Title: Picking Up the Pieces Chapter 21
Author: Dawn
Summary: Spike finds something to live for when he thinks that there is nothing left. S/D friendship. Takes place after "As You Were". AU after that.
Spoilers: Anything before "As You Were" is fair game.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss still owns it.
Distribution: Anywhere but please ask first.
Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews.
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Dawn was a nervous wreck by the time Spike told her they should get going. They were going to meet with Buffy early so they could set up a plan. Spike looked over at Dawn as they walked down the street to the house. Her head was down and she was dragging her feet so bad it would take them half an hour for a ten-minute trip.
"Come on luv." He threw an arm across her shoulders to force her to pick up the pace. "Just relax okay? You've got nothing to worry about. Buffy and I will be there the whole time. We're not gonna leave you alone with him for a second. And if he tries to get out the door with you then he'll have me to deal with." He assured her. She tried to smile at him but her mouth only seemed to be able to go in a downward direction at the moment.
When they finally got to the house they went in the back just in case Hank had beat them there. Buffy was standing at the counter with Giles.
"All right. Let's get this party started." Spike said, slapping his hands together in anticipation.
"Actually, Giles and I have been talking and we think it would probably be for the best if you weren't there." Buffy knew he wouldn't like it and she could see the anger in his eyes already. But if her father got a load of him he would take Dawn away for sure, especially if he found out this is whom his youngest daughter was living with. She didn't really like it either but after listening to Giles explain the badness of it for like twenty minutes she saw his point.
"The hell I won't be. I promised her." Spike said firmly. Giles stepped forward.
"Spike, I know you want to be there for Dawn but this is a delicate situation. We want to give Mr. Summers no reason to be afraid or concerned about her. And if he were to find out the 'friend' she's been staying with is you, well then..." He left it hanging at that.
"What's wrong with me?" Spike asked indignantly. Three sets of eyes just starred at him as if to say 'Are you kidding me?'
Buffy could feel his frustration. He was like one of those big cats at the zoo, pacing back and forth and growling low in their throat looking for any chance to escape. He stood there clenching and unclenching his hands like they were around someone's throat; the muscle in his jaw twitching from the pressure he was putting on it. A small hand being laid on his arm and all the tension rushed out of him. He turned and met Dawn's frightened blue eyes.
"Maybe she's right. I don't want to give him any reason to take me away. But you could listen from in here." She offered trying to placate him. "I don't want you too far away."
He let out a frustrated breath and nodded. His reward was a bright little smile from her.
Buffy couldn't suppress the feeling of unease that passed over her at their little exchange. He wouldn't listen to her but one word from Dawn and he couldn't agree fast enough. She had to shake it off. Now wasn't the time. Tonight was too important for petty jealousy.
"Okay, so we go in loose. No antagonism. We don't make him think that we believe he's here to take her. He's just here to visit. The only thing he admitted to me today was that Social Services called him. They must be watching the house. I swear these guys are like the FBI or something." She said, the exasperation over the whole situation apparent in her voice.
With their battle plan ready they waited anxiously as the clock crawled toward seven. And of course, he was late. Fifteen minutes late to be exact. Typical was all Buffy could think.
He came in nervous. His palms were sweaty as he shook Giles' hand and his voice trembled as he greeted Buffy. His eyes landed on Dawn and went wide.
"My God, Dawnie, look at you! You've grown a foot! You're stunning, honey." Dawn could hear Spike's warning growl from the kitchen. She really wanted to be able to smile at this man and hug him and pretend that he was still her dad and she was still his little girl but there was too much pain to wade through to reach him. She simply nodded her head to accept his compliments. She fought the false memories in her head of sunny days at the beach and rides on the Ferris wheel at the boardwalk. Technically this was the first time she'd ever really met Hank Summers. She had to remember that. Maybe then it wouldn't be so painful.
"Do you guys really have a dog?" Hank asked Buffy, trying to peer over her shoulder into the kitchen.
"Um, we can sit down." Buffy said quickly to distract her father from the threatening noises coming from the other room. They filed into the den and Buffy let Dawn have the armchair so she wouldn't have to sit next to their father on the couch. Giles took up a position by the French doors leading into the living room so he could keep an eye on Spike who was now pacing in the kitchen.
"Dawnie I can't believe how much you've changed." Hank said again.
"Yeah, time tends to do that to people." Dawn muttered under her breath but not low enough because everyone heard her. Hank cleared his throat and started wringing his hands together.
"So, how's school going? The principal said you had some trouble." Dawn looked to Buffy and she just nodded her head to let Dawn know it was okay to be honest.
