Touhou Doujin: Dawitsu's Recompense

Chapter 21: The AV Node- it's in the heart, not the TV

Scarlet Devil Mansion, Three Post Meridian

Sakuya and Dawitsu had both decided an official break was in order. Remilia was nowhere to be seen, so there were no objections to this. Sakuya had made jasmine tea, and the two sat down on the stairs, discussing the smaller things in life.

"So... Sakuya..." Dawitsu had decided to change the current subject, which was chocolate coronets, to a more saucy one, "...Rinnosuke. What's his best feature?"

Sakuya giggled, and put on her favourite director's accent, "Oh, I can't tell you that, it's confidential..."

Dawitsu couldn't help but laugh every time that movie was mentioned. He finally parried, "If it's confidential, that must mean he's got a big..."

"...yes, he's got big abs." Sakuya cleaned Dawitsu's inferred sentence up.

Dawitsu grinned, partially in hilarity, partially in envy, "Heh, some guys just... have it all, don't they? And he, of all people, was once the one and only man in town. Lucky him..."

Sakuya clocked on to a nuance in Dawitsu's speech, "Hmm... hold on, you may be onto something. He's very desirable, and one of the few men in Gensokyo... you don't think that he might have... multiple girlfriends, do you?"

"Of course not..." Dawitsu took a sip of his tea, and continued, "I assume that he's a well-wishing gentleman. He's strong, he's polite, he's interesting, he's... damn annoying, that's how perfect he is! But despite all of these 'too good to be true' qualities, I don't reckon he'd hurt you. I mean, did you see the way he turned down Reimu? He quite clearly values your feelings..."

Sakuya didn't expect that kind of response from Dawitsu. She expected him to run away with the idea, in some kind of lame bid to break them up. "D-do you mean that?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Dawitsu replied.

Sakuya sipped down the last remnants of her tea, and simply said, "I don't know. Thanks, though, I have a lot more faith in him than I did before..."

"I'm glad. Now, I think Flandre's probably missing me, so I'll go into the basement now..." Dawitsu tailed off the conversation, wishing he could keep it going a little longer.

"Oh... fair enough. I have some cleaning to do, anyway..." Sakuya co-operated with the termination of banter.

"You always have cleaning to do, don't you? You're a hard worker... how very admirable. Just how did you come into the service of Remilia? I'm just curious." Dawitsu suddenly felt unable to leave the conversation.

"It's... complicated. If I started, we'd be here until evening." Sakuya replied, leaving no option for elaboration.

"Oh... goodbye for now, then..." Dawitsu knew that it was impossible to have a story that long, but left for the basement, regardless.

He walked down the basement stairs, and was quite shocked to see both Remilia and Flandre laid on Flandre's bed, taking it in turns to read. Both were so engrossed in the reading that they didn't notice Dawitsu's arrival.

Flandre read slowly and clearly, "Lennie's eyes were frightened."

Remilia squirmed slightly, then put on her best Lennie impression, "I don't want no trouble."

"He said plai... plaintive... ly..."

Remilia's voice had a rare streak of encouragement,"That's it, Flandre! Plaintively! Good girl!"

"Are you going to do the voice?" Flandre asked.

"Oh, of course." Remilia entered Lennie's role once again, "Don't let him sock me, George."

Remilia turned around after saying this, wanting to change position on the bed. She then noticed Dawitsu watching over the pair, and noticed the somewhat goofy smile on his face.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Remilia asked Dawitsu, "Don't just stare at me and sister without telling me! That's just sick!"

Dawitsu sweat-dropped, "Uh... it's nothing like that!"

"Explain that stupid grin on your face! I demand you to!"

"Well..." Dawitsu scratched his head, "I guess I'm just pleasantly surprised about... well... seeing you reading to Flandre."

Flandre added gleefully, "Remi can do the voices! She makes Lennie sound pretty!"

