A/N: Here it is! The chapter you've all been waiting for! This isn't the end of the road for our dynamic duo, this story still has some way to go. The slight delay in this chapter going up is because I've had two (thats right, two!) surprise bits of art made to go with this chapter! Once you've read this chapter, head on over to TheWinterBunny on DeviantArt and take a look :-D
Its come to my attention that several folk are confused about Judy's intimate experience. Through messing around in her teenage years and dating she has done everything but full-on penetrative sex. I apologise if this wasn't clear enough in the story and I'll take steps to remedy it.
I'd like to thank everyone who has commented, bookmarked, offered ideas, left kudo's and engaged with this little fic. You've all turned this (once tiny) story of mine into something much more than I ever could've hoped for. I joke that we're like a family, and I value and treasure you all, so I hope this chapter makes you happy :)
Judy had plenty of questions for Nick, and she tried to put them in some order, to make some sense out of them. She made sure both she and Nick could see the bracelet around her wrist while she gave herself a moment to think. Finally, Judy settled on her first question. "Where did the tradition come from?"
Recalling the many conversations he'd had with his mom over the past few months, Nick kept his gaze on the bracelet around Judy's wrist, enjoying the way the warm glow from the lanterns illuminated the carrot and pawpsicle charms. "It's a New World tradition. In the Old World, according to my mom, they use something called promise rings. The rings are a sign of commitment, but the gifter can promise anything they want, which makes the meaning ambiguous to other mammals. A bonding bracelet, though, only has one meaning. It's why we prefer them over rings."
Judy was unsure as to which finger a promise ring would be worn on, but if it went where an engagement ring should go, she figured it could raise a lot of awkward questions. A bracelet made much more sense. "The bracelets mean that the gifter wants to bond with the giftee, right?"
Swallowing as the nerves started to creep back in, Nick fought to control them. He knew that the information he was giving Judy would help her realize just how much she meant to him and how much he loved her. With a nod, he answered Judy's question.
With her suspicions confirmed, Judy turned to her next question. "What's bonding? I mean, the way Gideon was talking about it, it sounds like it's linked to claiming?" Though Judy's research had been pretty extensive, she hadn't come across anything to do with bonding. Given the hush-hush around the bracelets the doe guessed that bonding, as a whole, was something the canine community didn't like to talk about to those outside of their own species.
"Yeah. I don't know how much you know about our customs, but claiming is where we leave a physical mark on our mate." Nick had been ten when his mom had sat him down and given him the talk, wanting him to know early on so that he wouldn't get himself into a stupid predicament. Looking back at it now, Nick wondered if his mom had known he'd leave home at a young age, that he'd try and make it on the streets and end up getting himself into all sorts of trouble. Given the very private and intimate nature of claiming a mate, the only claim marks Nick had ever seen were his parents. His mom's, located on her shoulder, was neat and tidy. His dads had been nearer his collarbone, a little more ragged. Nick could remember his dad explaining why it looked that way; his father's voice had been full of fondness and love for his mom. "Your mom was nervous Kiddo, it was so endearing."
Deciding that being honest with Nick would be best, Judy bobbed her head. "I know that much."
Surprised, Nick tipped his head sideways a little, emerald eyes finding violet in the lantern glow. "You do?"
"Homework, remember?" The book from Marian along with Judy's subsequent online research had mentioned claiming, and it's importance in the canine world. She'd looked up several photos of claim marks and though the whole idea was sweet, a visual you're mine, and I'm yours, Judy couldn't help but be a little frightened about the fact that if she and Nick were to become mates, she'd have to bite him. Judy didn't mind the thought of Nick leaving a mark on her, if anything it excited her, but she wasn't exactly built for biting anyone. The idea of Nick's bite, of carrying with her a permanent sign of their bond, did all sorts of funny things to Judy's insides. True she was an independent doe, but she loved the idea of being Nick's too.
Nick snorted, shaking his head fondly. "That doesn't surprise me." He turned to look back over the fields behind the Hopps warren, finding comfort in the growing darkness. Nick's sharp night vision picked up on the row of trees at the end of the fields, and the ever so faint glow of the closing ceremony lights behind them. Nick had no idea when the fireworks would start. Around them, firefly's hummed, little specks of light flitting through the rapidly darkening sky. The evening air was crisp and for the first time in his life Nick questioned whether he'd like to move out of the city. The countryside offered space and freedom, and Nick already knew that the fresh air and earthy smell helped him think, helped him clear his mind and focus on the important things. "Claiming is usually a bite somewhere around the shoulder area. It breaks the skin so that it'll leave a scar, and both mammals have to exchange bites for the claim to be complete; otherwise, it's seen as illegitimate."
"When does claiming happen? Is there some special celebration or something?" Judy rattled off some more questions. Though the book and research online had helped her it had apparently missed out a lot of things. Judy briefly wondered whether it would've been easier to ask Nick all of her questions rather than doing her research. "Would he have told you, though?" Judy had a feeling their relationship had taken a giant leap forward after their disagreement last night and that their discussion afterwards had opened the door for more serious conversations, such as the one they were having now.
"No special ceremony as such but," Nick nervously licked his lips. The whole conversation was new to him. He'd only ever been with vixens, and even then the endgame had only been a quick tumble. It was all he'd been interested in before Judy. "It's done during, um, knotting." Nick felt the flush of his blush, ears flattening as he tried to hide it. "Now I'm going to have to explain knotting to her. She's going to run for the hills."
Halting her mind from its wandering at the mention of knotting, Judy hummed. "Don't worry, I know about that too." She threw Nick a lifeline, enjoying the way the inside of his ears had turned pink.
Surprised, Nick let out a sigh of relief as his posture relaxed. He was grateful he didn't have to explain it to her. "The bites are a visible symbol of commitment, they can't be washed away like a scent, or taken off like a bonding bracelet." Nick explained. In their current era, where fidelity wasn't something taken very seriously between most mammals, Nick was grateful that his species had evolved in such a way as to ensure that every canine would be able to tell when another was mated or not.