"Well, it's kind of hard to concentrate on school after your mom dies." She tried not to make it sound so bitter but how else could it come out?
"Right, yes I completely understand that. But he said you're doing much better now." Hank rushed to say.
"Yeah, I've had a lot of support from people who love me." She had said it to hurt him and she could tell by the way he winced that she had hit her mark.
"Good, I'm glad. He said you were doing very well now." He repeated. He paused for a moment as if weighing his next words carefully. "He said you've come to school several days with bruises." You could hear a pin drop. There was complete silence and Dawn floundered with what to say. She looked towards the door wanting desperately to run and find Spike so he could make all this stop.
" Training." Dawn said quickly. Giles and Buffy sighed in relief.
"Training? For what, boxing?" Hank asked with suspicion.
"Uh, yeah actually. Kick boxing. For self defense." Dawn added. She had completely pulled all of this out of the air of course. She and Spike hadn't even begun to train yet but at least it had given her the idea for the current lie.
"Wow. That's something. Well I guess that would explain the bruises then huh?" He almost sounded disappointed. "It seems like everything is going pretty good here then. I don't know if Buffy told you but Social Services called me the other day. They said they had some concerns about you. They had been in touch with your principal and the guidance counselor. They said you'd missed some school lately and looked as if you'd been in a fight." Hank explained.
"I was sick. I only missed a few days. They're obviously over-reacting. I'm fine and I haven't been out for weeks now. Dad, really, I'm fine. There is nothing going on that you should worry about. Buffy is taking good care of me." It was hard to get that out considering what had gone on in the past few weeks but she was learning to lie very well. She heard a snort from the kitchen.
"I know honey I'm just worried about you." Dawn felt her face go red. He was worried about her? Since when! She hadn't talked to him once in years. He had cut them off even before her mother had gotten sick. And now he was worried about her? She had tried to be good, really she had. But she just couldn't let it go anymore.
"Yeah, well don't start now. You can go back to LA and continue on because we're all just fine here. You can leave a check behind though cause all we really need from you is money. That way you don't have to be emotionally involved." Dawn said harshly. Buffy kind of felt sorry for the guy. He looked like he'd been sucker punched. But what did he honestly expect?
"Dawn, please sweetie, don't be like that..."
Buffy let her eyes slide shut. This was not going to be pretty.
"Don't be like that? Who are you trying to kid, huh? I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am at you. You don't even want me to start cause it could go on for days!" Dawn's voice rose the more she got into it. She was perched on the edge of her seat as if any minute she would jump at him.
"It must be so easy for you. You just go through every day pretending we don't even exist. We called every single day for weeks, left messages with everyone in your office and half of Spain. We needed you! How can you not see that? We needed our father. And you didn't come. You never called or anything. I mean how could you do that to us? How could any father do that to his children? Okay, so you didn't get along with mom. That I get but we're yours! And now you come down here with vague accusations and hidden threats. No, I don't think so. Just get up, get in your car and go back to pretending you don't have a family." She spat out at him before jumping up and running out of the room.
Hank made to go after her but Buffy knew Spike would be taking care of it. She reached out a hand and laid it firmly on his arm. He was surprised when she actually held him in his seat.
"Don't. I told you this would happen. I warned you and you insisted anyway." Buffy reminded him. He looked at her with pain filled eyes and sat back burying his head in his hands.
Dawn ran by Spike so fast he didn't have time to reach out and catch her. She was down the steps before he finally slipped an arm around her waist to stop her. She fought him briefly but he just held on until all the fight went out of her and she sagged against him crying. He'd heard the whole thing of course and had been cheering her on with every truth that left her mouth but he had known it was leading to a meltdown.
"Shhh, pet. It's all right now. You're all right. He's not worth it, luv. Not worth a bit of this." He hadn't meant for it to come out so rough but he couldn't help it. He was livid that her father had the power to tear her apart like this. The rage was welling up and the demon in him was urging him to go inside and make a meal of one Hank Summers. He could feel his face shifting and he tried to shake it away.
He felt soft hands against his cheeks suddenly and looked down to find Dawn gazing up at him with frightened blue eyes.
"You're right, he's not worth it." She agreed, running her fingers over the ridges in his face until they melted away.
"I know I should feel nothing. I shouldn't even care but no matter how much I tell myself that he's not really my father it still hurts that he could do this to us. Too many memories. There are just so many. And now, it's as if I don't matter. I'm not worth loving to him." Her voice echoed with an overwhelming sadness. She had not lost just one parent but both of them. Spike hugged her to him so tight she whimpered.
