Edward was nervous as hell, it had been days since he had brought up the fact that he still wanted Jasper and he was still waiting for Jasper to come to a decision. The first couple of days he was really understanding about it, but as the days wore on he became impatient and hurt. Days and not only did he not get answers, he got nothing. They were even supposed to have had another tutoring session by now and Jasper had cancelled, some pathetic excuse he couldn't even remember now. He knew what it really was, Jasper was avoiding Edward and wondering why was starting to eat him up. He didn't know if it was because Jasper just didn't want him at all, or if he did want him but he was so frightened of what happened last time that he was just too scared to do anything about it. Or there was the option that he still hadn't weighed up his options and decided what he wanted. Whichever way it was Edward didn't know how much longer he could take any of this, he was already regretting having said anything in the first place. Maybe this was Jasper's way of punishing him for his childish behaviour, for walking out and for throwing his relationship with James in his face. And in all honesty he really couldn't blame him if it was. He knew that as hurt and upset as he was feeling right now it had to have hurt Jasper even more to see him with somebody else so soon after everything that they had been through, after everything he had risked for Edward. Edward sighed to himself and walked up the steps and in to the school, determined to make his patience last as long as it took Jasper to come to him, he owed him that much.
Jasper was pacing the floor behind his desk, he was so confused still about what he wanted and what he should be doing about this situation. He knew what he wanted in his heart, but he supposed the question now was whether his heart or his head would win. Either way he was determined to give Edward an answer by the end of the day, poor Edward was probably already wondering why it was taking him so long to decide what he wanted. It should be a simple decision for him really, he wasn't in a relationship with anybody else, he really liked Edward and they had a pretty strong physical attraction but then there was everything else that came along with it. More than once he wished Edward was his age, that he had met him in college or something simpler, much more simple than the position that he found himself in now at any rate. He could risk losing the one person who was perfect for him, but if they got found out he could risk losing everything he had worked his whole life for. He wasn't really happy about gving up either and he wished there was a way to ensure that he could have both and lose none, but he knew things just weren't that simple, life threw you curve balls and you just had to decide how you would deal with them. Jasper spent the rest of the morning pacing his room, he just couldn't seem to stay still even during his lessons.
The day went by pretty slowly for both of the boys, just thinking about everything and letting it all play on their minds. Finally the last period of the day came, and Edward walked in to Jasper's classroom, preparing himself mentally to be ignored and get no answers once again. He looked at Jasper as he walked in but as he expected Jasper was looking elsewhere, making himself busy with some papers on his desk, probably doing it on purpose. No, Edward must stop thinking like that, he must stop taking everything so personally and just wait for Jasper to come to him when he was ready. He had to take the mature route, show Jasper that the age difference between them really wasn't that much of a big deal, that he could be just as mature as the next person. He had to, he couldn't stand the idea that his impatience caused the ending of it, he wasn't usually this impatient or immature but he supposed Jasper just seemed to have an effect on him. After what seemed like forever Jasper turned around and addressed the class, he smiled over at Edward, this left Edward stunned in his seat. He had barely look at him for days now and then when he does he gets this smile, he smiled back at him. He hoped this meant what he thought it did.
At the end of the lesson Edward dawdled putting his things away, he was hoping that Jasper would have something to say to him. He had allowed himself to become lost in his thoughts and when he looked up from packing away his things everybody else had left the room, leaving him alone with Jasper. Who just so happened to be staring straight at him.
"Edward, i'm glad it ended up just me and you, we need to talk." Jasper said, a strange look on his face. This did not look good to Edward, it looked like the kind of face you have on when you have some difficult news to break, or a really painful conversation to have. Edward's heart had leapt up in to his throat, he hoped that this was not going to be one of those moments. The smile that Jasper had flashed him earlier had melted in to the back of his mind now.
"I've been thinking a lot about our.. situation. I just can't see an easy way for this to go. I'm left with the option of waiting for graduation and then we can be together, but it's likely that there will still be a fair amount of talking, I mean you will have just left high school and i am your teacher. So it's bound to look a little peculiar to most people. But even with that i am wondering if we truly could wait, it's alright you saying we can but there's a fair few weeks between then and now and i saw how fast you got with James. I understand that you're a teenager and that you're emotions are running wild, it wasn't that long ago that i was in your shoes you know. I'm not prepared to risk everything that i have if you can't gurantee me that you will be waiting at the end for me, i don't want to wait for you only to have you turn around and tell me that you have met somebody else. I know that you think that you're mature and you can handle this but can you really? Can you gurantee me, above anything else, that you will still want me when you've graduated? I can't stand the hurt that i felt before, not again." Jasper looked at Edward patiently, waiting for a reply. Edward now finally understood just how hurt Jasper must have been before, how much he had hurt him and he felt his chest tighten with the pain of his regret. He couldn't believe he had been so cold and selfish, he had to make that up to the brilliant man who stood in front of him baring his soul for Edward.
"Jasper, i know that i let you down before. I showed immaturity that just isn't like me. In all of the weeks that we were talking and hanging out, i was never that guy. I just felt so hurt and alone, i just wanted to make you feel the same and i know that's childish but i don't think that has anything to do with my age at all really. I think most people feel like that in relationships when they get so hurt, they just want to hurt the other person and everybody can become that childish if they're hurt enough. I know i will want you, i have never wanted anyone or anything so much in my life, and i know that isn't too long i guess but i do want you. And i can gurantee you that i will still want you when i graduate, we can weather the storm together after our relationship goes public. Whatever you choose is up to you, but i can say without a doubt that i will not let you down like i did before, and we will wait for graduation and then we can be happy and together properly." Edward looked in to Jasper's eyes, pleading with him to believe what he was saying. He needed Jasper to believe him, whether or not he chose to take the risk was up to him but at least now he knew how Edward felt about it all. Edward at least could not regret the fact that he never tried to get him back.
"Okay, Edward. I still want you, however much i fight it i don't think i will ever win. I will wait for you for graduation, but we must wait until then. Nothing can happen until then, we can not speak about it again until then and we become a normal student and teacher. We can't give anything away this time."
"I agree, we need to be careful and we will be. I just can't tell you how happy i am that you decided to give us another chance. I know you won't regret it, and i definitely will never regret it. I'll go now, don't want people to be talking. We can just say that we were discussing my essay because we missed our session. I'll see you at tomorrow.. Sir." Edward left the classroom then with the biggest grin ever on his face, he couldn't believe that he could ever feel this happy, he knew what people meant now when they said they felt like they were walking on air. That's how he felt, weightless. He was absolutely thrilled, and honestly relieved, he had been a little unsure of how Jasper would decide. He left the school that day happier than he had been in weeks, he couldn't believe that graduation was just around the corner, and so was the relationship that he had been waiting for.