Dawitsu nodded, "I bet she does. So, Remilia, do you think you could do a better Curley's Wife than me?"

Remilia folded her arms, "Well, of course! She's the only character where you don't have an unfair advantage..."

"Oh, okay... I'll give it a go." Dawitsu snorted slightly, as he needed a clear nose to pull of what he perceived of Curley's Wife... a nasal-voiced, slightly seductive voice, "I lived right in Salinas... come there when I was a kid. Well, a show came through, an' I met one of the actors..."

Remilia continued the line in her version, a smooth, but almost failing attempt at sounding mature, "He says I could go with the show. But my ol' lady wouldn't let me. She says because I was on'y fifteen. But the guy says I coulda. If I'd went, I wouldn't be livin' like this, you bet."

Flandre clapped as the two duked it out in an impressionism war. Remilia actually was the better impressionist this time round, as Dawitsu couldn't impersonate the female voice all that well, despite being a mimicker. After a few more lines, Dawitsu gave up.

"Oh... my nose hurts... speaking all nasally is hard..." Dawitsu said, pinching his nose for emphasis.

"Well, I could carry on all day!" Remilia gloated, "Oh, and I don't need you any more."

Dawitsu was taken aback by the sudden change of subject, "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, you're free. You're not my prisoner any more, so go away and do... whatever it is freaks like you do..." Remilia confirmed what Dawitsu thought he'd heard.

Dawitsu grinned, "You're making it sound nasty, but you're trying to say you're letting me go, aren't you?"

"I'm not making it sound nasty, I am nasty! I'm the queen of the night! And if you don't shut your trap and leave my house, I'll make sure your fate is a gruesome one..." Remilia tried to add threat to her last words, but to no avail. It was times like this that made Remilia resent her young looks.

"Hold on, can I still visit?" Dawitsu was now worried he'd never see Flandre again.

"Of course not." Remilia snapped.

Flandre giggled, "Oh, Remi's just joking! You'll come back, won't you? Because I don't think Onee-sama knows a lot about science like you do, Sensei!"

Remilia resisted punching her near all-powerful sister, and smiled falsely, "Uh... of course I merely jest. You can come back any time you want to teach Flandre... but don't sit around and talk to my chief maid... when you come here, you go straight to the basement, understood?"

Dawitsu smirked, "Yes, Queen Remilia the First of The Night. I'll leave right away."

Flandre ran up to Dawitsu, "Before you go, I want to give you a kiss!"

"No, I don't think that's necessary, a hug will be just fine..." Dawitsu tried to stop the young Vampiress, but failed, and received a tiny peck on the cheek.

Remilia was most displeased, "Flandre! Never kiss a boy again!"

"It was only on the cheek, cut her some slack..." Dawitsu said in defence of Flandre.

"Sorry, Onee-sama..." Flandre seemed to have ignored Dawitsu's defence in favour of Remilia's scolding.

"Oh, Flandre, don't be too bored when I'm away, okay?" Dawitsu said, parting ways with the two vampires and walking up and out of the basement, then further into the Mansion Grounds.

Remilia looked at Flandre somewhat sternly, "Okay, Flandre, what has that man done to you?"

"What do you mean, Onee-sama?"

"Well... has he kissed you, or touched you somewhere... private?" Remilia didn't quite know how to explain to Flandre the basics of sexual harassment.

Flandre pouted, "No, he wouldn't even let me marry him! He didn't like kissing me at all! But I kissed him while he was sleeping, if that counts..."

Remilia felt nauseous, even more so because she knew she couldn't blame Dawitsu for this. It was entirely one-sided. "Well, don't kiss him. He doesn't want to be kissed, and chasing boys like that is silly anyway."

"So I was right..."

"Right about what?"

Flandre put her index finger on Remilia's nose in a similar way to how Dawitsu put his on her nose when he went for a walk with Sakuya. "I thought that the only reason you weren't married was because you don't like boys. Because you're very pretty, and boys like to marry pretty girls, don't they?"