Judy wondered what it would be like to feel Nick's teeth on her again, this time with a little more force and effort behind his bite. Would he even be willing to bite her? It had taken some quick convincing to get Nick to agree to pretend to bite her in the museum pit, but the doe trusted him explicitly. "Does claiming hurt?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Nick knew he couldn't speak for all couples. He was aware that pain levels varied from mammal to mammal. As he'd never taken a mate, Nick couldn't pull from his experience. "I don't know. Mom says it didn't hurt when dad claimed her, but I guess it varies. I can't say for sure whether it does or not."
Given that sharp teeth were breaking skin, Judy surmised that it had to hurt a little. However, she didn't really give it much thought. If it meant Judy would get to carry Nick's claim mark then she'd happily accept a little pain. Looping back to the topic of bonding and hopefully to her bracelet, Judy asked her next question. "So how does bonding link in with claiming?"
Shuffling on the spot, Nick sighed. Needing to do something with his paws he wrung them together, trying to fight off the nerves. Bonding was a huge commitment and Nick was pretty confident it was solely a canine thing. Would Judy want to commit so much? Would she want to tie herself to him for the rest of time? "We foxes mate for life. We can claim a mate and tie them, but bonding is an additional step. Most foxes don't bother with it these days, but it forms an unbreakable bond between them. It's not a tangible bond we're creating, though. It's confirmation that our mate is ours and ours alone. It involves a lot of reassurances, promises, and muzzling. It's finalizing the emotional tie. We can only bond while knotting and claiming." The concept had confused Nick when his mom had first explained it to him. While claiming left a physical mark, bonding was supposed to leave a more symbolic intangible mark on the heart.
While not entirely sure she understood, Judy did realize that it was more an act of affirming love. She got the distinct impression that muzzling was the canine version of her chinning. If Judy were to bond with Nick, she'd have to do more research and give it her all. His trust issues would make any attempt at assuring him about her love, assuring him she'd never leave, that much harder. However, Nick's explanation raised an interesting question for her. "So wait, can foxes cheat on their mates?"
The mention of cheating put Nick on edge. She'd spent last night reassuring him she wasn't going anywhere, that he was stuck with her, but his old insecurities still liked to make themselves known. "Sure, every mammal has free will, but because we mate for life, it's highly frowned upon to cheat. Like I said before, not every mated couple bonds, but if a couple decides to go ahead with bonding then once the bond is complete, cheating isn't do-able. Don't ask me how because I don't know. I don't think any of us know."
Rabbits mated for life too, but their unfortunately high sex drives often led to many marriages breaking down when partners decided to play the field. Judy was grateful that her mom and dad were highly compatible and had remained together. Unlike foxes, rabbits didn't have anything like claiming. They had a similar idea to bonding, but it was more to stop a couple from hating one another over time and to ensure that they were well matched for producing kits. Judy wasn't a fool, she knew Nick had experience, had probably been with many vixens, but the thought of him possibly having wanted to claim any of them made her paws clench. She barely stopped herself from grinding her back teeth together in anger. "This might be a highly personal question…"
Snorting, Nick shook his head. Eyes still focused on the fields in the distance; he tipped his head to look down at Judy. Noticing her clenched paws, he frowned, wondering what could pull such a reaction from her. "Carrots, I think that ship's already sailed."
"Fair point." Judy conceded, forcing herself to relax as she looked up at Nick. Capturing his gaze, she took a deep breath. "Have you ever wanted to claim a vixen and…" She trailed off, hoping Nick would catch on.
If the conversation hadn't been so serious Nick would've laughed, trust Judy to ask him the most personal question that a tod could ever be asked. He had to suppress his smile as their eyes met. "No. It's not possible until we fall in love and find our mate. I never loved any of them." Though Nick had years of experience and numerous encounters under his belt, none of the vixens had been mate material; none of them had captured his heart and pulled at his soul like Judy did. He'd asked his mom during one of their calls how she'd known that dad was the one. Her expression had softened, eyes misting over as she'd recalled the moment she'd known. "We went for a walk through the park, Nicky. My parents weren't happy we were courting; too much history with the Wilde surname, but it didn't bother me in the slightest. There was a group of kits crying in the middle of the park. They'd been playing with their ball when it had burst; it had been caught on one of their claws. Your daddy, goodness bless him, ran all the way to the other side of the district to buy them a new ball, just like the one that had burst. When he returned and gave it to them, their little faces lit up, and for those few moments your daddy was their hero. That's when I realized he was mine, too."
Nick thought back to the moment he'd known Judy to be the one. It hadn't been some huge revelation, it hadn't happened suddenly or with fanfare. It had crept up on him slowly, the idea of loving her wiggling into his heart and growing roots, anchoring itself and flourishing the more he thought about it, the more he spoke to her, the more he saw of her, until eventually he'd been unable to ignore it any longer. He'd accepted her as the one with ease, and when he'd thought about why it had given him pause. Judy was the only mammal to have ever made Nick feel at peace when he thought about the future and it felt right to envision her by his side. She was the first mammal he'd ever loved, the only mammal to ever make his confident and cocky mask slip. Being around her made him want to be a better version of himself, and their time away from one another while he was at the academy had made Nick realise just how much he needed her in his life. The days were meaningless without her around. He was drawn to her, to her kindness; to the way she only ever saw the good in him. Judy's faith in him astounded Nick, and he found himself craving a mate who would help show him the right way, who would love him with all of their might and soothe the wounds of his past. Judy was such a mate. Nick knew that if Judy returned his love, as he so desperately dared to hope, then his battered and lonely heart would be in safe paws.
Judy's homework had given her a very in-depth look at fox anatomy, but it seemed odd to her that no tying could occur until they found their mate. "How's it not possible?" Judy quizzed.
