Hey! Sorry for the delay… work is still taking a lot of time. But here we go, at least it didn't take that long. Anyway,
Enjoy!
M.
Chapter 21 A kiss and the (almost) End of the World.
"Narim," Daniel whispered to Sam, once he was back in the room.
After such a touchy situation, almost all of their friends excused themselves to go to the washroom, for water, for air… they both saw it clearly for what it was, a time to get themselves together, and they were grateful because they were in desperate need of getting themselves together too.
So when Daniel softly whispered the name to her, she was ready to tackle the subject, and so was Jack.
"What's with that guy?" Jack asked dismissively, but with an eyebrow raised and protectively standing a whisper behind Sam.
"Ah… he was … you know… and …you and him… you expended a lot of time together… and …" Somehow the lack of words, made both Daniel and Sam blush. Jack only clenched his jaw.
"What did he ask now?" Hammond asked joining the room again and noticing the silence that took the room.
"Oh! General, you were the last one MIA here," Jack smiled, "just so you know, Daniel whispered 'Narim' to Sam, I think he is trying to make me jealous," he concluded.
"Narim?" Hammond asked confused.
"Yup, that whitey, brown haired, tallish, Tollan guy that drooled around base following Sam like a lost puppy. You know, the one alien who took our recently adopted and quite mischievous cat…he had soulful brown eyes too," he joked looking at Sam, whom just blushed some more.
"Oh, yes, I remember the Tollans," Hammond gave Sam a knowing look, "I ordered Sam to talk with the mentioned alien. He seemed a little…. enamored with her"
"A little?" Janet snorted.
"Oh come on…" Sam grunted.
"We talked about Kynthia…" Jack shrugged pulling her in a loose embrace from behind
"Yeah, yeah," she huffed and with Jack laugh filling her ears and the rumble of his body against her back, the screens begun to shine.
1998
He looked at her from his position by the door of their en suite, she was already in bed and waiting for him, apparently reading a book. However, knowing her for so long, he knew there was something going on in that head of hers, that she hadn't turned a single page in the last 5 minutes helped, and he thought whatever was going on in that mind of hers, probably related with the exchange he had earlier with Daniel.
'I kind of interrupted Sam and Narim' Daniel told him, making him frown.
'Were they talking way above my head as usual?'
'They were kissing,' Daniel stated and Jack clenched his jaw. But concealed all the flames of jealousy under a cold mask. If Daniel noticed his slip, he didn't say. Not that he actually said anything else.
He probably did noticed, Jack thought to himself. Sam and he, they both knew Teal'c and Daniel enough to know they were aware of the not too hidden feelings between them.
She had been reading the same page for too long. She noticed she wasn't actually reading the darn page the moment she felt him staring at her. She tried first to concentrate and read it, but his eyes on her made that an impossible feat, she looked up and found him staring at her without seeing her, she denied with her head and tried to get back at her book. Seconds later, she sighed and closed her book annoyed with herself.
The sigh appeared to have brought him back to the moment and she looked at him with a knowing smile, he smiled sheepishly back and blushed a little at being caught staring. But he didn't say a thing, he only walked to his side and slid under the sheets, while she turned off her lamp and rolled over to his side, claiming her usual sleeping place, which still was, halfway on top of his body. He smiled, and caressed her back with one hand and turned his lamp off with the other, knowing the darkness and what it always did to them.
She smiled against his chest, following his line of thought. The darkness had always given them the confidence in themselves they needed to talk about anything and everything and jump whatever insurmountable cliff they've encountered so far.
They normally didn't need the dark to talk. They both knew, whatever the cliff name was, they could talk about it in the broad light of the day. However, after years of doing it that way, there still was something comforting about confronting some situations embraced to each other and completely surrounded in the dark.
It suited them.
Sam sighed for the umpteen time that night and he felt her lashes fluttering in his chest. The universal sign for I don't know how to start. He smiled, sometimes things never changed. For Sam, it always took some time to find the starting point of a thread she wanted to untangle, but he already had an inkling of where this was coming from, and he decided to help.