Remilia blushed, "Not... girls like us. If a boy does want to marry girls that look like us, there's something strange about them."

The Forest of Magic, ten minutes later

Dawitsu was walking with a rather upbeat, over-the-top rhythmic motion, and soliloquised in an ridiculous voice, "Once upon a time, Mateyuu Dawitsu was just... walking through the forest, when... BOOM!"

What he didn't expect was something to actually appear upon him saying 'Boom'. Marisa flew into view, riding her broom and with mini-hakkero in hand. "Hey, you! I'm gonna fight you!"

"What? Why?" Dawitsu asked.

Marisa looked confident, as if it was the fourteenth time such reasoning had gone through her head, "Because you're the third person I've come across, which means that if I fight you, you'll have some kind of information on the incident, and will point me towards some people that know the incident causers!"

"Well, I can't argue with that logic. But unfortunately, I know nothing about the incident. So I guess I'm just the third mid-boss." Dawitsu shrugged his shoulders.

"Hm. The only time the third mid-boss and the third boss have been different people has been in the most recent incident I solved... you must be lying! You don't look like a former second boss to me!" Marisa played Devil's Advocate.

"Wait, you solved that? I never got the hang of playing as you, I've only solved it as Reimu and Youmu..." Dawitsu stopped himself, realising that this was perhaps too much of a fourth wall break for even Marisa to handle.

"What are you talking about? Uh... wait, I can't say 'Bitch, get out the way' to you, can I?"

"No, it's not really applicable to me..."

"Oh, okay then. How about this? 'Knave, have at ye!'" Marisa insulted uncertainly.

"Now, I love your remarks more than anyone in Gensokyo, but... Marisa, that sucked. Let's just get this fight over and done with." Dawitsu floated into the air, adopting an easily moveable position.

"That's more like it! Knave, have at ye!" Marisa began shooting her lumps of magic and illusion lasers straight forward.

Dawitsu moved away from the barrage, and began his first spell-card in a somewhat thought-up-out-of-nowhere routine. "Parody Mimic: It's a Nasty Kind of Magic!"

After calling his attack, Dawitsu got out an unremarkable looking book, and opened it, turning the pages towards Marisa. Marisa felt herself being sucked in, and then Dawitsu began forming a orbiting set of blue bullets in bands around the book's centre of gravity.

"What's this copying? Utsuho Reiuji?" Marisa asked out of interest.

Dawitsu continued to attack, but answered, "No... a famous outside-world magician called Ignatius Mortimer Meen. In his words... this book is made to order, but it isn't to be read, when they open up this book... they're SUCKED INSIDE INSTEAD, to the most unpleasant place they've ever seen... the magic labyrinth of I M Meen... very scary and confusing..."

"Okay, okay, I didn't ask for your life story. This is too easy, have you got any other attacks?" Marisa flew backwards to counteract the vacuum-like effect of the strange tome, and focused her lasers onto Dawitsu, singing his hair.

"Ouch!" Dawitsu felt as his hair caught fire. "Oh, damn it, not again... right, I'll change spell-card. Copycat Sign: Bonechill's minty fresh breath... of DOOM!"

"That doesn't make you cool, you know."

Dawitsu started to feel the urge to win, "Shut up!" The immediate area became covered in ice as a mist of blue and white bullets filled the area. All the cold had put out the fire, and the ice was refracting the lasers.

However, this was counter-active to Dawitsu's attack plan, as the lasers were now at unpredictable angles, although technically they were predictable, but Dawitsu didn't have the refractive index of glass and a sine-graph handy, nor did he have the time. He sent a wave of forward-facing lasers towards Marisa, and kept two logarithm-wave shaped barrages appearing behind her.

Marisa had to admit this was a difficult to avoid attack. Fortunately she had a bomb spare. "Sorry to ruin this for you, but... MASTER SPARK!"