"Don't you believe that for a second. He's a selfish bastard and has been all his life I'd wager. People like him don't really love anything or anyone but themselves. It has nothing to do with you." He said fiercely pressing light kisses on top of her dark hair. She buried her face in the cotton of his shirt and tried to draw from him the love she needed to feel right now.
That's how Buffy found them, wrapped around each other in the glow of the kitchen light. She stepped out of their line of sight for a moment to gather herself together. Everyone thought she was so strong, that she could deal with all this without someone to lean on, but it just wasn't so. She desperately wished it were her enfolded in his arms and being told how much she was loved. Through all of this her father had not once apologized to her for not being there. His only interest seemed to be in Dawn and it cut through her deeply. Buffy was his real daughter and he didn't even care what she thought of the whole situation. She took a deep breath and brushed at the tears threatening to spill over. She stepped into the doorway and cleared her throat. Spike looked over his shoulder and saw her. He lifted Dawn's chin with one finger and whispered something to her. Again, Buffy felt the jealousy turn in her. With her hand in his, Spike pulled Dawn up on the porch.
Buffy smiled weakly at Dawn and gave her a brief hug of her own.
"Is he still here?" The younger Summers asked.
"Yeah, he's talking with Giles. He's not gonna stick around much longer. I think he realized how stupid it was to even come here. They're discussing our finances. He at least wants to step up where money is concerned. But who knows how long that will last. Once he gets back to LA we'll probably never hear from him again." Buffy couldn't control the angry bitterness of her tone. She knew she should probably curb it in front of Dawn but she didn't want to pretend she was happy with their father either.
"Well let's get the goodbyes over with so he can leave us alone." Dawn headed toward the den leaving Buffy and Spike alone. They shuffled nervously around each other until Buffy finally spoke.
"Thank you for being there for her. I know this has been quite a shock for her."
"And for you too." Spike added. He could see the lines of strain around her eyes and mouth. She looked drained.
"Yeah, I gotta admit he was the one thing I was not expecting to be hit with." She gripped her upper arms and rubbed at the sudden chill.
"You handled it all really well Buffy. You kept your cool and let him see that it's not just you who's disappointed in him. It needed to come from Dawn for him to believe it. I know it hasn't been easy. Especially when you have it in your power to really hurt him." She let her eyes fall shut. He understood. He'd understood this whole time. She couldn't stop her lower lip from trembling and several tears from slipping out. She felt his cool palm against her face. She opened her eyes and saw the uncertainty on his face.
"Buffy, I want to but ...." He started but she shook her head quickly and his hand fell away.
"I know. This is my fault. I made it this way. I know you would be my comforter too if I hadn't made you afraid of the consequences of showing me any kindness."
"Are you guys coming?" Dawn asked from the doorway. Buffy gave him a longing look and then turned to follow Dawn. She would have to find solace somewhere else.
The two girls entered the living room just as Hank was standing to go. He came to stand in front of them and didn't exactly know what to do after that.
"Well, I'll let Social Services know that I don't think anything is wrong here. And I'm gonna start sending a check every week to help with expenses, and not just the ones for Dawn. For you too Buffy. Mr. Giles informed me of what you need so I'll be helping out with that from now on." They all just stood there not knowing what was supposed to come next.
"I know I messed up. I understand you're angry with me but I hope you'll at least talk to me if I call every now and then. I'm not gonna try to intrude on your lives. I'm past being completely forgiven I think but I'd like some contact with you if that's acceptable." Hank looked at his girls expectantly. Buffy gave Dawn a brief glance and then nodded.
"Okay then, I guess that's it. Mr. Giles it was nice to meet you again." The two men shook hands. "Buffy take care of yourself and Dawnie. I'll call next week." There were no hugs exchanged and Buffy wasn't about to count on anything from him. He waved again as he disappeared down the sidewalk to his car.
With a sigh of relief, Buffy shut the door. They all went back into the den and crashed on various surfaces. Buffy and Giles made it to the couch and Dawn to the armchair. Spike finally came back into the room.
"Well, I guess it went pretty well then. He left money and got off with a slight set down from Dawn. Could have been worse I guess." Spike said from the doorway. He was a little angry that Hank had walked away without an ass kicking.
"Yeah, well the state still looks down on murder and even beating someone to a bloody pulp." Buffy answered sarcastically.
"I'm just glad he's gone." Dawn said softly. Spike walked over to the chair she was sitting in and perched on the arm to be closer to her.
