Chapter 20 – Thinking of the End

They never did figure out if they were to do anything for Tom's birthday. Hermione could not think of anything, and neither could anyone else. They kind of gave up on that and went back to doing nothing. Hermione hadn't left the dorm all day; not for breakfast or lunch. She wanted to see Tom, but she didn't want to go anywhere.

"So… what did you try telling Dippet?" Rebecca asked, a little afraid of the answer. Who knew what Naomi did?

Rebecca and Naomi sat on Naomi's messy blue bed. The scene was eerily like the very morning, except Hermione was missing in action. She was looking at herself in the mirror and thinking, sitting on her own bed. Suddenly she missed the maroon sheets of the Gryffindor common room. If only she could see them again, maybe it would make her feel a little better…

Why had she come here again? She asked herself this everyday. Some days it was so hard to remember that she had to go up to the room of requirement and stare at the potion she was making to get back. But back to where? Home? This was her home. It felt like that, anyway. There was something that seemed so… wrong about returning to 1996.

Harry. The name ran shivers up and down her spine. Her round glasses wearing, messy black hair-guilty best friend. He was the Boy Who Lived; the boy with the infamous scar.

He was the reason; to help him was the goal. And what had she done? Absolutely nothing! She had not done anything to help him, anyway. She hated thinking about it. It all made her feel very selfish and annoying because she tended to her unknown needs for love. And she felt annoying because… well, selfishness was annoying.

"Well," Naomi began. She was still crying quite a bit. Hermione didn't blame her. She was scared, that's all. "I told him that it was all me, you know? That I made Simon like me and that he was just my object of lust."

Rebecca attempted to stifle a giggle that begged to be let free. Hermione wished she could laugh, too.

She sounded pathetic…

Hermione was not listening to Naomi and Rebecca, though. Not really, anyway. She heard their words, but nothing was registering as anything she could understand.

She had to go back. She knew it. She knew it.

She stared at herself in the mirror. Who are you? she asked herself. She hardly recognized herself anymore, with her new hair and her new way of moving. Wondering if the real Hermione would have done this, she tightened her grasp on the mirror. What was she now… an Imposter-Hermione?

"He didn't believe me. He said," Naomi dropped her voice, making it sound as deep as Dippet's, "'Miss Lucas, Professor Pardie has had his eye on you for many years.' Then he said that thing about me being a good actress." Naomi scoffed. "You know, I could seduce him. Then he'd forget everything and be totally enamored with me."

But how could she go back now? She had too much here. She had so many friends here.

She had Tom here.

Tom.

Leaving him would feel like suicide, she thought. Her eyes began to water just at the thought of it.

"Don't you dare!" Rebecca laughed. "Well, that's sweet," said Rebecca. "What Dippet said about Pardie, I mean. You have to admit that."

Hermione wanted to stop thinking about it. But she knew she had to think about it. Staying here was not an option. Changing the future was not an option. Loving Lord Voldemort was not an option…

One tear fell. Hermione could feel her face getting red.

"Isn't that sweet, Jane?" asked Rebecca. Both Rebecca and Naomi were looking at Hermione's red face with wonder written on their faces. "Jane?"

Hermione looked up. "Very," she let a laugh out and wiped a tear away. Stop it, she told herself. But tears just kept falling.

"Jane? Are you okay?" Naomi asked, her eyes still wet from tears, but her face as pale as it always was.

"It's just so sad," Hermione started lying. "The thing with you and Pardie, I mean…"

"Oh honey," Naomi began coaxing. "Don't cry on my account. I got myself into this mess."

There was a knock at the door, and who ever it was just opened it without anyone saying that she could come in. "Hey, its dinnertime. Are you girls going to come out of your room at all today?"

Hermione did not see who it was – her eyes were too blurry by this time.

"Oh," the girl said. "I'm sorry." She must have seen the crying faces. "I'll just… I'll just go." With that, she shut the door. Poor girl; just trying to do a good deed and entered into something she would never know the details of.