Marisa sent her trademark love-coloured laser straight through Dawitsu's ice-based barrage, engulfing the Youkai in simply too much energy. After it was over, Dawitsu decided he'd give up after this attempt. "Ugh... okay, lets see... real life, real life... oh, here's a good one! Recollection: Ibiza's Rave Party Strobe-lights!"

Dawitsu set up seven moving lasers that periodically and consecutively went on and off. They activated in the order Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Aqua, Blue, and Purple, all while some kind of artificial-sounding music played from... somewhere.

"Wow, where's that... sound loosely defined as music coming from?" Marisa asked, flying sideways as she dodged the activation of the blue laser.

"Do you banter like this with all your opponents, or should I consider myself honoured?" Dawitsu replied with a question.

"Consider yourself honoured. You have an odd style of Danmaku when you're not ripping us off..."

"Well, I still kind of am ripping... something off." Dawitsu admitted, and then purposefully ran into Marisa's line of fire.

Taking the opportunity, Marisa mercilessly gunned down Dawitsu, causing him to experience loss for the third time in Gensokyo. "Okay, now tell me who caused the intrusion from the outside world!"

Dawitsu, panting from taking so much hits, muttered, "Wait... you want recent additions to Gensokyo? Oh, then you may want to talk to Reimu. It's not the first time she's been a fourth boss..."

"Mind escorting me, fine gentleman?" Marisa taunted, and dismounted her broom once lowered.

"But you can fend for yourself!" Dawitsu pointed out.

"Oh, but I feel there should be a reward for beating the third boss in this instalment!"

"Oh, fine. Have some extra options..." Dawitsu proceeded to perform full-body mitosis, forming two Chibi versions of himself, "You've dealt with these guys before, right?"

"Sure. Hey, guys, remember me?" Marisa asked the two midgets.

Dawitsu whispered into Marisa's ear, "Um... they aren't fairies... each one is a new life, and when they die their memory isn't shared."

"Really? That sucks." Marisa then gestured to the Chibis, "Hey, I'm your new boss now, so come along..."

One of the Chibis seemed brain-damaged and simply grunted when he walked to Marisa's left, but the one which stood to her right said, "It'll be a pleasure working with ya, Miss... uh... Witch Lady."

Dawitsu smiled and shook his head, "Alright now, don't irritate young Marisa. And just shoot rainbows in a curved trajectory... if she focuses her other options, shoot straight forward, and apart from that... good luck. Oh, while I get the chance to speak to you, Marisa..."

Marisa put her hands on her hips. "Fine, what is it?"

"Um... you know Alice?"

"What about her?"

Dawitsu struggled to quite get his point across, "Do you... would you... consider dating her? It's just that she's absolutely crazy about you, and..."

"No, I'm straight. That Rinnosuke... I've known him since I was a kid, always had a crush on him... not that I'd ever go for him, he's way too old for me." Marisa matter-of-factly answered.

"Oh... that's a mature way to look at it. At least you know it's futile... unlike a certain Shrine Maiden..." Dawitsu rolled his eyes meaningfully.

"What do you mean? Did Sanae embarrass herself or something?" Marisa didn't quite get his meaning.

"Oh, never mind. Just ask Reimu about... boys, you'll understand. It'll also help you solve whatever... incident you have in mind so... chop, chop!" Dawitsu said somewhat encouragingly.

Marisa grinned at the juicy information, "Are you sure you're not a Tengu? Because that is some gossip! Oh, I'm gonna have fun at Reimu's place now!" Marisa began to fly with her broomstick, and sped off, with the two Chibis following at equal speed (Albeit the one on the left flying into a tree as he departed).

Dawitsu stared into the sky, somewhat satisfied. He was blissfully unaware that Alice was staring from behind a tree, having watched the whole conversation.

Kourindou, a further ten minutes later

Dawitsu knocked on Kourindou's door. He intended to merely chat with Rinnosuke for a bit, hopefully extract some of his manly secrets that he'd somehow acquired in his considerably shorter lifespan.