Squirming a little, Nick averted his gaze, finding a dent in the wooden railing beneath his paws far more interesting. He was an open mammal, years on the streets meaning no topic was off limits, but talking about knots with Judy, knowing the doe was probably thinking of his, sent a flash of heat coursing through Nick's body, lust barrelling through him. "No one's entirely sure. Some believe that it's down to survival. We end up tied to another mammal for thirty minutes or so, which can be dangerous if you don't know them well. Others think it's an evolutionary thing. Knots ensure that the female has the best possible chance of getting pregnant. An unstable environment with parents who don't love one another isn't the best environment to raise kits in."
Bobbing her head in understanding, Judy started to play with her bracelet again. She could see Nick's discomfort so decided to move back to her original topic. She could always try and do some more research about claiming, bonding, and knotting later. "Wolford mentioned the bonding bracelet tradition had all but died out."
Offering Judy a grateful smile, Nick hoped his explanation would let her know just how much she meant to him. Nick was too worried to spell it out for her, so he hoped his answer would allude to his feelings. "Males traditionally give them, and they have the connotation of the gifter promising to always look after the giftee – physically, emotionally, and mentally. Times are changing now though, a lot of females don't like the idea of being looked after anymore, so most canines find them archaic and a little sexist."
With the uprise of independent females across all species, Judy understood that some mammals might find the tradition out-dated and a little sexist. In her mind, though, it wasn't. To Judy it felt like a promise that the gifter would always be there for the giftee and support them, no matter what. The fact that Nick promised those things made the doe smile fondly at her favorite fox. They were both highly independent mammals, but even an independent mammal needed to know someone had their back. "You don't think of them that way?"
Nick shook his head. "I can see why some canines do, but no, I don't think of them like that. I don't know how much you read into my family, but we stick close to old traditions. My grandpa bought my grandma one; my dad bought my mom one, and now…" His gaze dropped, emerald eyes finding the porch floor.
"You bought me one." Judy finished his sentence; watching as Nick bobbed his head, gaze still on the floor. She knew it was taking a lot for him to be this open and honest with her after years of hiding his feelings and thoughts.
Nerves had Nick looking down at the porch floor, ducking his head. He knew Judy was physically attracted to him, her pawsy behavior and Bonnie's scent explanation the night before made that abundantly clear, but whether she loved him or not was another matter entirely. Could Judy love him given their species difference? Could she accept all of the little quirks and traditions of his species? Would she continue wearing her bracelet now that she knew how deep his feelings went? Nick knew he'd willingly try to adapt to Judy's traditions, that he'd give it his all. He'd already tried to emulate some of them by bringing her flowers, paying close attention to their meaning.
Reaching out for Nick, Judy slid her right paw under his muzzle, smoothing her palm along the slightly coarse fur there as she brought his head back up. She didn't want him looking down, didn't want him to be embarrassed or nervous around her. This was a conversation they needed to have; these were things Judy needed to know before she could tell Nick just how much she loved him. "Why doesn't your mom wear hers anymore?" As she'd been going through the salvaged photos, Judy had spotted a bonding bracelet around Marian's right wrist. Though the doe had contemplated asking Marian about it the next time she went for dinner, Judy had decided that as Marian was no longer wearing it, then it was something she probably didn't want to talk about.
Forced to look up, emerald eyes found gentle violet ones and Nick relaxed. There was no trace of resentment in Judy's gaze, no displeasure at the fact he cared for her so much. There was only softness and warmth, and Nick felt like he could lose himself in those feelings for the rest of his existence. "She's a widow and traditionally widows move them to their left wrists, to let other canines know they had a mate but lost them, and that they're still no longer available. We mate for life after all, even if our mate dies. Mom was so upset over dads passing that she couldn't bring herself to keep wearing it, to stare at it every day. It's in her jewelry box now. Well, the beads are. You're wearing her bracelet chain."
Pulling her paw back, Judy gasped quietly at the information, eyes finding the gift around her wrist. Bringing her left paw to touch it, she ran her fingers over the silver chain. "This was your mom's?" From the photo's she'd found Judy hadn't been able to make out Marian's bracelet that well. She'd been able to see the rough outline of the charms, but that had been it.
Seeing the reverent way Judy stroked the chain, how she appeared touched by the fact it had been part of his mom's, Nick knew he'd made the right decision. "Yeah, when I told her that I wanted to get you a bonding bracelet she offered me hers, as a sort of heirloom. I wasn't sure at first, given how much meaning they carry, but mom wanted us to have it." Nick explained. He'd worried about whether he would inadvertently curse Judy, gifting her with a bracelet that had once been gifted by his now deceased father. Nick had quickly shoved the thought aside and had accepted his mom's kind offer. It felt right for a piece of his parent's love to be wrapped around the wrist of the doe he was so enamoured with. The spare bracelet chain he'd had made was stored in his bedroom, tucked in his nightstand, just in case something happened to the one Judy was wearing.
Making a mental note to thank Marian for it the next time they had dinner together, Judy ran her fingers over the two charms. "Wolford mentioned that the charms represent how we met." Judy found herself curious now as to what charms Marian had and made another mental note to ask her. Perhaps she'd even ask the vixen to tell her the story of how she met Robert if it wasn't too painful for her.
As the conversation shied away from questions about bonding bracelets as a whole and focused more on Judy's bracelet, Nick felt the nerves starting to creep back in. Pushing off from the railings he headed over to the stairs down to the back garden and surrounding fields. Turning, Nick leaned against the support beam, back against the wood, eyes fixed on the support beam opposite. Paws jammed into his pockets, he hummed in confirmation. "They're supposed to serve as a reminder of how far the gifter and giftee have come. It also helps that it makes every bracelet highly personal." Nick and Judy had come a long way since he'd hustled her out of a jumbo pop and since she'd dragged him on a wild otter chase. If a mammal had of told Nick a year ago that he'd one day find himself on the back porch of a warren in Bunnyburrow, talking about his feelings with a little gray bunny he was madly in love with, he'd have laughed. He'd have then called them an idiot, made a rabbit joke, and hustled them out of $50. "I hustled you to get a jumbo pop to make pawpsicle's with, and you hustled a tax evasion confession out of me and recorded it on your carrot pen."
