Bugeater stormed into where Tigerstar was teaching his kits all things evil.
He grabbed Theloyalbrambleclawpaw, and held a claw up to his throat.
"Repent for your murders, or your son dies!"
"What murders?" Tigerstar meowed, scratching his head with confusion.
"Um, Gorsepaw, Runningwind, whoever else you killed," Bugeater growled. He couldn't remember ALL the deaths that Tigerstar had caused, but he was sure there was a lot more.
"That wasn't me! That was Darkstripe!"
"Oh please," Bugeater snorted, "Darkstripe couldn't even kill a kit, or a starving and weak cat, as if he could kill an apprentice and a warrior who were probably in peak condition."
"Um, okay, it was Hawkfrost."
"Uh huh, Hawkfrost wasn't even born yet!"
Theloyalbrambleclawpaw started to struggle in his grasp.
"Stop moving!" he hissed, digging his claw into Theloyalbrambleclawpaw's throat, watching with disgust as blood started trickling down his pelt, staining his fur. He hated blood, but he had to do this, it was the only way to get Tigerstar to listen.
"Go ahead and kill him, I can just make more kits!"
"Um no," Bugeater stepped aside, revealing the dead queens.
"What have you done? Now how will I take over the forest?" Tigerstar wailed.
"Killing is bad Tigerstar, being evil is bad, you should feel guilty for killing those cats but you don't."
"Um, you literally just killed two hundred and ninety-six she-cats," Mudclaw meowed.
"Oh them? I'll just bring them back to life," Bugeater meowed with a dismissive wave of his paw.
"For StarClan's sake! When are you going to stop? I was having a great pawdicure up in StarClan!" Whitestorm spat.
"Yeah, facials are fantastic, now, Firestar is stuck trying to decide if me, Lionheart, Whitestorm, or Brambleclaw should be the deputy!" Redtail spat.
"I don't even want to be deputy!" Whitestorm exclaimed.
"Well, look on the brightside, no matter who Firestar chooses, ThunderClan will still be the strongest clan in the forest," Bugeater meowed.
His attention was then grabbed by a chubby black and white cat strolling down the thunderpath. He ignored Tigerstar hissing,
"Kittypet!" and ran over to the cat.
"Omfsc! I think you're my grandfather!" he exclaimed.
"Not possible," the cat said.
"I know you probably don't have kits yet, but that's because I'm from the future, I'm Bugeater by the way, what's your name?"
"My name is Smudge, and it's NOT possible," Smudge meowed.
"It has to be, you're black and white like me!"
"Uhh, I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't have the right equipment for kit-making, I haven't since I was a kitten."
"Noooo!" Bugeater wailed. Why did every cat he talk to turn out to not be his grandfather?
His hopes were soon lifted again, when he saw a black and white cat, walking with a black cat who had white on his chest, and white on the tip of his tail.
'Maybe one of them are my grandfather!' he thought racing over to them.
"Grandfather!" he exclaimed when he reached them.
"Uhh what?" the bigger one asked, looking confused.
"I'm Bugeater, what's your name, Grandfather?"
"Well, it's not Grandfather, I'm Barley."
"And I'm Ravenpaw," the mostly black one meowed.
"Okay, which one of you are my grandfather? And before you say you don't have kits, I am from the future."
"Neither, we're um, together, so we'll never have kits, sorry." Barley meowed.
"No! Thwarted again!" Bugeater spat.
He then remembered a cat back at ThunderClan, Toadstep! He was black and white!
He raced back there as fast as he could.
"What are you doing on ThunderClan territory?" Thornclaw demanded, pointing his gun.
"Oh my StarClan Thornclaw, I just heard Ashfoot and Crowfeather conspiring to steal your gun!" Bugeater lied.
"What?" Thornclaw growled, "I'll kill them!"
When he stormed off, Bugeater wasted no time running to the camp. He caught site of Toadstep right away, playing poker with Swiftpaw.
They were both black and white! However, he knew that Swiftpaw couldn't be his grandfather, because he died as an apprentice.
"Guess what Toadstep?" he meowed.
"What?" Toadstep asked, without looking up from the leaves that he was using as cards.
"You're my grandfather!"
Toadstep took a drag off his cat-mint cigarette and looked up with blood-shot eyes.
"I know you're from the future and all, but that's impossible because I will die of greencough before I have kits."
Bugeater gasped.
"How'd you know?"
"Smoking cat-mint has allowed me to see into the future, it has allowed me to see things that no other cat can see."
"Omfsc! Can you tell me who my real grandfather is?"
Toadstep nodded, and took another drag off his cigarette.
"Your real grandfather is...Onestar!"