, listen I'm really sorry. We really need to talk."

"If you don't remember we did just talk. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to walk home."

"What? Why are you walking home? Where are you? I'll drive you."

"Goodbye Justin, I just wish you'd think about what I said."

I hung up on him and deleted his number. I knew his number by heart, but it just felt good to do it. I felt a sense of accomplishment. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked. I had some time to think about what was happening, about what I just said.

I knew I had broken up with Justin, but I had no idea why. I was probably caught up in the moment. I knew he was right, he hadn't changed, but I didn't really fully believe him. Those were his thoughts a while back. He said he stopped thinking about me that way when we kissed. I never thought a single kiss could change things. I knew he'd liked me for a while, but nothing could change that quickly. I was an angel back then, angels are supposed to influence good thoughts. Now that I wasn't angel, was Justin still attracted to me? Was he thinking about Selena?

I looked up from my thoughts as my shoulder hit somebody's arm. "Sorry." I muttered. They just kept walking. I sighed and looked up at the Gomez building. I felt tired; I didn't want to walk anymore. I sighed again and ran up the steps into the air conditioned lobby. "Welcome, do you live here?" I smiled and nodded. "Well I've never seen you before." I pressed the elevator button. "It isn't my main home." I mutter back and stepped into the elevator. "Have a nice day." I pressed the button with a thick '7' on it. I waited patiently for the door to open.

When it did I stomped out of the elevator and to the room. I pulled my keys from my pocket. I shoved the key into the lock. I open the door and ran inside. I slammed the door closed and fell to the floor. My face fell into my hand and into my knees. I sobbed quietly. I pushed myself up and tried to make my way to the couch. I clapped the lights on. I stood on my tired feet and grabbed a towel from a closet. I dried my eyes, "At least it wasn't raining."

I threw the towel into a dirty laundry bin and made my way back into the living room. Hopefully Justin wouldn't come looking for me, if he didn't this would be my temporary home. I kinda wanted him to though; I wanted him to fight for me. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and slipped into some shorts and tank top stored here. I looked in the freezer for some food; there was some vanilla ice cream. I scooped some out and put it in a bowl. I poured some syrup all over it and then ate it on the couch. My phone buzzed on the table, Pattie was calling.

"Hello, are you alright?"

"Yea, I'm just fine."

"Oh, Justin said you two fought and then you just left. He said you were going to walk home. Where are you?"

"I would like my location to be unknown. I don't want your son to magically appear, trying to make things better." My tone was bitter.

"What happened?"

"We broke up."

"What! You two were so in love when you left. How did this happen?"

"I really don't know. One moment we were all lovey-dovey and the next thing I knew we were broken up."

"Well Justin is really upset. Will you come home?"

"Sorry Pattie, I told Justin I'd make arrangements to stay somewhere else until he pulls his act together. He really hurt me."

"Did he say something?"

"No, not exactly, he did write something though."

"You mean in that silly journal under his bed?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I found it when I was in there one day. I read some entries. I read what he said about you. Sweetie you have to understand that was a while ago. Sure, I was jealous many times in my life. I got over it. Now sweetie, please come back."

"Pattie, please understand what I'm feeling and let me stay where I am until I run out of tears. Justin hurt me a lot. It was just that it was over a period of time."

"Okay, goodbye."

"Bye Pattie, hopefully I'll see you soon."

I ended the call and threw my phone at the wall. I watched as it shattered all over the floor. I started to cry again. "WHY WAS I EVER IN LOVE WITH YOU?" I cried out. "You were in love with me for many reasons, I am you almost brother, I saved you from an alley, I am always there for you, I'm your best friend." I turned around and stared Justin dead in the eyes. They were red, just like mine, he'd been crying.

"Justin…leave!"

"Why, I want to make things right."

"You can't! I'm not in love with you anymore!"

"What?" His voice sounded heartbroken. His expression was sad and meaningless.

"I don't think I could ever love you again. I'm not an Angel anymore. I don't have that attractive quality. Taking that bullet for you changed me. I never knew things could change that quickly, but I did after you kissed me. My whole world changed after you kissed me. In an instant, everything was perfect. Now I realize that things could change for the worse as well. A simple feeling could make a whole argument. A few words can make a big secret flow from your lips. A heart can break so quickly. All my feeling pour out when I don't want them too."

"Angel…I really need to tell you the truth. I can never really say what's true when I'm angry."

"Fine, what?"

"That journal, I haven't felt those feelings in forever. I regret what I did. I never knew you were so insecure. There is no need to be, you're beautiful. Well, you're an angel. Those thoughts were old, I feel so different now. I regret things I said earlier. I can get very jealous. I am a jerk. I'm just here…I'm asking for a second chance." He was closer to me know.

"Prove to me that you're still in love with this ex-angel."

I felt Justin wrap his arms around my waist and lean in. I was tempted, but I couldn't I pushed him away. "What?" I rubbed my arm. "I can't kiss you." He stepped closer. "Well why not." I bit my lip. "I don't think I'm in love with you anymore." Justin stepped closer. "Let me change those feelings." I sighed. "Fine, I'm giving you one chance." He smiled and pulled me close again. "This time, let me kiss you." I had to smile; I had to give my line some edge. "No promises."He laughed and pulled me closer. I felt his breath on my lips just before our lips touched.

He squeezed my waist and I pulled on his short hair. I felt his tongue lick the bottom of my lip, asking for entrance. I opened my mouth and let his tongue fight my tongue. I pulled away for a moment. It felt good, but it was different. "What, what is it?" I shook my head. He pulled me close again, "I need to prove to you." He mumbled into my lips. He pushed me onto the couch and kissed my collarbone. He flipped us over. I nuzzled my head into his neck and bit his chin. "Do you believe me now?" I tried to nod, but it came out as a shake. "Fine," He started taking off his shirt. His skin was warm. He pulled off mine before I could stop him.