Warning: This chapter is quite angsty and will contain details of abuse and violence. This may be a trigger for some people. Contains implied sexual assault but will not contain details.
Disclaimer:I do not own Harry Potter.
Harry sighed as he walked through the corridors, sopping wet, having just come back from his walk on the grounds but he got caught in a torrential downpour. He had wanted some time on his own. His and Ron's friendship was still fragile, and it could break at any minute so when he found himself getting annoyed, he excused himself and went for a walk.
Someone grabbed him from behind, arm pressing into his windpipe and another hand gripping his hair tightly. He felt warm breath on his neck. Before he knew what was happening, he was shoved into a broom cupboard, hitting his face on the wall and the door was locked. He heard Malfoys cold laugh and the thundering footfalls as they ran away.
Harry's heart raced as he tried to get the door open but he was stuck as there was no handle on the inside. He banged on the door, breathing becoming erratic as memories from his childhood washed over him, Vernon shouting, fists raining down on him, burns, cuts, the belt.
Being locked in a small, smelly cupboard on a cold, hard floor, left to bleed. The spiders crawled over his skin. He felt something on his arm and whimpered, scratching his arm. He continued banging on the cupboard door, becoming hysterical.
"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE!" Harry screamed, voice choking with his panic.
He sat on the floor, knees tucked under his chin, hands over his ears, eyes screwed tight shut and rocking back and forth. He whimpered, scratching at his arm as his panic overtook him.
"Help me please someone.. anyone." Harry whimpered, heck he would have even been grateful if Snape walked past now.
The cupboard door flew open and light flooded into the cupboard, blinding Harry, making him cringe back, bad memories still washing over him. He looked up, ready to thank his survivor and when he saw who it was, he burst into sobs.
Sirius reached in and pulled Harry to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around him, chin resting on his head. He rocked Harry back and forth, getting him through his panic attack.
"Shh Harry you're safe now." Sirius soothed, kissing the top of Harry's sweaty head.
"Sirius, help me.." Harry whimpered, clutching at his godfather.
"I'm here Harry, I'm here." said Sirius, voice cracking as he said it.
Sirius stood up, pulling Harry to his feet but keeping an arm wrapped firmly around his shoulders. Sirius gently led Harry through the corridors, glaring at anyone who stared at the boy-who-lived, an emotional mess. He got him to his quarters and sat down on the sofa, pulling Harry with him.
Harry buried his face in Sirius' shoulder, softly whimpering as his heart rate returned to normal. Sirius held him tight and let him sob out his emotions. Inwardly, Sirius was seething, he would find the little brat that did this and rip them limb from limb. But first he was going to comfort his distraught godson.
"I..it reminded me of the Dursley's. Uncle Vernon would always lock me in the cupboard after a beating...He..he," Harry's voice faltered and sat up, eyes wide "I can't say it.." said Harry, becoming panicky again.
"Hey, it's okay you don't need to say it," Sirius soothed "If you want someone to know then we'll think of something."
Harry looked gratefully at Sirius "H..how?"
"I'll talk to Professor Dumbledore." he said, stroking a lock of hair from Harry's face.
Harry looked horrified at that. But knowing that Dumbledore knew of the abuse, Harry reluctantly nodded. Sirius smiled proudly at him.
"I'm so proud of you. You are so very proud." he said, voice thick with emotion.
"No I'm not." Harry muttered, looking down at his lap, picking at a hangnail.
Sirius took Harry's hand, putting it gently in his lap "Yes you are. It is very hard telling someone of abuse."
Harry shuddered but said nothing. Just looked back down at his lap.
"Who did this to you?" said Sirius, eyes full of compassion.
"Malfoy I think." Harry muttered
Sirius felt white hot anger that filled the pit of his stomach, making him shake and clench his fists. Harry saw this and moved away from him, hands focused on his fists. Sirius felt instantly guilty and swallowed, pulling Harry gently to him.
"Don't worry I will never hurt you. I promise you." said Sirius, stroking Harry's back.
Harry closed his eyes, exhausted and nodded. Sirius held him tighter and kissed the top of his messy head, trying to calm his shaking godson.
"We'll deal with Malfoy, he won't know what's hit him. Well except for prank spells from all sides of course." said Sirius.