"I second that." Giles added, removing his glasses to clean then on the hem of his shirt.
They all sat in a comfortable silence just contemplating what could have happened and being glad they had all escaped from this unscathed. Spike finally stood.
"Well, it's been fun but it's getting late and Dawn's got school tomorrow."
"Actually, Spike I think I'll crash here tonight." She said, grasping his hand in hers and begging him with her eyes to understand. She didn't want Buffy to be alone. Her sister had too much on her shoulders and no one to unburden herself on. Dawn wanted to be there for at least this. He squeezed her hand to let her know he got it.
"Okay, that's fine. Do you need anything from the apartment?" He asked.
"No, I'm all right. I'll come by after school tomorrow, okay?" He nodded and after goodbyes to Buffy and Giles he left, but not to go home, at least not yet. He had some unfinished business to take care of. He took off after the car that had just recently pulled out of Buffy's driveway.
Hank Summers was staying at one of the nicer hotels in Sunnydale. Spike followed him up to his room and watched as he inserted his key and disappeared inside. With an evil grin, Spike headed to the liquor store nearby. He stole 3 bottles of cheap whiskey and let himself into Hank's car. He poured generous amounts of alcohol over the upholstery and in the floorboards and hid the bottles under the seat. Next, he used a pocketknife to slash all four tires. He then proceeded to shatter the windshield with a nice sized rock from the parking lot. Yeah it was juvenile but he never claimed to be mature. And it sure as hell made him feel better. He would have set the thing on fire but he didn't want the whole place burning to the ground although that would be fun too. He might not be able to lay a finger on this guy but there were more ways than one to hurt somebody.
He stood for just a moment admiring his handy work and then glanced up at the night sky.
"That one's for you Joyce."
Feeing a little better about the way the night had turned out, he straightened his duster and headed back to his empty apartment.
After his patrol of the grounds, Spike wound up on the couch in front of the TV but it was no fun without Dawn there. He paced around the apartment a few times before finally giving up and going to her room. He opened the door and breathed in the scent of her. He went further in and sat down on the bed glancing around the room at all her things. He noticed that the room she'd made here was a lot less little girlish than her room at home. She'd chosen warm colors and Ansel Adams prints for her walls. She said they made her feel sad somehow, done in black and white with solitary settings. Places you'd go to escape. He wished he could take her there now.
He got up and went back to the den. He thought about heading out to the bar. He hadn't seen Clem in forever and his poker game was pathetic. But somehow he didn't have the motivation. It was so quiet here without her. So empty. He lasted until around three am and then he couldn't take it anymore. He headed out the door and walked the short distance to Buffy's house. He was up the trellis at the back of the house and easing Dawn's window open before anyone could notice anything strange. He wondered if she'd left the window open just for him. He slipped into the cool room and his eyes adjusted quickly to the weak moonlit space. He could see her outlined under the comforter.
He moved to the bed and watched her as he did almost every night. He knew what she'd said the night before. No more. But this wasn't sexual; this was a different thing all together. He needed to be near her, to hear her breathe. He needed the scent of her surrounding him. He needed to be touching her. He crawled into the bed behind her after taking off his coat and kicking off his boots. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled against her hair as she snuggled back against him sighing in her sleep. He knew he shouldn't be tired. His bedtime was about three hours away but just being here with her relaxed him to the point of being able to drift off.
Buffy woke suddenly in the next room. She could swear she had heard something. She pushed the covers off and got to her door opening it slowly. She didn't hear anything now. She walked out into the hallway and went downstairs to check the doors. Everything was locked up tight. She walked back up the steps, her feet cold against the wood, and decided to check in on Dawn before going back to her room.
They'd had a really good talk after Spike and Giles left even laughing a little at their father's expense. It was good to have her home again.
Buffy turned the knob and pushed the door open slightly so that just a tiny bit of light could enter the room. Her heart sunk at what she found. She saw the black boots first and then the coat lying across Dawn's desk chair. Her eyes went next to the bed and could see Spike's arm thrown over her sister's waist and holding her tightly to him. She stifled the tears that welled up and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He hadn't been here before. She'd checked on Dawn just two hours ago. He hadn't been able to do without her for even one night. God, that should be her. He should be lying in her bed under passion-warmed blankets whispering about everything and nothing so as not to wake Dawn.
She wouldn't disturb them. She wasn't going to be the bad guy in this and push him further away. She closed the door and leaned her forehead against the wood. She fought back the grief and after a few deep breaths she lifted her head and went back to her room. Sleep was a long time coming.