"So, Narim, huh?" She sighed, of course he knew.
"Nothing happened," she tried and he waited, if she was still fighting her conscience there was nothing he could do more than wait. She chewed her lower lip.
"He kissed me..." She said after forever, and felt him hold his breath, ready to take the blow she was about to land. "And I, kind of, kissed him too"
Even if he didn't say anything, she felt the change, his body tensed immediately and the air surrounding them got charged with a thick wave of jealousy. She took some time to think how to trade these waters and allowing him some time to say what he wanted to say. Nothing came out of him, proving her he knew about it and she just confirmed it to be truth.
"Daniel told you, didn't he?" she asked, knowing it wouldn't be any other way.
"Yes. He told me he went into the room while you were kissing. I .. I didn't want to believe him," he clenched and unclenched his jaws several times.
She looked up and seeing him doing so, she moved across him to turn on his bedside lamp and sat in bed, her eyes locked on his. He raised an eyebrow as response.
"I have nothing to hide, Jack and it's not what you are thinking," she affirmed confidently, noticing what was really bothering him. It wasn't so much the kiss, but the chance of losing her to someone he couldn't compete with. Someone who could snatch her with words he was unable to use.
"Sam, I was there! Not when he... you ... kissed. But I saw him, his eyes shone when he looked at you, and people talks, you know? More than you told me... they commented on how cute couple you were and how awesomely romantic he was, how he followed you like a lost puppy with those 'soulful brown eyes' and how utterly innocent you looked when blushing and," she placed a finger over his lips to stop him.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't." he glared at her, "don't try to soften it... just tell me, talk to me dammit!" he lost it and she nodded several times not able to look at him for a moment, then he softly raised her face and his eyes searched hers.
"He, told me on the first day that I was like an angel. We connected at some scientific level. Or that was what I thought." she whispered conflicted.
"Come on, Sam, even you had to be able to notice him trying to flirt with you or whatever they call it"
"I did... and I have to say I took some advantages of it. He was willing to keep talking and we needed all the intel we could get."
"I know that! And believe it or not, I understand it, you were ordered to do it and it's not like you could say 'I can't do it, I'm married. It doesn't make it any easier tough'"
She nodded, she knew he was aware of her orders, he wasn't against taking advantage of the infatuation either. He simply didn't like it was her doing the flirt back nor that she looked as infatuated as the alien.
"Why did you give him our cat?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know what really transpired for that kiss to happen and giving her an out to get her bearings. She snorted
"You hated the poor thing"
"But you loved it... and I was willing to keep him," he pointed and she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. They both knew he wasn't ready for any other kind of kiss, yet.
"And I love you for that. However, we both know keeping it would be a mistake. Poor Schrodinger would end up back at square one with us. Yes, we found, cleaned, feed him... we managed to do so for two weeks already, but how long would we be able to do it? Nah, he is better off at the Nox's homeworld."
"Even if you don't know for sure there's such a thing as cat food in there?"
"Oh crap! I haven't even thought about it!" She blanched a little.
"I'm pretty sure Lya will be able to provide some sort of sustenance for him, " Jack said softly caressing her cheek.
"Sustenance? Somehow it doesn't sound like a good thing," she grimaced.
"Yeah, well, I don't think they can actually walk into a store and get cat chow," he joked. She chuckled lightly, then she sobered up.
"He came up, out of nowhere earlier today, and he told me he was sad to leave me behind"
"With many more words, I presume," he grunted making her smile
"Exactly, but words are just that and we both know it"
"There's when he kissed you?" She shook her head
"No, he... they have this recorder, he told me, he showed it to me. Just like we record music and videos, they can record feelings. He told me he recorded his feelings on our last conversation and then he shared them with me." She closed her eyes, trying to forget the sensation of someone else feelings coursing through her body, she opened her eyes and a tear or two ran freely. "I... played the thing, and he asked me to close my eyes and allow his feelings to run on my body," she sniffled, and searched his eyes. "I knew he was flirting with me before but when his feelings took over mine, I found myself overwhelmed with the intensity, he felt so deeply. It actually reminded me of how I feel for you," He nodded and waited her to continue to talk.