Harry giggled appreciatively, smiling up at his godfather. This made Sirius' heart swell. He loved this boy so much. The door opened and Remus walked in, smiling gently but when he saw Harry, eyes puffy from crying and Sirius holding him in his arms, his smile dropped.
"What's happened?" he said, sitting in the armchair and leaning forwards.
"I'll tell you later." said Sirius, gesturing to Harry who had tensed in his arms.
Remus nodded to show his understanding and smiled gently at Harry.
"How about a hot chocolate?" said Remus.
Harry sat up and smiled weakly at Remus. He wiped his eyes and nodded.
"Yes please." said Harry shyly.
Remus smiled and bustled off to make Harry's drink. Sirius tried to cheer Harry up by regaling him with stories of pranks he played as a schoolboy. When Remus entered, carrying a tray with three steaming mugs and a plate of biscuits, he found a very different boy. One who was smiling and laughing, yet he could see the sadness lingering behind his eyes.
Harry sipped his drink slowly, eyes slipping from Remus to Sirius who were watching him, worried. He finished his drink and leant back against the sofa, closing his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired.
"Why don't you go and get some sleep?" said Sirius, taking the empty mug and setting it on the table.
"M'kay." Harry mumbled, stumbling to his feet.
Sirius rose to his feet as well, following Harry to the spare bedroom. He pulled out a pair of pyjamas while Harry went into the bathroom and left the room so as to give him some privacy. Harry stepped out, looking thoroughly exhausted.
Sirius held his arms out and Harry stepped forwards, hugging him for a few seconds before pulling back and going back into the bedroom. Sirius followed and sat on the bed, stroking Harry's hair as he fell asleep.
Sirius turned to Remus with tear filled eyes. Remus himself looked upset but he had to stay strong for Sirius, his best friend.
"I don't know what to do for him Remus." said Sirius, leaning forwards and putting his head in his hands "He was doing so well and now that little..."
Sirius stopped himself, breathing heavily. Remus got up from the armchair and sat down next to Sirius, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Harry is a strong person, he'll get through this like he did last time. He is an abused child so it will take a while." said Remus, firmly but gently.
Sirius looked at Remus, eyes pleading.
"I failed him Remus, when I opened that cupboard he looked so scared, like he thought I was his uncle." said Sirius, voice full of a sadness that broke Remus' heart.
"A situation that reminds him of his abuse will cause him to regress and be locked in bad memories. It will take time, but Harry will heal." said Remus, ever the wise one.
"I never fully healed." said Sirius, absent mindedly rubbing the large scar that snaked it's way up his arm.
"No, the memories will still be there and sometimes you may still be traumatised but it does get better." said Remus, not knowing what to do for the distraught man.
Sirius turned to Remus, eyes searching for an answer. He seemed nervous and so very sad as he looked at his best friend.
"What if I can't fix him? What if he ends up a basket case like me?" said Sirius, looking downhearted.
"One you are not a basket case and two you already have in so many ways. When he first came to us, he was jumpy, flinching if anyone made quick movements and he was haunted by nightmares. He's a completely different person."
Sirius sighed and shook his head "You know? I remembered every bad memory from my childhood when I was in Azkaban. Every beating, every cruel world, and then it went onto finding James and Lily dead, staring at nothing..." Sirius' voice broke at that point, unable to continue.
"You will fix each other, just give it time." said Remus, fighting tears himself as he comforted Sirius.
"It's my fault, if I hadn't gone after the rat, then I would have been able to protect Harry from the abuse. If I hadn't switched secret keepers, Harry would have his parents."
"Sirius listen to me, Lily and James' deaths were not your fault, they were Pettigrews and Voldemorts, you had no idea that would happen, and as for the Pettigrew thing, you were angry and you were grieving, I would have done the same. Heck if id have known I would have ripped him limb from limb."
"You're a great friend you know that?" said Sirius, smiling slightly at his best friend.
"So I've been told." chuckled Remus.
Sirius pushed him playfully and then stared into the crackling fire, thoughts rushing through his head. Not long after, Remus went home and Sirius went to bed. Nightmares filled his sleep that night.