"Please come in, this is a shop open to the public." Rinnosuke said, somewhat confused by the act of apprehension on Dawitsu's part.

Once he entered, Dawitsu said, "Hello there. I was just talking with Sakuya, and..."

Rinnosuke interrupted Dawitsu in the middle of his sentence, "You're always talking with Sakuya... okay, I'm not going to judge you, but do you still have a thing for her or something?"

"N-no! What made you think that? Why would you say that out the blue?" Dawitsu began to panic.

"Well, it's just that you were once in a relationship with her, that's all..." Rinnosuke realised he'd just added tension to the atmosphere, and for no good reason too.

Dawitsu tried to ease the shopkeeper, "Ah, I can understand your deduction, but fortunately for you, it's false. Anyway, I was discussing with Sakuya about your finest assets... and well, I was wondering... what's your secret?"

"What secret?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" Dawitsu laughed somewhat patronisingly, "Women! They love you! Any girl who's straight here... all they want is you, man! So, what's up? How are you that awesome?" Dawitsu leaned on the kiosk in a somewhat forced relaxed position.

"Well, I think it's just because I'm the only man in Gensokyo..." Rinnosuke stopped talking as Dawitsu cleared his throat as a hint that he was, in fact, male, "Uh... was the only man in Gensokyo, that they all saw me as the only option. I don't know, why are you asking me?"

"Dude, it's not just that..." Dawitsu couldn't quite believe he'd just used the word 'dude'. It had quite clearly been a while since he'd had a 'guy' conversation with anyone, "...even the Youkai love you!"

"I wouldn't be so sure. Why, I heard the other day from that reporter... uh... Hatate something-or-other... that her rival... you know, that Aya woman, has a thing for you..." Rinnosuke proposed, offering hope to Dawitsu.

Dawitsu felt vomit enter his mouth, then quickly stopped himself from ruining Rinnosuke's floor. He slowly swallowed the sour, horrific-tasting content back down into his stomach, and spluttered, "Th-that's got to be fake... I knew Hatate was a useless journalist, but I never had her down as a slanderer."

"Well, she seemed pretty genuine to me." Rinnosuke said, and then turned his attention to the door, which opened once again.

It was Alice Margatroid, who had an expression of fixed rage emblazoned on her face. "Are you the one they call... Rinnosuke?"

"Well, yes. Who are you, the famous Alice..." Rinnosuke attempted to make light banter, but Alice wasn't having any of it.

"I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MARISA AWAY FROM ME!" she screamed, and prepared to throw six dolls with spikes armed at Rinnosuke's face. However, Dawitsu saw it coming, and leapt into the firing line. When she sent the dolls forward, the needle-like weapons impaled Dawitsu in six spots around chest and abdomen.

Dawitsu grunted, and yelled, "Alice! What the hell?" Dawitsu tried to make light of situation, and put on a brown fedora, "I never thought you'd stoop that low!"

Alice was about to reattempt the same move, Rinnosuke even hid under the kiosk in preparation, but then noticed Dawitsu had blood seeping into his shirt.

"Uh... Dawitsu... are you alright?" Alice asked.

Dawitsu stood up, "Ah, I knew you'd see sense. Of course I'm fine, I've seen worse injuries than... wait, what's that wet feeling on my chest?"

Rinnosuke shouted from safety, "Thanks for that, I'm no good at fighting..."

Dawitsu woozily said, "Whoa... uh... it's okay, Rinnosuke, any time... but first... Alice, is there something on my chest?"

Alice was staring in horror at the ever-growing red patch on his white shirt, "You're... you're... you're..."

Dawitsu finally said, assuming it was something minor, "Oh, come on, you're acting like I'm dying or..." Dawitsu stopped speaking as he noticed that he was bleeding quite violently. "That's... not good..." Dawitsu fell forwards, catching himself and standing on his knees.

