A/N: Hey guys - thanks for your reviews. I'm not a 100% thrilled with this chapter, but I will be back with a vengeance. For now, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Twenty One: How absurd this all was

"I can't believe I'm wearing this," Lily grumbled as we made our way down the path leading to Hogsmeade. "Remind me again why I'm wearing this bloody sack?"

I bit my lip and Dorcas coughed.

"Erm, you want to make your boyfriend happy?" she suggested.

"You've got a few screws loose?" I added with a smirk.

Lily shrieked and pulled at the sleeves of the medieval witch garb that she'd been forced to wear to attend the themed convention at Madame Puddifoot's. She was meeting Archie there, and had decided to walk down with us so that we could provide her with some cover. She looked…quite awkward.

"I look such a muppet," she groaned, fiddling with the loose fabric around her bust. The robes were spectacularly loose and didn't show off a curve and it made Lily look borderline pregnant – the Medieval witches were clearly not fashionistas. The tent-like shape was a garish, moss green colour and it was paired with an odd, braided hairstyle that Archie had shown Lily in one of the Medieval Convention pamphlets. The result was authentic, but it made Lily Evans – among the top ten best-looking witches at Hogwarts – look utterly ridiculous. It was a truly incredible feat.

"It's very realistic at least," Dorcas said. "Looks just like the drawings in our History textbooks."

"Yeah, Lillian the Lump should be your name."

"Shut up Kate!" she sighed. "I wish I could have gone as a Medieval muggle – at least their clothing was sort of flattering. How can Archie like this?" She flapped her arms and the loose material made her resemble a rather over-weight bird.

She started laughing embarrassedly and Dorcas and I took that as our cue to erupt into the giggles we'd been holding back since the castle.

We'd managed to go mostly unseen because we'd left the school after the majority of Hogsmeade visitors and so, Lily breathed a sigh of relief when the crowd of weirdos in front of Madame Puddifoot's came into view. No one's costume looked as ghastly as Lily's, but they looked silly enough for her to disappear amongst and not be given a second look. She squinted to look through the crowd for Archie, but a group of boys stepped into our line of sight.

"Oh Godric."

"No, no, no, no," Lily muttered frantically as she tried to duck behind us and out of the Marauders' views. James looked like Christmas had come early and Remus, who was back to his old self, broke into a sly grin as Sirius and Peter began howling with laughter and pointing. Several passersby turned to look, and now Lily was on full display, blushing as red as her hair. She muttered several obscenities under her breath and stepped into view with a resigned look, waving her hands in front of her in a 'Yeah, yeah, bring it on' gesture. They obeyed with delight and Sirius walked forward to throw his arm around my shoulders and survey her up and down.

"So…" Remus said with a smile. "D'you have something to tell us, Lily?"

It started the laughter up again and even though Dorcas gave them a pleading look to get them to stop, it became very infectious and I let out an uncontrollable chuckle of my own.

Lily smacked me and I winced.

"Oi, shut up – she's dedicated," I said half-heartedly, breaking into another unintentional chortle.

"Evans…" James said, shaking his head.

"Not a bloody word Potter. I mean it – say something and die," she snapped, glaring at him.

He grinned. "I've never seen you look more beautiful."

And then Lily oddly burst into laughter too and clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle the sound. James looked surprised, but smirked.

"Like forget Slughorn's party – or that time you took a swim in the lake last year before OWLS – this is how I want to remember you for the rest of my life," he said and she shook her head still covering her mouth.

"Stop. Please stop," she said, her voice tight.

Sirius' eyebrow has cocked upwards and he let out a bark of disdainful mirth. "You let your boyfriend see you in that?"

"Sirius!" I said, elbowing him.

"He chose it!" Lily sighed.

"He chose what you were wearing?" James asked, his eyes wide. "And you let him?"

"It's a bloody Medieval convention isn't it?" she retorted. "I didn't know what to wear."

"Should've gone as a Medieval Muggle – at least they were sexy."

"I was going for authenticity – not sexiness!"

James laughed. "You know, I always thought you'd even look sexy in a potato sack, but now you've gone and proven me wrong."

"Leave her alone James," Dorcas said, her cheeks a little pink. She couldn't have loved all of his attention being focused on Lily, although surprisingly she wasn't letting it show – much.