Following Nick across the porch, Judy leaned against the opposing side beam. Their height difference was magnified now, Judy having to crane her neck up a little to catch Nick's gaze while the tod had to tip his muzzle down to see her. The position wasn't comfortable, the wooden support beam digging into Judy's back, but the doe didn't want Nick running away, didn't want to be out of his line of sight. Though Nick was a smooth talker, his body language was most telling and his paws jammed in his pockets spoke of his discomfort. "I'm surprised they have pawpsicle beads." She mused.
"They don't have them, Carrots. Both beads were custom made. I designed them and sent over the drawings." Nick couldn't blame Judy for not knowing considering how much information he'd kept from her. The bracelets were relatively unknown outside of his species. "Mr. Jackson understood what I was after and made them for me. Mom checked everything met my specifications when she collected it for me." Nick elaborated. His mom had used one of their regular calls to show him the bracelet and had given it the seal of approval. Mr. Jackson was a master at his craft, so the tod had never doubted him for a second. When he'd collected it from his mom's the last time he'd been home he'd spared a moment to check it over himself, concurring with Marian's assessment that it was perfect.
Shocked, Judy made a small noise of surprise. "You designed this?" She asked in disbelief. Nick's nod of confirmation pulled at all sorts of emotions in Judy. She felt overwhelming love for the tod that he'd gone to such lengths for her, but at the same time she felt a deep sadness that he'd withheld such valuable information from her. "Nick, why didn't you tell me that when you gave it to me?"
Nick didn't see the big deal, all of the bracelets were custom made and had been since the tradition had started. "Would it have made a difference?"
"Yes!" Judy exclaimed, feeling the tears gathering in her eyes. "It makes all the difference." She sniffled, lifting a paw to rub at her eyes, not wanting to cry. The fact he hadn't felt the need to tell her hurt. It wasn't like the information would've been a huge red flag when he'd gifted it to her, it wouldn't have told her that it was a bonding bracelet. Judy knew she was an emotional bunny, and she was probably overreacting a little, but the hurt was there.
Judy's sudden sniffles made Nick feel like a monumental jerk. "Aw no, don't cry sweetheart, please." He pushed off from the beam he'd been leaning against, crossing the short distance between them to stand before Judy. Reaching down, he cradled her face, gently wiping her eyes. "I didn't think it would be important. I'm sorry." He apologized, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks. If there was one thing in the world Nick hated, it was witnessing Judy cry. When she'd come to him under the bridge, when she'd started crying during her apology, it had taken every ounce of Nick's strength not to turn around right away, not to fall to his knees and brush away her tears.
"It is important, Nick." Judy sniffled; leaning into Nick's touch as he took care of her. "You put so much thought into it and made something so beautiful for me." While her bracelet had been important to her before, it was irreplaceable now. Judy had known the piece was beautiful in its craftsmanship, and as a gift from Nick it had automatically been important to her, but it was even more meaningful to her now that she knew Nick had designed it with her in mind.
"I'm glad you like it." Nick had drawn out the beads several times, changing the design over and over until he was finally happy. He'd wanted something unfussy yet beautiful, just like Judy. Nick knew she wasn't a jewelry mammal so he'd purposefully kept the piece simple.
Bring the conversation back on track, Nick's explanation about what exactly her bracelet meant helped Judy understand the reactions from the canines she crossed paths with. "Well, now I know why every canine I come across, who isn't already my friend, avoids me like I have fleas." The reactions from other canines had both upset and angered Judy. They didn't know her, didn't know her situation with Nick, and yet they were openly judging her and moving away from her. The males had often fled, retreating to a safe distance as if they would catch something from her if they stood too close. The females had looked down their noses at her.
"I'm sorry, Carrots. I didn't even stop to think about the fact you could be mistreated for wearing it. The bracelets are a symbol, to other canines, that the mammal wearing it is out of bounds and off the market. However, if the animal wearing it doesn't know it's meaning then they're still fair game." Nick's paws dropped from Judy's face as he took a small step back. That was the crux of the matter. Nick had worried about Judy being taken from him, and his worry had been partly his own fault because he hadn't told Judy about the bracelet. The thought of Judy being snatched from him because he'd been a dumb, scared idiot and not told her about her bracelet's meaning was unbearable. If it had of happened, Nick would've kicked himself for the rest of his life, would've spent his days berating himself for being such a coward.
Connecting the dots, Judy's shoulders sagged as it all suddenly made sense. "Which is why you were worried that Bandit would try and take me from you, even after I reassured you nothing was going on." Nick had given her the bracelet in the hope that other mammals would leave her alone, that someone wouldn't take her from him, that he wouldn't be abandoned again. However, because Judy hadn't known about the true nature of the bonding bracelet, her placations had been for nothing, she could still have been taken from him. Not that Judy would've let that happen in the first place, but for a mammal with abandonment issues like Nick it made sense for him to feel that way.
Nodding, Nick brought a paw up to rub the back of his neck. "You asked Bandit for information, and that told him you were unaware of its meaning, so technically you were still available." It was that which had scared Nick the most. Judy was the most important mammal in his life, and the very idea of her being taken away from him, that another fox could possibly woo her and win her affections before he could, drove him into a pit of jealousy, unlike anything he'd ever experienced before.
"I don't ever recall agreeing to be spoken for in the first place." Judy pointed out, crossing her arms over her chest. While the bracelet was a beautiful gesture of Nick's love, now that Judy knew the weight it carried and the message it gave to other canines she felt a little angry. He hadn't consulted her before deciding to let the world think they were a couple. If Nick had explained everything to her, let her know what the bracelet meant, she would've worn it anyway. She loved him, loved him like no other, and if it would've eased his worries, then that was all the more reason for her to wear it. Instead, he'd withheld information from her, left her to deal with the fallout when other canines saw it.
Head dipping like he was a scolded kit, Nick dropped his tail, the fluffy appendage falling between his legs in submission as his ears flattened back against his head. "I know. It was under-pawed of me. It's just that we can only gift one in our lives and I wanted you to have it. A small part of me wanted to use it as a way to keep you safe while I'm gone, to stop other canines hitting on you because you're all I have. The bigger part of me wanted you to have it so that you'll always know how important you are to me and how much you mean to me."
