Chapter 19

When Steve entered the living room, Wanda was sitting comfortably on one of the couches scrolling through her phone. "So, you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you, I'm fine." Wanda finished scrolling through her phone and put it away. She started staring at Steve.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Steve inquired after he realized she was staring at him.

"No. Actually, you do, but everyone has two eyes, a nose, and a mouth."

"Haha, very funny," said Steve with sarcasm. "Why were you staring at me?"

"I'm waiting for your explanation, but I was also observing you."

"What is there to observe?"

"What is there not to observe? For one, you usually sit on the couch upon entering the living room, and this time you didn't. Instead, you're standing, hands in pocket, head slightly down with a mixture of happiness and regret in your eyes," she answered professionally.

Steve was taken aback. "How did you-"

"Oh, Steve," interrupted Wanda, "I'm your sister. I've seen all of your expressions and know your habits. So, I think you'd better get whatever is bothering you out in the open. You'll feel better."

Steve walked towards the couch and sat down. "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know everything, but you told me you'd only tell what you want me to know. I suggest you start by telling me why Natasha was here in the first place."

"Nata-" Steve stopped when he saw Wanda smirking and raising her eyebrows at him. He realized he was going to say "Natasha". "Miss Romanoff," Steve started again making sure to emphasize the name, "was here to talk about private ballet lessons for Livy once Livy starts school."

Seeing that Steve wasn't going to keep going, Wanda prodded, "And then?"

"Well, she saw my paintings and asked if I can design a poster for the ballet performance that they're going to have at the end of the course."

Again, Steve stopped causing Wanda to become impatient. "I know that's not it, so keep talking."

"After we talked about all that, she asked me about the picture on the side table, so I told her my story with Peggy. Then she told me her story. I guess it was the whole story because she started it from when she was a young girl. After that, I'm not sure what happened."

Wanda couldn't believe that Steve actually told someone about Peggy. "Wait, wait, wait. You told someone about Peggy?"

"Yes, I did."

"Steve, that's wonderful! You finally talked about her after so long! What made you do it?" Wanda was sitting at the edge of the couch eager to hear his answer.

Steve pondered a little before answering. "I'm not sure. I guess it just felt right."

"I see. Anyways, moving on, so she told you her story. What then?"

"Then…I'm sorry, Wanda, it's too embarrassing. I really don't know what happened." Steve looked down as if he were ashamed.

"Did you guys kiss?" Wanda asked in a whisper.

"No! Of course not!"

"Then why is it embarrassing?" Wanda smirked.

"Fine, I'll tell you. We-we-wegazedintoeachother'seyes," Steve mumbled rapidly.

"What did you say? I didn't understand you."

"I said, 'we gazed into each other's eyes,'" Steve pronounced each word clearly. "Happy now?"

Wanda was internally squealing with joy, but on the outside, she kept calm. "Really? For how long?"

"I'm not sure, but I think she broke the gaze and said she was going to leave. I accompanied her to the door, and I got lost in her smile. Before I knew it, we were leaning towards each other. My head was screaming, 'Don't do it! It's not right!' while in my heart, it felt that I was doing the right thing. You know the rest," Steve concluded. His cheeks had a light tint of red as he remembered what had happened earlier in the day.

"So, how do you feel about it now that you're thinking back on that?" Wanda couldn't help but ask.

"I feel confused and angry."

"Why do you feel angry?"

"I'm angry at myself because I have a girlfriend already, and I almost cheated on her today. Before you ask why I feel confused, I'll answer that. I feel confused because it felt like it was the right thing to do. I've never been able to relive the day Peggy died and the days following that day, but telling Nata-Miss Romanoff about it made me feel relieved. It was so simple."

"Okay, I get it, Steve. My last question is since when do you harbor feelings for Natasha?"

"I-I never said I have feelings for her," Steve nervously replied.

Wanda laughed. "You're still as naïve as can be. I see it with my own eyes, Steve. You're a blushing mess right now. I saw how you were staring at Natasha right now in the doorway. That look was a look exclusively for Peggy. I saw the drawing you drew of her. You've only ever drawn Peggy. I haven't seen a single drawing of Sharon, and now you have one of Natasha. You drew her with such preciseness. And you're going to tell me you don't have feelings for her when it's evident that you do?"

