Hello and welcome to update day. Did everyone survive BDP2? I'm seeing it again for the fourth time tomorrow night. It's just as good if not better each time. Epic is a good word to describe it.

Thanks to my team for their love and support. Love to my girls on JUF and to my peeps on LTAE. If you aren't in my Facebook group you should be. I would love for you to join. Search Love Through Another's Eyes...

I've been doing a lot of writing over the last few days and I'm really excited to share it all with you. We will get past the angst, and when we do you may even melt a wee bit, I know I did.

A special shout out to Mere, I love you, sweet girl.

Okay, let's get to boys night out. Oh and look out, there may even be some citrus ahead.

SM owns all.

.

.

.

Chapter Twenty-One

Edward

I step out of the shower after a long day at the hospital and notice that I missed a text. I pull on my favorite pair of faded 501's and a white v neck, grab a Coke out of the fridge and flop down on the couch before looking at my phone.

Working late, then dinner with Tanya. K.

Perfect, so much for my idea of a surprise dinner and a movie with my wife.

Tell Tanya to enjoy the pleasure of your company since I won't get the privilege. E.

Leftovers in the fridge, Eddie, rent a movie or something. K.

I toss my cell on the couch and head back into the kitchen to see what I can find for dinner. Nothing looks appealing and I've suddenly lost my appetite anyway. On my way back to the living room, my cell vibrates, indicating I have a new text. Great, what is Kate going to say now? Oh, I know, maybe she will be too tired to drive home so she will just crash at T's place, sure why the hell not?

Hey man, it's 'bro night' at Rocksport, you up for it? J.

So, it's not Kate ... and Jasper's timing couldn't be more perfect. Well, it's now or never. Time to bite the bullet here ... it's been months. I text him back before I change my mind.

Yepp, K is working late. Ask Emm to pick me up. E.

Fantastic, instead of date night now I'm meeting Jasper and Emmett at the bar. This is wrong on a few different levels. First, I'm annoyed that Kate didn't have the decency to call and inform me of her change in plans. You're lucky she sent a text. Second, I'm not really looking forward to being social since I'm trying to to more sensible about drinking. After not communicating with Jasper for so long, I could really use a beer to help with the anxiousness I feel. Suck it up Edward.

Okay, to the bar it is. I can do this. I'll be damned if I am going to sit home waiting for Kate to come home ... or not.

~LTAE~

We are at Rocksport in West Seattle, and Emmett is pumped. Wednesdays at Rocksport mean pool tournaments and Smirnoff Vodka for three bucks a pop. Aside from Rose, pool and vodka are Emmett's favorite pastimes. The man has simple needs. I may envy him a bit.

"So yeah, Rose and I have been living together for four months now." I can tell from the look on Jasper's face I'm the last to know this. Damn, I've been out of the loop. "But what I want to tell both you guys is that I proposed to her and she said yes!" I nearly spit my soda clear across the bar at Emmett's declaration.

Emmett.

Proposed.

To Rose.

"Emm? Are you kidding man? It's been like, what - six weeks? You can't be serious?" I'm in shock here. I look over at Jasper and he is all smiles, while here I sit with my bottom lip hanging clear down to my chin.

"Edward, it's been six months. You are a bit out of the loop, buddy. Rose and Emm are quite the dynamic duo these days," Jasper says as he punches Emm in the shoulder. "Emm here is pussy whipped, big time."

"Hey back off Jazz, you should talk. Rose tells me that you and Swan are getting quite cozy lately."

Wait, what? Swan? As in Bella? "You are still seeing Bella, Jazz? As in dating?" Oh. My. God. I can't believe this. How did I not know this? You suspected it E, don't kid yourself.

"Yeah Eddie, it's nothing serious, but it's nice." Jazz says, shooting me a cautious look. "We are taking things slow and just getting to know each other. Ya know, hanging out and stuff, nothing heavy."

Nothing serious.

Taking it slow.

Getting to know each other.

Hanging out.

Nothing heavy.

I don't like it.

At all.

"Yeah, that translates to Texas boy here ain't getting none." Emmett winks and Jazz punches his arm.

"Yet." Jasper adds, giving me a pointed look. From one extreme to another, is he messing with me on purpose?