He dreamt he was in a dark, cold room. The room was damp and had a thick sludge dripping down it, making Sirius feel queasy. He was laying on a cold, hard surface, tethered to it and unable to move. He writhed and shook, trying to get free but it was hopeless, he was stuck.
Banging and clanking could be heard down the corridor, Sirius whimpered in the pitch dark, his twelve year old self terrified. The clanking was getting closer, heavy footsteps approaching, bringing the pain that was sure to come closer and closer.
The lock clicked and the door flew open, hitting the wall with a resounding crash and bouncing forwards. Light flooded into the room, blinding Sirius for a few seconds, his watering eyes made out the silhouette of his father, towering over him in the doorway, belt in one hand, poker in the other.
Sirius immediately began struggling again, desperate to escape but it was hopeless, he was stuck. He screwed his eyes shut as his father grew closer, eyes utterly mad, drool dripping down his chin.
"How dare you betray this family! How dare! Gryffindor hey? Well let's see how you like this." said Orion coldly.
He began to hit every part of Sirius he could reach with the belt, his stomach, chest, face, neck, hands, legs feet. Sirius was screaming, begging him to stop. His father just laughed cruelly and continued. He then picked up the poker, heated it with his wand and pressed it to Sirius' forearm, dragging it up to the crook of his elbow before dropping it.
He spat on Sirius and left the room, slamming and locking the door. Sirius whimpered in the dank, dark room.
Sirius sat up with a gasp, eyes wild and heart racing as he took in his surroundings. He took in his bedroom and sighed, realising he'd had another nightmare from his childhood. He ran his fingers through his hair and checked the clock, 3AM. He sighed, frustrated with himself and climbed out of bed.
He went into the kitchen and pulled the dreamless sleep potion out of the cupboard. He shuffled back to his bedroom and downed the potion. His eyes drooped and his head felt heavy as he fell back onto the pillows, snoring gently.
-xxx-
He was awoken by a timid knock on his bedroom door, requesting entry. He groaned and sat up in bed, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
"Come in." he muttered sleepily, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
The door opened and Harry sidled in, closing the door softly and leaning against it. His hair was sticking up at the back and one of his pyjama legs were halfway up his leg. Sirius smiled warmly at his godson and beckoned him over.
Harry walked over and perched on the end of the bed, fiddling with his fingernails.
"What's up Harry?" said Sirius, feeling concerned.
"I just wanted to speak to you." said Harry, biting his bottom lip and looking nervously at his godfather.
Sirius smiled and moved aside, patting the space next to him. Harry smiled slightly and clambered into bed next to Sirius, resting his head on his shoulder. Sirius wrapped his arm around his shoulder, smiling fondly at his godsons prone form.
"How...how..will..P..professor Dumbledore see what happened with y..you know." said Harry, stomach churning with nerves.
Sirius thought about this, extracting the memories was out of the question, taking away thirteen years worth of memories was a really bad idea, it could seriously damage Harry. No they couldn't take the memories, they had to do something else. Sirius came to a conclusion.
"He will probably use Legillimency." said Sirius.
"What's that?" Harry frowned.
"It's where a witch or wizard looks into someone's mind. Professor Dumbledore is very accomplished at it." replied Sirius.
"Oh." said Harry, trying to fight the huge pit of nerves that had settled somewhere around his midriff.
Sirius squeezed his shoulders comfortingly, sensing his godsons discomfort. Harry smiled gratefully at Sirius and slipped out of bed. At Sirius' question glance, Harry smiled.
"I need to get ready for lessons." said Harry, smiling at Sirius.
Sirius smiled and sent him on his way. He too had to get ready for lessons. As he was pulling on his midnight blue robes, a handsome barn owl flew through the window and dropped a letter on the bed before taking off again.
Sirius picked the letter up again and unfurled the parchment, eyes scanning the page.
Sirius,
Remus talked to me last night and told me of the incident with Harry. He also expressed Harry's wish for me to view his memories.
Vernon Dursley and Petunia Dursley are due to appear in court this week and Harry has been called as a witness, so this would help the case against them. I would appreciate it if you brought Harry along to my office after lessons today.
Regards,
Albus Dumbledore.