"Hold on. How did you know I drew Natasha?"

Wanda noticed that Steve used her first name, but decided not to comment. "Um, Stark showed it to me." She then realized that she was so focused on Steve's slip up that she didn't think of her answer first.

"Stark showed you the picture? When?"

"That isn't important right now. Stop avoiding the question. Since when do you have feelings for Natasha?"

"Do I really have to answer that question?" Steve whined.

"Yes, you do," said Wanda authoritatively.

"Ugh, fine. Since I first saw her," confessed Steve.

"Aww, so it was love at first sight," Wanda dreamily said.

"No, Wanda, it was not love. She's just a beautiful lady who happens to be Livy's ballet teacher. I'm not going to break up with Sharon to date someone I hardly know. Besides, I already made the choice to propose to Sharon which I'm pretty sure Bucky already told you about that. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to change my mind," Steve confidently said.

"Mark my words, Steve. You may say that absolutely nothing will change your mind, but if you two aren't meant to be together, you will change your mind. Plain and simple. Besides that, Maggie has a say in the decision too. If she doesn't want Sharon to be her new mom and you foolishly marry her, Maggie will be miserable for the rest of her life. I suggest you talk to Maggie about how she really feels about Sharon, but you make sure she doesn't hide anything. I know how she feels because she tells me, but it's not my place to tell you myself. You need to be careful that you don't ruin her life because if you do, she'll hate you forever." With that speech out of the way, Wanda got up and left Steve alone with his thoughts. Finally, she had the guts to voice the harsh truth to Steve, and she was hoping that he would listen. She cared too much for both Steve and Livy to see their lives get ruined.

Once Natasha got into her car after leaving Steve at the front door, she immediately called Clint. She needed to talk to someone about what just happened. She asked him to meet her at their regular Starbucks even though she would have preferred a bar. Since Clint would have to go to work the next day, she didn't want him to drink too much and get a hangover. She would have some Vodka later on.

Just as soon as Natasha got there she ordered a double Espresso and found an empty table. She was going over her schedule for the next week while waiting for Clint to arrive.

"Hey, Nat! How ya doin'?" asked Clint upon his arrival.

"As good as can be expected. How 'bout you? Did I interrupt you from something?"

"I would be great if I didn't get called into work on my day off. You see, it was my day off today, but the station stumbled upon a case which required my expertise, so they had no option but to call me."

"Oh, wow! I wonder how the police station ever functioned before you started working there," said Natasha sarcastically.

"I know right."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting your investigation."

"No need to apologize. I had just hit a dead end when you called, and I needed to step out for a break to clear my mind. Technically, you didn't interrupt anything." Clint smiled.

"Well, I'm not sure if you're going to leave with a clear mind," Nat said in a serious tone which caught Clint's attention.

Clint's face immediately radiated concern. "What happened? Did someone try to hurt you? Take advantage of you? Rob you? Threaten you?"

"Slow down, Clint. I know you're concerned. but it's not what you think it is. Just let me explain."

"I'm sorry. Go ahead, and tell me what's wrong."

Natasha sipped her coffee and took a deep breath. "So there's a young girl in my ballet class that has potential, and I went to visit her dad today to offer private classes once the girl starts kindergarten." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts, and Clint took the opportunity to ask her a question.

"That's a great thing you did. I don't see what's wrong with that."

"The problem is that this man is-how can I describe him?-he's like this overly handsome man. His body build is perfect. He has these gorgeous ocean blue eyes." Natasha sighed dreamily. Clint gave her a confused look. "Anyway, ever since I've met him, he was a mystery to me. I mean, he always had sadness behind those blue eyes of his. His smile would also be sad, but of course, he tried to hide it as best as he could. Also, his wife would never come around to pick up the girl; it would always be the girl's father. So, when I met up with Bruce last week, I saw him in the same restaurant we were in. He was dining with a beautiful blonde lady. I assumed it was his wife, but it turns out to his girlfriend. I left the restaurant thinking that the girl was her daughter. Today, he told me his story. Actually, I kind of asked about a picture frame he had. In the picture was a gorgeous brunette holding a baby and the girl's father. I asked him about it obviously not thinking that it could disturb his privacy. He was very opened about it. I found out that the lady he was dining with was not the girl's mother." She stopped again to take another sip of her coffee.