"Then he told me they had a custom which showed more than the recording and he kissed me. It was more like a lips caress than a real kiss and it lasted a second. I smiled and told him we had such custom too... I don't know why I actually did it... but seconds later I was moving forward and pressing his lips with mine and Daniel went in and it dawned to me, what I just did," she was now crying and he opened his arms and she flung into his chest. "I'm sorry, Jack, I'm so sorry"
"Did you..." he tried, "have any doubts? About us, I mean?" he asked nervously. She shook her head against his chest and recoiled to look at him in the eyes.
"Never, Jack." He harrumphed. "Listen to me, and listen to me right," she said, once again putting enough space between them to be able to look at him.
"I was nor am infatuated with Narim, I know now he was in love with me, before the recording I believed he talked to me like someone infatuated would, however, to be able to look the part, you know, bright eyes and the blushing of the rumors, I had to think about you, about your eyes and your words, his words might be fancier and he might be able to follow my technobabble better than you, but he wasn't you. I love how you pretend not to understand me, how you push my buttons, how you make me be a better person, I love who I became by being with you. I love you, Jack. I fell in love with you a long time ago and since, I walked with you, unable to have you, knowing you couldn't be with me in the way I wanted, I couldn't be more than 'just a friend'. Until one day, when somehow I finally had you, and you choose to have me as I always wanted. And after all that we went through, I'm not letting you go, unless you ask me to," she smiled and he denied that foolish concept with his head, unable to find the words in his mind. "Someday, maybe, I will believe in fate or destiny, or figure out how karma works, but right now, Jack; I believe we do the things we'd choose to, and even if I have the chance to redo everything... I'd choose you. You are the one for me…always."
"Always, Sam," he said cleaning her face of the tears her confession brought. They looked at each other for a while, letting the words sink in.
"I think I was overwhelmed by his feelings," she whispered later, "You know? He wanted so much to kiss me and hold me... and I was feeling his need. I think that's what happened because I can't understand it in any other way," she cried and he saw her. He saw how conflicted and sorry she was. It was painful to see how utterly confused, she felt. He surged forward and claimed her lips until air was a necessity, trying with all his might to erase that feeling of her eyes.
"Jack," she gasped when they parted
"Sam..." he panted in response.
"Are you sure?" she questioned his actions, caressing softly his face.
"I've read once that, if you do something quickly enough, you might be able to replace a memory," he explained mischievously.
"But a long time has passed"
"I don't care… I just don't want you remembering anything but the taste of my lips in yours," he said in not so fancy words, but this time, she was jumping to take her chance with her one and only, because of her feelings taking over her body.
Present
O'Neill Residence
Someone cleared his throat, but probably what brought them back was the not so subtle ball hitting Jack's head. The couple blushed profusely.
"I'm sorry," they both said at once, then they exchanged a quick glance and a sweet smile.
"There are memories in which we tend to get lost," Jack added, scratching the back of his head.
"Anyway, we talked about Narim, and the kiss. We also took a couple of therapy sessions, but it's complicated to find solace in such kind of thing when you can barely get something useful from advices given under false premises and vague notions of the issue at hand."
"It was worse with Jolinar memories, but that's another can of worms," O'neill dismissed quickly.
"Every mission so far, was a test for our relationship, some more than others. However, we remain together. Of course, at that moment, getting stuck in Antarctica and almost dying, again, was really helpful towards finding our ground."
"According to your mission report, you noticed he was getting worse when he started to talk about his ex wife." Hammond provided.
"Well, it helped. Jack hadn't talked about her in a long while and I couldn't exactly tell you, he said goodbye to me and he apologized to leave me alone to take care of Aidan then he started to talk about Sarah."
"Nor I could tell you, the things we talked about. I think it was one of the few times where we let our relationship out. Because there wasn't anyone else who could compromise our status," Jack said. "However, next time I will gladly talk in front of a nice and toasty fire than over a white freezer God only knows where"
"Ok, so Tollans, then Antartica …and then I came across you on that parallel dimension…."