Alice knelt beside Dawitsu, "No! I'm so sorry! Are you seriously hurt? Is there anything I could do?"

"Well... seen as she's the most likely person to know what to do... get Yutaka for me. Please... I beg of you, that's all I ask." Dawitsu began gasping in a controlled manner, knowing from medical training that deep breaths allow a haemorrhaging person to stay conscious a tad longer than those who simply hyperventilate.

Alice ran out of the door as quickly as she entered, and Rinnosuke came out from behind the counter. He asked, "Can I be of assistance?"

"...Sure... bring me all the knick-knacks you can find that you have no more use for... Yutaka... can transform items, and she may need the matter to transform into something useful." Dawitsu was struggling to say everything coherently.

Rinnosuke nodded, "Okay. I'm sorry I didn't step in to help you earlier..."

"And do what? Don't... blame yourself... I'm a Youkai... I can... take the hits better than you, there was... nothing you could have done to save me without... seriously endangering yourself." Dawitsu winced, and said, "Damn... she... must have hit a sweet spot... I'm really feeling this... is it okay if I save my energy 'til Yutaka... arrives?"

"Sure. I'll get the stuff..." Rinnosuke rushed into the back of the shop.

Dawitsu Mansion, the library, five minutes later

Patchouli was reading a book on Freudian Psychology, and was refusing to accept the validity of it, "So, essentially, this Freud fellow thinks we're nothing more than sex-crazed animals?"

Yutaka giggled, "Essentially, yes." Her speech was cut off by the doorbell ringing. "Oh my, I wonder who that could be..."

Patchouli mumbled, "Oh, Ran can get it, can't she?"

"No, I want to see who's at the door. Who knows, perhaps the young Frenchman has learnt how to fly already?" Yutaka theorised, and walked into the lift going down.

"Fine, I'll see who it is too..." Patchouli seemed to do nothing but follow the ever-energetic Yutaka around.

Yutaka walked towards the door, noticing that Ran was, for whatever reason, absent from the foyer sofa, where she'd usually be playing on the Nintendo 64. She opened the door to find a distraught, incoherent Alice.

"Yutaka! Yutaka! Dawitsu! Hurt! All my fault! Help! Please!" Alice seemed considerably out of control compared to her usual demeanour, and Yutaka extracted the only information relevant.

"Wait, so the Boss is hurt? Where is he?" Yutaka demanded of Alice, "What's happened?"

Alice fell silent for a split second, then bawled her eyes out, "OH, YUTAKA! I'VE IMPALED YOUR BOSS!"

Yutaka's expression fell to a grave one, "Patchouli, please can you go back to the library and get the 'Human Anatomy' book? It's located in entry six-one-one in the Dewey Decimal System. Hurry!" Patchouli ran back into the lift, and Yutaka continued to question Alice, "Calm down... how did he look when you last saw him?"

"He was bleeding... a lot... from the chest. He only asked for you, he said you'd know what to do..." Alice returned to the emotionally wrecked state she was in a moment ago, "I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM!"

Yutaka tried to remain calm, knowing she was the only one currently able to, "Can you take me to him?"

Alice sniffed, "Y-yes... he's at Kourindou..."

Patchouli returned with the book. Yutaka acknowledged her presence, and said, "According to Alice, he's at Kourindou... I hope the Boss is alright..."

Alice twitched, and declared in a melancholic fashion, "He's not... he's not... oh, what have I done..."

Kourindou, another five minutes later

Rinnosuke had taken off Dawitsu's cloak and shirt, and was trying his best to tend to Dawitsu despite his limited knowledge. Dawitsu was silent, trying to remain awake.

The door crashed open, revealing Alice, who said, "I've... I've got Yutaka for you..."

Alice tried to run from the scene as soon as she had done her job, but Dawitsu croaked, "Alice... stay..."