Seeing Nick's submissive body language, the pain on his face as he explained himself, made Judy's heart break. Nick hadn't had anyone before her, had spent his years on the streets, living a different life to those who had homes and 9-5 jobs. His social skills were honed for hustling, not honesty. Being honest made him vulnerable, and Judy never wanted him to feel like he couldn't tell her anything for fear of being seen as weak. Reaching out once again, Judy used a paw to bring his head up. She didn't want him to feel so small around her. Nick was the most animated mammal she knew. Keeping her voice soft, she held his gaze. "Why didn't you tell me all of this when you gave it to me, Nick? I've gone months not knowing and its been driving me crazy. Wolford and Bandit wouldn't say anything, and I only managed to get some information out of Gideon yesterday because he's a little slow."
There was silence between them for a moment as Nick forced himself to work through his feelings, to voice them. He'd agreed to try for her, decided to be more forthcoming with his feelings. Now wasn't the time to go back on that promise. "I was scared," Nick confessed, feeling the weight of the secret lifting from his shoulders. "I thought that if I told you how much it means to me, what it means, that you might not want it because you don't feel the same way, that you would reject it." Nick paused, gulping. "That you would reject me."
A small, sad noise left Judy. Nick had been abandoned so many times, left by so many mammals that he'd come to expect it now. He did everything he could to try and protect himself from having it happen again. Judy knew there was no quick fix for Nick's issues and that she'd have to work every day at building him up again, but it was something she was willing to commit to because she loved him. It would be her new goal. Judy thought back over their relationship and there had only been one time where the possibility of Judy rejecting him had come into play, and that had been after the press conference. They'd dealt with that though, and Judy had come back for Nick, smoothed things over and they'd moved forward together. Curious, Judy wanted to know more. "Why would you think that?"
Anger was not the response Judy had been expecting to her question, but as Nick ripped himself from her grasp and took a step back towards the support beam behind him, it was the exact emotion she saw painted on his handsome face. "Because look at us, Judy." He gestured wildly between them, lips curled into a snarl. "I have nothing to offer you. I'm in my early thirties and still technically without a job until I graduate. I don't own my home, I don't own a car, heck I don't even have a bank account. I had no money until you gave me the deposit box key from Mr. Big; I've no friends, and have little family. I have a surname that used to mean something but is now sneered at, and I have a past that's chequered with awful things. But you, you have so much – a large family, friends, an honest job that you love, a steady income, the means to take care of yourself, no skeletons in your closet. I have nothing to offer you." It all came tumbling out before Nick could stop it, all of his insecurities and doubts, all of the negatives he'd had drilled into him during his years on the streets. Judy was perfect, had everything she could ever dream of, and though Nick knew she was at least physically attracted to him, he couldn't offer her much more than his body and his heart. It was a sad state of affairs that those were the only two things he owned. Nick couldn't provide for her like a good mate should, he couldn't offer her security or the life she deserved, at least not yet. Realizing his outburst might have spooked her, and hoping to salvage their conversation before it turned into a replay of last night, Nick briefly pinched the bridge of his snout with one paw, screwing his eyes shut for a moment. He shoved his other paw into his pocket, slowly letting go of his snout. With a resigned sigh, emerald eyes opening to find a spot on the support beam just above Judy, afraid of what he'd see if he looked into her eyes. "It was high-pawed of me, and I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for it to drive you crazy and upset you. You can take it off if you want. I understand. It's a lot to ask you to keep wearing it just to soothe me."
Nick's sudden anger made Judy angry. The way he couldn't see how good he was, how he spoke down about himself and thought so little of himself wasn't fair. Nick was the best mammal Judy knew, regardless of the fact he believed he had nothing to offer her. Judy didn't need all those material things, she didn't need a flashy car or a fancy house, and she didn't need a prestigious surname or a full bank account either. All she needed was Nick's love, for him to love her as much as she loved him. They could be broke and homeless, and it wouldn't matter to her as long as Nick was by her side. "You're a dumb fox, you know that?" Judy snapped, paws shooting out to grab at Nick's tie, yanking him as close as possible, pulling him to her until they were pressed together up against the support beam she had her back to. Angrily staring up at her fox, she found pleasure in his shocked expression and the way he placed his free paw above her on the beam, supporting his weight as he looked down at her with those wide emerald eyes she loved so much.
"I've spent the past few months doing everything to try and make you see how important you are to me. I started making our home, our den; somewhere you'd be comfortable. I bought furniture and purposefully left it so we could build our home together. I went down the predator aisles of the supermarket and ignored all the hurtful comments I could hear because I read online that you need taurine from fish, or else you'll go blind or have seizures. I stole a book on fox customs from your mom and read it in a night, and then I followed it up with hours and hours on the internet doing more research. Heck, Nick, I even ended up watching fox porn for goodness sake! I tried to follow vixen behavior, sought to drop hints, because I needed you to figure it out, you big dummy. I'm not taking my bonding bracelet off because, damn you, Nicholas Wilde, I'm in love with you." As Judy's anger tapered away her features softened, her ears drooping.
Nick's shock at suddenly being jolted forward turned to surprise as Judy spoke. Eyes widening further, his tail swished, jaw slackening at her confession as his heartbeat picked up, pure elation coursing through him as Judy tightened her grasp on his tie. "Did she just…? Judy just said she's in love with me. Son of a..." Emerald eyes searched violet as Nick prayed this wasn't all some big cosmic joke, but all he could see was Judy's openness and honesty.