1999
SGC Infirmary
"No! It wasn't a vision, or a dream, or a hallucination. It was...real. I know this is hard for you guys to believe... but the entire time you thought I had disappeared on P3R- 233... I was experiencing an alternate reality."
"And you were there and you were there, and there's no place like home." Jack added, not even questioning about the alternative reality existence.
"As a matter of fact, you were there!"
"Daniel, it's not that we don't believe you..."
"So you do?"
"No! It's just that..."
"...we don't believe you."
"Jack, this is very important."
"Daniel, when you were in this alternate reality, were there differences?"
"Yes, uh...Teal'c was leading the attack on Earth, I wasn't part of the program. You and Jack were engaged to be married."
"Excuse me?" Jack raised his head
"What?" Sam surprised herself asking.
They glanced at each other surprised with that outcome, but contrary to what someone else could believe they weren't surprised to be 'engaged in what could be another reality but that they somehow were free to tell people.
"OK, uh, even if you did actually experience this alternate reality..." They both frowned at that, "doesn't the very fact that there were differences means we won't face the same fate?" she finished focusing on the issue and at the same time taking the subject of their 'engagement' out of the conversation. She would gladly discuss it later, when there weren't any infirmary personnel who were known for spreading rumors too quickly.
"Yes, but the defining event- the death of Ra- took place in both worlds."
"An attack of retribution?" Teal'c asked.
"Yes! And the same thing is gonna happen here unless we stop it."
"All right, wait a minute, let me get something straight here…." Jack said, trying to hide a smile, "Engaged?"
"It is theoretically possible." Sam answered somewhat annoyed.
"It's against regulations." He stated as if they didn't already know about it.
"I'm talking physics," she pointed out belatedly adding "sir. The whole concept of alternate realities, entire alternate universes, was predicted by Albert Einstein a long time ago..."
"I thought you might all be here. How's our boy?" General Hammond asked entering the infirmary.
"He's gonna be just fine, General." Sam answered, then she saw Samuels in his back, "Major Samuels."
"That's Lieutenant Colonel Samuels now, Captain." Samuels bragged and Jack tightened his jaw bothered by the difference.
"I beg your pardon, sir. Congratulations." Sam said, glancing quickly to her husband, hoping he wouldn't say anything which could give them away.
"Thank you." Samuels answered with a cynical smile.
"You'll always be Sparky to me." Jack added with a smirk, just to annoy Samuels, since the guy liked too much to brag his career advances on Sam.
Present
"What's your point? A part of reminding me how much I hate Samuels and how stupid was he was promoted and Sam wasn't." He often thought he had a crush on Sam and was like one of those preschoolers go pushed the girl they liked.
"You were engaged! I mean, we should have seen it by then"
"It was a close dimension…" Jack justified.
"There is a possibility that you already had Aidan"
"Yes, and there was a possibility he wasn't there yet. Many things could have been different too, for once, me not being in the military, which could have happened after the academy, or maybe I didn't go at all. And being 'just' engaged, has its own set of variations, for example, if I wasn't in the military then I probably didn't end up in that mission which left us to marry under the classified mark. We might just meet or reacquainted with each other when we both ended up at the Stargate command."
"Yup, I agree… it shouldn't count"
"And if it makes you rest assured, Daniel… Aidan is part of the Alpha list."
"When time came here he is to be sent to the Alpha site… that's an excellent backup plan! How on Earth did you managed that?"
"Jack's sister is on the Alpha list"
"And as we told you, we do have measures in place to keep him safe"
"Your sister is one of them"
"Yup"
"Ok, that does explain part of it but… you had Aidan, you are married and still you both choose to go on a suicidal mission on the spur of the moment?"
"You mean this?"
1999
"Hammond's given up. They'll bury the gate day after tomorrow." Jack said once he came down the stairs and into the now covered command center.
"Then I must return through the Stargate as soon as possible." Teal'c affirmed
"Guess we all should go through the gate as soon as possible." Daniel added
"Whoa. Go through? To where?" Sam asked
"To the coordinates from the other reality."