"I know I look like a prat, but it didn't sound so bad when he explained the event to me," Lily sighed. "Oh, there he is. I better go. And tell him that this is the last time I go to one of these grotesque fancy dress things. Oh Merlin, what is he– oh, please don't look."

We turned around to face where she was looking and there was a moment of silence before my laugh cracked through the air wildly – loud and high-pitched. I couldn't breathe.

Because Lily was right – if she was something to laugh at – I was surprised my sides hadn't split open with hilarity at the sight of her boyfriend. He was shirtless and wearing a full-length skirt-like thing. It was as if he'd just chopped the top off his best dress robes and he had a long, matted wig on his head. Even the cold couldn't shake the proud look on his face. It was undeniably absurd, how pleased with himself, he looked.

When he saw us, however, he frowned and stopped in his tracks as we laughed at him and he waited, glaring at Lily. She shoved by us all and said under her breath, "Stop being so rude."

"End it with him Evans – truly, you deserve better," James laughed and she flipped him off before heading off to Archie and hurrying them inside with a large group of Convention attendees.

Once we'd settled at The Three Broomsticks and eaten lunch and ordered butterbeers, the conversation turned to Sirius' birthday, which took place on Boxing Day. James was having everyone over to his house to celebrate and spend the night camping out in his garden that apparently might as well have been the woods with how vast it was. It had been a tradition for the four boys since they had started at Hogwarts and this time Dorcas, Lily and I were invited too. Dorcas was beside herself with excitement, Lily wasn't sure she'd be able to come because Archie was supposed to be meeting her family then, and I was strangely nervous about the whole thing. I'd met James' parents the previous summer and they seemed very relaxed – that might mean looking the other way if Sirius wanted to share a tent with me like he'd suggested, and I was a bit terrified of that. Sure, we'd been alone in his bed several times – but there was something different about camping with your boyfriend as opposed to stealing a few kisses up in the school dormitory. I wondered if he'd considered what might happen. I wondered if he'd obsessed over it or thought very hard over what sort of underwear he might wear.

"I can't wait to be alone with you," he whispered quietly in my ear, pushing some hair behind my ear and I shivered. Yes. Yes, he was probably thinking what I was thinking. Although – probably not about his underwear selection.

"So Lily's going to be with Dodo Davies?" James asked, sipping his drink with a slight scowl. Dorcas' face fell a little and I shrugged.

"She said she would try and make it if he didn't want to spend the evening with her."

"Shame, my mum was looking forward to meeting her," he said quietly before his widened a little and he glanced at Dorcas. "You too, Dor."

I gave him a look but he ignored it. "She's not used to having so many girls around the place. You should have seen her face last summer when Sirius invited Kate over – I think she was ready to start planning their wedding. I've been a horrible disappointment bringing no girls home."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah right mate. Your mum thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice – she just wants you to settle down and find the right girl."

I smiled a bit at that and leaned in closer to Sirius, who absentmindedly squeezed me around the shoulders. It was nice to be considered 'the right girl,' even if it was only the opinion of James' mother and even though Sirius hadn't exactly said the words about me directly, it made me feel hopeful. Suddenly, he sat up straight and raised his arm to wave at someone.

Ah, of course – Lizzy. How silly of me to think I could be allowed to have a moment of an unwavering belief in Sirius' feelings about me.

"Liz!" Sirius called, waving her over. She was standing in the middle of the crowded pub all by herself looking a bit lost. Where was Friendly Dilys? When her eyes rested on us, she broke into a relieved smile and made her way over as James and Remus budged over and pulled a chair from another table for her to sit in. The Third Year they'd stolen it from glared, but just bit his lip and squatted beside his friends without complaint.

"Why's she all alone?" I asked, taking a swig from my bottle. Remus gave me a surprised look at then cocked an eyebrow at Sirius – I was starting to feel a bit uneasy. Why were none of the boys surprised that she was joining us?

"Oh, Dilys is ill so I invited her to hang out with us," Sirius said and my eyes widened.

Oh yes, thank you Sirius – it was so kind of you to inform your girlfriend that you would be bringing along the girl you almost kissed to our date. How thoughtful!

Remus exchanged a look with James, who shrugged and then the both of them busily got on with drinking their drinks.