That comment makes me see red. I have no reason to feel this way, but I do. I'm immediately in protective mode. Who am I protecting exactly? Bella? My own, married, selfish ass?

Emmett continues, "Okay, well before we started talking about J's non existent sex life," Shut the hell up, Emm, "I did just make a major announcement. So lets get the focus back on me you assholes, proposal ... remember?"

Emmett is not pleased. My mind is racing with these new announcements, but I have to pull it together for Emm's sake. "Right, let's celebrate," I push all my rampant thoughts aside and raise my glass in the air. "To Emmett and Rosalie, congratulations!" It's the best I have at the moment, I hope I sound sincere.

"Now that's more like it!" Emm says as he raises his drink. "We've set the date and Rose has already picked Bella as her maid of honor and Ali will be a bridesmaid. So now would probably be a good time to discuss my best man and groomsman. Eddie, Jazz? You in?"

We both say yes, of course we will gladly do it. Emm looks happy, Jazz looks happy, and I probably look miserable. I'm edgy. Before I know it my word vomit spews out, "Well, not to take the spotlight off of Emm and Rose," Prick, you just totally did, "but just so you know, Kate and I are trying to get pregnant."

Now it's both their turns to look shocked. Emm's reaction is, "Shit, Eddie's going to be a daddy!" I flip him off, and Jazz toasts me with a,"That is great news, man." Yeah I'm sure it is to you, you backstabbing son of a bitch.

Emmett is getting hitched.

I'm best man.

Bella is maid of honor.

Jazz and Bella are dating.

Kate and I are trying to have a baby.

~LTAE~

My mind is racing and as I enter our apartment, I can't shut it off. Ever since we returned from Portland and the dreams started, I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. Try as I might, she is always there, lingering. My relationship with Kate has been slowly improving since the counseling started, hell, we are trying for a baby. But even still, there is Bella, dancing around the outskirts of my troubled, fucked up mind. Tonight's little bit of news is definitely not helping. Bella is consuming every thought in my head, all I see is her now.

The thought of Jasper with Bella is more than I can bear. He says they are merely hanging out, and that it's not serious, but can I take that at face value? I wanted to press him for more information, but after Emmett's declaration, I knew it was best to leave it alone.

I'm mentally exhausted and I smell like the bar. I know Kate will bitch when she gets home if I climb into bed like this, so I trudge my way into the bathroom for a shower. The water is warm and surprisingly inviting. I'm hoping it will help to defragment my bewildered brain. Not likely.

I need to regroup. I need to relax. My hand automatically moves to my cock. Yes, this is what I need. Just feel.

I start to stroke. I feel her hands on me, she's pulling me towards her, hard flesh meeting soft. Her fingers are pushing into my hips, pulling me closer to her center. I moan, the heat radiating off her is intense.

God I need her.

It's been far too long.

My breathing picks up, and I'm already feeling the faint stirring of an orgasm low in my groin.

My lips find hers, they are warm, wet, so inviting. My tongue mingles with hers, it's slow, it's sensual, it's all consuming. I've kissed her a million times, but this is different. She tastes so damn good, she tastes ... sweet.

I can feel it building. My strokes are getting faster, my left hand slams against the cool tile, the muscles in my legs begin to quiver. My eyes are tightly closed, fuck, I'm getting close.

I feel her hand on mine, she is grasping my length, and now free, my right hand reaches towards her. I gently cup her by the back of her neck, bringing her closer.

She can't be close enough.

All at once she is on her knees before me. Her tongue swirls around the head of my cock, catching the bead of pre come on the tip. She hums in satisfaction. Yeah that's right, baby, you like the taste of my come. She begins to lick and suck, she is teasing me. I groan in frustration. I want so badly to push her head down over my cock. I want her hot little mouth on me, and fuck, I can't take much more. I open my eyes, looking down at her, and she slowly lifts her head. Yeah look at me, baby, watch me come.

The eyes watching me are dark, they are brown, they are hers.

Then it happens.

I let go.

It's starts low and I feel it moving slowly up my body like a wave. It builds, getting more intense as it rises, and I lose all focus. My head falls back, my muscles are taut. Every cell is begging for release.

One last pump up and down my shaft and I come hard, spurt after spurt shooting out of my pulsing cock. "Fuucckk." I watch as the streams hit the tile in front of me, then slowly wash down the drain.