Alice felt ashamed, too ashamed to look her victim in the eye. She obliged, but almost instantly burst into tears. Yutaka soon followed, and Patchouli was behind her, carrying a book that Dawitsu knew was on Human Anatomy. Patchouli was keeping the straightest face, but even she was noticeably worried.

"Yutaka... you came... good... thinking..." Dawitsu smiled wryly.

Yutaka sat beside the now lying Dawitsu, and observed the erupting hole in his chest. It was periodically chugging out blood in discrete quanta. Yutaka knew what it was, and Dawitsu picked up on that almost instantly.

"Ah... you're... as brilliant... as always... it's my heart, isn't it? It's going out every time my heart beats..." Dawitsu weakly explained.

"Oh, Boss..." Yutaka wished she could be strong, but this situation was too much to bear, "Boss... please don't try to be your own Doctor..."

"But... I'm not... I'm only helping out... my very own trainee Surgeon..." Dawitsu slowly moved his hand to hold Yutaka's, "Yutaka... I need you to perform... open... heart... surgery..."

"But... I can't... I've never used a surgical knife before..." Yutaka knew that there was no other choice.

"...trust me... I... I'm getting sick of these dumb ER situations too... but... I'm kind of selfish... and... if at all possible... prefer to be alive..." Dawitsu grinned at his attempt to stay positive despite the situation, "Boy... it's so different when I'm the one being operated on..."

Yutaka turned to Patchouli, "Patchy... please can you turn to the page on the human heart?"

Patchouli nodded, flicked through the pages and placed the book in front of Yutaka. Yutaka nodded, "Thank you... Boss... what if I fail? What if you..." Yutaka gripped Dawitsu's hand firmly, "What if I... if I get something wrong? I'll kill you... I'll..."

Tears began to form in Yutaka's eyes, and Dawitsu tried his best to stop her, "I... I won't be... angry... the dead... they are conscious of nothing... their love, their hate... and their jealousy have long since vanished... I... won;t have a grudge... even if I do have a ghost, I'm not going to... blame you... because I'll know you... you at least tried your hardest... by the way, that... pile of junk... is for you to form into surgical tools... knives, catgut... you name it... can you please sedate me?"

Yutaka couldn't believe what he had just asked her to do, "But... Boss... I..."

"There's some chloroform in my cloak pocket... pour some onto the cloak... and put it over my mouth..." Dawitsu's voice became more strained.

"Yes, sir..." Yutaka began to look in the aforementioned cloak's pockets.

"I... before I go under... in case I... you know, don't wake up, I just want you... all you around here to know something. I haven't planned any last words... but... Rinnosuke... please... tell Sakuya to enjoy her life... and... Alice... I... don't hate you. Patchouli... if I die, be strong for Yutaka, and be logical... tell her to move on... I don't want her living bound by my memory... and... Yutaka... Yutaka... I... I... will always... love..." Dawitsu stopped to gasp, and finally muttered, "I'll always love you... those are... undying feelings... oh, and please bury me under a tree. That way at some point new life will arise... from my... lack of... I'm out of energy. Chloroform, please..."

Yutaka grabbed the cloak, now partially soaked in Chloroform, and put it over Dawitsu's open mouth. He inhaled deeply, and broke into a content smile as he slept. Yutaka's heart sank as his posture did, and, after taking it in, looked at the book she was holding.

"I think that..." Yutaka grabbed a souvenir fork, transforming it into a knife, "If I cut as small a hole as possible, I'll be able to work on this easily..."

Rinnosuke, who had been silent for the duration of the event, asked, "Would you like me to do anything for you? Do you need a drink?"

"No, thank you..." Yutaka finished the wobbly line she had cut, and flinched as the incision opened to reveal a large amount of fat, and the still-beating heart of Dawitsu. The majority of it was still behind his ribs, and Yutaka looked at the book for guidance. According to the book, operating on a beating heart was the only way to avoid the necessity of a bypass machine, and that the lower ribs would have to be removed in order to gain access to the heart without affecting it's function. And considering that Yutaka was unfamiliar with bypass machines, that method would have to do. Yutaka transformed Dawitsu's lower ribs into two sets of Catgut, and then observed the heart from the vantage point. It's hard for one to gaze at the innards... the malfunctioning innards at that, of one's best friend. Yutaka grimaced, but then noticed something odd.