"Didn't you tell Kate, Padfoot?" Peter asked and I gave him a nod of thanks. At least someone else thought it was odd that he'd kept the information from me.

"She doesn't care," Sirius shrugged and then glanced at me. "Do you?"

My eyebrows shot up and I swallowed, but then forced a smile. "Oh yeah – of course not."

"Remember the trust thing?" he said quietly into my ear and I nodded. The swoop in my stomach had nothing to do with his proximity this time – it was more irritation than anything. Yes, I didn't really care that she was tagging along – after all, it was a group outing more than a date. But Sirius was right, he was trying to be more honest and open and so, I should at least attempt not to be a prat to Lizzy. Maybe we could even be friends one of these days. A day, very, very far in the future. Maybe when we were thirty.

Dorcas gave me a sympathetic look and I started to fiddle with the wrapper on my drink, preparing myself. I was a friendly girl; I just had to act like Lizzy was my mate, not my competition. It wasn't that difficult – at least she'd stopped stuttering around me – that simplified things a bit. Gave me less reasons to roll my eyes at her wide-eyed innocent act.

She had finally made her way through the crowd and stood behind the empty chair looking flushed and out of breath.

"It's a zoo in here today, isn't it?"

"Not unusual," Sirius said. "How's your mate?"

Lizzy looked worried as she sat down. "Throwing up pretty noisily in the dormitory this morning – she sent me away so I wouldn't get ill too. I took her to the Hospital Wing before I came down, though."

"Pomfrey's the best – she'll take care of her," Remus said and Liz smiled.

"Yeah, I hope so."

"Unless she has the bunny flu – then she's doomed. Remus is in there once a month."

Sirius chuckled a little weirdly and rolled his eyes. "You're exaggerating, Kate."

"More to the point," Remus said, shaking his head. "Bunny flu doesn't exist."

"That's what you think," I said solemnly and Lizzy laughed.

"What are the symptoms?"

I tapped my chin and looked at Remus. "Well, if you're a bit scrawny and remarkably pale, and tired a lot, and your name is Remus John Lupin…then it's safe to assume that you have it."

"Thanks Kate, scrawny and remarkably pale - you really know how to make me blush," he said sarcastically.

"Oh no! I better go tell Pomfrey – Dilys is just a pseudonym!" Lizzy said, getting up from her seat.

Sirius laughed and I played along, reaching across the table to smack my hand down in front of her on the table dramatically. "Hurry! There's no time!"

"Nutters," Sirius said, reclining in the booth and smiling rather contentedly. Ah yeah, it must have been a picnic, watching his two girlfriends have a laugh together. Bloody prat.

Lizzy chuckled and turned to Remus. "Haven't they cured you yet?"

"Of catching Kate-sanity? No, as you can probably gather – it's quite infectious," he replied before muttering disbelievingly, "Bunny flu, she says."

"Don't worry Liz, I appreciate your acceptance of my madness. The rest of them keep fighting it," I said, leaning back against Sirius' arm and nodding to Dorcas. "Dorcas is particularly resistant."

She sighed. "If I ever let myself be seduced by your ridiculousness, do promise to avada me and make it quick."

The day was weird. Liz and I got on fine – she got pretty talkative when the boys started discussing Sirius' plans for his motorcycle and a few times, they unintentionally seemed to forget Dorcas and I were there. Liz even had comforting words for Remus, telling him that Emmeline had been expressing her regret over their short-lived romance all week. She made James laugh when she insisted that they send a spy to Slytherin Quidditch team practices and she made Peter's day by complimenting the haircut he'd apparently just gotten. Sirius seemed to just watch her with awe, sharing excited smiles with Dorcas and I, as if we were supposed to be as impressed with Lizzy's ability to assimilate with the group. It wasn't that – I actually was quite fascinated with how different and relaxed she seemed around us than she had a few months ago – but the problem was, I was jealous. And I wasn't jealous of her connection with Sirius this time – I was jealous of it all. How James and Peter didn't seem annoyed when she teased them, or how they seemed to think she was the nicest person they'd ever met. She was the shiny new toy and I was the old ball and chain and I absolutely hated it. That used to be me. Eventually, she even won Dorcas over because she was a fan of Celestina Warbeck and although Remus had rolled his eyes conspiratorially at that one, I couldn't let it lift me from my gloom. I forced the smiles and the laughter when the others did, but I don't think I spoke a full sentence for a whole hour.