TBC
Author: Dawn
Summary: Spike finds something to live for when he thinks that there is nothing left. S/D friendship. Takes place after "As You Were". AU after that.
Spoilers: Anything before "As You Were" is fair game.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Joss still owns it.
Distribution: Anywhere but please ask first.
Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews.
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Dawn was a nervous wreck by the time Spike told her they should get going. They were going to meet with Buffy early so they could set up a plan. Spike looked over at Dawn as they walked down the street to the house. Her head was down and she was dragging her feet so bad it would take them half an hour for a ten-minute trip.
"Come on luv." He threw an arm across her shoulders to force her to pick up the pace. "Just relax okay? You've got nothing to worry about. Buffy and I will be there the whole time. We're not gonna leave you alone with him for a second. And if he tries to get out the door with you then he'll have me to deal with." He assured her. She tried to smile at him but her mouth only seemed to be able to go in a downward direction at the moment.
When they finally got to the house they went in the back just in case Hank had beat them there. Buffy was standing at the counter with Giles.
"All right. Let's get this party started." Spike said, slapping his hands together in anticipation.
"Actually, Giles and I have been talking and we think it would probably be for the best if you weren't there." Buffy knew he wouldn't like it and she could see the anger in his eyes already. But if her father got a load of him he would take Dawn away for sure, especially if he found out this is whom his youngest daughter was living with. She didn't really like it either but after listening to Giles explain the badness of it for like twenty minutes she saw his point.
"The hell I won't be. I promised her." Spike said firmly. Giles stepped forward.
"Spike, I know you want to be there for Dawn but this is a delicate situation. We want to give Mr. Summers no reason to be afraid or concerned about her. And if he were to find out the 'friend' she's been staying with is you, well then..." He left it hanging at that.
"What's wrong with me?" Spike asked indignantly. Three sets of eyes just starred at him as if to say 'Are you kidding me?'
Buffy could feel his frustration. He was like one of those big cats at the zoo, pacing back and forth and growling low in their throat looking for any chance to escape. He stood there clenching and unclenching his hands like they were around someone's throat; the muscle in his jaw twitching from the pressure he was putting on it. A small hand being laid on his arm and all the tension rushed out of him. He turned and met Dawn's frightened blue eyes.
"Maybe she's right. I don't want to give him any reason to take me away. But you could listen from in here." She offered trying to placate him. "I don't want you too far away."
He let out a frustrated breath and nodded. His reward was a bright little smile from her.
Buffy couldn't suppress the feeling of unease that passed over her at their little exchange. He wouldn't listen to her but one word from Dawn and he couldn't agree fast enough. She had to shake it off. Now wasn't the time. Tonight was too important for petty jealousy.
"Okay, so we go in loose. No antagonism. We don't make him think that we believe he's here to take her. He's just here to visit. The only thing he admitted to me today was that Social Services called him. They must be watching the house. I swear these guys are like the FBI or something." She said, the exasperation over the whole situation apparent in her voice.
With their battle plan ready they waited anxiously as the clock crawled toward seven. And of course, he was late. Fifteen minutes late to be exact. Typical was all Buffy could think.
He came in nervous. His palms were sweaty as he shook Giles' hand and his voice trembled as he greeted Buffy. His eyes landed on Dawn and went wide.
"My God, Dawnie, look at you! You've grown a foot! You're stunning, honey." Dawn could hear Spike's warning growl from the kitchen. She really wanted to be able to smile at this man and hug him and pretend that he was still her dad and she was still his little girl but there was too much pain to wade through to reach him. She simply nodded her head to accept his compliments. She fought the false memories in her head of sunny days at the beach and rides on the Ferris wheel at the boardwalk. Technically this was the first time she'd ever really met Hank Summers. She had to remember that. Maybe then it wouldn't be so painful.
"Do you guys really have a dog?" Hank asked Buffy, trying to peer over her shoulder into the kitchen.
"Um, we can sit down." Buffy said quickly to distract her father from the threatening noises coming from the other room. They filed into the den and Buffy let Dawn have the armchair so she wouldn't have to sit next to their father on the couch. Giles took up a position by the French doors leading into the living room so he could keep an eye on Spike who was now pacing in the kitchen.
"Dawnie I can't believe how much you've changed." Hank said again.
"Yeah, time tends to do that to people." Dawn muttered under her breath but not low enough because everyone heard her. Hank cleared his throat and started wringing his hands together.
"So, how's school going? The principal said you had some trouble." Dawn looked to Buffy and she just nodded her head to let Dawn know it was okay to be honest.