The side of the heart the blood was shooting out of... it was the top side. The left atrium. Yutaka remembered from one of Dawitsu's overly long, self-glorifying speeches that the Atria never had high pressure contractions, and that only the Ventricles contracted with any force. Yet there was quite clearly high pressure bleeding from this atrium. Upon further observation, she noticed that the heart wasn't doing a typical two-stage beat, but rather was screwing up equally at all sides, simultaneously. There was a name for the co-ordinator in this... the thing which delayed the contractions to allow time for the blood to flow from Atrium to Ventricle... the Atrioventricular node! The AV node! Something was wrong with the AV node!

Yutaka shouted, "I've found it! I know what's wrong! Alice, you must have pierced the Atrial wall, and hit the AV node... the problem is that simultaneous contractions are causing back-flow and massive blood loss! I thought I wouldn't be able to patch up a high-pressure haemorrhage like that, but if I can make an artificial AV Node, I can lower to Atrial Pressure and restore balance and that means I can sew up the hear which means I can SAVE THE BOSS!" Yutaka was triumphant, and got to work instantly. "So..." Yutaka found the section on the Atrioventricular Node, "There are two sections to the AV Node, one of High Electrical Resistance and short refractory period and the other of Low Resistance and a long refractory period... of course! The body is ingenious!"

Patchouli, Alice, and Rinnosuke didn't bother pointing out that she was talking in vain as no-one had the foggiest idea what she was talking about, and simply watched as she picked up a novelty silver penguin and an egg timer, and concentrated on merging the two into a body of Myogenic Cells. She made it partly receptive to nerve impulses, but more or less kept the cells as unspecified as possible to avoid rejection. Once she was satisfied, she formed herself some surgical gloves, and did the gruesome job of actively placing the artificial conduction node into the atrial wall. While fingering the blood-covered mass, she detected the damaged tissue. She quickly took to transforming the ravaged tissue into average cardiac cells, and made sure that the new node was integrated fully into the heart.

Time seemed to stop as Yutaka waited for the next beat of Dawitsu's heart. Despite the wait only being two seconds, it seemed like a century. Finally, the beat affirmed Yutaka's theory as correct. Blood spurted from the Atrial wall, but nowhere near as dramatically as before. Yutaka smiled, her heart full of relief. She quickly grabbed the Catgut she had made earlier, and sewed up the Cardiac wall, and added a touch of sealant in case of breakage.

Yutaka finally sewed up the incision, and watched hopefully, waiting for Dawitsu to wake up, fully alive and kicking...

Patchouli had been observing the operation, more intently than the last time, as this time, the Doctor was far more involved. It was clear that Dawitsu, although once in love with Sakuya, operated impersonally when it came to it, and was the obvious professional at surgery. It was far more notable, therefore, that Yutaka, someone formerly only qualified to be Dawitsu's Nurse, had just finished open-heart surgery. Of course, Yutaka could take one more piece of pride that Patchouli was unaware of... being able to notice a ridiculously uncommon injury and deal with it accordingly. For trauma to induce such a strange set of setbacks was truly a one in a million chance...

Author's Notes: Long... long... so long...

Ha ha! Genius bonus! Those who do biology, you have the reward of ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDING THE OPERATION! Ha ha! Invoked Tropes for the win!

Seriously though, I'm sorry for the week-long Hiatus, but really, I did need a break. But I used that break to plan... THIS!

Alice attacked Dawitsu again. This time accidentally. But yeah. Alice, in the words of Knuckles (with Dawitsu as his proxy), I never thought you'd stoop that low. Rinnosuke, you man-hunk, you.

Grr.