"Daniel, dammit..."
"Jack! It was real!"
"Even if it was, how do we know that that address correlates with this reality?" Sam questioned
"There's only one way to find out, isn't there?"
"We should enter the coordinates and attempt to open the gate." Teal'c concluded.
"OK, hold on. Has anyone considered that we'd be in gross violation of orders? Sir, we'd be court- martialed the second we get back." Sam verbalized Jack's thoughts.
"If , if we get back." Jack added completing that line of thought.
"Jack, if we don't go through, what I saw in the other reality could happen here. This whole planet could be wiped out." Silence fell in the room for a while, which Daniel used as a chance to sell his concerns, "In the other reality, by the time I left Sarah was dead. Carter, your family was dead. Hell, I was dead. Everyone was..."
"Daniel, I got it!
"So, shouldn't we stop the same slaughter from happening here? Let me ask you, Jack. If we don't go through now, and the Goa'uld do attack later...how would you gonna feel?"
"How can just the four of us stop the attack anyway? Even if we do go through," Sam again tried to point the reality of their situation.
"Well, we'd have a better chance now than trying to stop an onslaught later. Trust me, I have seen it."
"If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche...the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful."
"Surgical attack, Teal'c. It's called a surgical attack, and I'd feel like an idiot."
"Sir?"
"I was answering Daniel's question. If we don't do something now and they do attack later...I'd feel like an idiot." A couple moments passed as they let the decision sink in.
"We go.'' Jack confirmed to Daniel.
"I, too, will go." Teal'c compromised. The three men turned to look at the Captain, who until now was just pointing all the facts against it. She looked at Jack for the briefest of the seconds.
"It's not an order, Captain." Jack said to her
"I understand that, Colonel. Thank you… I'm going."
Present
O'Neill Residence
"So that's how you decided to go then," Hammond said amazed, and they all nodded.
"Was that what you were referring to as a rush decision?"
"Yes"
"It seems like pretty rushed to me," Janet added.
"Would you believe me if I say it wasn't?"
"What?"
"It wasn't rushed." Jack stated, and it was received with a collection of skeptical glances. "Oh! Come on, you must notice by now that we do talk"
"If you recall there were 3 days from the hearing and that day," they all nodded, "so we had 2 nights of discussions about the situation and what we should do. We also organized Aidan's things in case we didn't come back."
"We talked with my sister and her husband and left Aidan with them,"
"We also tried to make our kid understand there was a chance he wouldn't see us again. We made him a video just in case, explaining everything, well, most things."
"Woa! So you planned, and still had me under the impression you didn't believe me?"
"As Sam stated that day, Einstein theories talked about those kind of things, so we knew what you said might be real"
"But, it might not be real too." Janet added
"Exactly, that's why we talked about the situation. I mean, if we decided to dial and the gate didn't engage, then we would be ready for a court martial and in our case, it could mean many things. Or, as it happened,"
"The address could engage and you could end up going to a suicidal mission to which you didn't have real chances, and it could mean many things," Hammond concluded.
"Yup, pretty much. But it did help that, either way the things we should prepare for… were the same"
"What do you mean?"
"If we ended up court martialed, we needed to figure out what to do with Aidan to keep him on the safe side when the invasion came."
"And if we ended up going to a suicide mission, we needed to figure out how to keep Aidan on the safe side when the invasion came and that's what we did, we figured things in those two days and had the ball moving for any single possibility that we could come up too"
"Boy, you are pessimists. I mean, you planned around the worst case scenario the whole time"
"Yes and no, we also planned for a non invasion scenario, a simply court martial leading with both in jail, a court martial leading to both as civilians and with no jobs related to what we always did, and so on and so forth"
"You know, son, I always considered you had a strategical mind, but you are proving me you are quite the strategical genius" Hammond praised Jack, he blushed a little
"Well, I'd love to take all the glory, but reality is Sam's pretty darn good at it too.. I just…"
"We talk," Sam added with a smile.