"Well, it's kind of hard to concentrate on school after your mom dies." She tried not to make it sound so bitter but how else could it come out?
"Right, yes I completely understand that. But he said you're doing much better now." Hank rushed to say.
"Yeah, I've had a lot of support from people who love me." She had said it to hurt him and she could tell by the way he winced that she had hit her mark.
"Good, I'm glad. He said you were doing very well now." He repeated. He paused for a moment as if weighing his next words carefully. "He said you've come to school several days with bruises." You could hear a pin drop. There was complete silence and Dawn floundered with what to say. She looked towards the door wanting desperately to run and find Spike so he could make all this stop.
" Training." Dawn said quickly. Giles and Buffy sighed in relief.
"Training? For what, boxing?" Hank asked with suspicion.
"Uh, yeah actually. Kick boxing. For self defense." Dawn added. She had completely pulled all of this out of the air of course. She and Spike hadn't even begun to train yet but at least it had given her the idea for the current lie.
"Wow. That's something. Well I guess that would explain the bruises then huh?" He almost sounded disappointed. "It seems like everything is going pretty good here then. I don't know if Buffy told you but Social Services called me the other day. They said they had some concerns about you. They had been in touch with your principal and the guidance counselor. They said you'd missed some school lately and looked as if you'd been in a fight." Hank explained.
"I was sick. I only missed a few days. They're obviously over-reacting. I'm fine and I haven't been out for weeks now. Dad, really, I'm fine. There is nothing going on that you should worry about. Buffy is taking good care of me." It was hard to get that out considering what had gone on in the past few weeks but she was learning to lie very well. She heard a snort from the kitchen.
"I know honey I'm just worried about you." Dawn felt her face go red. He was worried about her? Since when! She hadn't talked to him once in years. He had cut them off even before her mother had gotten sick. And now he was worried about her? She had tried to be good, really she had. But she just couldn't let it go anymore.
"Yeah, well don't start now. You can go back to LA and continue on because we're all just fine here. You can leave a check behind though cause all we really need from you is money. That way you don't have to be emotionally involved." Dawn said harshly. Buffy kind of felt sorry for the guy. He looked like he'd been sucker punched. But what did he honestly expect?
"Dawn, please sweetie, don't be like that..."
Buffy let her eyes slide shut. This was not going to be pretty.
"Don't be like that? Who are you trying to kid, huh? I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am at you. You don't even want me to start cause it could go on for days!" Dawn's voice rose the more she got into it. She was perched on the edge of her seat as if any minute she would jump at him.
"It must be so easy for you. You just go through every day pretending we don't even exist. We called every single day for weeks, left messages with everyone in your office and half of Spain. We needed you! How can you not see that? We needed our father. And you didn't come. You never called or anything. I mean how could you do that to us? How could any father do that to his children? Okay, so you didn't get along with mom. That I get but we're yours! And now you come down here with vague accusations and hidden threats. No, I don't think so. Just get up, get in your car and go back to pretending you don't have a family." She spat out at him before jumping up and running out of the room.
Hank made to go after her but Buffy knew Spike would be taking care of it. She reached out a hand and laid it firmly on his arm. He was surprised when she actually held him in his seat.
"Don't. I told you this would happen. I warned you and you insisted anyway." Buffy reminded him. He looked at her with pain filled eyes and sat back burying his head in his hands.
Dawn ran by Spike so fast he didn't have time to reach out and catch her. She was down the steps before he finally slipped an arm around her waist to stop her. She fought him briefly but he just held on until all the fight went out of her and she sagged against him crying. He'd heard the whole thing of course and had been cheering her on with every truth that left her mouth but he had known it was leading to a meltdown.
"Shhh, pet. It's all right now. You're all right. He's not worth it, luv. Not worth a bit of this." He hadn't meant for it to come out so rough but he couldn't help it. He was livid that her father had the power to tear her apart like this. The rage was welling up and the demon in him was urging him to go inside and make a meal of one Hank Summers. He could feel his face shifting and he tried to shake it away.
He felt soft hands against his cheeks suddenly and looked down to find Dawn gazing up at him with frightened blue eyes.
"You're right, he's not worth it." She agreed, running her fingers over the ridges in his face until they melted away.
"I know I should feel nothing. I shouldn't even care but no matter how much I tell myself that he's not really my father it still hurts that he could do this to us. Too many memories. There are just so many. And now, it's as if I don't matter. I'm not worth loving to him." Her voice echoed with an overwhelming sadness. She had not lost just one parent but both of them. Spike hugged her to him so tight she whimpered.