My heart is beating out of my chest and my breathing is erratic. I feel beads of sweat on my forehead. I feel triumphant, alive.

I struggle to calm myself, and my heart rate gradually returns to normal. My mind is still racing, yet there is one clear thought making it through. It escapes my lips in a whisper, and I'm powerless to stop it.

"Bella."

Bella

My face is wearing a stupid grin from texting with Jasper. That's one of the things I like about him, he makes me happy with a simple ease. He also makes it easier for me to forget about another man. Well, up until last night that is.

It's an early fall day and Edward and I are having a quiet picnic lunch. We are sitting in a tiny meadow abundant with lush blue and purple wildflowers. He is laying across my lap, reading to me, and I lean down and kiss his forehead while stroking his hair. He rolls on his side and whispers flawless french to my stomach.

"Je t'aime beaucoup mon petit ange et je suis impatient de te tenir dans mes bras."

I giggle, "I think it's a little too soon for foreign language lessons, love."

He chuckles, kisses my small baby bump, then sits up while pulling me into his arms. "It's never too early, sweetheart, she'll be smart and beautiful like her daddy."

I teasingly smack his arm and am about to deliver a witty comeback when he suddenly distracts me with a smoldering look followed by a searing kiss. "I mean, her mommy."

I wake up with my heart pounding and tears streaming down my face. The dream wasn't the present, it was the future. Suddenly aching for something that will never exist, I curl up in a ball and scream into my pillow.

The dream was still vivid the next morning, and I forced myself to push it to the back of my mind. Why was I all of a sudden feeling guilty? I'm dating Jasper, I remind myself. It's not as though I'm using him in any way, we have been taking it slow. And despite a beautiful dream and my deeply buried feelings, I know Edward isn't a possibility.

I feel like I could eventually fall for Jasper, I'm just not ready to make more of a commitment to him. Something is holding me back. Or someone Bella, be honest.

Allowing myself to dwell on what will never be doesn't help make the decision on where my relationship with Jasper should be heading any easier. I need a distraction from it all, so I come up with an idea for a girls night with Rose and Ali at my apartment. Since Rose moved in with Emm, Jasper and I have spent a lot of time together, and I feel we could use a night apart.

So now I am waiting for my girls to get here. I ordered some pizzas, bought quite a few bottles of Riesling, and rented a handful of sappy girl movies. Perfect.

A few hours into our evening, Rose turns to me and the look on her face tells me that I'm about to get interrogated.

"Okay Bella, time to dish."

I take a long sip of my wine. Ugh, I knew this was coming. Change the subject Bella. "Can't we just talk about your news Rose? It's not as if my best friend gets proposed to everyday."

"Nope, that is so twenty-four hours ago, Bella." Ali interjects before Rose can say a word. She is practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Ali is right, now out with it girlfriend." Rose quips as she refills our glasses.

"There's nothing to tell really. We are dating and taking things slow." Maybe that will be enough for them?

Rose scoffs and winks at Ali, "Which means Bella ain't getting any Texas style lovin." Okay so apparently it's not enough.

Ali cackles and I glare at Rose, hitting her leg.

Ali chimes in, "C'mon Bella, we honestly just want to know where your relationship is going, not all the dirty details. Knock it off Rose!"

"Speak for yourself Alice, I bet Jasper is a wild one in the sack."

Get a handle on this, Bella."Seriously, there isn't much to say. We are dating casually, and no Rose, we haven't slept together. We've gone on a few double dates with you and Emm, and several alone. It's nice."

"Damn girl, it's been six months! Don't you think it's time to move things along?" Wow, I love my best friend.

"Rose, lay off, maybe she's holding back because she waiting for the right time." Thank you Ali.

"Or the right someone," Rose says smugly.

Ali suddenly gets a confusing look on her face, her eyes go wide, and her mouth opens and then closes. When she opens it again she utters one word, "Edward."

She knows...

.

.

.

So all the therapy in the world can't keep Edward's thoughts from straying to Bella. Did he deserve his...shower time? And what about Bella's dream? The bit of french translates to "I love you so much my little angel, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms." **swoon** I love me a french speaking Edward.

Rosalie and Emmett are getting married...did anyone see that coming?

Tuesday?

Mwah!

Judy

XO