"I still don't see the problem." Clint was clearly perplexed.

"Well, that's not the problem. Ever since I met the man, I felt attracted to him, but I pushed those thoughts away because I assumed he was married. I mean, why would a handsome, perfect man like him be single? And he has a daughter. So, after he told me his story, he asked me about mine. You know as well as anyone that I don't like sharing it. But with this guy, I felt like I could tell him anything, so I went ahead. At the end, well, we started staring at each other until I broke it. I excused it by saying I had to leave, so he walked me to the door. I don't remember what he told me, but I know that he smiled. However, this smile was genuine. There was no pain or sadness. He looked truly happy. I got lost in that smile, and before I knew it, we were leaning into each other, our eyes darting back and forth from our lips to our eyes and back again. If it weren't for his sister arriving at that precise moment, I'm pretty sure we would have kissed. There, that is the problem."

"Ok, let me get this straight. There's this guy whose daughter attends your ballet classes. You went to his house for an offer, exchange life stories, and almost kiss. Where's the catch in all of that?"

Natasha let out a frustrated sigh. "Really, Clint? I was about to kiss a man that has a girlfriend, who has all the intention of marrying, at a time that we were both most vulnerable! The catch is that it felt like it was the right thing to do even though I know that he would be cheating on his girlfriend. I let my vulnerability show. I never ever do that! I don't know how I'm ever going to face him again." Natasha buried her head in her hands.

Clint didn't know what to say or do. He didn't know if she wanted him to comfort her or to lecture her. "Tasha, I know it's hard to open up to someone like that, but what if opening up to him helps you open up to others?"

"No, Clint. I don't want to go through the same thing I went through with Alexei again. I can't live that way."

"I understand, Tasha. You don't want to get hurt again, right?"

"Exactly. I can't open up myself again with someone who is still practically a stranger. I-I don't even know why I did in the first place."

"You said it yourself, it felt like the right thing to do. Look, I know this man has a girlfriend, but what if you two are meant to be together instead of his current girlfriend and him? Everything will work out."

"But what if it's not meant to be. I have to deal with the heartache of my feelings that I let surface. Now I know why Madame B always told us that love is for children. It's too complicated and hurtful."

"How about you talk to Laura about this. She'll be able to understand you better because she's a lady like you. I'm not very good with this type of stuff. Laura would be more than happy to help you out," suggested Clint.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think it would be better to just bury this in the past and never think or talk about it again," Natasha declined.

"Whatever makes you feel more comfortable. Just so you know, the offer will stay open if you change your mind." Clint looked at his watch. "Well, I'm going to go order a coffee, and I'll be on my way back to work. If you need anything, give Maria or me a call."

"Thanks, Clint, for taking the time off to listen to me," she thanked.

"Tasha, you're like a little sister to me. I'll always lend you a listening ear when you need one. Even if I am busy, I'll make time for you. You should know that by now."

"Yes, I do know that." Natasha and Clint both stood up and gave each other a hug.

"Take care, Nat."

"I will. You too. Make sure you focus on that case. We wouldn't want the detective with all the expertise to fail, now would we?" Natasha smirked.

"Oh, no, we wouldn't want that to happen." Clint smiled at her before heading up to order his coffee.

Natasha stayed sitting at the table and finished her coffee before heading home. She didn't know what would happen next, but hopefully, things wouldn't be awkward between Steve and her. She knew that they could become great friends as long as they put the incident of the day behind them. But would it be so easy to bury that memory and those feelings, and pretend nothing happened?

So, this chapter was supposed to go up yesterday, but I finished it kind of late last night. (I got side-tracked with Chris and Scarlett's ET interview. If you haven't watched it yet, you should.) It was time for me to go to bed when I finished it, so I decided to post it this morning. Better late than never, right?