"Serves her right," started Rebecca. "I hate when people just walk into our dormitory like it's theirs." She got up and walked over to Hermione. "Maybe you need some food. I think we could all use something to eat, since we skipped breakfast and all." Hermione never agreed with Rebecca more.

"Right," said Naomi. "But let me put some makeup on and brush my hair. I look like a total wreck."

"Naomi, you wouldn't look 'like a wreck' if you got trampled on by a hippogriff," said Hermione. This only earned a look from Naomi as if to say, 'Are you crazy?' But Naomi didn't say anything. Hermione knew that not-so-deep down inside, Naomi was agreeing with her.

Silently, Hermione promised herself that she would return home once the potion was finito. It was only then when she realized that left her with only one week of bliss.

……………………

They sat at the Slytherin table again for old-time's sake. Hermione watched as Thorvald dared a group of first years to flirt with Rosalie, just to get them to leave the table. The kids were sheepish about it, but they thought Thorvald Malfoy would like them if they did it. And away they went, bouncing to the Gryffindor table.

"You know," Hermione said facing Thor, who was sitting beside her, "you shouldn't have done that to the poor boys. You could damage their self-esteem forever."

Thor threw his blond head back and laughed. "Oh, Jane," he draped his arm around her shoulder and leaning his head toward hers. "It's so fun, though. You should give it a try sometime."

Tom sat across from Hermione. Today he didn't have Nagini with him. He was reading a book, so he didn't see Thorvald's arm around Hermione. Hermione wondered what he would do if he saw them like that.

"You have a sick sense of humor," she told him in a disgusted voice. She felt like she was talking to Draco Malfoy himself. Draco was always hanging all over Pansy Parkinson, and they were just friends, right?

"You don't mean that," said Thorvald, removing his arm so he could continue eating.

Hermione looked at Tom now. She watched his eyes move across the page. Suddenly he looked up at her. He could probably feel her gaze.

He did not say a word, though she wished and wished that he would. All he did was raise an eyebrow. It was like they were back where they started…

"Hi."

"Hello, Jane." He looked back at his book.

"How are things…?" It felt awkward to ask him that. How are your evil plans unfolding?

Tom marked his spot and put the book down. "Everything's just fine," he said. He picked up an apple and took a bite into it. Suddenly Hermione hated seeing him eat or hearing him talk. It made him that much more real. "Konnie is back, I see. He doesn't glare at me anymore. I wonder why…"

Hermione's face reddened. Could Konstantine not look at Tom after kissing her? Or had he lost interest in her completely? Hermione did not think it was the latter.

Just to get a reaction, just to spice things up a bit, just because she thought that she would die if she did not, she said, "He kissed me the night of his party."

Tom looked at her for a moment. A long moment. He tensed up and began fingering his knife. "Why would he do a silly thing like that?"

Hermione shrugged. She wished she did not look so guilty. She did not want him to think that she liked it, or anything. She just wanted a reaction. Then again, what if Tom was so mad that he killed Konstantine? That certainly would change time. "I told him not to." She sounded scared.

Tom stood up.

Immediately, Hermione stood up too.

He was walking towards the Gryffindor table, where Konstantine sat. She walked quickly, not wanting to draw any attention to herself. But Tom's strides were quicker than hers. Thankfully, she reached him only a few feet away from Konstantine.

"Don't do what ever you're thinking about doing," she whispered, grabbing his wrists tightly.

Tom ignored her, but didn't try to break away from her grasp. "Lebedev!" he shouted over Hermione. Everyone in the Great Hall looked at them now. So much for not wanting to draw attention…

"Tom," Hermione pleaded. Professor Slughorn was walking their way. "Please don't–"

"What did you think I'd do, Jane?" he practically yelled. "Just ignore it? He had no right."

"Riddle, do not yell at her," Konnie said, standing up now.

"I'm not yelling, Konstantine!" he yelled back, pronouncing Konnie's name with all of the syllables easily recognized. He sounded like a crazy person, but Hermione doubted anyone would treat him any differently than they normally did. Everyone would still fear him.

