Childhood memories

I decided to take you on a short journey through Aramis' childhood. Maybe going to do the same with the other three too, if I feel like it. Hope you like it.
I still have some ideas of your on my list but your welcomed to give me some new ones!

She presses the little boy against her chest protectively. Feeling his steady heartbeat she smiles sadly. "I will make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you, mi hijo." She places a gently kiss on his head, then humming a melody in a soothing rhythm. She tries to not think how the boy will have to grow up – between whores. She tries to not think about the boy growing up without a father figure in his life. She just thanks god that he's alive. At least one man that will stay at her side.

"Mamá! Look what I've found," Rene shouts out, a big smile on his lips. "What is it?" She wonders over to her son, still so young and innocent. He opens his hands, revealing a young squirrel. Then his smile turns into a frown. "It seems hurt, mamà." She takes a look at the animal, noticing the tiny paw that is turned into a unnatural position. "Come with me, hijo." She leads Rene into her rooms, taking the way through the kitchen as always so he would go unnoticed by the guests. "Put it down here."

Rene does as his mother says and puts the squirrel onto the desk carefully. With big brown eyes he watches his mother as she bandages the tiny paw. "You need to feed him and keep him warm until he can survive by himself," she instructs and smiles, as she notices how Rene's chest fills with proud at being given such an important task. "I will do everything for him!" He exclaims, before running to the closet. He gets out a small wooden box and places a towel in it, so the squirrel will have it soft and warm.

She watches how the boy runs out of the room, just to come back with some milk a minute later. Now it's her chest that fills with proud, as she watches her young Rene caring for the squirrel with so much love and tenderness. He has a great heart and will grow up to be a great man.

Rene got older and started to understand what was happening around him. He knows where he lives and what his mother does to provide him with food and a home. She had always feared for this time to come. She feared for his reaction. He would be furious, ashamed or disappointed. He would have all right to do it. But she was wrong. Rene isn't ashamed or furious. Why should he be? He doesn't care what the other boys are saying, he doesn't think that his mother is a bad woman. He doesn't think she is a sinner. She is always there for him when he needs comfort. She makes sure he has everything he needs and gives him more love anyone else could. He knows that being a prostitute isn't the best work to, but she does what's necessary to survive.

But being old enough to understand this, he also knows that prostitutes can't work as such for ever. As they get older their customers get less until they won't be able to earn enough to live. Rene starts to fear what might become of his mother and him.

"No me fuerces!" Rene pleads, grabbing the hands of his mother. "I can't leave you alone, I can't go with him. Please, don't make me do this, mama." Tears roll down her face as she shakes her head. "Lo siento, mi hijo." "Please, listen. I can't go. I couldn't live not knowing how you are. I can't let you alone!" Rene grabs her hand tighter, refusing to let go. He can't let her alone, he needs to protect her. He has no husband or brother or father looking for her. He would be so alone. Alone between all these greedy men. No he can't go.

"Come now, son." The rough voice of the man that claims to be his father rips him out of his thoughts. "Go," his mother says more gently. She places her hand on his cheek, feeling the stubbles that are starting to grow. He is so mature for his age, so grown up – still he will ever be her little boy. He gulps, hugging her one last time before letting go. "Te amo, mamá." "Te amo, René." She places one last kiss on his forehead before pushing him in his fathers direction gently. Her heart shatters as she watches the two men ride away. But it will be the best for him to live with the d'Herblays. He will have an education, a chance in life. He won't have to live along with whores and can start a proper live. He will be married soon – such a handsome boy won't have a problem finding a woman that adores him.

Rene looks at the men as they ride away. This man – his father . "You will stop talking Spanish immediately Rene. I won't tolerate it." Aramis gulps, nodding slowly. He knows that there are people in France that dislike the Spanish , even hate them, but he hadn't thought his father would be one of them.

He wonders how his life with the d'Herblays will be.

