It seemed like a great idea at the time. Find Haruhi, cheer her up and practice real hard at school the next day to make sure we're ready for the Battle of the Bands this Saturday. Sounds so heroic doesn't it?

Heroic, but not practical.

First of all, Haruhi wandered off halfway between towns so she could be just about anywhere by now. Second, it's approaching half past three in the morning and most likely by the time I actually do find Haruhi and have her feeling better, we will probably end up sleeping for the better part of tomorrow, skipping school entirely and thus not being able to practice.

And finally, even if we did practice, the fact of the matter remains that I completely suck at playing bass and that our chosen song for the contest is still too hard for me to play.

The short version would be that my stupid plan might sound cool but in reality is just doomed to fail. Kind of like communism...

Regardless, I promised Nagato that I would make her dream come true and so help me I'm gonna make it happen!

I rang Koizumi's cell and it was no surprise that he answered immediately.

"Hello."

"Hi...I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"Not at all, I'm currently on my way to the next closed space." I don't know how he could say that so calmly. Frankly if I were him I'd be really pissed off but he seemed completely at ease, as usual. At least he's calm again. Whatever emergencies may have cropped up earlier must be at least manageable by now.

"You know you are fortunate to have called when you did. Your call wouldn't reach had I been in closed space-"

"Well that's interesting and all, but I don't have all night so I'll cut to the chase. Have you found Haruhi yet?"

I could hear his smile widening.

"We've narrowed it down at the very least, but no we have not found her just yet. But don't worry, we have many agents out looking-"

God I wish there was a fast forward function for conversations with Koizumi.

"Tell me where you think she is!"

With a chuckle Koizumi explained, "From what we can tell she is returning to her home. We've been tracing back from where she wandered off and moving back from there and so far the trail seems to suggest she is closer to home than anything else."

"Well that makes things a little easier. By the way, you know Haruhi's home address don't you?" I asked.

Koizumi gave me her address and I gave him my thanks before trying to hang up, but just as my finger hovered over the end call button I heard the esper boy's voice rasping through the speaker. I brought it back to my ear and frowned, "What was that last part?"

He laughed again, but I wasn't in the mood to get angry about that so I let it go. When at last his chuckling faded out he repeated himself in a calming tone.

"Good luck. As much as I'd like to be the one to find her, this kind of task is far better suited to you. Godspeed Kyon, I believe in you."

I hung up.

Seriously, who says 'Godspeed' these days anyway?

But...Uh...You know...

Thanks...

…

Anyway, I ran through the streets, taking every short-cut I could on my way to Haruhi's house. Come to think of it, the only Brigade member who has invited me to their home is Nagato. In an emergency I wouldn't know where to find Miss Asahina or Koizumi, but then again if Koizumi were in trouble I'm sure he would bring it to my doorstep and even ring the bell.

Well there is still time. So long as Haruhi doesn't shuffle her deck of cards and deal out a new world then we'll have plenty of time to visit Koizumi's place. I'm sure it's a mansion paid for in full by the Agency with a pool out the back and a games room bigger than most houses. And of course I'll have to have a sleep-over at Miss Asahina's place; most likely a modest little house with cutely decorated walls and old fashioned furniture.

Sorry to bore you, I'm just killing time while watching the world flow by.

Leaping over gardens and vaulting fences, sprinting down quiet streets, even with all the corners cut it took forever to finally arrive outside Haruhi's house.

It suddenly dawned on me that I had never even thought about what kind of home Haruhi would have, though I did always peg her as having something extravagant and larger than what is necessary. Thus it was quite a shock to find myself standing before a humble little home, even smaller than mine.

The lights were off in the small square windows and the vague luminosity of the moon barely lit up the place. From what I could tell the garden was a little overgrown, but evidently tended to. Surely Haruhi doesn't do gardening, so it must be her mother...

But Haruhi never mentioned anything about her mother. I wonder if the apple fell far from the tree, or if Miss Suzumiya is a gentle lady, far more reserved and balanced than her excessively eccentric daughter.

I got to thinking of her parents, of her room, her life; imagination going wild with the limitless possibilities.

After an eternity of waiting, I heard somebody walking down the street towards my perfect hiding spot in the bushes of her neighbour's house. I squinted out at the figure, whom became nothing more than a backlit silhouette beneath the street lights. As the figure grew nearer the sound of curses and panting filled the noiseless streetscape.

Upon closer inspection, the figure was carrying something in one hand while furiously wiping their brow with the other.

She stopped before Haruhi's house and stared at the unassuming little dwelling. She stooped over and tried to catch her breath after such a long walk and trudged along the path to the front door where she threw down the shoes she was carrying and dropped down onto the front step to once again catch a break.

I withdrew from the neighbour's bushes and strolled casually out onto her front lawn, offering a half-assed wave. "Hi. Did you have a nice walk?"

Because being a smart-ass is the most productive thing to do in a bad situation.

Haruhi snapped to attention and looked around in a daze, obviously not expecting a visitor at such a ridiculous hour. Once her eyes settled on me, her expression grew ashen and she choked out my name, uncertain whether to be surprised or furious.

I slowly approached her, my footfalls making loud crunching sounds. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier..."

"So that's why you're here...Who told you where I live?"

"A friend."

"Koizumi!"

That was a good guess...