"Boys?" said Professor Slughorn. "And Jane," he added with a smile. "Why don't we settle this outside, and let everyone eat in peace?" He placed a hand on Tom's shoulder, but Tom jerked it off and broke free of Hermione's grasp.

Tom stormed out of the Great Hall, followed by Hermione, Konnie, and Slughorn. Wondering eyes of all of the students at Hogwarts watched them intently.

As soon at the door to the Great Hall shut, Slughorn said, "Now, what is this mess?"

No one said anything. They could not really explain it to a teacher, could they? Tom was overreacting, right?

"Well, I'll leave you to it, then. Keep your wands out of your hands, or you'll have detention until next year," said Slughorn. With that, he walked through the Great Hall doors, and assumingly back to his seat with the other teachers.

"Riddle, what's your problem?" Konnie started. Hermione wanted to shove her face in a book, ashamed of telling Tom when she should not have.

Tom did not answer. Quicker than Hermione could imagine, he drew out his wand, shoved Konnie against the stony wall and held his wand to Konnie's throat. "Do you know what I'm capable of Konnie?" Tom whispered in a murderous manner.

"Tom, stop this," Hermione said. She tried to keep her voice steady, but she knew what he was capable of. She was not sure that Konnie did.

Tom only glanced at her with a wicked smile playing on his face. "I could rip you to shreds with just a flick of my wand," he said to Konnie.

Konnie did not believe him, apparently. "What are you playing at, Riddle?" He shoved Tom away from him with a bodily strength that Tom did not have. "You think you're so high and mighty? You're just like everyone else." Konnie took out his wand. "I'll humor you. Let's duel."

"No!" Hermione ordered. She had to do something to make them stop, but what?

The boys took their places. They did not bow. Konnie threw the first spell. "Tarantallegra!" The spell sent Tom's feet dancing uncontrollably.

Though flailing, Tom did his spell unfazed. "Cruc—"

"Avis!" shouted Hermione as quickly as possible, sending a flock of birds headed for Tom. They distracted him and knocked him over. Konnie looked shocked and scared. "Finite Incantatam. Tom Marvolo Riddle, I cannot believe you were about to do that!" Hermione yelled. It was a lie – she knew he would do something like that, which is why she knew dueling was a bad idea.

"I'll have you expelled for that, Riddle," Konnie was saying as he slowly retreated his way back into the Great Hall, wand still drawn. He kept his eyes on Tom, and didn't bother to look at Hermione. Tom let him go without a word, glaring at him still.

The humungous Great Hall door shut, and Tom and Hermione were alone. Tom pointed his wand at a stone, "Wingardium Leviosa," he said and raised it slightly off of the ground, and dropped it quickly. "Now he can't prove anything." Tom smirked and grabbed Hermione's hand. "Let's go. I'm not in the mood to deal with Dippet." He started walking, but she stopped him.

"Where will we go?" she asked breathlessly. There wasn't anywhere that they could go to actually get away from Dippet. Tom couldn't hide out in his common room; that would be the first place Dippet looked. He couldn't hide in a stall in the boys' bathroom like a sissy. No, he couldn't.

Shouldn't he be mad at her, or something? Shouldn't he be asking her how she knew his middle name?

"Anywhere," he said. "Hogsmeade, the bathroom where Myrtle died, anywhere." He took her towards the front door. "You don't have to come with me," he said. "But I think you should." He opened the door and waited.

Hermione wondered if duels made him stupid. Of course she was going to go with him. It was kind of like that song. Ain't no mountain high, and no valley low, and no river wide enough, baby… You know the rest. She linked her arm with his, "Let's go."

He smiled a genuine smile. It made Hermione feel a bit like Jello. With that, they walked out into the cold of the winter's night, without jackets or proper footwear. If they didn't get detention for being out so late, or Tom didn't get expelled for good, then they might freeze to death and be found by a first year with pigtails wandering to her next class.