Eventually, someone noticed. Of course, it was Remus. He leaned over to talk to me quietly while Sirius and James were telling Lizzy about the time the three of us had got detention with Prewett for dueling too over-enthusiastically with some of his Dark detectors. They seemed to have conveniently forgotten that I had been involved, and my expression of irritation must have been hard for him to miss.

"Want to ask Rosmerta if she'll put on The Ghouls?" Remus said and I nodded eagerly. Anything to get away.

"Where you going?" Sirius asked, as I stood up from the booth to join Remus.

"Going to ask if Rosmerta will play some good tunes," I explained.

"Not The Ghouls," he laughed. "Do you want everyone in here to commit multiple suicides?"

"Would you notice?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow and glancing at Lizzy as she listened to Peter's story. Sirius' brow furrowed and he turned away coldly without another word.

I ordered us a couple of shots of firewhisky before anything else. Rosmerta looked around for Hogwarts teachers before she nodded and poured the drinks. She was only a couple of years older than us, so we knew her from Hogwarts and the Marauders were obviously clear favourites of hers. I got along with her pretty well too because I had once spent a whole afternoon asking her all about her business – it was really valuable for my plans to open my own pub one day and Rosmerta was only too happy to help. She was lovely.

"Hide them though – I know you two aren't of age yet."

"We won't tell," Remus grinned before passing her the Ghouls record. "You couldn't put this on for us, could you? Kate's having a bit of a shocker of an afternoon."

"Is that the depressing band you like?" she replied. "Remus love, you know I adore you, but I've got to keep the customers happy and The Ghouls aren't exactly a wireless hit."

"Just the one song – no one's going to argue with you over one song. I won't let them," he insisted with a coaxing smile.

Rosmerta gave him a bit of a soppy smile and I found that my expression was quite similar. Funny that I'd never noticed that Remus could be charming – the kindness overwhelmed it, but the grin was knowing, and it was strangely attractive. I'd never really seen him that way before – maybe all of this experience with girls had actually made him more confident. Go Remus!

"Oh all right then," Rosmerta said, taking the record and going over to the gramophone to put it on with a silly expression on her face.

"Remus, you operator!" I said, elbowing him. "That was quite attractive."

His eyes widened and he frowned. "What?"

"You – persuading Rosmerta."

He laughed embarrassedly. "Shut up, Kate."

I smiled and downed my shot when The Ghouls started to play around the pub. It let the irritation ease a bit and I was glad to have a clear head once more. So, Lizzy was the center of attention for once – I couldn't really complain. I got more than my fair share of notice; I didn't have to be grumpy about it.

"Are you upset?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Not really."

"You know I'd tell you if I thought you had something to worry about with her," he said, nudging me as I gazed at Sirius. He had moved to Remus' place so he was closer to Lizzy, and I nodded doubtfully.

"They really are mates."

"Yeah. I guess I'll have him to myself on his birthday," I muttered. When I looked at Remus, he was grimacing.

"Didn't he tell you that she was coming?"

What! She was invited too? Why?

I didn't say anything because I was just letting the fury bubble slowly over my skin and into my veins. How dare he? What about the possible tent encounter? At least I had my answer now – he obviously hadn't given it another thought once he'd brought it up. I was so sick of this. This required drastic intervention – an ultimatum – something that would tell me once and for all if Sirius really had chosen me and wasn't just dangling me around and stringing her along at the same time. Was he in love with her? Was he even in love with me?

"They're just mates," Remus repeated, but I ignored him and stomped over to the table.

"Sirius – I need a word."

He looked up and seemed to catch on immediately. The others fell silent and hung their heads, looking anywhere but at me. Dorcas twisted her eyebrows together questioningly, but I shook my head. He gave a heavy sigh, but got up and followed me out of the pub without protest.

"Well?" he asked when we were out on the pub's porch. A group shoved past us and the door swung open again to reveal our mates leaning away from the table. They were all watching interestedly until Remus muttered something and they looked away in unison. Only Lizzy's eyes lingered and the blood boiled a little hotter. When the door shut, Sirius sighed and leaned against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Is this about The Ghouls suicide comment?"

My mouth fell open at his stupidity and I glared at him.