"Don't you believe that for a second. He's a selfish bastard and has been all his life I'd wager. People like him don't really love anything or anyone but themselves. It has nothing to do with you." He said fiercely pressing light kisses on top of her dark hair. She buried her face in the cotton of his shirt and tried to draw from him the love she needed to feel right now.
That's how Buffy found them, wrapped around each other in the glow of the kitchen light. She stepped out of their line of sight for a moment to gather herself together. Everyone thought she was so strong, that she could deal with all this without someone to lean on, but it just wasn't so. She desperately wished it were her enfolded in his arms and being told how much she was loved. Through all of this her father had not once apologized to her for not being there. His only interest seemed to be in Dawn and it cut through her deeply. Buffy was his real daughter and he didn't even care what she thought of the whole situation. She took a deep breath and brushed at the tears threatening to spill over. She stepped into the doorway and cleared her throat. Spike looked over his shoulder and saw her. He lifted Dawn's chin with one finger and whispered something to her. Again, Buffy felt the jealousy turn in her. With her hand in his, Spike pulled Dawn up on the porch.
Buffy smiled weakly at Dawn and gave her a brief hug of her own.
"Is he still here?" The younger Summers asked.
"Yeah, he's talking with Giles. He's not gonna stick around much longer. I think he realized how stupid it was to even come here. They're discussing our finances. He at least wants to step up where money is concerned. But who knows how long that will last. Once he gets back to LA we'll probably never hear from him again." Buffy couldn't control the angry bitterness of her tone. She knew she should probably curb it in front of Dawn but she didn't want to pretend she was happy with their father either.
"Well let's get the goodbyes over with so he can leave us alone." Dawn headed toward the den leaving Buffy and Spike alone. They shuffled nervously around each other until Buffy finally spoke.
"Thank you for being there for her. I know this has been quite a shock for her."
"And for you too." Spike added. He could see the lines of strain around her eyes and mouth. She looked drained.
"Yeah, I gotta admit he was the one thing I was not expecting to be hit with." She gripped her upper arms and rubbed at the sudden chill.
"You handled it all really well Buffy. You kept your cool and let him see that it's not just you who's disappointed in him. It needed to come from Dawn for him to believe it. I know it hasn't been easy. Especially when you have it in your power to really hurt him." She let her eyes fall shut. He understood. He'd understood this whole time. She couldn't stop her lower lip from trembling and several tears from slipping out. She felt his cool palm against her face. She opened her eyes and saw the uncertainty on his face.
"Buffy, I want to but ...." He started but she shook her head quickly and his hand fell away.
"I know. This is my fault. I made it this way. I know you would be my comforter too if I hadn't made you afraid of the consequences of showing me any kindness."
"Are you guys coming?" Dawn asked from the doorway. Buffy gave him a longing look and then turned to follow Dawn. She would have to find solace somewhere else.
The two girls entered the living room just as Hank was standing to go. He came to stand in front of them and didn't exactly know what to do after that.
"Well, I'll let Social Services know that I don't think anything is wrong here. And I'm gonna start sending a check every week to help with expenses, and not just the ones for Dawn. For you too Buffy. Mr. Giles informed me of what you need so I'll be helping out with that from now on." They all just stood there not knowing what was supposed to come next.
"I know I messed up. I understand you're angry with me but I hope you'll at least talk to me if I call every now and then. I'm not gonna try to intrude on your lives. I'm past being completely forgiven I think but I'd like some contact with you if that's acceptable." Hank looked at his girls expectantly. Buffy gave Dawn a brief glance and then nodded.
"Okay then, I guess that's it. Mr. Giles it was nice to meet you again." The two men shook hands. "Buffy take care of yourself and Dawnie. I'll call next week." There were no hugs exchanged and Buffy wasn't about to count on anything from him. He waved again as he disappeared down the sidewalk to his car.
With a sigh of relief, Buffy shut the door. They all went back into the den and crashed on various surfaces. Buffy and Giles made it to the couch and Dawn to the armchair. Spike finally came back into the room.
"Well, I guess it went pretty well then. He left money and got off with a slight set down from Dawn. Could have been worse I guess." Spike said from the doorway. He was a little angry that Hank had walked away without an ass kicking.
"Yeah, well the state still looks down on murder and even beating someone to a bloody pulp." Buffy answered sarcastically.
"I'm just glad he's gone." Dawn said softly. Spike walked over to the chair she was sitting in and perched on the arm to be closer to her.