Sirius read the slanting handwriting of his ex headmaster wearily. This was going to be so hard on Harry but it needed to be done. Sighing, Sirius tucked the note into his robes and left the room, ready for teaching.
-xxx-
Harry was fidgeting in his chair, hands planted in his lap and feet tapping on the wooden floor of Professor Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was sat in front of him, smiling kindly at him and Sirius stood behind him, hands on his shoulders.
"All right Harry I want you to relax and look me in the eye. You do not need to think of the memories."
Harry nodded nervously and looked into his headmasters kind, blue, twinkling eyes. He felt as if he was being x-rayed.
"Legillimens." said Dumbledore, wand pointed at Harry's forehead.
Harry felt as if someone was knocking on his sunconscious, it felt strange but he relaxed and let Dumbledore in.
Dumbeldore was in a dark room with no windows and doors, bubbles floated past his head, taunting him, within the bubbles, were memories and thoughts. He stepped forwards into one bubble and was immediately sucked into the memory.
Harry looked to be about eight and he was scrubbing the toilet clean, his hands were red from using the cleaning products without gloves and he was shaking. Dumbledore could feel the despair and hopelessness.
Suddenly, the door burst open and a fat muggle entered the room. Harry shot back, utterly terrified and pressed himself against the bathtub. Vernon advanced on him, manic glint in his eye.
"Oh you've done it now you little freak." spat his uncle.
Dumbledore could feel the terror Harry was experiencing.
"D..done what?" Harry stammered.
Vernon did not answer, he just drew his fist back and punched Harry, three times in the face. Harry screamed and scrambled to get away. Vernon grabbed him by the ankle, causing him to hit his forehead on the floor.
"You stole Dudley's grades. You'll pay." snarled his uncle.
He raised his fist and started hitting him repeatedly, Harry curled up into a ball.
Memory after memory Dumbledore went through, each more horrific than the last. It was hard to watch. He got to one memory and he could feel Harry resisting it.
Harry laying on the floor in a dark bedroom, breath coming in sharp gasps. The door opened and Vernon entered, undoing his pants...
"NO!" Dumbledore was forced from Harry's mind, stumbling backwards into the desk.
Harry sat with his head in his hands, breathing erraticly and clutching his head. It hurt where Dumbledore had gone into his mind and his head was reeling with all of his memories. Dumbledore crouched in front of him, tears in his eyes.
"Harry.." he began softly.
"Please, please don't make me." whimpered Harry, tears dripping down his face.
Sirius immediately went round the front of the chair, gently pushing Dumbledore out of the way who stood up, tear falling from his eye and into his beard. Sirius crouched in front of Harry and gently grabbed his upper arms, eyes full of compassion.
"It's okay Harry, you don't have to show anymore." he said soothingly.
Harry dove forward and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, burying his face in his shoulder and shuddering with sobs. Sirius held him tightly and stroked the back of his head, whispering reassurances into his ear.
He then lifted Harry up and onto the chair, sitting in the chair next to him. He looked to Dumbledore and he mouthed "Later."
"Harry," began Professor Dumbledore slowly "I'm going to need you to be brave for me. Would you be willing to testify in a muggle court? To see justice done? I am afraid you will have to relive these memories."
Harry shuddered and nodded, a lone tear trickling down his face. Dumbledore smiled proudly at him and squeezed his shoulder, heart breaking when Harry flinched slightly. Sirius wrapped an arm round him, fighting tears.
"You truly are your fathers son." whispered Sirius, eyes full of pride.
Harry blushed slightly but smiled nonetheless. Sirius patted Harry's shoulder.
"Why don't you go find Ron and Hermione? I need a word with Professor Dumbledore." said Sirius, squeezing Harry's hand.
Harry nodded and slowly left the room, casting anxious glances at his godfather and headmaster.
"What did you see Professor?" he said, when the door had clicked shut.
"You will not like what you are about to hear but..."
-xxx-
Sirius felt physically sick when he left Dumbledore's office an hour later. It took all of Sirius' willpower not to march up to High down prison and rip that vile excuse for a man's head off and then march off to the other muggle prison and rip that sorry excuse for a woman to pieces.
But he couldn't, he couldn't afford to go back to Azkaban. Harry needed him, now more than ever. He would be there for Harry until the day he died.