"You invited Lizzy to our date!" I snapped quietly, feeling the fury bubble through me. It increased tenfold when he chuckled humorlessly.

"Call this a date? You, me and four of our friends?"

"It started out that way!" I said. "I didn't think you'd invite your other girlfriend along!"

He moved away from me and his eyes became that cold grey that I so disliked. He wasn't going to roll his eyes at this one.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Me?" I barked back angrily.

"I thought you were getting along – becoming friends!" He threw his hands up and paced in front of me as I laughed bitterly.

"Oh yeah, I loved watching you stare at her so devotedly – it really turned me on," I shot back cuttingly. He looked incredulous, and I braced myself for the yelling.

"How many times do I have to say it before you get it through your thick head?" he said furiously. "She's my mate – just my mate. Dilys is ill and she had no one to spend the day with. And since she's coming to my birthday, I thought it would be cool if she hung out with us beforehand so it wasn't awkward."

"You are a lunatic!" I exclaimed. "When have you ever shown so much concern about someone other than your lads? When have you even showed this much interest in me? Don't you bloody see it?"

"See what?"

"That you're in love with her!"

He laughed mockingly. "Actually, I'm with you in case you forgot."

"This isn't fair, Sirius," I said shaking my head. "Not to me or to her."

He stared at me for a long while and I clenched my fists so they would stop shaking. What the hell was going through his head? How could he not see how absurd this all was – why was he catering to her every whim and still trying to convince me that he didn't feel anything for her? I didn't understand him at all.

"You know what's not fair," he said quietly. "That you give me a hard time about being mates with her, when our friendship is no different to yours with Remus. And he's one of my best mates."

I stepped away and stumbled on the steps.

"It is completely different! Completely."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm done with this crap. I take a lot of shit from you Kate – but I'm drawing the line. She is my friend and you are my girlfriend and it would be really bloody nice if I didn't have to fight for that every second. It is so boring."

My eyes started to water and I looked away so he wouldn't see. I took a few calming breaths and tried to figure out what to do. He didn't give me enough time to think though, because he had moved forward and pulled me to him.

"Hey, don't cry," he said apologetically, wiping away the moisture on my cheeks. "I hate it when you cry."

I just whimpered back and let more tears fall and he sighed laboriously.

"Can't you just be okay with this?"

I bit my lip and made another unintelligible sound.

"This was supposed to be easy," he muttered, his face buried in my hair. "You and me were supposed to be fun and carefree. You were never the jealous type – what happened?"

The cry that came from my mouth was embarrassingly loud and pained and he squeezed me tightly.

"Don't make it difficult, please Kate."

He moved away and wiped away my tears again. "Please?"

I stared at his eyes – taking in how tired they looked. His stance was as defeated as mine – we were drowning and couldn't let go. It was time to prepare myself for the inevitable. But why couldn't I form the words? Why couldn't I just cut him loose, so he would be free to figure out his feelings for her? Well the answer was obvious – regardless of how he acted, he continued to insist that it was me. Me, who made sense; Me, who he wanted. Maybe it was because Lizzy never asked him to choose – maybe it was because he was lazy like me and the thought of trying to start up a whole new relationship was exhausting. And maybe it was because, for so long, I had told myself that I was lucky that Sirius Black wanted me. No matter how miserable we made each other sometimes, I still couldn't shake off the feeling that I wouldn't get lucky like this again.

When you get the most popular, desired boy in school, you fight to keep him – right? You keep fighting even if the fight didn't seem worth it, because it had to be worth it. I needed it to be worth it.

"Okay," I said, drying my face and giving him a small nod.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Okay?"

"Okay – I won't make it difficult."

He stepped back and appraised my expression. "Is this another test? Are you actually breaking up with me and making it sound like we're fine?"

I chuckled and patted his cheek tiredly. "No, we're not breaking up. You're not off that hook yet."

A/N: You can probably tell that Sirius/Kate will be coming to an end pretty soon and although Lizzy is a part of it all, she's not the reason for their breakup, although it may seem that way now. Some more things will happen before Remus/Kate starts up, but it will come to pass very soon. Now I'm off on my holiday on Friday, so no more updates until August - but come back around the 5th and hopefully I will have something new up. Thank you all so much for reading and your patience - see you in a few weeks!