"I second that." Giles added, removing his glasses to clean then on the hem of his shirt.
They all sat in a comfortable silence just contemplating what could have happened and being glad they had all escaped from this unscathed. Spike finally stood.
"Well, it's been fun but it's getting late and Dawn's got school tomorrow."
"Actually, Spike I think I'll crash here tonight." She said, grasping his hand in hers and begging him with her eyes to understand. She didn't want Buffy to be alone. Her sister had too much on her shoulders and no one to unburden herself on. Dawn wanted to be there for at least this. He squeezed her hand to let her know he got it.
"Okay, that's fine. Do you need anything from the apartment?" He asked.
"No, I'm all right. I'll come by after school tomorrow, okay?" He nodded and after goodbyes to Buffy and Giles he left, but not to go home, at least not yet. He had some unfinished business to take care of. He took off after the car that had just recently pulled out of Buffy's driveway.
Hank Summers was staying at one of the nicer hotels in Sunnydale. Spike followed him up to his room and watched as he inserted his key and disappeared inside. With an evil grin, Spike headed to the liquor store nearby. He stole 3 bottles of cheap whiskey and let himself into Hank's car. He poured generous amounts of alcohol over the upholstery and in the floorboards and hid the bottles under the seat. Next, he used a pocketknife to slash all four tires. He then proceeded to shatter the windshield with a nice sized rock from the parking lot. Yeah it was juvenile but he never claimed to be mature. And it sure as hell made him feel better. He would have set the thing on fire but he didn't want the whole place burning to the ground although that would be fun too. He might not be able to lay a finger on this guy but there were more ways than one to hurt somebody.
He stood for just a moment admiring his handy work and then glanced up at the night sky.
"That one's for you Joyce."
Feeing a little better about the way the night had turned out, he straightened his duster and headed back to his empty apartment.
After his patrol of the grounds, Spike wound up on the couch in front of the TV but it was no fun without Dawn there. He paced around the apartment a few times before finally giving up and going to her room. He opened the door and breathed in the scent of her. He went further in and sat down on the bed glancing around the room at all her things. He noticed that the room she'd made here was a lot less little girlish than her room at home. She'd chosen warm colors and Ansel Adams prints for her walls. She said they made her feel sad somehow, done in black and white with solitary settings. Places you'd go to escape. He wished he could take her there now.
He got up and went back to the den. He thought about heading out to the bar. He hadn't seen Clem in forever and his poker game was pathetic. But somehow he didn't have the motivation. It was so quiet here without her. So empty. He lasted until around three am and then he couldn't take it anymore. He headed out the door and walked the short distance to Buffy's house. He was up the trellis at the back of the house and easing Dawn's window open before anyone could notice anything strange. He wondered if she'd left the window open just for him. He slipped into the cool room and his eyes adjusted quickly to the weak moonlit space. He could see her outlined under the comforter.
He moved to the bed and watched her as he did almost every night. He knew what she'd said the night before. No more. But this wasn't sexual; this was a different thing all together. He needed to be near her, to hear her breathe. He needed the scent of her surrounding him. He needed to be touching her. He crawled into the bed behind her after taking off his coat and kicking off his boots. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled against her hair as she snuggled back against him sighing in her sleep. He knew he shouldn't be tired. His bedtime was about three hours away but just being here with her relaxed him to the point of being able to drift off.
Buffy woke suddenly in the next room. She could swear she had heard something. She pushed the covers off and got to her door opening it slowly. She didn't hear anything now. She walked out into the hallway and went downstairs to check the doors. Everything was locked up tight. She walked back up the steps, her feet cold against the wood, and decided to check in on Dawn before going back to her room.
They'd had a really good talk after Spike and Giles left even laughing a little at their father's expense. It was good to have her home again.
Buffy turned the knob and pushed the door open slightly so that just a tiny bit of light could enter the room. Her heart sunk at what she found. She saw the black boots first and then the coat lying across Dawn's desk chair. Her eyes went next to the bed and could see Spike's arm thrown over her sister's waist and holding her tightly to him. She stifled the tears that welled up and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He hadn't been here before. She'd checked on Dawn just two hours ago. He hadn't been able to do without her for even one night. God, that should be her. He should be lying in her bed under passion-warmed blankets whispering about everything and nothing so as not to wake Dawn.
She wouldn't disturb them. She wasn't going to be the bad guy in this and push him further away. She closed the door and leaned her forehead against the wood. She fought back the grief and after a few deep breaths she lifted her head and went back to her room. Sleep was a long time coming.
TBC