Paw's loosening on Nick's tie, Judy reached up, her right paw finding purchase on his shoulder while her left traced along the edge of his muzzle, stroking the soft fur beneath his lips. She dared not break eye contact. She wanted, no needed, Nick to know that everything she was saying was the truth, that she meant every single word. "I love the way your ridiculously fluffy tail wags when you're happy and that you're always wrapping it around me. I love the way you give me a lazy grin when I say something amusing and the way you always look at me with such tenderness. I love the way you believe you're oh so clever when you take sly photos of me, but I know you're taking them because I can hear the shutter on your phone. I love the way you tip your head sideways when you're confused, or how your beautifully expressive eyes widen when I surprise you. I love the way you hold me when we sleep, how I'm permanently covered in your scent now, and the way you're no longer afraid to hold my paw in public. I love those absolutely awful nicknames you have for me, how you're so polite to my parents and indulge my siblings when they test your patience. I love how you listen to everything I say even if it's stupid or I'm prattling on like I am now. I love how you hustled me, how you always tell me you miss me, how your phone wallpaper is a photo of us. I love how loyal you are, how you don't judge me, and how you always whine about the sun being too bright. I love your voice and your ridiculous shirts, and the way you touch me and hold me. Most of all, though, I love that I could never run out of things to love about you because you're my Nick, the mammal I am completely and utterly head over hind paws in love with and none of that mundane stuff matters. I don't want any of it. All I want is your heart and your soul, your love and your care. You're it for me, Nick. I love you."
Nick felt like time came to a standstill, like the whole world stopped spinning. He couldn't get his body to move, couldn't think of anything other than Judy's words, of her love and the feeling of fulfillment that consumed him, hearing that his love was reciprocated.
Terrified after a few beats of silence, Judy couldn't bear it anymore. "Say something, please…" She whispered, praying she hadn't just messed everything up, hadn't read it all wrong and ruined her relationship with the only mammal she entrusted her heart to.
Snapped from his daze by the pleading tone of Judy's voice, Nick inhaled sharply. It was instinctive, his body pressing Judy firmly against the beam behind her, the paw that had once supported him looping around her waist, clawed fingers grasping at her, pulling her against him. The scent of honeysuckle and violets flooded his nostrils, and his vision was filled solely with her. "Carrots. Judy. My mate. She wants me." The final thought crashed over him. Subconsciously, his tail wrapped around her ankles; tightening, protecting, staking his claim.
"Judy." Her name slipped from his lips like a benediction, a whispered prayer. She rose up, pushing up on the balls of her hind paws to give her that little bit of extra height. Leaning in, Nick closed his eyes as he covered the final few millimeters between them until finally, after months of waiting and yearning, of dreaming and hoping, Nick pressed his lips to Judy's. The loud bang from the first fireworks of the closing ceremony broke through the still night air, but Nick paid them no mind. He could watch fireworks any time. Right now, he was too busy feeling them. As he pressed Judy further against the support beam, all he could think about was her. Judy consumed his thoughts and tore down those final walls he'd built around himself, and the tod willingly gave himself over to her. She was freedom and hope, safety and comfort, love and happiness. Judy beckoned him like a siren's song, and Nick was powerless to resist. Kissing her, holding her, filled him with a profound sense of completion.
Judy's heart hammered, its already quick pace ramping up as Nick pressed himself against her. Her paw on his shoulder pulled and tugged, keeping him as close as possible, the other remained on his muzzle, caressing his face. She could feel the thudding of his heart, the strength in his newly acquired muscles, and his musky, comforting scent surrounded her. As their lips met, she too closed her eyes, savoring the feel of finally, finally, getting to kiss Nick. Kissing her fox was unlike anything Judy had ever experienced before. The few bucks she'd experimented with couldn't hold a candle to Nick. The world narrowed until Nick was all that mattered, the faint sound of the fireworks in the distance muted compared to the thudding in her ears from the rush of blood through her body as she poured all of her love and care into their kiss. It was slow and gentle, mouths exploring, lips caressing. Judy desperately tried to pull him closer, to suffocate the minimal space between them. She needed more, wanted more.
Feeling the tug of his bunny as she tried to draw him closer, Nick stooped a little, sliding both of his paws down Judy's frame, mapping her curves before he found the backs of her thighs. Never daring to break away from their kiss, he lifted her with ease, bringing her up until she was that little bit taller than him. Judy's legs wrapped around him and her ankles crossed to keep her in place. With one paw on Judy's back and the other resting on her butt, close to her cottony tail, Nick kept her pinned to the support beam. With her additional height came the need for him to tip his head back so he could keep kissing her, and the tod's chin came to rest on Judy's small chest. Losing himself in their kiss, Nick barely remembering to breathe through his nose, and even then her scent made him feel lightheaded. It was floral and feminine but with a tang that was uniquely Judy. The underlying sweetness of her arousal was hard to miss, and the scent drew a low groan from him.
Judy's paws couldn't stay still. They grasped at the fur on the back of his head, stroking every inch of him, until finally her right paw came to a stop on his cheek, blunt fingers digging into soft fur, pulling him impossibly closer. Emboldened, she parted her lips, her small tongue flicking forward as her fox groaned.
Giving Judy a gentle squeeze, Nick was desperate for more of her touch. He granted her access, parting his own lips while his brain tried to warn him about his teeth, that sweet little bunny's like Judy weren't used to canines. However, as Judy's small tongue ran over the sharp points it felt like his brain short-circuited. A low rumble escaped him before he could stop it as he tightened his hold on her. "Mine!" His mind snarled, demanding he claim her, demanding that he love her.
Needing to taste her, Nick's tongue met Judy's; longer and more agile, sending shudders through the small bunny. Instead of fighting for dominance, their tongues brushed together with ease, Judy giving herself over to her fox. The taste of her ignited a hunger in Nick that he'd never experienced before in his life. She was sweet and pure, untainted by the harshness of the world. He wanted more of her, wanted to taste every inch of her, wanted to be greedy for once in his life and keep her all to himself. He wanted to love her endlessly and acquaint himself with the sounds she made in the throws of pleasure. He wanted to protect her from any mammal that dared to harm her, wanted to claim her and bond with her, make her his mate in every sense of the word. No other mammal had ever pulled such deep desire from him. The mix of her gentle, slowly exploring tongue and the rough, grasping nature of her paws excited him, but before he could push things too far, before he could ruin something as important as their first kiss by giving in to his unbridled lust and desire to claim her, Nick dragged his mouth from hers, panting heavily as he kept his chin on her chest, noses centimetres apart, the warm exhales of Judy's breath fanning over him.