I stood over Haruhi and offered my hand. She swatted it aside and stood up by herself, staring daggers at me in the darkness. A faint stabbing sensation seemed to radiate around my chest and I had to look down to make sure she hadn't actually cut me, but it seems it was all from the power of her glare and nothing more.

Such a frightening girl!

"I have nothing to say to you!" she snarled, oddly enough being considerate of her neighbours and being relatively quiet. Not to mention the irony of actually saying that to me, but now is not the time for semantics.

I simply laid a hand on her shoulder, the contact making her flinch. Our eyes met as the words rolled off my tongue and floated off in the twilight breeze.

"Haruhi...We need to talk..."

Her eyes seemed to lose focus and her gaze swept along the ground, unable to hold out against my own. With trembling lips and hands she backed up against the door, making more distance between us. When she was ready she gave me her best glare and snapped back at me.

"I only have one question. What is your relationship with that Mio girl?"

I knew she wouldn't let it drop, not after what happened on the drive back. Whatever she believes exists between Mio and me is the secret thorn in her side. But honestly she seems more sure about it than I am. I don't even know what our relationship is! In fact to use the word relationship feels wrong somehow...It's not like...Well...That!

Aren't we friends? But even that word seems to fall short of explaining what we've shared.

Haruhi wants a definitive answer but as it stands there isn't one to give. It's like asking the exact number of pi! What am I supposed to do? What does she want anyway? Why is Haruhi so damn spiteful towards Mio? Does she think I'm going to leave the SOS Brigade and become a roadie for Houkago Tea Time?

Wait a minute...

"Haruhi..." deep inhale, "You are my Brigade Chief. That's all you need to know."

Her face scrunched up and for a moment I feared my answer had only just made everything worse, but then her expression softened into a strained smile and a tiny laugh escaped.

"Kyon...You idiot."

I smiled right back at her and bowed deeply, "I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for causing all this trouble and...I suppose anything else that might have gotten you mad might as well be written off with me too."

Haruhi puffed her chest out with that pride that only she could muster and quietly declared, "Humph! A noble deed, minion. You may yet absolve your sins..." then her bravado seemed to waver as she began to blush, "But...Only if you come inside..."

I rolled my eyes and followed her inside the mysterious den of the damned otherwise referred to as Haruhi's house.

Shrunken heads, occult symbols, a mosaic of newspaper clippings about unidentified flying objects and alien sightings, star maps with highlighted regions and tiny flags, creepy dolls, cursed items, haunted objects and all manner of straight out weird stuff.

Try as I might I couldn't find anything like that inside Haruhi's house.

Am I lost? This can't be Haruhi's house! It's...It's...normal!

"What are you looking at?" Haruhi snapped, put off by my constantly wandering eyes.

I glanced over in her direction and frowned, "Sorry, I just thought your house would be...Different somehow..."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. With the way you go on and on about the unusual and unexplained I thought it would be more like a haunted house or something. It's shockingly reserved."

With a laugh Haruhi flicked her hair and educated the poor fool standing dumbfounded in her living room. "Well obviously! Why else do you think I want to find all that stuff? If I already had all that then what's the point in searching anymore?"

Ha...I guess that does make more sense. How foolish of me to assume the strangest girl in known existence to have a suitably strange home. That's so silly! That's what I get for applying logic to the world of Haruhi Suzumiya. But then, what she just said was sort of logical too right? Damn it! Now I'm confused all over again! Which one of us is the moron here?

"You make the dumbest faces when you space out like that..." Haruhi grumbled while wrestling out of her coat and draping it over the couch. She stifled a yawn and stared up at a clock on the wall.

"Geez, it's pretty late isn't it? Want something to drink?"

That was pretty surprising. Considering just hours ago this girl was close to tearing out my throat and now she was simply acting like nothing had ever happened. Am I supposed to believe she just wanted to get some exercise and so decided to get out of the car and walk for five hours? Well whatever, it's usually safer to play along with this one.

"Sure, I'll have tea."

She shook her head.

"I haven't got any tea."

"Ok, coffee?"

"Nope."

"Juice?"

"Oh I haven't had that in a while! Don't have any though."

Then what am I supposed to drink?!

Haruhi disappeared into the kitchen accompanied quite shortly by a cacophony of cluttering and banging. When she returned she brandished a large glass bottle, presented like a prize in a lottery. She even went so far as to pose and say, "Ta-dah!"

I instantly felt sick upon seeing the bottle.

"Is that wine?" I asked fearfully, pointing at the cursed thing as if it were about to bite me.

A cheeky grin spread across her face and made that nauseous feeling increase tenfold. On any other girl that smile would be pretty cute but on her it's the harbinger of destruction or something unbelievably stupid and humiliating. Either way it's always bad.

"Yeah, there isn't much left in this bottle but there's another one I haven't opened yet!"

Alright...First of all, where the Hell did that stuff come from? No matter how forceful you are, even the mighty leader of the SOS Brigade would be refused sale in any liquor store nationwide. Second, why do you even have that stuff?! I know my memory of that night is a haze as well, but surely you remember that hangover on our summer trip? Third, why would you offer me that stuff when you know damn well I swore never to touch another drop of that poison ever again! And finally, whether or not I accept it, you're gonna make me drink that aren't you?

Haruhi giggled and I smacked myself in the face.

This is going to be a long night...

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