"Aren't you mad at me?" she asked after getting over how cold her legs felt with only her school robes to cover them. "For stopping you, I mean." She almost wanted him to be. Then, leaving wouldn't be so bad for him, assuming he'd be sad about it.

"I am angry with you," he confessed. "But, I suppose you are just my better half." He brought her warm hand to his now-cold lips and kissed it. "Let's go to that empty hut by the forest. It has a fireplace in there."

The idea of getting warm motivated Hermione. The idea of getting warm with Tom motivated her even more. They marched through the heavy snow, which was making Hermione's feet numb with cold. It seemed like forever, but they finally reached the future Hagrid's Hut. The door was unlocked, as usual, and the room was dark. The blankets that they had used last Halloween were still there, probably just as cold as the wooden floor. All the same, Hermione was thankful to have them for they wouldn't stay cold for too long.

"You know, if you start a fire," she said, shivering and teeth chattering, "they will know we're in here. I bet they even heard the door shut."

Tom scoffed. "That could have been any door in the whole castle. And I don't think they're smart enough to look outdoors, anyway," he smiled and piled wood into the fireplace one by one. When finished, he took out his wand and said, "Incendio." A fire began, and the room brightened. Hermione shuffled closer to it and melted into it.

Hermione, when satisfied with the fire, leaned against the wall, piled blankets on top of her, and pulled off her shoes. Tom pulled his shoes off, too, and sat down beside her. He pulled her close to him so they could both get warm. His frosty hand ran through her short hair and rested on her head. He said it felt warm, like his chest was to her face.

"Why did you bring it up, anyway?" Tom said. He was talking about Konstantine kissing her. At first, she didn't know how to answer him. She didn't want to say why. He wouldn't like her reasons.

She looked up at him. "I guess I thought you had a right to know." It was the truth, too.

Tom didn't say anything. He just sat there, holding her, and looking at her. His head inched closer confidently. She was happy that he didn't look afraid to kiss her. But she was afraid that kissing might hurt her too much. She almost wanted to turn away.

But the opportunity was too good to pass up. How many times in your life have you kissed Tom Riddle? Maybe a few times in your dreams, but never in real life. Not like what she was about to do when she moved closer, too. Not like when she actually pressed her warm lips to his icy ones. It was different than their first kiss, which was sudden and surprising. This was romantic and mutually agreed on.

She really did feel in love with him then, and she wouldn't allow herself to think of leaving. Not now. Not when the world felt like the Garden of Eden. It would be like when, in the Bible, sin entered the word, and everything kind of crashed down.

The kiss didn't feel like it lasted long, but it wasn't quick. It was savory and filled with lingering. It was draining and exhilarating at the same time. It was perfect.

Hermione fell asleep that way, in his arms, her head against his chest. He didn't seem to mind it one bit, which made her feel blissful. In the little hut, she felt like they were the only two people there. The last physical thing she felt before she went to sleep besides the fabric of his shirt against her skin was a soft peck on the forehead.

When Hermione woke up, it was light outside, and very cold. Tom was not where she expected him to be. The fire was out, and the door was open. She got up, and looked out the door. Tom stood out there, talking to Dippet. They were smiling, and laughing like the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

"I should have known you wouldn't have done anything like that, my boy," said Dippet. He saw Hermione, "Ah! Miss Gra – Rowley! How is your school year going, my dear?"

"Just fine, Headmaster," she answered. She wondered how messy her hair looked and what was running through the Headmasters mind. Shouldn't he be thinking they had sex or something?

"Glad to hear it," he said. "You two best go clear everything up with your friends. I'm afraid Mr. Lebedev may have made them believe that you have done something terrible. Go eat, breakfast is served."

They did as he said without a word. Hermione was not hungry though. There was one dreadful thing that kept popping up in her mind like an annoying alarm clock:

Six more days.

AN- I thought that this would be a nice surprise for you all. I hoped you liked it. Too bad this story really has to come to an end and all. I'll probably post near Christmas when I get off of school. Please review