Eyes still closed Nick didn't dare break the moment, but slowly the outside world started to filter back in – the sounds of their heavy breathing and of the fireworks exploding in the distance overpowered the thudding of his heart. Unable to resist, Nick pressed his lips to Judy's again in a series of small, affectionate kisses. As he pulled back and opened his eyes, he watched with unrestrained joy as dazed violet eyes opened, the softest and most beautiful of smiles gracing Judy's kiss-swollen lips.
"I love you too." Nick watched as Judy's whole face lit up, and he didn't stop himself from pressing their lips together once more, stealing another kiss. He couldn't get enough, couldn't get enough of the feelings coursing through him – love and hope, passion and elation, unbridled happiness and an underlying current of possessiveness. Knowing she accepted him and loved him for who he was lifted a weight off of the tod's shoulders, made Nick feel important, like he was worth something, like he could do anything. Nick knew he had issues and that he carried a lot of baggage, but Judy accepted that, accepted it all. It gave him hope.
"I love the way you thump your hind paws when you're mad or lost in thought, the way you always see the good in everyone, and how you want to make the world a better place. I love the way you smile at me like I hung the sun and the moon and the stars, the way you never give up on me, how you believe in me even when I don't believe in myself. I love how beautiful you are, the way I can't picture a single day without you in it. I love the way you reach for me, how you make me feel complete and like I'm worth something, like I can do anything. I love the way you tease me, and how you always do your homework, how you outhustled me, and how you've brought me home to meet your family. I love that you have dinner with my mom every week without fail; how you wear the clothes she makes for you, and you take her flowers every time you go. I love how you sound over the phone during our calls, and how we fit together when we sleep. I love waking up in the morning to find you in my arms, and that your scent is so much stronger then, so intoxicatingly good that it drives me crazy with the need to protect you and love you and make you mine. I love how smart you are, how every time you look at me you take my breath away, and how you inspire me to be more than I am. I love the way you ignore what other mammals say about us, and the way you defend me even against your own brother. I would do anything in this world to make you happy, and it frightens me, it scares the hell out of me, but I don't care because it's you. You're the most important mammal in my life, Judy. I love you."
Judy felt like butterflies had taken over her stomach. She'd figured out yesterday that Nick loved her but hearing him say it to her, seeing the love on his handsome face as he confessed his feelings to her, captivated Judy. Nick's words filled her with warmth and joy. He was everything to her, and Judy felt like she could weather any storm so long as she had Nick by her side.
Judy swooped in and stole another kiss from her fox. "I'll never get tired of hearing him tell me that he loves me." She cupped his face, tipping his head for better access. Nick submitted, letting her kiss him senseless, letting her lead as he kept her pinned to the support beam, still holding her up. Boldly sweeping her tongue into his mouth, Judy could now taste the faint remnants of the pawful of blueberries he'd snagged from the kitchen as they'd left for the parade, along with the candy she'd fed him during the procession. Slowing their kiss, Judy slipped her paws around his neck, reluctantly pulling back a little to witness the blissful smile gracing Nick's muzzle. "I'm still mad at you, for not telling me how important my bracelet is, and how much it means to you." She whispered against his lips.
A low chuckle reverberated through Nick, his body gently shaking. "I love the way you get mad at me, too."
Unable to stop herself from sniffling, eyes watering as she tried to fight back her tears again, Judy gave the back of Nick's neck a gentle squeeze. "You're an idiot, Nicholas Wilde." The sound of the fireworks echoed through the night. Judy spared a moment to feel sad that she was missing them, they were her favorite part of the festival, but she knew she'd just experienced something so much better than watching those old fireworks.
As Judy's tears rolled down her cheeks, Nick kissed them away, peppering her face with even more soft kisses afterward. He felt like an addict, unable to stop himself from kissing her over and over again now that he could. She was moreish, all-consuming, and his willpower was non-existent. "That I am. I was going to wait until after graduation to tell you how I feel, but I guess that backfired."
Disbelief marred Judy's face. She couldn't imagine them having held back their feelings any longer. They'd already pushed it as far back as possible, already wasted so much time when they could've been enjoying one another. The bracelet around her wrist stood as testament that Nick had loved her way before her birthday back in May. "Why would you want to wait that long?"
"Because you're distracting, and having kissed you now I have no idea how I'm going to survive my remaining months at the academy without getting to kiss you every day." The confession came easily. Nick had shown his paw, opened his heart up to Judy and she hadn't thrown it back at him, hadn't laughed or sneered, hadn't disregarded his feelings. Judy had accepted him and his feelings, and it filled the tod with a level of confidence he'd never experienced before. Nick had a long way to go before he'd be comfortable being open with every mammal he met, but with Judy by his side, Nick knew he could overcome anything.
Feeling a little kittenish, Judy's teeth sank into her lower lip. "It'll give you something to look forward to, to come home to." She bargained. Truth told Judy didn't know how she'd survive without her fox by her side. She'd miss his kisses, miss being held in his arms, and miss the sounds he made when she kissed him. "Oh cripes. I'm going to need suppressants."
Enticed by Judy's offer, Nick hummed his approval, chest rumbling as he brought their snouts together, closing his eyes as he rested his wet nose against Judy's. "Mhm, so long as you promise that I can kiss you senseless when I come home."
"You can do whatever you want to me," Judy promised, voice dropping to an unexpectedly low and sultry tone as her paws moved to stroke the coarse fur on Nick's ears. "Jeez Judy, you might want to grab those suppressants sooner rather than later." Lust was a new feeling for the country bunny, the desire to let Nick have his way with her throwing her off balance. She'd never felt such a yearning for another mammal before. Sure, she'd made it to third base with a few bucks in her teenage years, but it had been more out of a sense of duty, like it was expected of her, than because she actually felt any sort of desire or attraction.