Rene ran out of the house, already out of breath. He looks back, fear spreading in his chest as he sees his father following him. "Mierda," he curses as he notices how his father is nearly catching up with him. Even though he is a lot younger than him, his father is still a very athletic and fast man. "Stop running, Rene. It won't help you!" Rene knows his father is right, but the fear makes him run further. Until a weight collides to his back and he falls down, trying to get out of the grip of his father. "Please father, I didn't mean to. It was an accident. Please don't." He pleads fall on deaf ears as he is being dragged towards the house. "Just because your mother was one, it doesn't mean you can be a whore to. Sleeping with a girl before marriage – what have you even thought?!" Rene holds back the comment, that his father and mother wasn't married either, as he knows it will bring him just more trouble.

"What will the people in the village think, huh? My son, going to a priest school, impregnates the daughter of the smith! You're a shame to the family." Rene is being pushed down to the ground, noticing that they're in his room by now. "Confess your sins." His father hovers over him almighty, glancing down with fury in his eyes. Rene gulps, kneeling in front of the small altar. "Forgive me father for that I've sinned." He looks down at the holy book, hands shaking. As he doesn't keep going, his father gets even more angry with him. "Do as you're told! Or aren't you even regretting your sins?"

"Please father, don't make me do it." Tears fill his eyes as he looks at the utensil lying beside the book. The man huffs, taking the flog in his hands. "Then I will do it." Aramis eyes widen in shock as his shirt is ripped open. He struggles against the tight grip on his shoulders – hopelessly. "Please don't, father. Please, I know what I did wrong, please do-" A pained scream stops his pleads, as the whip makes contact with his scarred skin. He clenches his eyes shut and hold onto the table to keep himself somehow upright. "Please stop," he begs as his skin is torn apart. A third stroke follows, before his father places the flog on the table again. "Wash and dress yourself. We will talk to Father Levevre, he will know what to do."

Rene holds back his tears as he tries to clean the wounds on his back. He stops, as his door is opened and Justine, his half-sister, enters. "Let me help you," he says with a sympathetic smile and takes the wet towel out of his hands. She cleans his wounds carefully. "I won't bandage them, father wouldn't like it." She explains before leaving again. She knows that Rene doesn't want to be seen like this.

Aramis can't hold back a sob as he puts on a shirt, not because of the burning pain but because of the humiliation. Because of the new scars forming on his back, always remembering on what he had done. Eyes drawn to the ground he walks down the stairs and follows his father into the village. He wonders if his wounds are still bleeding and straining his white shirt as he feels the people curious eyes on him. He enters the church with a heavy heart, not daring to look into the priests face.

"Your father has already told me what happened, my son." He says, voice much more gently as his fathers. "I know you have already confessed your sins and atoned for them. God will forgive you my son." Rene feels as if a bit of the heavy weight on his shoulders is being lifted by the soothing words of the priest. "What shall we do now?" Monsieur d'Herblay asks curious, holding back his anger.

"God would want that you marry that poor girl. Maybe then her lost soul has the chance for absolution." Renes eyes widen at the words. Marry? It's nothing special for boys in his age to marry but he just doesn't feel ready for it, even though he loves Isabelle.

He looks back to the house with a mix of sorrow and relief. Even though his father was very strict, he had thought him so much – for what he is grateful. Leaving him and Justine behind isn't easy for him.

But after everything that happened he can't stay here. He has to go away, anywhere but here. He kicks his horse slightly and makes his way towards Paris. After losing their child, Isabelle was different. A demon raged in her, the priest had said. But Rene knows better than. He just was lost, alone, sad. He wanted to be there for her, marry her anyway and make everything better. But then, on a rainy morning, she was gone. He father had hidden her from him. He had searched everywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. He not only had lost his child, but his fiancé and first real love, too. And then… just a few days later, he had found the letter in a long forgotten box in the cellar. The letter that shattered the already broken pieces of his heart into ash. The letter that his mother had died. Years ago. He never knew, never had the chance to bury her. He was never able to say goodbye.

In this moment he had decided to leave. Leave the d'Herblays, leave the small village. To leave his old life behind and start something new. He decided to leave Rene behind and take on a new name. Aramis seemed fittingly. He leaved the sorrow and pain hidden in the back of his mind, decided that a mask of happiness and easiness would fit better.