Red-hot lust burnt a trail through the tod and with a growl he buried his snout against Judy's throat, eyes still screwed shut. "Don't make promises like that unless you intend to keep them." He begged, voice hoarse. The thought of having his way with Judy stirred up all sorts of possessive, primal feelings in him. Her relative inexperience concerned Nick but getting to show her the ropes excited him. Scattering kisses across Judy's neck; he voiced his delight as she tipped her head back, exposing more of her throat. The light thud as her head met the support beam was only just audible under her gasp. Wanting to test a theory he let his canines press gently against the soft skin of Judy's throat, biting lightly. The loud moan that left Judy, followed by her squeak of embarrassment, made the tod laugh. "I knew it. You have a pred kink." He teased, pulling back to lock eyes with his bunny.
A bright red blush colored the inside of Judy's ears, and she glanced away quickly, feeling embarrassed that Nick had pulled such a sound from her and had uncovered her secret love affair with his sharp teeth. Judy wasn't sure if it was normal to be turned on by the feel of teeth around her throat, but the momentary feeling of helplessness it gave her was intoxicating. "I don't have a pred kink, Nick." She deflected.
Seeing Judy's embarrassment, Nick gently set her back down on her hind paws. He could've continued to hold her up all night but he needed to put a little space between them, lest he try to have his way with her this evening. He wanted them to take their relationship slow; he wanted to do this right. "It's not a problem, Fluff. If there's something you like then you need to tell me." He figured her inexperience would see her shying away from voicing her likes and dislikes.
Knowing that communication was essential to any relationship, or so her parents had told her, Judy bobbed her head while she nibbled on her lower lip. "Then I like it when you bite."
Offering her a reassuring smile, Nick made sure that Judy could see that he wouldn't tease her. She needed to be comfortable talking to him about these things, and the only way to achieve that was by being open and accepting. "Then I'll be sure to do it more often." Nick reached out, unable to stop himself from smoothing a paw down Judy's ears.
"Well, I don't put out until at least the third date, so steady on okay?" Judy went for humor, fleetingly realizing that it was Nick's usual tactic. She wasn't scared of being intimate with Nick, even with their obvious size difference and the addition of his knot, but she was worried about doing something wrong, about messing up. Nick was the most important mammal in her life.
Accepting the gentle reprimand, Nick hid his smile as he pulled Judy to him, wrapping his arms around her to hold her close. The doe's arms snaked around his waist, and she let her head rest against his chest. "I've been keeping my feelings to myself for so long now that I got a little carried away, I'm sorry. I'm sure I can come up with two incredible dates for when I next come home to make up for it." Nick knew he'd have to pull out all the stops. Judy wasn't fussy, but after the bad dates she'd been on with the idiots Billy and George, Nick wanted to really wow her and show her what a proper date was like.
Holding onto her fox, Judy snorted. "I said three, Slick."
Looking down at the doe in his arms, Nick frowned. "Surely your birthday counted as the first one, no?" It had been an incredible day as far as Nick was concerned, and they'd been acting like a couple then – breakfast in bed, jewelry, paw holding, the city gallery, and dinner at a nice restaurant. In Nick's books that constituted a pretty amazing date.
"We weren't together then." Judy pointed out, lifting and tipping her head so she could look up at Nick, chin resting on his chest as the tod was forced to tip his muzzle further down so he could see her. Their differences would become more apparent the further into their relationship they went, and Judy idly wondered how creative they'd have to be to overcome them.
"But we are now, right?" Nick double-checked. They'd just made out on the back porch of her family home and confessed their love to one another. Nick was pretty confident they were together.
Feeling mischievous, Judy brought her arms around to Nick's front so she could splay her paws over his chest, enjoying how much firmer he now felt given that he'd spent several months having his tail kicked into shape by Major Friedkin. She enjoyed that he'd filled out a little more and had gained some weight, but Judy was still monitoring his eating habits. Looking up at her fox, she grinned. "Nah, I like to kiss every handsome fox who gives me a deep and meaningful bonding bracelet for my birthday…."
Nick snorted, paws tightening around Judy in a quick squeeze. "Out of that entire list I gave you back at the precinct all those months ago, you've finally picked a way to describe me." He teased, closing the distance between their muzzles, stealing a quick kiss, hoping to calm his nerves. "For the sake of formality, though, would you, um…" he floundered, not entirely sure how best to phrase his question. Did 'will you be my girlfriend?' sound like something kits would say or was it appropriate for adult usage?
Nick's floundering made Judy coo, and the doe fell even more in love, if that were possible. "Is my cool as a cucumber fox nervous about formally asking me to be his girlfriend?" It was only fair that she could tease him back.
Nick averted his gaze, suddenly feeling shy. It was a new feeling for the street smart fox. "I've never asked anyone before." He confessed. "I've never cared for another mammal as much as you, haven't wanted to date someone before you." Emerald eyes finally finding Judy, Nick groaned at the stupid smile on her face. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"
Nodding eagerly, Judy couldn't contain her grin. Though she felt inexperienced compared to the tod, knowing there were some elements of their relationship that were new to him soothed her. "Yup. It's a rite of passage. I'm not having you miss out."
Sighing, Nick rolled his eyes playfully. Offering the doe in his arms a soft smile, Nick brought a paw to her cheek, caressing her. "Carrots. Judy." He cleared his throat. "I love you, only you, and it would mean the world to me if we could be exclusive, if I could call you my girlfriend, please?"
"Oh Nick, you're too adorable." Judy's grin softened into a loving smile, and she brought one of her own paws up to stroke down his muzzle. Heart thudding, Judy felt the tingle of butterflies in her stomach once again. "I love you too, my silly fox. Of course I'll be yours, so long as you're mine." She whispered, gently guiding Nick's muzzle down to hers.
Letting Judy guide him down, Nick didn't bother containing his smile. "I can live with that." He whispered back, closing the distance between them once again to capture Judy's lips in a tender kiss. "I can most certainly live with that."